2057 A New Year's Resolution for the Guys

At the coffee shop this morning I was reading a gay journalist's column in Columbus Alive, our local entertainment paper. I won't go into most of it, because I just don't care what young junior high guys see in the locker room--or think. But he did mention a New Year's resolution he made about three years ago that he has kept, and I thought it was worth passing along, with my own added suggestions.

He resolved to not make "old man noises." This he described as sighing and moaning and groaning through various physical activities. And he has kept that resolution. If his knees ache when he suddenly stands up, so what. No one needs to know, and he just bites his tongue.

My suggestion is that you guys resolve to give up your young man noises too, and you all know what those are. Women hate them, we just keep quiet. We are not impressed. It doesn't increase our affection for you. Doesn't raise the libido. Doesn't get you out of the job jar. Pretend you're in a job interview, or meeting a client, or performing on stage, and just hold it. It won't kill you. Women the world over will thank me if you keep this resolution.

2056 Television confessional

TV has never fascinated me. Perhaps I was too old--21--when I actually first watched regularly. So my early memories of TV aren't what most people my age have. Little Opie on Andy Griffith was the first star I actually followed, and soaps were 15 minutes and so was the evening news. And our set was black and white (a wedding gift from my in-laws), so watching TV didn't seem to take so much effort. Or I was younger and had more working brain cells. Now we have cable with about 60 choices and there's nothing to watch.

But over at Blest with Sons, there is a really great confessional and a conversion, not only what TV meant to her growing up (it was her friend and companion), but what she thinks of it now.

Blest writes: "I was raised on television! (not blaming my parents, mind you) I was a socially inept, persecuted (gotta love that public school socialization), fantasy-livin’, latch-key kid. Television was my social life, my comforter, my escape, my friend, my mentor… Oh yeah, I had books too. But the beauty of A.D.D. is that I could read and watch tv at the same time! (and eat too! Multi-tasking at its finest!) I have hours and hours of warm comfortable memories built around television."

And then she goes on with 5 random thoughts, like why do we call that piece of furniture for which we all rearranged our lives the "entertainment center?" The center of entertainment! And why shouldn't something else in our lives like a bookshelf or spending time together be the center?

HT Sherry.

2055 Unintended consequences--loan fund opens a can of worms

When Ohio legislators set up a Research and Development Investment Loan Fund the purpose was "to position Ohio to compete aggressively for private-sector R&D investments that will create high-wage jobs; . . . to target large investments from companies with significant assets and sales; . . . to aggressively pursue research and development operations and facilities and to fund the cost of capital purchases. Assistance from the State would be in the form of a low-interest loan, partnered with a tax credit." We Ohioans were told we'd be country bumpkins if we didn't get on the technology bandwagon.

When Donato's Pizza, a small fast food pizza chain based in Ohio (yes, high tech, high wage paying pizza) tried to get some of that R & D money last year to develop a different kind of dough for the crust, they were turned down. So Donato's hired a lobbyist (with ties to the state house) who apparently convinced our legislators that because pizza flour is made from wheat, and wheat is an agricultural product, and Ohio is heavily agricultural, and it is "food science," AND TWENTY-FIVE new jobs may be in the works if Donato's qualifies for this loan, and MAYBE (but no promises) Donato's will expand their franchise in Ohio . . .etc., etc.

"The same request by Donatos for a $2.9 million low-interest loan that lawmakers turned away in October will be back Monday before the state Controlling Board. This time, Donatos is expected to win easy approval from the legislative spending-oversight panel.

The company wants the 10-year, 2 percent loan to help pay for a $4.6 million expansion of its operations in Gahanna. The renovations and new equipment would help it develop a pizza dough that rises in one day instead of three, according to state documents." Columbus Dispatch, Jan. 20, 2005

It would seem that Ohio legislators have learned nothing from our retirement fund coin scandal, the golf ethics charges for our Republican Governor who ranks 50th out of 50, and ties to the Abramoff lobbyist fiasco.

Politics. Doesn't it just drive you crazy?

2054 Procrastination Tip

Procrastination isn't my biggest problem, but I've been known to find the Christmas tablecloth in the clothes basket in July. Right now I'm kicking a grocery sack I filled when I cleaned my office in November. These are NOT trash items, but just things removed from the surface so that the room looked nice for Thanksgiving. Now I'm sort of wondering what's in it since I haven't missed anything.

The other day, reading a right brained blog (artistic), I came across the book Organizing from the Right Side of the Brain by Lee Silber. Since we had just reorganized our art studio, laundry room, storage room and furnace room, I thought I'd take a peek and see if we'd done anything right. Our local library couldn't find its copy, and couldn't find a location to loan it (that's a whole other story to be shared only with fellow librarians). But my friend Adrienne (also a librarian) found a copy in the Worthington Public Library, and today her nice husband handed it to me at the coffee shop. I have only looked at the title page and table of contents (no index), but I did see one little after thought on the last page of text that I thought was excellent if you're having trouble getting started (procrastinating as we call it) on a task:

"I put my favorite song on the stereo and make the goal of organizing the length of the song. Of course, once I start I continue because starting can be the hardest part--especially when something feels overwhelming." Jill Baldwin Badonsky, Creativity Coach.

I have a tape player and a Cynthia Clawson tape in the laundry room. This might work with the ironing.

2053 I've been tagged

Checking my e-mail this morning, I discovered that I'd been tagged by Randy Kirk. He has just celebrated his one year blogiversary, and writes that this occasion gives him the right to make up his own meme, and tag five regulars to his site. He’s thought about this question for a long time, and here it is:

The question is: What are the first five things you want to ask Jesus when you get to heaven?

1. It’s so obvious when I looked around my earthly home, that you are a master artist. Is it the fallen world that makes so many of us visually and artistically challenged and impairs our thought closing our eyes to the beauty?

2. Where are you keeping all our pets and how soon can we get together? It must be like Noah’s Ark around here because my pastor says that if heaven is to be perfect and have no sorrow, and that includes our pet, she’ll be here.

3. Did you really care about how we baptized? As you well know (since you were there when I went under in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit), I grew up Anabaptist, and spent over 30 years as a Lutheran--so I‘ve heard just about every imaginable sermon on this topic in my life time of pew sitting. And they were all convinced they were doing it your way!

4. Why didn’t you come back sooner? If you were waiting until I witnessed to a particular unbeliever you put in my path, will you let me know who she was?

5. Although I think I understand free will, could you just lay out for me, touching the highlights of history since I know others have questions and you are quite busy, what you had in mind? All that killing and disaster, hate and envy, incest and adultery, abuse and anger, disrespect and gossip, emptiness and loneliness--I tell you Jesus, it’s enough to make me fall on my knees and say, Save Me!

Thanks, Randy, for selecting me for your very own meme.

Now I’m Tagging Hokulea, Vox Lauri, Daddy’s Roses, Vinni, and Sherry. But you are welcome to add your comments here.

2051 Living with the dead

Pastor Petersen writes: "I feel very close to those I've buried, often closer than I do to those I've married or confirmed or baptized. It is a great honor and privilege to confess on behalf of the dead, to evangelize in their name, and to comfort those who mourn for them. I think about them a lot, am always aware of them. I don't really mourn for many of them, not like their families anyway. For it has not yet been my mother or father, my wife or my child who is dead. But I do commune with them, and I do remember them, all of them. For I've spoken for them, I've witnessed to what they now behold and the reward they now enjoy, and that creates a bond that goes beyond the boundaries of this life."

Is the Oscars award ceremony doomed to have shrinking audiences each year?

This was a question dated today from an on-line newsletter I receive, so I thought they really wanted my input. I clicked over to the polling site, and got the message that the poll was closed; and thank you for your participation. I was going to say that if Hollywood ever produced a movie worth seeing (worth $6, the horribly loud sound system, the bad language, and no roles for women over 45), well, sure, I might watch the awards. But if I wouldn't watch Chris Rock, why would I watch Jon Stewart?

2049 Tips and Clips from columnists and the news

Lots of interesting topics in the news--I'll check around for links, although even if on-line, they might not be accessible. These are slightly altered or paraphrased (some columnists get a tad heavy on the adverbs and adjectives).

"For those who have longed to go to movies that are uplifting, End of the Spear is one of the best. It is about forgiveness and reconciliation. The Waodani (an Ecuadorian tribe) at first refused to cooperate in the retelling of their past. Then they learned of the violence in American culture and agreed to the film to help us change." Cal Thomas. http://www.everytribe.com website for the movie.

"Organized labor, having tried and failed to unionize Wal-Mart's employees, has turned to organizing state legislators." George F. Will, on Maryland's legislative mugging and social engineering. Their hate for Wal-Mart hurts Maryland's poor and low income by limiting their choices of jobs and reasonably priced products. And if you've ever driven through western Maryland, you'll see that this will be a hardship.

"Most European countries have seen an increase in greenhouse gas emission since signing Kyoto in 1997." WSJ editorial, Jan. 19, 2006. It goes on to say that despite our industrial growth, emissions in the USA have actually declined (slightly). Something like 15 out of 17 European signers are going to miss their targets. Unfortunately, there has been no reduction in hot air by the liberals.

"The battle over wiretaps isn't a legal issue, it is a political issue between Congress and the White House over supremacy on matters of national security." WSJ editorial, Jan. 19, 2006, "Highwire Tap Act." Points out the really bad knowledge of constitutional law the current lawsuits are based on.

When reading a timeline about progress for women in Scholastic's Monthly magazine, I was surprised to see instant macaroni and cheese (1937) and the dishwasher (1949) listed right along with the sewing machine (1833), which truly did make a stunning difference in women's lives. Vol.55,no.5, Feb. 2003. The shallowness of knowledge about women displayed on the chart makes me wonder about the literary accomplishments it included.

2048 Who's eating my take-out?

Every time there's a survey on what Americans are eating or drinking, I always wonder who's eating mine? "Americans are now more likely to take out food from a restaurant than to eat on-site (NPD, 2005a). In 2005, Americans ate 80 meals per person at restaurants, down from 93 in 1985,
and took home 57 restaurant meals per person, up from 33 meals 20 years ago. Americans carried 27 restaurant meals to work this year, vs 23 in 1985." Food Technology. I'm eating about 60 meals a year in restaurants and perhaps 12 take out. Unless they count morning coffee, then I'm over 300, but I'm guessing that isn't in this figure.

OK. OK. So we did have a pizza from Iaccono's tonight, but it was the first time in three weeks we had a take out meal. And I'm sure they don't count the half a sandwich I bring home on Friday nights from our date night at a sports bar. But we Americans are fixing fewer meals at home, which may account for the increasing acceptance of overweight people. They's us. Pizza is the third most popular take-out and restaurant food in America, and french fries are number one for women and children (hamburgers for men) for restaurant food.

This one surprised me--I don't think I see it in Columbus: "Today, there are more Chinese restaurants in the U.S. than McDonald’s, Wendy’s, and Burger King outlets combined (NAD, 2005). Young consumers dramatically favor ethnic foods. While families with kids under age 12 account for 34% of total dollars spent on foods and beverages, they account for 52% of dollars spent on Mexican foods. And, to a lesser extent than Hispanic foods, a similar trend exists with Asian foods (Lempert, 2005)."

It is a well documented, fact filled report in a reliable journal.

2047 Brand new baby blogger

Bona is a brand new blogger at My Passions, and is excited about everything, especially finding a new way to communicate her passions. Stop by and welcome her to the blogosphere as she learns the ins and outs of blogging.

2046 Oprah needs a session with Dr. Phil

says WaPo columnist Richard Cohen. Others are calling James Frey’s “memoirs,” A Thousand Little Lies. When you stretch a three hour prison visit waiting for a friend into a three month prison sentence, I’d say that’s a bit elastic for a definition of non-fiction, even by Mary Mapes standards for her wannabe National Guard story. It isn’t even “truthiness,” whatever that is, because everything that occurred during that three months just didn’t. Here’s a link to Cohen’s column, although because of my registration cookies, I don’t know if you see what I see. Sort of like Oprah’s judgment, innit?

“A mention of anything on her show will make a millionaire out of a pauper or, in the case of a writer such as the Frey the Fibber, a bestseller of undreamed proportions. The man became famous and rich on account of Oprah -- and, or so we all seem to believe, happy as well“

“The Smoking Gun Web site found out, for instance, that Frey had not spent three months in jail, as he wrote, but maybe a couple of hours or so waiting for a friend to post bond. His account of his stay in a treatment facility is questionable, as is his involvement in a train-car collision that took the lives of two teenage girls. These are not, as Frey keeps claiming, the usual tussle we all have between memory and fact, but veering departures from fact into fiction.”

“In this vast corporation [Doubleday, the publisher], there seemed to be no one who knew the difference between fact and fiction, truth and a lie. (Fiction packaged as fact is a lie.) Doubleday did not seem even a tad embarrassed that it had been snookered, that it had lent its considerable name and reputation -- built on the hard work of many an honest writer -- to a sham.”

The Smoking Gun website provides a fascinating read, especially since much of this was supposed to have happened in Ohio.

James Frey
Oprah

2045 A huge thank-you

to my cousin Connie in Florida who sent me her family memoirs on DVD prepared by her niece. How wonderful to see all her parents' old family movies converted to a modern medium with voice overs looking back over 60 years. Connie and her sisters reminisced about their parents, the homes they lived in, their schools, the town where we all grew up, the parks we knew, the church we attended and especially their mother's sewing and handiwork. I think you could fill a small museum with my aunt's sewing, knitting, crochet, handmade dolls and animals and craft projects. It just blew me away. Another segment on the DVD had Connie's father and two of his sisters (my grandmother's siblings) retelling the old family stories they remembered.

Connie's grandmother was my great-grandmother, so it was a surprise to see great-grandma moving quickly, slender and straight, smiling at the camera from the late 1930s. My aunt did a wonderful job of capturing her husband's family in natural settings, walking in and out of the house, or getting together for picnics and family dinners, sitting together in lawn chairs laughing and talking. She had a good eye and a steady hand. My aunt took movies over the years of her daughters' school classes, so I recognized many old acquaintances from home--but in the years before I knew them. I saw the old gradeschool and playground with huge trees in a town that no longer has a school. I even saw my own sisters smiling back at me before the time I have any memory of them.

If you have old fading family movies or slides from your childhood, and a few relatives around who remember what they are about, get them to someone who can preserve them (the film, not the people), before the medium and the memories are lost forever.

home movies
family memoirs

2044 Women and Losers

This could have been a Thursday 13, because these all appeared in one recent Dear Abby column, and it worked out to 13 items. How do needy women find these losers? I'm guessing she knew he was drinking too much and was abusive before she married him--they were probably living together--maybe even made a few babies. Did she think he would change? Did she think marriage was magic? That a creep was better than nobody? Here's the list. I can't figure it out.

1. She married at 23, now is 30.

2. She has 3 children, one from a previous “relationship.”

3. Husband can’t hold a job.

4. He was fired for a bad attitude and harassing women.

5. He’s addicted to alcohol and weed.

6. He wants her to participate (she doesn’t say she doesn’t).

7. He calls her 15 times a day or instant messages her.

8. He accuses her of cheating if she doesn’t respond.

9. He slaps her.

10. He has grabbed her by the throat.

11. He verbally abuses her.

12. He treats her oldest child (by the other man) abusively.

13. She has no friends or family.

Dear Abby says: Get some help. Call 1-800-799-7233.

2043 Exercise and Alzheimer's

My husband called this to my attention on the news last night. He is a participant and fill-in instructor in an aerobics class where he is the only guy. The ladies love him--and they've seen him at his worst. But he brings them flowers on Valentine's Day and had t-shirts made for them.

Anyway, back to the story: "Routine exercise, even as simple as a 15-minute walk three times a week, can help ward off dementia and related conditions among those 65 and older, according to a study published on Monday.

Exercise may help by improving brain function since it boosts blood flow to areas of the brain used for memory, according to the chief author of the study, Eric Larson, director of the Group Health Cooperative Center for Health Studies in Seattle. . .

The six-year study involved 1,740 people age 65 and older. It found that those who exercised three or more times a week had up to a 40 percent lower risk for developing dementia compared with those who exercised fewer than three times per week."

2042 The seven deadly sins

Judy and I had coffee at Panera's this morning and somehow got on the topic of the seven deadly sins. We could only name four: greed (I think that's how we got started talking about it--corporate greed), sloth, lust and gluttony. We racked our brains and couldn't come up with the other three. I told her I'd check Google, but then forgot when I was at home. Later in the day I was at the public library looking for a book they said was "lost" (usually that means misshelved). Before leaving, I wandered over to the area where Friends of the Library has its perpetual book sale. I looked through a few magazines on the shelves and before turning to leave my eye wandered to a box on the floor. The magazine cover on top was the September 2005 Johns Hopkins and read, "The 7 deadly sins and why they are not always so bad."

As it turns out, the other three are pride, envy and anger, and what we called greed is referred to as avarice. The opening statement says that over the centuries, the seven deadly sins have changed some. Each sin has its own article. But I did notice that the avarice article was about greedy CEOs. I'm guessing Howard Stern's salary with Sirius exceeds most CEOs who are actually contributing something to the business and society besides 4 letter words, don't you think?

seven deadly sins
Howard Stern

2041 The American emergency health system

as explained to an EMT in the UK appears in the comments of Random Acts of Reality, the blog of an EMT. The blog started with a recruiting video for EMTs in the USA, and the Brits were wondering if that's the way it really was, and someone made a remark that the injured would need his credit card to get into the ER. That's where the American EMT jumped in with what I think is one of the best overviews I've heard of emergency care, how it is provided, its speed, and how it is paid for.

"I've never worked a shooting that came from a legally owned gun. From what I've heard, while guns are illegal in England, illegal guns are still available if you know where to look. I've never had a paramedic or EMT shot. Any scenes that sound dangerous automatically have a police car sent to secure the scene before ambulance crew are let in."

"At no point during emergency treatment is a patient asked if they can afford to pay. They may be asked if they have insurance, and what kind if it isn't urgent, as the ambulance crew knows that somewhere down the line the patient will have to pay, and insurance companies may pay more of the bill if the patient is at the "right" hospital. That is waived in a true emergency, and they are taken to the nearest facility that will handle them. Every hospital in the country must post signs either in the ER waiting or triage rooms informing patients that they have a right to medical treatment, regardless of their ability to pay."

". . . the poor recieve medical insurance from state and national programs. Because there is a charge (but usually little or no enforcement) for an ambulance, people tend to call more for true emergencies, and maternataxis are rare (unless you count complications). I have never in my life sent or recieved an ambulance that took more than 6 minutes."

"While it would be nice for everyone to have full and complete (including preventative) care, I prefer knowing that I can always have access to an ambulance in an emergency, that it will usually get there within 4 minutes (the magic time they tell us that it takes a major artery cut to bleed to death), even if it takes me a year to pay it off later. I like knowing that we can prosecute people who purposely fake calls."

"Once a year, many local hospitals and other groups sponsor "health fairs", where for as little as $5-10 US (or less if you qualify for low-income assistance, or have insurance which prefers to pay the lower bulk cost for these tests), you can have a full physical, including a blood draw which scans for 50+ different indicators, and your results are given back to you with directions on who to follow up with."

The UK EMTs were polite and thanked him for the information--most of which they didn't know, and most Americans don't either, unless they know someone who works in the ER.

2040 A letter from home

Capt B, one Marine's view in Iraq, describes what it is like to get a letter from home.

"But what I will tell you about is the smell inside an envelope from home. Where you can actually smell some of the things that were there when the letter was written. You can close your eyes and recognize the smell of the familiar little one who wrote you the letter. You can pick up on familiar surrounding’s like the pledge cleaner that was used on the table where the letter was written on or remember where the flowers are in your home that are neatly placed and accompany your letter. The smell of the room where the letter was written in cuts through the familiar burning tire trash smell you’re currently surrounded in. It’s a nice treat to get mail regardless who it is from. You get the letter here in a country that doesn’t even have a mail system. It might have been a week old which is better than past wars where it could have been months before you received a piece of mail, it’s a special piece of home."

2039 A silly meme for Monday

I saw this at Eamonn Fitzgerald's Rainy Day.

1. My uncle once: served bravely in WWII, but died in the CBI theater due to someone else's stupidity.

2. Never in my life: have I lost a permanent tooth, but the crowns are increasing. I even have my wisdom teeth.

3. When I was five: I attended kindergarten in Alameda, CA.

4. High School is: where I learned most of what I know of useful, lifelong skills, especially typing and playing trombone.

5. My parents are: (were) honest, hard working, loyal, disciplined, and they stayed married over 65 years despite one being a Republican and one a Democrat.

6. I once met: Michael Jackson in a hotel in Columbus, OH. He was such a cute little boy. He probably doesn't remember.

7. There's this girl I know who: wears blue lipstick to look different and "with it" but looks like a corpse. Considering the number of dead people in the world, that's not terribly original.

8. Once, at a bar: (last Friday night, in fact) I saw about 20 women gather for an after work party squeezing around two of those round tall tables.

9. Last night: my daughter dropped by after borrowing our SUV so her husband could deliver her new washing machine.

10. Next time I go to church: I will hear a sermon on glorification, according to the schedule announced eariler.

11. When I turn my head left, I see: flashes of light that aren't there. It's called po- post- something I've forgotten, but it happens.

12. When I turn my head right, I see: my books, family photos, phone, TV and cd player.

13. How many days until my birthday?: You mean there's more?

14. If I was a character written by Shakespeare I'd be: someone's mother.

15. By this time next year: I hope I've visited Finland and Russia.

16. A better name for me would be: In Latin my name means pattern or model, which I translate to mean "follow his woman, she's never wrong," so why would I change it?

17. I have a hard time understanding: why people enjoy being late. They are perceived as rude, not important, which I think is their goal.

18. If I ever go back to school I: would be an artist.

19. You know I like you if: I want to hang out with you on Friday nights.

20. If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: my parents.

21. Take my advice: always.

22. My ideal breakfast is: an apple--Braeburn, but Honey Crisp when they are in season, quartered then sliced into about 12 pieces, with the skin on.

23. If you visit my hometown: you won't see much, but it has an interesting history in printing and publishing.

24. Why won't someone: find a good rest home for Teddy Kennedy.

25. If you spend the night at my house: I'll put out fresh towels and change the sheets in the guest bedroom.

26. I'd stop my wedding: if the groom didn't show up.

27. The world could do without: one more salty, crispy snack food high in fat and calories.

28. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: watch a film made by Michael Moore. (I used Eamonn's here--sounded perfect)

29. Paper clips are more useful than: i-Pods. (the keyword being "useful")

30. If I do anything well, it is: blogging frequently.

31. And by the way: I have 6 other blogs for you to visit. One isn't on blogspot.

I won't tag you but this is fun to do as quickly as you can with the first thing that comes to mind.

2038 Homeless--can we find a better word?

Dr. Helen addresses the topic of homelessness in this post. She comments on what I've often thought--not having a "home" really isn't the problem, is it? It's as though (in their bleeding hearts) if someone stepped up and paid the rent, it would all go away. I remember when the do-gooders put the mentally ill and retarded on the street in the 70s (with a temporary stop in group homes or half-way houses). I remember talking at church one day with a former pastor who was so excited that the blind, deaf and retarded people (i.e., they had all three disabilities) he worked with were finally going to have their "right" to live in society:

"No, it is not a "war" against the homeless. It is poor forethought and planning for the homeless when good Samaritans opened the mental institutions and turned the mentally ill out onto the streets--a large portion of the homeless are mentally ill-in some studies up to 50%. In addition, the gentrification of downtowns by urban yuppies and city planners caused a rush of condeming, closing or knocking down Single Room Occupancy Housing (SRO) which was devastating to the poor who lived in cheap housing. For example, in New York City in 1960, there were 640,000 people living in SRO's and rooming houses and by 1990, there were only 137,000. No wonder there are so many homeless there." Dr. Helen

2037 Bits of metal and plastic in my life

My life has been falling apart. A few days before Christmas one of the kitchen cabinet doors swung open 90 degrees--all by itself, and wouldn't close. We don't know if the house settled after 30 years, or what happened. To keep it closed, I tied a piece of dental floss around the knob and tied it to the coffee carafe thermos which I pushed under the cabinet next to the wall. The weight of the carafe would hold the door shut, but if I would forget and open the door quickly, the carafe would go swinging into the air and smack me, or knock something on the floor. So I attached a bright orange sticky to the dental floss so I could see it. Would you believe that you can get used to dental floss and orange paper dangling from your cabinets and not even notice them after awhile?

Then on Christmas Eve, one of my molars broke in half during my nice family dinner and I apparently swallowed it. The old filling held. Of course, it was a 3 day holiday, so it was Dec. 30 before I got into the dentist's chair, got the old filling removed, and a temporary to cover it until I got the "real temporary" crown today. And of course, I had to start all over on my dental deductible because now it is 2006. Some of my fillings are older than my dentist, so I think we'll be having this conversation often.

Then Friday night about 9 p.m. my glasses fell in my lap. A part had fallen off. I found my 2003 glasses (by feeling) which will work in a pinch and hoped the optometrist's office was open on Saturday.

As of this moment, we have fixed the cabinet door by putting a stick-on magnet on the trim piece and building up the screw on the back side of the handle with a small washer so it will connect with the magnet; today I got a very shiny, bright temporary crown and will get the porcelain crown in two weeks--but the sun is shining (as it will do 37% of the days in Ohio) and I'll blind you if I smile; and Saturday morning the optometrist's staff was able to fix my glasses in about two minutes.

For now, we are pasted and patched back together.