Fried Green Tomatoes redux

The film at The Estates (formerly the Forum) on Sunday was Fried Green Tomatoes, a very popular 1992 retelling of Fannie Flagg's best setting novel (1987). All four of the women who star in it are winners--Kathy Bates (as Evelyn), Jessica Tandy (as Ninny), Mary Stuart Masterson (as Idgie) and Mary Louise Parker (as Ruth). It takes place in two eras, the 1920-30s and 1980-90s. Ninny tells Evelyn the story about Idgie and Ruth, thus bonding them as Evelyn slowly gathers the strength to become as strong as the two women in the story

 
It was funny in a sly way. Maybe more relevant in the 80s. In some ways it was a bit off putting because the story telling takes place in Ninny's residence--a nursing home, and Ninny is 83. It reinforces the image of the elderly--need I tell you what that image is? Or the image of blacks being victims, who rise up and destroy the dim witted, nasty white men. And women can't be real women with authentic friendships unless they are lesbians or brow beaten closet feminists with stupid, bumbling husbands (named couch).

I'm not playing the victim here, but the book is almost 40 years old and the movie almost 35. No wonder generations have grown up with this vision of race relations in our country. It's been a theme in their culture.

Feeling sorry for myself until . . .

 Downsizing isn't fun.  Everyone (almost) says so and has advice. There's a lot of sadness in going through items packed away and forgotten. Bob has old architectural drawings (masterpieces in my opinion in this day of computer generated plans and materials from classes he taught) and I have old essays, notebooks, poetry and memorabilia to sort through.

As I drink my morning coffee today I'm going through Christmas 2019 letters and cards. They were temporarily packed away in 2020 because of their notes and letters, but not repacked in the "big" box of treasures (going back 50+ years) because we had all of Phil's things to take care of that year of Covid. I stopped to re-read this one from Marion.

Marion is gone now; she died a few months after dictating this message. We met at Lakeside years ago at a lecture on healthy eating. The room was packed, and we were side by side in the back row. That's unusual for me--but a long friendship developed.  I noticed she carefully made notes in a small notebook, and as it turned out she was also a librarian, and we had many of the same interests. Our husbands became acquainted, and they also had similar interests like sailing and Lakeside history and architecture and served together on the Design Review Board. Shortly after they sold their adorable Lakeside home (perhaps 2017 or 2018) she was diagnosed with ALS. This was her Christmas 2019 message:

"Although I can't walk and my speech is limited due to the progress of ALS, I am grateful for many things this Christmas season.  My philosophy of living with ALS is to focus on the living and what I can do.

We have a handicapped van with a ramp so I am able to get out of the house. I go to church, the grocery store, shopping, and weekly to have my hair done.

I was in nursing care for five weeks after a week in the hospital with aspiration pneumonia but now I am so happy to be home again.  We were able to make home modifications such as a ceiling lift to get me in and out of a hospital bed.

I look forward to monthly ALS support group meetings and communication with other patients who are mostly men.  I am often the only female attending with ALS. I can read and my book club comes to my house for meetings.  They even came to the nursing facility to do a book discussion.  Friends call, come to visit, send beautiful cards, and bring food and flowers.  Thank you, dear friends.

I am able to go to monthly Lucas County Retired Teacher meetings and still serve as secretary on the Board of Directors.  A hospice nurse checks on me at home each week.  I can help prepare meals by making salads and fruit for lunch.

Jim is with me every step of the way.

Remembering you this Christmas with a wish and prayer for all the best."

Getting ready for summer

 We've uncovered the deck furniture and washed off the tabletop and chair webbing. Today we enjoyed an early birthday celebration with a friend.  His 90th. His children are throwing a party in June, but it will be the first day of our vacation, so we won't be in town.  The guys met at church in 1967, so that's about 57 years of friendship with Ron. He and his wife whom he met at Upper Arlington high school died four years ago. Dinner was grilled salmon, steamed cauliflower and asparagus, mixed fresh fruit and Key Lime Pie. We actually ate inside because there was a very noisy machine spewing ear splitting sounds across the creek, then after it quieted down we went outside to enjoy the lovely spring weather.

I've lost a close friend of 50 years, Nancy Long

Since January I've been keeping a close watch on my good friend Nancy Long, who has been in and out of the hospital several times.  Fortunately, I'd been able to visit her and talk to her on the phone during her last illness.  We met in 1974 in a Bible study at FCC, found out we both enjoyed going out for coffee for a chat, and later that year she introduced us to Lakeside.  I also knew her parents, daughters, husband, and had met most of the grandchildren. She was well read and always knew the latest trends in fashion, real estate, politics and investments, plus what was going on in our school system and city government. She was a Republican long before I was, but we rarely disagreed. We celebrated our birthdays together probably all but last year, our 50th anniversaries, attended the funerals of mutual friends, many Lakeside events, church services, and dinners.  This is her obituary.

 

Panera's for coffee--2005

Exercise class--Blues Brothers--1986

 

Our 50th anniversary 2010

Nancy Lou Mitchell Long passed away Wednesday, March 27, 2024.

She was the beloved wife of Professor Ronald K. Long for 64 years. She and Ronald were residents of First Community Village for nearly three years.

Nancy was born June 18, 1933, in Bellevue, to Bertram and Helen Moreland Mitchell, who preceded her in death. Nancy fought a courageous almost lifelong battle with lung disease (bronchiectasis) which left her with a chronic productive cough and ultimately led to her passing.

After graduating from Bellevue High School, Nancy attended Denison University, receiving a Bachelor of Arts degree (1955). She joined Chi Omega Sorority and was elected to Phi Beta Kappa and National Mortar Board Honorary her junior year. She earned her Master of Science in Counseling from Stanford University (1957). Nancy spent many of her years as an educator, teaching at Columbus State Community College, Ohio State University, Euclid Senior High School, and Harding Junior High School in Lakewood.

Nancy was a member of First Community Church since 1960 and served as chair of numerous councils and committees including First Community Foundation, FCC Governing Board, Board of Deacons, Couple's Circle 29, Women's Guild Board, and Guilds X and G. She also enjoyed OSU Women's Club, Wednesday Literary Club (20 years), Mortar Board Alumnae, American Association of University Women, and Women's Association of the Columbus Symphony Orchestra. Over the years, her interests included playing piano duets with friends, reading current books, and giving book reviews. She developed and directed a merchandising program for Mortar Board National Office.

Since 1947, Nancy and her family spent summers at the family cottage at Lakeside on Lake Erie where she enjoyed walking along the lakefront path and hosting her grandchildren each summer. She was active in Lakeside Women's Club, The Heritage Society, and Friends of the Hotel Lakeside.

Nancy is survived by her daughters, Marilyn (Patrick) Roddy of Knoxville, Tennessee, and Susan (Davin) McAndrews of San Francisco, California; grandchildren she cherished, Katherine (Noah) Lavine, McKenzie (Chase) Hall, and Margaret Roddy, and Davin (Mac), Mitchell, and Porter McAndrews; and great-grandsons, Henry and Simon Lavine.

As an only child, Nancy always considered herself fortunate to have shared her childhood with cousins James Dean Miller (Carole, deceased), Jane Louise Miller Davisson (deceased) (David, deceased), Sandra Miller Woolley (Frank, deceased), and Michael Miller (Lu Ann).

Memorial gifts may be sent to First Community Foundation - Guild X fund, 1320 Cambridge Blvd., Columbus, Ohio, 43212. Nancy's celebration of life will be 2 p.m. Saturday, April 13, 2024, at First Community Church, 1320 Cambridge Blvd., Columbus, Ohio, 43212. A reception for family and friends will be at the church following the service.

Arrangements have been entrusted to SCHOEDINGER NORTHWEST.

Time travel with memories

We've both been trying to remember the name of an electrician from Cleveland who was on Bob's Haiti team and was a friend on Facebook (until he blocked me because he was a Democrat).  But so far, we have not come up with a name.  But we will.  Long after we need it.

A few weeks ago, it came to me that I was forgetting a lot of names, faces and events (duh!), and I should write down a list of all the names of the people I remembered. What a dumb idea, I thought, but I couldn't get it out of my mind. I kept seeing a list in categories.  Forreston, Mt. Morris, church, Lakeside, college days, So, I finally started one in word processing, although at first, I was going to hand write it. I decided if I did it in the word processor, I could alphabetize, and use the "find" feature if I didn't remember where a name was. It's now up to about 12-13 pages. 

 I do have some printed church directories, our school annuals, our Lakeside property owners' directory, some club directories, etc. to use as guides. I also have the Mt. Morris Past and Present, and the Mt. Morris War Record. If there are photos, I look at them, and try to remember if or when I've ever really "known" the person. It's been interesting. I can remember many faces of the class of '52, but not '58 or '59. Some people I still know on Facebook like Dick Butler or Jim Isenhart. Then I have a little symbol next to the name if they have died and put in the death date if I know it. I remember a lot of the parents of friends, like Nancy's, and Lynne's, and Sylvia's. So, I'm adding those names too. I remember the people on our block on Hitt St. in Mt. Morris from when I was 4 or 5, because I use to walk into their houses and talk to them! For some I have to find sources for first names because they were, "Mrs. Aufterbeck" or "Mrs. Duncan," since we didn't call adults by first names. I knew so many adults from when I worked at the drug store and at the town library, so I'd better write down the names while I can still remember. There were a lot of farmers who came into the drug store, some all the way from Polo, and most of those names I've forgotten. I used to babysit a lot, so I'm trying to recall those names. There was a Jewish couple who lived on N. Hannah, I think their name was Fishman, but I've forgotten their first names, and their kids' names. Maybe it will come to me--in the middle of the night! :-)

Anyway, it's something to do when it's too hot to go outside. Who knows if I'll ever finish it.

  

  

 

Clara Mellem, 1930-2023, dear friend from church

"With deep sorrow, we announce that Clara Bernetta Mellum, nee Braaten, passed away Wednesday, March 29, 2023, at her home in Columbus, Ohio, surrounded by her loving husband, Reuben, of 66 years and her children. Clara was 92 years of age. In addition to her husband, Reuben, Clara is survived by her children, Mark (Bev), Steven (Jean), and Mary (Ken), along with nine grandchildren, ten great-grandchildren, sisters-in-law Joyce Braaten and Gladys Mellum and many nieces and nephews. Clara was preceded in death by her daughter-in-law, Kerri, and her grandson, Andy. She was also preceded in death by her parents, Ben and Clara Braaten, along with brothers, Newman, Iver, Boyd, and Norris, sisters Gladys, Adeline, and Bernice, sisters-in-law Ella and Ardith, and brothers-in-law Maurice and Les.

Clara was born on May 3, 1930, in Wyndmere, North Dakota. She was baptized and confirmed in the Lutheran faith at Gol Aal Lutheran Church, near Wyndmere. She grew up on the family farm and attended grade school at Garborg Township District 4. She graduated from Wahpeton High School in 1948. Clara earned a Bachelor's degree at Concordia College in Moorhead, Minnesota, where she met her husband, Reuben. Her teaching career started at a country school in North Dakota and continued with an elementary teaching position in the Twin Cities area. Clara and Reuben were united in marriage in Wyndmere on August 12, 1956.

After their marriage, Clara joined Reuben at the church parsonage in the Norway Lake area near New London, Minnesota. Their first son, Mark, was born in 1957, and in 1960, the young family moved to Breckenridge, Minnesota to serve Breckenridge Lutheran Church. Here, Clara's and Reuben's other two children, Steven and Mary, were born. After moving from Breckenridge in 1974, Clara and Reuben served two other churches, one in Pemberville, Ohio, and one in St. Clair Shores, Michigan. Wherever she lived, Clara served as a teacher in the public school system. In Pemberville, Clara taught migrant farmworkers' children and eventually directed that program. In St. Clair Shores, Clara was a substitute teacher for ten years until she and Reuben retired.

Upon their retirement, Clara and Reuben relocated to Columbus, Ohio, where they joined Upper Arlington Lutheran Church. Clara volunteered at the church's Clothes Closet as well as other volunteer opportunities, while Reuben served as a visitation pastor. At the time of her death, Clara and Reuben were living at the Forum at Knightsbridge in Columbus.

Throughout her life, Clara found joy in spending time with her family, which she treasured above anything else. She was eager to help her family in any endeavor. She enjoyed baking, cooking and volunteering at her church. Clara especially loved to carry on cherished family recipes for such things as Norwegian lefse, krumkake, and spritz cookies. She brought her rolls and cinnamon buns to countless family gatherings and enjoyed sharing her knowledge of baking and sewing with others.

A memorial service will be held on Friday, April 14, 2023, at Upper Arlington Lutheran Church on Lytham Road in Upper Arlington at 11:00 AM. Visitation will be at the church from 10:00 am - 11:00 am, with a lunch following the service. Interment will be at the columbarium at the church.''

Clara Mellum Obituary - Columbus, OH (dignitymemorial.com)

*                                            *                                       *

Clara and Reuben joined our church after his retirement and their son Steven lived here. He was our visitation pastor for several years, and we had occasion to call him when our daughter's father in law had an emergency and was in the hospital here in Columbus.  We were guests with them in February 2020 when the Hahms hosted a Valentine dinner (perhaps the last social event before the Covid lockdown that we attended) and each married couple brought their wedding photo.  Clara had the most beautiful wedding dress I've ever seen. We saw them several times at the Hahms who love to host creative and delicious dinners for 6-8 people. Every Sunday we saw Clara and Reuben go up the aisle for communion--they usually sat a few rows behind us.  The last time we saw her was Sunday, March 26, and she died while we were in Arizona March 28-April 4. We had planned a visit at their home in the Forum earlier in March, but we both had colds, so had postponed the visit.  We will miss her gentle ways and friendly smile.

Letter to a Democrat friend, January 2, 2001

It's amazing what turns up in old e-mails. Sometimes I can't get them to open. But the one I'm using for this "memory" was copied to a Word Document. If you remember the millennium scare when the experts thought all computers would fail because no one had programmed them to turn over to 2000, you'll understand why I sometimes don't know what year these were sent unless there are events to which I can connect. The computers continued to work, but didn't record the dates!

About this letter/e-mail. This reply was written January 2, 2001, I know because I mentioned the death of my mom (January 2000) and the December visit of my father. Also we discussed the election of George W. Bush. I was answering a note from a friend I hadn't seen for a long time who was about 30 years younger and had been in our small group from church.  From the context it had been about 5 years since we'd been together. We were both Democrats, although I had voted for Bush in November 2000 because of the abortion issue. I remember we went to her wedding a few years before; I heard years later that they were divorced. She apparently had said something in her letter, which I don't have,  that triggered these comments from me--still a registered Democrat, but ready to leave the party. In the letter below, if something is in parentheses, it's in the original, but something in brackets means I added it today to clarify. Also, I've changed personal names to letters.  Also, one more thing.  When I told my husband about finding this e-mail, he had no recollection of Barbara or our attending her wedding.

Dear Barbara,

It was good to get your e-mail of December 5 and find out what is going on in your lives. I'm happy you've found a believers' church. The Mill Run church opened a year ago [New Year's Eve 2000], but we still attend Lytham. [Comments followed about her deciding not to have children--she was adopted, and her adoptive parents had divorced--I think it was not a happy family.]

You may recall that I am also a registered Democrat--even voted for Clinton/Gore in 1992--mainly because Gore was on the ticket. Notice in my x-mas letter I didn't say which party was stealing the election, but you seemed to know--hmmm.) But I've voted Republican in the last 2 elections [1996, 2000] because they more closely represent what I think is important--human lives, not human lifestyle. I believe abortion is the defining issue of our time as was slavery 150 years ago. Each era has its problems it needs to solve. The difference is 150 years ago Christians (particularly women) were in the forefront trying to reverse a terrible crime against humanity, now women are the great perpetrators. The church just falls in line and tries to pretend it will go away if no one speaks out. The ethical standards of Christians seem to be no different than the rest of society.

The other day on the Rush Limbaugh program I heard a Republican woman complaining about "one issue" Republicans (she was pro-choice), and Rush said he didn't think there was such a thing, but where else could a pro-life person like me go? Four years of a Republican president might save many lives--maybe more if he gets the right people on the Supreme Court and partial birth abortion goes back to the slime pits where it belongs.

Bush has said he is against partial birth abortion and we hope he follows through. Where else could your vote save lives? That Clinton and Gore are Christians (and I believe they are) meant nothing once in office. Gore used to be pro-life (and he seemed to be capable of telling the truth before he became vice president) and he flip flopped for political power--maybe Bush will do the same, but for now I think he sees that wing of the party--those one-issue folks--still has some clout. In just the year 2000, we got partial birth abortion, research on human embryos and the abortion drug RU-486. So there is definitely a slippery slope and it's getting steeper. I think "death" is Clinton's legacy that he's been looking for--more deaths than a major war. Assisted suicide and euthanasia are coming down the pike, and if the Christians' stand on abortion is any indication, it is the gateway to new ways to "make choices."

You said you were thinking of leaving the country if Bush was elected. I don't remember Republicans threatening to leave if Clinton won in 1992 but perhaps they did (some Perot supporters may have in the next election), and Bush got a higher percentage of the popular vote than Clinton ever did. Democrats had the power for 40 years in the legislature, and I think the Republicans stuck it out. If you believe the Democrats are right about the Microsoft suit and it was necessary to hamstring our technology growth, and they were right to strangle our power sources so we have rolling brown-outs and gasoline shortages, and they were right to weaken U.S. by diminishing and demoralizing the military, then you should stick around and fight for your principles. Then maybe in 4 years you can have it all back--but in the meanwhile, if there are layoffs in technology or gasoline shortages, or power outages, remember those were your guys.

Our group keeps on going--like the energizer bunny--but sometimes I think we are the halt and the lame. But it keeps us on our knees! We have 14, 2 widows and 6 couples. X and Y still struggle but they come. Y suffers from a mental illness but is on medication. S continues to have small strokes--her daughter got married this past year. We thought perhaps J had Alzheimer's, but he had brain surgery to relieve some kind of pressure and is now OK. We took in a new couple about 3 years ago, and another new couple this year. N and D, our graduates, still come to special events. J and L and G and P moved out of town. N's dad died in the fall at 104--he was also X's grandfather.

We had a wonderful visit with my 87 y/o Dad in early December. I miss Mom, but have really enjoyed getting to know him better this past year. She was so easy to love and we all enjoyed her wisdom, counsel and love. He's a bit more difficult, but I've been so impressed with his bravery this past year.

I'll close now, and wait to hear from you in five years. I'll send you my family's story [not sure what I was referring to] in snail mail. Hope this doesn't clog your mailbox!

Norma

On making new friends at this age

Six years ago I wrote about the joy of new friends I'd made in the previous 15 years.  Since I didn't use surnames in the article, I had to pause and recall the names and faces. It's been hard to make new friends in these pandemic times, although I did renew some during the days we were taking care of our dying son, and his old friends from 30-40 years ago turned up to support him and us. It seems these days most of our new friends have been made during the summer at Lakeside, like the Priors, the Jankes, the Robys, a Bible study group at the Women's Club and a group of conservatives. I'll miss that when it's gone (just talked to the realtor today).

https://collectingmythoughts.blogspot.com/2016/12/make-new-friends-but-keep-old.html

In this blog, I mention new people I'd met since retiring in 2000--in the retirees' luncheon group, in our Bible study group at church, in an Ohio history group, in book club, and in the Pregnancy Center where I volunteered.

Just another bit of I told you so wisdom from my mom . . . 

Who is being rude and hateful? Let's Go Brandon

https://www.facebook.com/HillTVLive/videos/629277291444622  Hate speech is protected.  Democrats believe ridiculing and threatening the life of President Trump is OK, but saying "let's go Brandon" is hate speech that must be outlawed.  Rising, November 4.  I don't think much came of this.  Ridiculing celebrities and politicians has been going on a long time, especially in the 18th century. Tennessee Democrat says 'Let's Go, Brandon' equal to burning the flag | Fox News

  

I just discovered "Rising" today; it's aimed at young people, but I may take a look. "Rising is a weekday morning show with bipartisan hosts that breaks the mold of morning TV by taking viewers inside the halls of Washington power like never before. The show leans into the day's political cycle with cutting edge analysis from DC insiders who can predict what is going to happen. It also sets the day's political agenda by breaking exclusive news with a team of scoop-driven reporters and demanding answers during interviews with the country's most important political newsmakers." Today's story (Dec. 21) is about friendships and college education. There's a friendship gap between those with a college education and those who didn't attend.  I can't find a good way to post the video interview, so here is the story. The college connection: The education divide in American social and community life - The Survey Center on American Life (americansurveycenter.org)

A note from Christmas 2000--on abortion

 Came across a note I'd written to a friend in December 2000. We had been in a small group together through our church and had attended her wedding.  She and her husband had moved on later and we'd lost touch for awhile. (Now it's been 20 years and I have no idea where she is.) Sounds like today's case before the Supreme Court. This is the only part I'll share:

"This week I wrote the year-end checks to cover our tithe--we figured we were about $2500 short because we never know until the end of the year what our income is. So I made contributions to a Library in honor of Mom and Dad, Billy Graham, Lakeside, Cat Welfare (enclosed a photo of Lotza Spotza), Lutheran Bible Translators in support of the Toenjes family, Bible Literature International, and Pregnancy Decision Health Centers (anti-abortion). Keeping children alive and translating the Bible into new languages are the two most important of the group, as far as I'm concerned. Technically, Cat Welfare isn't a church tithe, but I think taking care of stray animals and not killing them is something Jesus would do, just as he wouldn't kill babies who arrive at inconvenient times.

I believe abortion is the defining issue of our time as was slavery 150 years ago. Each era has its problems it needs to solve. The difference is 150 years ago Christians (particularly women) were in the forefront trying to reverse a terrible crime against humanity, now women are the great perpetrators. The church just falls in line and tries to pretend it will go away if no one speaks out. The ethical standards of Christians seem to be no different than the rest of society."

Sonja loves snow

She was hoping for a white Christmas and she got one. We get very little snow in central Ohio, and only rarely on Christmas, but we had about 3 inches by 10 p.m. last night.  Sonja got her wish.  Our lights on our deck outside are buried, but muted.  And she’s thinking about her friends Ann and Phil.  Annie died of kidney cancer in February, and our Phil died of glioblastoma, brain cancer, in April. Sonja is in recovery from breast cancer.  As children they were all members of UALC, and their parents all are friends or ours.   Sonja spoke at Phil’s service in June at Gender Road Christian Church.

"It is so quiet and peaceful. . .what a blessed Christmas Eve, even as I have a few tears as I am sending love to my Annie and Phil in Heaven. Annie would be loving this snowfall, and Phil would be loving his Christmas tree.

Thank you God for this white Christmas, my soul needed it. . . kinda makes me want to dig out my little tree, and put it up, instead of continuing to bah humbug the festivities, but honestly, not decorating the inside of my house has kept me focused on the reason for the season, and I know it sounds strange, but it has made it really special to me."  (Facebook post, Dec. 25, 2020)  Photo is Phil and Sonja in February showing off their hair after chemo.

And yesterday, Christmas Eve, we also got a call from Keith, a friend of Phil's who has been under the weather with that nasty virus we've all been trying to avoid. He's almost completely recovered now. He was wonderful support for Phil and us when he was ill, and spoke at both the GRCC service in June and at Lakeside interment of ashes in August.

Keith and Phil in February

The doodle notebook

 I bought a 2021 calendar with full pages for each day, and thought it would make a nice "gratitude" notebook.  However, the notebook I was using (purchased by my daughter in 2009 for my birthday) was about to run out in early November.  Yesterday I saw at Marc's a smallish notebook on a shelf where it didn't belong, so I asked about the price.  $.99.  Just my price.  So I bought it, thinking I could finish out the year with it--no great loss if I didn't use the whole thing.  When I opened it today, to start using it tomorrow, I found that it has doodles every third page.  So I'll waste fewer pages than I thought, since I don't think I'll be doodling. I'll use it November 1 - December 31, and then start the 2021 notebook. 

  

With the lockdown for the pandemic, somedays it is difficult to write down three things I'm grateful for that happened the day before. However, October 30, was an easy one.  Our friends the Cranes invited us and Bruce and Marty (we used to be in a couples group with all of them) for dinner at their home, which is on a small lake created by a railroad company back in the 19th century.  It's called Hidden Lake, I think because we certainly never knew it was there until we met the Cranes about 15 years ago. At one time it was on the outskirts of Columbus, and a fishing club owned it.  A few people built small fishing shacks for summer use.  Over the years, beautiful homes replaced the little fishing "resort." The lots are long and narrow, and you can hardly see the homes or the lake from the main road. 

 Before dinner Rod made fresh onion rings in a cooker in their marvelous garage.  It may be the cleanest garage I'd ever seen--and Bob keeps a very clean garage.  In the garage was the Chris Craft wooden boat Rod has restored.  The night was chilly so the doors were open, and we all ate hot, fresh onion rings as our pre-dinner treat.  Off their family room they have a 3 season room, all windows, that overlooks the little lake, and we could hear the trains going by.  Judi served sliced steak on a salad bed of lettuce, onions and grilled peppers. For dessert she served warm apple pie with a crumb topping and cinnamon ice cream. 

After dinner we gathered in the family room with a fire in the fireplace. Truly a lovely evening with a lot to be thankful for.  Good friends, good food, good home.  And I didn't have to do any of the preparation! Yes, a lovely evening with much gratitude even during the horrible year, 2020.

Lakeside sadness

At Lakeside, although we only see our neighbors for about 10 weeks (if we're owners) we become close because walking together to church, or programs, watching sunsets and having neighborhood get togethers bring us together more frequently than neighbors at "home." We've had some sad times here on our block (7 homes). Jan's niece whom we remember as a visiting teen died at 43; John and Katie's daughter-in-law died at 49; our son died at 51; and last week Claude's wife died of Alzheimer's.

Annie’s gone, but we’ll see her again

She was 48 with a husband and children and a large family of parents, brothers and sister, and many nieces and nephews. Her cancer was very advanced when they found it, but she battled far longer than anyone expected.  I’m sad about Annie, I haven't seen a firm confirmation, but I think she died a few hours after her brother arrived yesterday and the whole family gathered in her hospice room. I'm crying, yes, but the sadness is more for us. Our little family. Perhaps that's selfish, but I know her mother would understand.  We’ve wept together. They've had a year more than they thought was possible, and I pray we have that, too. Ann's kids are teens, and sometimes teens need their moms more than babies do who eat sleep and poop as some say. It's such a confusing time in life.

I watched my dad after his mother's funeral (he was 70) and knew then there was never a good time to be an orphan. Not 7 and not 70.  But he was 83 when his sister (my aunt Marion) died and he sobbed and sobbed in the back of the room at the funeral home away from everyone. Big tough Marine. All my high school dates were afraid of him.  He said  because she was the oldest girl, she was the "little mother" of all the other 8. It still makes me cry to think of it; she was always there to welcome me home.

We know we're all in God's care, we're baptized, we've made a personal commitment, but the other side is still scary because we don't know what to expect. Like the baby in the womb--we suspect there's something else, we can hear music, talking, feel movement, we wiggle our toes and touch our nose--but it seems so unrealistic to think there's more than we know floating around with everything taken care of.

There is.

Christmas cheer

I received the most delightful Christmas letter today from a friend with ALS. She is focusing on living, not dying. She's so thankful to be in her specially equipped home with home health aides and doing ordinary things we take for granted like attending church and shopping and getting her hair styled because she was in nursing care for awhile after aspiration pneumonia.

Her friends visit, call, send cards, bring gifts and send flowers, and her husband is with her.

Thanks for an uplifting message, old friend.

Reflection on Exodus 17:8-13, with apologies to Moses.

In those days, Cancer came and waged war against Phil's brain. Phil Bruce therefore said to his medical posse, "Pick out the best you have--surgeons, nurses, therapists, med techs, hematologists, cardiologists, radiologists--and go out and engage Cancer in battle. I will be standing on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hand."

So the posse did as Phil told them: they engaged Cancer in battle after Phil had climbed to the top of the hill with his family Norma, Bob, Phoebe and Mark. As long as Phil kept his hands raised up, his body had the better of the fight, but when he let his hands rest, the Cancer had the better of the fight.

Phil's hands grew tired so they put a rock, his church, in place for him to sit on. Meanwhile, his family, extended family and close friends--Ron, Keith, Carl, Tom, John, Sara, and many others-- supported his hands, some on one side, some on the other side so he remained steady till sunset. And the medical posse mowed down the Cancer and tumors with the edge of medical miracles swords.

A different sort of Mother's Day

We had a wonderful time with the Halls and Mallettes from California (we met in Scotland in 2017) touring our great city, the OSU campus, enjoying 2 great museums, the new National Veterans Memorial and Museum and the Columbus Museum of Art, the OSU main library, historic German Village and eating at Schmidt's Sausage House and Cap City Fine Diner. We get to rest today, but they are touring for 2 more weeks! Robin thinks up the ideas and Gene plans the itinerary. Today they are off to Falling Water, Gettysburg, Niagara Falls, the 9-11 memorial and other sites. We ended the day with a peaceful evening and dessert at our home, looking through Bob's paintings and sharing stories and memories.

January was more social than usual

December is always a fun month with lots of special activities like concerts, dinners and get togethers. So in noting our January schedule, I see it was more social than usual, mostly church activities, but a nice members' opening at the Museum of Art, too. I'll jot down what I remember while listening to a Dvorak Cello Concerto on a Spectrum channel--no commercials.

January 6--We hosted our SALT group here on Epiphany after church--I served turkey Tetrazzini  fruit cups and assorted Christmas desserts, so I was able to use up both our Thanksgiving and Christmas left-overs.  We're studying Hebrews, and Bob was the leader.

January 7--Book club at Bethel Presbyterian Church,  "The Other Alcott," by Elise Hooper, and although I didn't care much for the selection, it's always a great discussion and this included a lot of art. I joined 18 years ago when I first retired in 2000.  Originally, the club was a group of young mothers from the Clintonville area of Columbus who attended the same church.  Now they are no longer working or taking care of kids (most are grandmothers) and we meet during the day instead of the evening.

January 9--Coffee with Adrienne, who is now living at Wesley Glen.  Weather problems have been interfering with our coffee time!

January 10--Bible study class at 10:30 for mostly retirees and seniors led by Pastor Jeff Morlock. We're doing Revelation which works well with the Saturday group study of Genesis--lots of references to Genesis. That was followed by lunch and a wonderful talk by John Kohan of Delaware, Ohio, discussing his sacred art collection   http://sacredartpilgrim.com/

January 12--In January I "returned" to three different Bible studies (Thursday, Saturday and Sunday) at our church that I've attended at various times over the years. It's easy to spend time inside and not see many people, so I'm making a greater effort to get out.  Women of the Word on Saturday is led by Mary Jo and is using Jen Wilken, "God of Creation, a study of Genesis."  She's an excellent speaker (video plus workbook).

January 13--Also returned to Adult Sunday School taught by Charlie, who is very good--well prepared, great prayers, kind, and keeps us on track.  We're studying Acts.

January 17--Dinner at Windward Passage on Henderson Rd.  with Joan and Jerry and Joyce and Bill.  Joan, Joyce and I are making plans for the 2009 reunion of our Steps of Paul voyage, and we don't have a list, but are contacting everyone we remember.  It will be at our MR campus on March 3.  After dinner we came back here for chocolate pie.

January 22--We attended the Columbus AIA meeting downtown to learn about the building and recent renovation of the LeVeque Tower here in Columbus.  I used to work there in the 1980s for the Ohio Department of Aging. It's now a boutique hotel, apartments and condos with businesses on the first level.  Our Conestoga group will tour it in March. I'm looking forward to that now that we've heard how it was done.  Figuring out where to park and getting back to the parking garage in the dark was an adventure in itself.

January 23--Coffee with Adrienne at Panera's. We had to cancel the next one due to the cold (polar vortex)

January 25--Met with Steve DeWeese, our lawyer, to settle wills, power of health attorney and health directives. He's a member of our church, a few years older than our children, and he knows them.

January 25--Bobby Burns party at the Hahm's--always a great event. This birthday is celebrated all over the world.  There are instructions on the internet on how to do it, and what to serve. We wore our kilts--Bob got his as Christmas 2017 gifts from the family for his 2018 80th birthday. His was horribly expensive because it included a formal jacket, special socks, a knife, and a sporran. Mine was really cheap--$3.00 at Volunteers of America.  I had to set the buttons over, but it's probably the nicest wool I've ever owned. Having dinner parties is like a ministry for the Hahms and they have many each year, always with an interesting mix of people.

January 26--Funeral at UALC for Jon Brewer, a friend of Phil's from childhood, and he came with many of his high school friends, most of whom I wouldn't have recognized, but did remember some of the names.

January 26--SALT group at the Crosses.  We got there a little late because of the 2 p.m.  funeral, but it lasted a long time--we didn't get home until about 6:30. Carol led the study on Hebrews and it was excellent.

January 27--Chili-cook off at St. James Lutheran off of Trabue Rd on the west side--preceded by a combined choir concert of St. James and UALC Lytham Rd. choirs.  Beautiful old sanctuary, 19th century, with a recent (about 10 years ago) educational and social wing.  I can remember when it was the only building out there. Now it's surrounded by housing and shopping centers. We went with Howard and Betty from our SALT group.

January 28--Coffee with Nancy at 5 points Panera. They left Friday for their Florida break.

January 29--Got a new perm from Melissa at Shear Impressions.  I think I've been with her since the mid-1990s.  She and her mom used to go to UALC but are now at a downtown church.

January 31--Member preview party at the Columbus Museum of Art, Derby Court, light hors d'oeuvres, lecture by Peter Schoon, Director of the Dordrecht Museum, Netherlands. "Life in the Age of Rembrandt: Dutch Masterpieces from the Dordrecht Museum." It's a wonderful show and I'd recommend it.  That was our second night in the dark in downtown Columbus in January.  And it was very cold both nights.  I did see a few women other than me in a dress/skirt, however, the others all had knee high boots or leggings.

Condo Christmas party

We had a wonderful Christmas party/progressive dinner with our neighbors last night. Such fun and delightful people.

Nothing ruins a relationship like politics

On Facebook, Christopher Buckley writes:

“It has long been my dour and sour view that you don't get to make good friends later in life because they don't have the same background or share the same experiences as the ones you've had with old friends... Well, my best friends died. (From living large. We should all be so lucky.)

Other friends, shockingly, have unfriended me because I believe in reason and they, passionately, in unthinking madness.

But I will tell you now that I was very wrong about what the length of a friendship means.

I am very glad to know everyone I have met here on this platform along the way and on my life's journey...

We expire... That's the deal.

So fill your barrels as you sail on... Life is a continuum... (funny if you know me IRL) and we will be cruising these waters until the end! XOXO