Floor lamp update

New Year's Resolution number 5 was to buy a floor lamp. I've now visited four stores, so yesterday I stopped at a large builders supply chain, which will remain nameless, because I like the store. I stopped there after my mail run to the church's suburban location, telling the return campus receptionist I'd be about 15 minutes late. After browsing the shelves, I settled on one not-as-ugly-as-the-others, which had two lights--a 100 watt that reflected on the ceiling and a movable arm with a squirrely, low energy bulb that was supposed to be "full spectrum" to help with reading. The box in 3 languages was explicit about that low energy bulb--13 watts. All I could find on the shelf was a 15, so I lugged the box, now getting a bit heavy, to the service desk. Two handsome young people looked quite blank when I told them the problem, and the young woman got on her cell phone and called someone. Many older people think sales staff are being rude or ageist, but I suspect they just know nothing or aren't trained. Then the woman-child said, "He first has to cut some wire for another customer than he can help you." I stood in the light bulb aisle about 10 minutes, then returned the box to the shelf. No one came.

Usually, the only people in these warehouse supply places who know anything are the gray haired part-timers who have retired from something else, got tired of golf and want to get away from their wives' honey-do list. Also, I suspect there has been a serious staff cut back, because I've never had a problem at this store getting help.

All was not lost, however. I stopped at the Discovery Shop (cancer donations) because occasionally entire rooms of furniture are donated (a truck was there). No floor lamps, and the clerk said they go fast. She knew exactly what I was looking for. But I did find a beautiful pair of navy blue velvet jeans which look unworn for $5. Not a lamp, but they are a reminder that I need to stay with my exercise program (was a size 8 last year, these are size 10), New Year's Resolution 6.

Floor lamp saga

Regular readers know that one of my New Year's Resolutions is to stop sitting in the dark, straining my eyes. I'm on the prowl for a floor lamp, one my mother would love, and my husband will probably hate. When I find the lamp, different from all the rest, I'm going to christen it, "Olive the other floor lamps." Hey! After 48 years, I think our marriage is secure. So yesterday about 4 p.m., while husband is watching his 97th football game of the Christmas New Year season:

"Would you like to go shopping for a floor lamp now? I saw a new store about 2 miles from here."

"No, that's OK. You go."

Ten minutes later Norma walks into a contemporary furnishings store on Bethel Road.

"May I help you find something."

Gulping down her shock and surprise at the woman's slovenly, ready-for-the-trail-ride appearance, "Yes, I'm looking for a floor lamp. Do you know how much wattage this lamp uses?" The tag didn't say, and there was one tiny bulb in it, but it did work. The price was $115, which I thought was reasonable because it was a very nice design.

Slovenly saleslady earns points by admitting she knows nothing about the lamp, but would check the catalog. Meanwhile Norma browses. There are floor lamps that look like three giant mushrooms stacked atop each other; there are floor lamps that spiral; there are floor lamps that swing out 25 ft. or so like bending broken cherry pickers on a windy day; there are biblical floor lamps that hide their lights under a bushel.

Saleslady returns, and says as her chin stud sparkles in the wavering light of weird and bizarre lamps, "It will take a total of 125 watts, with 2 bulbs."

It would hurt too much to look at her pretty face which she has mangled with a variety of holes, so Norma mumbles to saleslady's combat boots, "Thank you, but I need something a bit brighter."

After a spin through Marshall's which only had table lamps, and K-Mart which had floor lamps in boxes, one a "natural light" with a goose neck for close sewing that might be a possibility if hidden in the corner, she returns home to husband who hasn't moved from his lounge chair and the football game.

Happy New Year!

Originally, I had 13 New Year's Resolutions finished for Thursday Thirteen, which upon rereading them, sounded about as interesting as "I promise to clip my toe nails," and "I will brush the cat twice a year." So I deleted the entire post (after printing it and putting it in my desk drawer). But I will share #5, as it was just about the most interesting, plus I told the group at Bill and Joyce's party last night, so they'll probably all ask us about it.

5. Buy a floor lamp for the living room.

Back story: About 25 years ago, my sweet, non-critical mother said on one of her visits, "Don't you think it's a little dim in here?" For 48 years I've lived in poorly lit spaces as some sort of concession to living with an architect, and we have different tastes in decor. The result of this is, if we don't both fall in love with something, we don't buy it. Look through any decorating or architectural magazine and you might see table lamps, but rarely floor lamps. If you want to know why, try googling the term "floor lamps" and then click on "images." Ugly your name is floor lamp. I want one or two like the 1930s style my parents had--a center bulb in an open globe with three naked side light blubs, all gently enfolded in a nice silky shade--preferably with cellophane to protect from dust.

Floor lamps spread and diffuse light--they don't throw and bounce it. Designers love track lights, floods, and buried can lights, all of which I hate, hate, hate. We also are cheap--keep what comes with the house, which is why we had funny glass baubles ca. 1940 over the 1960's modern dining room table on Abington, and why we have its first cousin from Woolworth in our hall here at the condo. Jim Tuthill, the carpet cleaner, commented on the hall fixture when he was here on Tuesday. He had something similar in his house rescued from an old theater in downtown Columbus when he worked there as a janitor. The previous owner took her fixture with her, and I think this one was in the basement.

Anyway, I'm getting too old to sit in the dark and squint to read. The older you get, the better light you need, even if it shows your wrinkles. Which may be why my Mom waited until her 60s to say anything. With my new glasses and better lighting, I may be able to keep resolution #2 which is to read one chapter a day in my 10 volume Westminster Pulpit, a collection of the sermons from 1906-1916 of G. Cambell Morgan. I got a set for Christmas.