Speaking memories at lunch

Lunch today was nothing incredible--rotisserie chicken, alfredo sauce, with macaroni, asparagus, fresh spinach, toasted French loaf with garlic butter, fresh pineapple with blueberries, and a homemade chocolate cookie (for him, I was full). No photo was taken. But we had a lively conversation. I try to tell stories he hasn't heard before (and that I haven't heard either). 

He gets sort of mixed up on the dates. I do remember those. We met in March 1959 and married in September 1960, so it's been 65 years since our first date. We both remembered what we wore because we went to the St. Pat's Ball. He wore his grandfather's sport coat and I wore a friend's lace red dress. 

 I think what started the conversation at lunch today was a photo I had of him in 1975 when he was super skinny. He had propped his painting up against our Ford Pinto in the drive way so I could take a photo.  And he then looked like the guy I met in 1959. In those days some of us didn't know each other very well. I went to summer school in Maine that summer, and he worked in Indianapolis the fall of 1959 while I was at U. of Illinois, so actually, we were practically strangers. We had both been engaged before, and to my knowledge they are also both alive.

I can't seem to find the photo I showed him today in his skinny days, but I remember I bought him this suit in the boys' department at Lazarus. 1974. And that helmet hair I was wearing was all the rage.

Do you remember "The Rules?"

I don't. I was busy working on my career reading up on exercise therapy for horses and kidney diseases in dogs (Veterinary Medicine Librarian, Ohio State University). This book was a big hit in the 90s. If you followed "The Rules" you were all but guaranteed a husband (if you were a girl). One of the authors got a divorce, and remarried but they both are doing well. Apparently you can sign on to become one of their counselors. I've been married close to 50 years, my parents were married over 65, my grandparents' combined years of marriage were 133. Maybe I should apply. But it's been so long I don't remember what the rules were back then (1960, 1934, 1912, 1901).

These days the authors are also giving advice on nose jobs and closet cleaning. Woot!

3768

My son had a date with a stranger

the other night. By that I mean I don't know her (I never do). I wonder if he told her about the livestock, Rosa, who can knock down a grown woman with her tail, and Edie, who looks like a fat sausage link on toothpicks. Aunt Purl has a post about how to tell a guy on the first date (or first pick-up line) that you have four cats. A lot of people must identify, because when I read it she had 199 comments.

Samples:

When I was dating after my divorce, I used the cats to test the dates! If the cats didn't rub on them and totally fur-a-late them the first time they came over---no more dates! Bad mojo! If the cats didn't like them, I was suspicious. I swear, it worked! When I ignored the cat hate of one guy, he totally turned out to be a jerk later! I swear! When my now-husband came over, one of my cats sat on his lap and rubbed his face on his jacket zipper--love at first sight!

Sorry, I have you beat here :) I'm a librarian! Thankfully I only had one cat when I meet my husband. Now we have 3 adorable fur babies. And he kids me that he saved me from becoming "an old maid librarian with cats".

I will trade two teenage boys and dog for a cat. Any takers?

I only have 1 cat but 3 ex-husbands, and let me tell you, THAT is a serious dating handicap, in my mind, at least!

2754 The Waitress test

I don't think I included some of these points in my "How not to marry a jerk" blog and "How not to marry a high maintenance woman" that I wrote a few months back.

Here's one. The waitress test. "If you find yourself dating a man who treats you like a queen and other females like dirt - hit the road."

There's a long list of signs you're dating a loser over at Coffee Talk, who's recently been dumped and feeling really blue. She got them from Joe Carver's website. He's currently working with juvenile offenders. I think there's probably a link between losers and offenders. He also has an article "Love and the Stockholm syndrome."

Then she writes some advice from bitter experience for women about being dumb and living with the boyfriend:

"Marriage verses living together: Many couples today live together for years and never get married; this is fine if you don't want to marry this person, but if you do don't sell yourself short. If you want marriage from this man then stick to your guns and don't settle for less, move the wedding date up if it is so imporant for you two to live under one roof, if you're sure that he is the one for you. But don't fall for these lines from him: I want to see how we work together before we tie the knot. Or, I don't want to get married till I can buy you a proper ring, or have a nice wedding, or save money to buy a nicer home or car, or I want to pay off some bills before I get married. Accept it, he's not looking for a wife...He's looking for a Room-mate, THAT COOKS AND CLEANS AND GIVES HIM FREE SEX, and pays half of the bills so he has more money. He's still looking for MRS. RIGHT, and you just allowed him to say, "You're not her" and went along with it. You're worth more then what he is willing to offer, be smart run fast!"

Couldn't have said it better myself. I would have even told her that two years ago when I first came across her blog, but she wouldn't have believed me then.

Thirteen things about my date to the St. Patrick's Ball
1. Balls at the University of Illinois were usually sponsored by a campus wide or large organization and held in more public places like the Armory or the Athletic building; dances were for the individual fraternity, sorority or independent residence. Other balls during that era were Sno-Ball, Beaux-Arts Ball, Military Ball, Interfraternity Ball and Panhellenic Ball.

2. Balls always had a nice dance band or small orchestra; dances usually a combo. To not have live music would have been unthinkable. There was also a photographer to take a formal portrait. I can't find the 1959, so the photo is from the 1960 Ball.

3. First we had a coffee date to get acquainted, since the St. Pat's Ball was an invitation from a guy I didn't know.

4. I borrowed a red lace dress from my housemate Sally who was slightly smaller.

5. My date wore a jacket that had belonged to his grandfather, who was slightly larger.

6. I weighed more than my date.

7. He borrowed a car from a friend.

8. I was 19 and living in McKinley Hall.

9. He was 21 living in Armory House.

10.My date was one of the few good dancers I'd ever dated. We went to many more dances.

11. He was a city boy, I was a small town girl.

12. He probably wanted to impress me so he told me that night he'd like to marry me.

13. He did.

Visitors and other Thirteeners: 1. Kimmy, 2. Carol, 3. Natalie 4. PJ 5. Kelly 6. Libragirl 7. Denise8. Scouser 9. Momma A 10. Tanya, 11. TNChick, 12. Carmen, 13. Jane, 14. 15. Jade, 16. Dariana, 17. Froggie, 18. Courtney, 19. Kontan Jou, 20. Lingerie Lady, 21. Mr. Roe 22. Mar 23. Lazy Daisy, 24. Melli, 25. Lauren, 26. Elle, 27. Robin 28. Karen, 29. Karin, 30. Renee, 31. Shelli, 32. Amy the Black, 33. JK 34. Master Enigma

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