Feeling sorry for myself until . . .

 Downsizing isn't fun.  Everyone (almost) says so and has advice. There's a lot of sadness in going through items packed away and forgotten. Bob has old architectural drawings (masterpieces in my opinion in this day of computer generated plans and materials from classes he taught) and I have old essays, notebooks, poetry and memorabilia to sort through.

As I drink my morning coffee today I'm going through Christmas 2019 letters and cards. They were temporarily packed away in 2020 because of their notes and letters, but not repacked in the "big" box of treasures (going back 50+ years) because we had all of Phil's things to take care of that year of Covid. I stopped to re-read this one from Marion.

Marion is gone now; she died a few months after dictating this message. We met at Lakeside years ago at a lecture on healthy eating. The room was packed, and we were side by side in the back row. That's unusual for me--but a long friendship developed.  I noticed she carefully made notes in a small notebook, and as it turned out she was also a librarian, and we had many of the same interests. Our husbands became acquainted, and they also had similar interests like sailing and Lakeside history and architecture and served together on the Design Review Board. Shortly after they sold their adorable Lakeside home (perhaps 2017 or 2018) she was diagnosed with ALS. This was her Christmas 2019 message:

"Although I can't walk and my speech is limited due to the progress of ALS, I am grateful for many things this Christmas season.  My philosophy of living with ALS is to focus on the living and what I can do.

We have a handicapped van with a ramp so I am able to get out of the house. I go to church, the grocery store, shopping, and weekly to have my hair done.

I was in nursing care for five weeks after a week in the hospital with aspiration pneumonia but now I am so happy to be home again.  We were able to make home modifications such as a ceiling lift to get me in and out of a hospital bed.

I look forward to monthly ALS support group meetings and communication with other patients who are mostly men.  I am often the only female attending with ALS. I can read and my book club comes to my house for meetings.  They even came to the nursing facility to do a book discussion.  Friends call, come to visit, send beautiful cards, and bring food and flowers.  Thank you, dear friends.

I am able to go to monthly Lucas County Retired Teacher meetings and still serve as secretary on the Board of Directors.  A hospice nurse checks on me at home each week.  I can help prepare meals by making salads and fruit for lunch.

Jim is with me every step of the way.

Remembering you this Christmas with a wish and prayer for all the best."