Happy Thoughts, Happy Molecules

Dorothy Rabinowitz has an excellent review of the Deepak Chopra/CNN/Larry King discussion of the tragedy in Mumbai/Bombay in today's WSJ, "Deepak Blames America." If the topic weren't so serious, it would be beyond belief. But I want to tag along on her Deepak description and qualifications

healer, New Age philosopher and digestion guru, advocate of aromatherapy and regular enemas . . .If you have happy thoughts, then you make happy molecules. . ."

to launch my snark at Ohio Health Dimensions Winter Classes and Programs. It looks like a curriculum developed by Ms. Rabinowitz' caricature of Dr. Chopra it is so overloaded with new ageism and alternative eastern therapies and religions.

• Ageless beauty from within: incorporate self-healing practices to support your entire being with ancient wisdom of the East
  
• Alexander Technique--learn to rejuvenate your mind and body, enhance your thinking
  
• Bring your soul to work--connect your natural gifts and values to the demands and sacrifices of your job
  
• Enhance your wellness with guided imagery--create positive changes--bring a floor mat
  
• Green living--discover how easy it is--create a sustainable future for the seventh generation (indigenous people's concept)
  
• Learn hypnosis for a change--what? No hope too?
  
• Natural therapies for women's health issues--alternative remedies from irritable bowel disease to mood disorders
  
• De-stress with active relaxation
  
• Planting seeds of wellness--body, mind and spirit, culminating in the joyful group experience of Mandala
  
• Seasonal detoxification--season-specific herbal remedies, purifying supplments (colonics?)
  
• A lot of Yoga classes--too many to mention--chair, Hatha, baby, fertility
  
• Magical moves of NIA--this is yoga with low impact aerobics and a sweat
  
• Releasing Problems--blend a mind/body relaxation session with a land/water experience
  
• Tai Chi--ancient Chinese exercise
  
• Tai Kwon Do--fitness for self-defense
  
• MBSR--based on ancient practice of mindfulness--homework!
  
• MBSR graduate program--meditation, wisdom teachings
  
• Self-healing through classical meditation--guided exploration of techniques, Loving Kindness Meditations
  
• Taste of Mindfulness Meditation--individual sessions for only $50 a pop

And there are useful programs too like How to buy a home, Understanding auto insurance, digital cameras and retirement planning.

OhioHealth is Riverside Methodist, Grant, Doctors, Grady, Dublin Methodist, Hardin, Marion General, etc. Since they can't get you from ER to a room in less than 11 hours (which creates massive stress), I don't understand why they are offering yoga and guided imagery to reduce stress!