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10 writing tips

Excess verbiage

Because verbiage is by definition an excess of words, the phrases excess verbiage and excessive verbiage are redundant.  Notice this example from a writing guide at George Mason University, and also the examples provided. All too wordy and pretentious.

Excess verbiage
Effective writing requires elimination of excess verbiage. The value of concise writing is stated in quotes below from some noted authors.
‘The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.’ Hans Hoffman
‘Often I think writing is sheer paring away of oneself leaving always something thinner, barer, more meager.’ F. Scott Fitzgerald
‘I believe more in the scissors that I do in the pencil.’ Truman Capote
One technique for eliminating excess verbiage is to scrutinize a wordy passage, underline those phrases that contain hard information, and then rewrite the passage using only the underlined portions.

The photo album

Last night I e-mailed a photographer from Wisconsin asking permission to use his photo as a reference for a painting, and he graciously responded OK (very interesting photos from all over the world). Then I decided I needed a special folder for this, because I ask and then forget where I saved them. When I changed computers about a year ago, my e-mail didn't transfer. Sooo....one thing led to another and I started moving other files--it began to take on a life of its own--like when I clean my real office. Then I came across this story, written in November 2004 for NaNoWrMo. When I write fiction, I have no middle or ending in mind, only the first sentence, so I wrote what came to mind, saved it, and didn't reopen it for five years. At this point, the inspiration is gone, but here it is.

Paula Bearfoot. I knew her the minute I saw the old photos glued to the page of the crumbling scrapbook laid out on the table at the reunion. I’d seen her photo a few times back in 1959, and the scrapbook was from the 50s--the kind with the ugly black paper. Something like a shoestring provided the flimsy binding.

How prissy the girls all looked then in black and white glossies, caught and preserved by a little Brownie Kodak. Neat, straight, pencil thin wool skirts, a short sleeve sweater with stitching on the sleeves, a white collar “dickey,” and white anklets in saddle shoes. What pride they took in their appearance. Oh, the wasted hours in front of the mirror. Leafing through the album, I realized somewhat belatedly that teen-agers weren’t fat then, they didn’t wear jeans when trying to impress guys, and they wore way too much lipstick. I looked around the room. Times had certainly changed. Fat mamas, all. Pale lips. At least no jeans.

P-B they called her. With a name like Bearfoot, she probably got a lot of questions. I mean, I would’ve asked--if I’d known her. What do you suppose she answered? Did she make up something clever or tell the truth? Did anyone ever hear the truth from PB? She was my husband's steady. Even at the reunion, he heard of yet another guy who had dated “his” girl. Even after 40 years, I felt just a little sorry for him.

No one had seen her since college. No one knew where her family had moved. Did she even finish college? Occasionally, letters were read at these every decade affairs. No one seemed to remember exactly what they said when I inquired, discreetly of course. She was a social worker. She was a lawyer. She was a secretary. She’d never married. She married three times. Her step-daughter was in the Clinton administration. Her sister had drowned in Hawaii. She lived in Maine. She lived in Arizona. The stories were told in such an off-hand, quasi-authoritative way, I just gave up.

The guy who owned the photo album looked carefully at her pictures. “I think I dated her,” he said, “or maybe her sister. June? Julie?” (371 words)

And that's all I wrote. NaNoWrMo should have been a natural for me, but it means writing on command (it's sort of a contest to write a novel in one month), and nothing will kill my inspiration like someone telling what, when, where or how to write.

First have something to say

Roy Tennant doesn’t know me, doesn’t read my blog, but I can identify, except I still think people need to have something to say before they e-mail, twitter or blog. I think from this post below, he’s decided everyone has something to say. I talk to a lot of people face to face, I read a lot, I’m on a bunch of lists; and sorry Roy, many have nothing to say at all about anything, but they never shut up. Some are college professors, some are on medication for brain disorders. Others can verbally express themselves, but their writing looks like my tennis or swimming (awful). Recently (in e-mail) my childhood friend Carol asked how could I find the time to read and write as much as I do. Everyone finds time to do what they enjoy--whether it’s attending board (bored) meetings, trying new recipes, walking 5 miles a day, training dogs, or collecting Annaco ceramic cats. It’s not about time, it’s not even about discipline. Here‘s Roy--a very good prolific writer and one with whom I frequently disagree:

"I write a lot. Some might say too much. I write Twitter updates, e-mails, electronic discussion messages, blog posts, journal articles, books, and this "glacial blog" where I post maybe twice a year. I think about writing a lot. Some might say too much. And I have something to say about it.

A colleague I greatly respect has said of writing "First, have something to say." At first this seems like complete wisdom, and for years it made total sense to me. But as I have thought more about it, I have become very uncomfortable with it. So I want to take this one post of my twice-a-year-blog to refute this statement since I think it potentially undermines potential writers at their most vulnerable point.” See if you agree with him no specific link but page says May 21, 2009

Generate your own jargon

With just a click, this little ap will provide the verb, adjective and noun you'll need to write that important grant proposal, or just stupify your friends. Educational Jargon Generator. I saw it at Joanne Jacobs blog and she saw it somewhere else. I've seen print versions for political speeches.

I wonder if Joe Morgenstern uses something like this to write his film reviews for WSJ? Friday he reviewed "There will be blood." As usual, by the time I worked my way through the complicated phrasing and multiple layers of performances by which actor played who in other films I didn't see, I had no idea why Daniel Day Lewis should have an Oscar for this. Four and five clauses per sentence using commas and dashes followed by parentheses just make my eyes swim.

The clutter challenge

A friend and I are challenging each other to remove some of the clutter from our homes and lives. We both have a problem clearing books and magazines--we like to send them on to a second life away from us. The following list has now gone to the garage; they are inside boxes that I have taped shut. If I peek, I might be talked out of it. The next step is to get them into the van, then off to the Friends of the Library book sale.

In general, there are two categories: computer books that are too old to be useful, and books on the craft of or compilations of the short story. I did a lot of writing of fiction in the early 90s. It was great fun, and I enjoy going back and reading them today (especially since I don't remember how they end!). However, I never did follow the experts' instructions, and barely opened the books (all bought used). Here's my good-bye blog.

How computers work, by Ron White, 1993.
PC Novice Guide to computing basics, 1996.
PC Novice guide to the Internet, 1996.
Handbook of short story writing, 1970.
Beginning writer's answer book, rev. 1987.
Handbook of short story writing, vol. 2, 1988.
Children's writer's word book. 1992.
Ways of reading; an anthology for writers. 4th ed. 1996.
This is my best, Whit Burnett ed. 1942.
Prize stories 1983 O. Henry awards.
Short stories from the New Yorker, c. 1940.
Great expectations, by Dickens, pb 2nd ed. 1948, 1972.
Kiplinger's retire and thrive, 1995.
Testimonies, a novel. Patrick O'Brian, c 1952, pb ed. 1995.

While I was selecting the books, I also cleaned out tons of paper that I'd printed from the internet--there was a whole shopping bag, much of it over 10 years old. Over the past week I also cleaned some bathroom vanity drawers, four drawers in the kitchen, two under-cabinets in my office, cleared out and stored elsewhere my old notebooks and publications, took a load of winter clothes to church for the Hilltop Clothes Closet, and cleaned out one drawer of my desk.

So what's cluttering up your life that could go into storage?

Adverbosity

I'm a sucker for qualifiers--"sort of," "rather," "just," "quite," and "too." And I'm crazy for dashes. Every editor wants to chop my adverbs. Zinsser says,

"Most adverbs are unnecessary. You will clutter your sentence and annoy the reader if you choose a verb that has a precise meaning and then add an adverb that carries the same meaning. . . "blared loudly," "mostly flabbergasted," and "moped dejectedly."

But then, Zinsser doesn't think much of adjectives, either--"stately elms," "frisky kittens" and "hard-bitten detectives.' He likes strong verbs. At nHumanities it was suggested

"Kill the modifiers. This is machete work, so wrap a bandanna around your face and grab some shop goggles. No reader is going to believe that your process is innovative or your product is world-class just because you say so, so kill those adjectives. Don’t feel sorry for them. They have no feelings."

So I struggled with film critic Joe Morgenstern's article today on Dan in Real Life, and the new Jimmy Carter documentary. There were so many adverbs (and adjectives), I was mostly and dejectedly flabbergasted.

strives desperately
romantically involved (if a man and woman are involved, doesn't that mean romantically?)
awfully heartily (adverb modifying an adverb--double whammy)
singularly unpleasant
notoriously homely
inexplicably awful
terribly tedious
extremely small (how about tiny?)
quite disarmingly
genuinely sweet

unquenchably energetic
singular passion
slightly stooped
essentially undiminished
mostly calm
patiently didactic
uncomfortably admiring advertisement
narrowly focused
mostly uncritical view
uncritical but not unaffecting
peregrinating conscience (I had to look this one up--means traveling)

Whew! Is it just me? Maybe he's British. They like their sentences fully and heartily packed.