1146 Here comes the bride. . .who?

I went to a wedding today. The groom is a friend--his wife died about two years ago. I was sitting with a guy from our church, and he didn't know the groom but knew the bride. I'd never met the bride, had never heard her name until receiving the invitation, but I'd heard our friend talk about her. Can't remember exactly the last time we talked, but apparently the situation changed some. Actually, a lot. As the bride and groom processed, following their children and grandchildren down the aisle, it was a different woman. Boy, was I surprised.

1145 Talking to Number One

Here's your chance to follow Michael follow around the number one guy on his "talk to list", the Command Sergeant Major of Coalition Forces in Iraq. Michael Yon online.

1144 Will the liberals change?

Rob Paulsson is just an ordinary guy blogging at Shiningright.com. He's finished an analysis of Paul Starr’s gloomy American Prospect article, “The Liberal Project Now.” He concludes that there is a cottage industry of liberals who disagree with Starr‘s assessment:

“The presidential election in 2008 will put this thesis [that the last two presidential elections were flukes] to the test. For the first time since 1968 the race will not include an incumbent president or vice president which should make it evenly matched. If the Democrats win the White House with a left of center candidate, Starr's obituary of American liberalism will be proved premature. If, on the other hand, Republicans win again it will be increasingly difficult for the left to sustain its belief that there really is a progressive majority in America just waiting for the chance to express itself electorally.”

Starr wrote: “The liberal project of the post–World War II era was to awaken the public to long-ignored problems, to make liberal government bolder, and to get its leaders to take political risks. In the public mind, liberalism was the innovative and outward-looking force in American politics; conservatism, the stodgy and parochial source of resistance. Under those circumstances, liberals had power to the extent that they could bring about change, while conservatives had power to the extent that they could stop it.

Now the relationships have been reversed, and liberalism risks getting defined, as conservatism once was, entirely in negative terms. Liberals certainly need to defend liberal accomplishments and oppose conservative measures, but they cannot allow themselves to become merely defensive and oppositional. That, of course, is how the right would like to cast them. The liberal challenge today is to avoid this trap, to make the case for liberalism’s first principles, and to renew the project of liberal innovation.”

Starr is a good writer, as Paulsson points out. Yes, that’s sort of how I remember the 60s and 70s and being a Democrat. Positive change. And the right isn’t just “casting them as defensive“--they are defensive and oppositional. Name one positive thing a Democrat has proposed about Social Security reform, or education, or health care, or illegal immigration? What’s their solution for Iraq--withdraw so we can have as many Iraqis murdered as Vietnamese back in the 70s when we withdrew and left our allies to be slaughtered? "Death and taxes"--could be the party‘s motto.

Other than abortion, which in a weird way reduces the problem, what comes up consistently in every election? Fewer babies = fewer old people. Even in the “old” days I was never pro-abortion--I always stepped away from the party on that one. It’s just too hard to bury two of your children and then watch other women throwing theirs into slop pails, even if it did take me 30 years to call it quits with the party. Call me Mommy One Note, but it just became the party of death, disaster and dread by making abortion a key plank in every platform.

1143 Changing the Template

If you ever visit this site and get some sort of message about not being available, or Norma is dead or something, I'm probably changing the template. This takes much more time than posting. When I've finally settled on something, deposited the correct html, previewed it and then hit "publish," it grinds through the back room of blogger.com very slowly, blinking 0%, then 2% then 10% and it may hover over 99% for awhile. So I've developed a list of tasks that can be completed (one, not all), because a watched template never loads.

1. Reheat my coffee.
2. Floss.
3. Put a load in the dryer.
4. Brush up cat hair from the couch.
5. Wipe off kitchen counter.
6. Load cereal bowls in dish washer.
7. Reposition my artificial hydrangea blooms (outside my office window on a real bush).
8. Go around and turn out lights I've left on.
9. Blow dry the kink in my hair, just above the right ear.
10. Scoop the kitty litter.

I'm sure you could add to this list. Feel free. This morning I drug a kicking and screaming (metaphorically, because I had an html problem) Jesuit to my growing list of blogging instructions. Fr. Japes I think is his name, but I've called it "Blogging Religiously."

1142 So much for "confidentiality"

The Chief and his clerks gather for a reunion, maybe their last, but a reporter is there to ease them through breaking their vows of confidentiality.

"The bond between Supreme Court justices and their law clerks is forged from shared in-chambers experiences that are as confidential as they are intense. Half a dozen sources who agreed to discuss the event with The Washington Post cited that relationship in insisting on anonymity." WaPo

1141 We knew this, didn't we?

A writer who claims to be a teacher (lecturer) at Northwestern, Bill Savage, has proudly admitted to the bias, evangelizing and missionary zeal of the left in the college classrooms of America. And they think there's a problem at the Air Force Academy?

"I don't need to have kids to create mini-me voters: I get classrooms full of other people's kids, most already of voting age. And I'm not alone. As right-wing hysterics have recently noticed, universities in America are dominated by lefties like me." Here's a link to a link, because I don't want the scrummy page on my links.

The whole article sounds like a vicious hoax to discredit leftist professors to me--especially the illustration that looks like paper doll clothes for a farm kid, complete with red meat stamped USDA, and the WWJD baseball cap. No left wing nut is that stupid. . . OK. Maybe there is a real Bill Savage, I mean, we know he's real because if you've been on any university campus or sent your kids off to college, you know he's real. But I mean really real, as in a flesh and blood human being with identification and credentials that will soon be pulled.

1140 Friday Feast 52

Appetizer
What's one word or phrase that you use a lot?
“For Pete’s sake,” (also "for pity's sake") and “by Jove,” both of which are substitutes for swearing, but I didn’t know that when I picked them up from my mother.

Soup
Name something you always seem to put off until the last minute.
I’m pretty bad about returning phone calls, or calling to make or change appointments.

Salad
What was the last great bumper sticker you saw?
I heard about one yesterday, but didn't see it. Rush had just done a stinging report on Durbin whining about Hummers slurping gasoline (the implication being it was Bush's fault, war for oil, etc.). A caller reported that he was on the free-way following a Hummer with a Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker.

Main Course
If you could be invisible for one day, how would you spend your time?
I would follow President Bush around, just to see if he is as evil as the Dems think and to learn if Karl Rove is really running the country.

Dessert
Describe your hair.
I have medium brown hair with blond highlights, short, wavy, with bangs. All of this is thanks to Melissa, my hair dresser. Only the slight waviness is natural.

1139 Do the math

"Wal-Mart wields its power for just one purpose: to bring the lowest possible prices to its customers." Fast Company article about pickles

Why do the anti-success people give Wal-Mart such a hard time? I'm really sick of it. Always whining about their employment practices, benefits, size and quality of merchandise. This guy from Limited/Victoria Secret quoted at CircuiTree (have no idea what this is--Google found it) has it all wrong:

"Is a $100 Victoria's Secret bra ten times better than a $10 one from WalMart? Sure it has better fabric and better stitching, but how is it that it could be ten times better? It's worth it if it makes the wearer feel special.... Remember, we are trying to get beyond mere money math. Spend $100 on giving your wife ten WalMart bras for Valentine's Day, and what have you given her? Grounds for divorce."

I would love to buy $100 of Wal-Mart bras. I have six of them, costing $2.50 each, and bought them back in the late 1990s. Eventually they will wear out, and I'll have to wear one of those God-awful things 1) lined in foam or 2) girded with metal tubing and stays, or 3) cut from stretch t-shirt fabric with the support of a butterfly's wing. The women of the mid-19th century fought a battle to get out of stays and corsets, and now the women of the 21st century meekly submit to these torture instruments. I'm guessing the designers are misogynists.

I checked at Wal-Mart the other day, and they are still there for $2.50--or it looks like the same design--at that price there is no foam and no metal. However, I tried one on and the design has changed ever so slightly--probably to compete with the $100 name-brand kind (also made off-shore). I wasn't fooled. However, if I ever decide I want everything shifted backwards and resettled under my arm pits, I know where to go for a bargain.

1138 Is it a sack race if it's not burlap?

My eye caught the color photo on the front page of our community paper of three children in a summer recreation program participating in a "sack race." In plastic bags! I was horrified. Everyone knows you must have a gunnysack for a sack race. And I don't mean those teensy imposters made of high tech fabric that walkers strap around their middles. Real gunnysacks are made of burlap or jute. They have advertising. They are stinky from half rotten potatoes. They are dirty and the crude falls in your shoes. They scratch the heck out of your legs, naked in summer shorts, so that you hop even faster to get it over with. At least, that's how I remember it. Plastic bags indeed!

1137 The Democrat's Diversity Dilemma

Ruben Navarrette Jr. writes in his syndicated column about his frustration of being either deferential or defective in the eyes of the Democratic Party. He also appears occasionally on radio discussing Chicano/Latino issues. Bio.

"So this is the Democrats' dilemma. How are they supposed to market themselves to minorities as the one-and-only party of opportunity when Bush is putting nonwhite faces in high places? Better to try to paint the Republican Party as a restricted club, as Democratic Party Chairman Howard Dean did recently when he described the GOP as "pretty much a white Christian party." And minority Republicans as aberrations.

I bet all this would come as news to Janice Rogers Brown, who attends church regularly. Just as I bet it would come as news to Miguel Estrada, the Hispanic gentleman who, at one point, seemed headed for the D.C. appeals court for which Brown is now confirmed — until his nomination was unfairly derailed by rank racial politics.

Estrada is a top-shelf Washington lawyer who had, after coming to the United States from Honduras and graduating with honors from Columbia University and Harvard Law School, worked as an assistant U.S. attorney and an assistant solicitor general. Yet none of that prepared Estrada for the meat grinder of the judicial confirmation process. Before long, Estrada was — in an experience that must have seemed surreal to him at the time — fending off accusations from white Democrats that he "wasn't Hispanic enough." That was Estrada's defect. It was also complete nonsense."

Article here.

1136 What, me worry?

Usually, I record my coffee shop observations over at Coffee Spills And I'll probably double post this one, but it made me laugh. Hope you like it.

"Are you worried about something?" the friendly clerk inquired when the woman picking up coffee while her husband waited outside in the car mentioned that she hadn't slept well last night. "No, nothing," she shook her head with a puzzled expression. Then added, "Well, I have one daughter having a baby and the other is getting married."

Gracious, lady, I'd be tossing and turning too, and you don't know why you're lying awake staring at the shadows on the ceiling counting all the what ifs . . .?

1135 Vanity, your name is. . . man!

You're not going to see these stats on just any blog, so it's my responsibility to inform you. Since 1997 there has been a 385% increase in tummy tucks for men (343% for women); a 932% increase in lower body lifts for men (583% for women); a 1409% increase in buttock lifts for men (262% for women); a 1489% increase in thigh lifts for men (349% for women); and a whopping 8977% increase in upper arm lifts for men (551% for women).

Upper arm lift? I didn't even know they existed, yet 17,052 procedures were performed in 2004 and 10,595 in 2003 (total, both sexes). I wondered how some of these do-wop stars still looked so good on stage at Lakeside.

All figures from American Society for Aesthetic Plastic SurgeryStatistics, 2004

1134 Tonight's Finger Foods

Our condo association is having the Spring party tonight, and instead of a dish to pass like the fall event, each unit brings finger foods (appetizers). I don't have a lot of success with this, and PJ's recipe blog is on hiatus, so I googled a few things. Found a yummy taco dip, but it looked so good I thought I'd be camping by the table eating it all evening. So instead, I made a delicious fruit dip and will serve it with fresh fruit of the season. It looks very pretty and festive. Here's the simple recipe.

1 8 oz. package of cream cheese
1/2 cup sour cream
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
1-2 tablespoons maple syrup
Fresh fruit

Combine cream cheese, sour cream, sugars and syrup; beat until smooth. Chill until serving. Serve with fruit. Yield: 2 cups.

My serving plate has the built in dip container, and it wouldn't hold quite 2 cups, so I'm eating it right now with some sliced apples. Yummy. For the fruit I'm using large red strawberries, cantaloupe and white grapes, alternating, so it is very pretty. I used Splenda and sugar-free syrup, and I suppose you could use low-fat cream cheese and sour-cream, but I didn't.

It costs more and takes more time than making my fabulous, world famous pie, but they didn't want that. Oh well.

1133 Women Blogging

Remember when I was complaining maybe a year ago I couldn't find good women bloggers so I started my own category of links, Ladies First? Everytime I'd sign up for something, I felt like I'd walked into a men's locker room. That has obviously changed--or I'm just finding them. There's a new group and their Third Cotillion Ball is at Darleen's Place. She shares hosting duties this week with Right Girl and Denita of Who Tends the Fires. Brief summaries with a link. Interesting stuff. Sweet smellin'.

1132 Battlefield Access

It's not hard to get access in Iraq writes Michael Yon.

"A journalist not wishing to embed with US forces is free to apply for an Iraqi visa, fly to Baghdad, and hire a car and an interpreter who can drive them around town. They can knock on doors and talk directly with people; visit hospitals, talk with doctors; stop by the side of the road and talk with shepherds; or even hang out in a village and help make the goat cheese. Iraqi people are generally polite and usually more than willing to offer opinions about what's happening in their neighborhood.

Of course, the major problem with eschewing a close military presence is the enemy's proclivity to kidnap and behead journalists whose reports portray insurgents in a negative or violent way. This puts ethical journalists in a tight spot where they have the freedom to roam but not to report the truth; whereas journalists who embed with US forces often report very negatively. I recall the stories of one magazine writer in Baquba who spent days looking for disgruntled soldiers—of course she found them—and wrote negatively. The same writer came to Mosul. The soldiers may not like people who do this, but they certainly will not behead them. Whether reporters elect to travel with the military or to go it alone, the fact is that any journalist who wants battlefield access will find it in Iraq."

1131 The Jackson Family Circus

Even ignoring this story as I have done, yesterday it was difficult to turn on the TV and not find breathless anticipation and nonsensical speculation. Is it just me, or did the media get this one about as right as it gets the Iraq stories? Do they just talk to each other for spin?

"In one fell swoop, the jury rendered its verdict and acquitted Michael Jackson of all charges. The aftermath of the verdict from a media perspective is stunning. Journalists from more than 34 countries around the world had gathered around this small courthouse in Santa Maria, California, and had set up shop in makeshift tents. Print journalists, radio broadcasters, television anchors, cameras, crews, technicians, producers, bookers had all set up shop on the asphalt in the parking lot of the courthouse. You staked your claim to a piece of parking lot and called it home for several months. Yet immediately after the verdict was announced, the place started to empty. Crews packed up, journalists left, and the media began to leave town. The frenzy died down almost instantly." MSNBC Susan Filan

These high profile cases are ridiculous. I thought there wasn't enough evidence to convict Scott Peterson, but the jury hated him because he was scum, so he was guilty. Any other man in his forties inviting little boys to his home and sleeping with them would be guilty, but the jury hated the boy's idiot mother, so he is not guilty. I think my faith in the jury system would be stronger if they weren't allowed to interview the jury afterwards.

1130 Architectural Digest Cover

John McCain and his rich trophy wife are on the cover of this month's Architectural Digest. Even with the record of the Kennedys and the Clintons, I think the Democrats fare better in the marriage marathon. McCain's first wife Carol worked for his release all those years, hid from him her terrible health problems caused by an accident so he wouldn't worry in prison, and then he drops her and marries within the month. Sweet. The marriage was "broken," he claims. Well, I guess! It would have been at least a kindness to pretend loyalty and fidelity for a year or so to let the poor woman save face. Without his current wife's money and connections, he wouldn't be where he is today--on the cover of my second favorite magazine--with awards and medals on the wall behind them. Doesn't fool me.

"It seems that McCain, who had once revealed to fellow prisoners of war in Vietnam that he wanted to be president, was restless in 1979. As Navy liaison to the Senate, he didn't have the career momentum he had counted on to propel him into an admiralty and on to the White House. He was 42, mired in stifling ordinariness. (Civilians call it "midlife crisis.")

But McCain was making bold career moves on the home front, hotly pursuing a 25-year-old blond from a wealthy Arizona family -- while married. Carol, his wife at the time, had once been quite a babe herself apparently, until a near-fatal car accident (while her husband was in Vietnam) left her 4 inches shorter, overweight and on crutches. The couple had three children, whom Carol cared for alone while her husband was in Vietnamese prisons.

McCain's strategy worked perfectly: After chasing Cindy Hensley around the country for six months, he closed the deal late in the year, had a divorce by February and was married to Hensley shortly thereafter. Bingo! McCain was a candidate for Congress by early 1982, his coffers full, his home in the proper Arizona district purchased." Jennifer Sweeney, Mothers who think.

Behind every great man--is a babe or two.

1129 The Media Generation

The Kaiser Family Foundation reports on the media and your children (too late for mine--they're adults). Sounds like someone needs to get out in the sunshine more, don't you think? Buy them a pony the next time they ask for a gadget that blasts music or plays games.

"A national Kaiser Family Foundation survey found children and teens are spending an increasing amount of time using “new media” like computers, the Internet and video games, without cutting back on the time they spend with “old” media like TV, print and music. Instead, because of the amount of time they spend using more than one medium at a time (for example, going online while watching TV), they’re managing to pack increasing amounts of media content into the same amount of time each day.

The study, Generation M: Media in the Lives of 8-18 Year-olds, examined media use among a nationally representative sample of more than 2,000 3rd through 12th graders who completed detailed questionnaires, including nearly 700 self-selected participants who also maintained seven-day media diaries."

You can read this as a news release, a summary (41 p.), or you can read the whole thing, if you aren't busy with a video game or blogging. You can also listen to the report.

Just a few years ago, we were wringing our hands about the "digital divide" among children, but evil capitalists rose to the challenge and have taken care of that, and the increase is greater in homes of minorities and low income families than in higher socio-economic educated households. You can now buy a computer for under $300 that cost me over $2500 eleven years ago.

"The majority of young people from each of the major ethnic and socio-economic groups now have Internet access at home, and the increase from 1999 has been higher among children and adolescents of color and those from lower socio-economic levels. For example, over the past five years there has been an increase of nearly 40 percentage points in home access among children whose parents have a high school education or less (from 29% to 68%), compared to an increase of just under 20 percentage points among those whose parents have a college or graduate degree (from 63% to 82%)." (Summary, chapter 13)

The lower income kids go on-line less often, which probably makes them the advantaged group now. They're hanging out with their friends, visiting grandma or going to church, maybe. Kids still read, but the ones with TVs in their bedrooms (probably the richer kids) read less than those who don't have them. The kids who really get into video games read more than the ones who don't.

1128 Final plans

We're going back to the funeral home this morning to finish our "pre-need" plans. We've learned a lot through this process and talked about things that just never came up in 45 years of marriage. For instance, flat, markerless cemeteries that look like prairies with urns of plastic flowers have little appeal, but we both liked the mausoleum, something we'd never considered. Some areas we just never came to an agreement, so we've pledged, "I'll do what you want, if you'll do what I want." No amount of talking was going to budge either of us.

One thing (among many) we didn't know is that you can't buy these services before needed--but you can purchase an insurance policy that covers in detail what you have selected, whether that is next week or in 30 years. Yes, you can designate an account from which all these expenses would be paid, but just make sure your spouse or children have access to it.

We also learned that although no one in our family was too excited about our pre-planning (reactions ranged from "What's wrong, are you sick?" to "No, no, no, don't even talk to me."), our pastoral staff was delighted. They have faced this problem with baffled and grieving parishioners many times, and they believe making the arrangements before you need them is a priceless gift to your family members.

We also don't agree on all the paragraphs in the Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care (Ohioans can download a copy free, so don't pay for one), particularly the hydration/nutrition clauses. Some of the most recent 2004/2005 research from medical journals I've printed out says withdrawing hydration causes unneccesary pain and discomfort and doesn't affect the outcome. The Living Will (included with the DPOA) appears to be a very scary document, and had no appeal to either of us, so we aren't using that.

You don't have to search too far through the medical literature to find that doctors and "experts" disagree on pallative care. Here's how I see it. Dehydration in a non-terminal patient causes immense suffering and complications, so why add that to the burden of the dying patient? There is plenty of research to show that hydration makes the patient more comfortable, and it does not extend the life of the dying.

Both these documents, the DPOA and the Living Will, link "artifically or technologically supplied nutrition or hydration." I think you need to look very carefully at that and read the research. The Journal of Clinical Oncology, April 1, 2005, v. 23, n.10 reported there is a disconnect between what is done in the clinical setting and what is done in hospice, but "studies suggest that hydration can reduce neuropsychiatric symptoms such as sedation, hallucinations, myoclonus, and agitation."

No matter what you select for a funeral, even cremation, or buying your casket from Montana and using it as a bookshelf until needed--it isn't cheap. So you might as well make the decision when you are not traumatized, ill or overwhelmed with grief. Even the death certificates cost $15-25 (depends on the state), and you'll need one for each bank or financial institution.

Oh yes, something else we learned: obituaries are more expensive on the week-ends, so die on Monday if possible.

1127 Small, shrinking comfort

Apparently the Australians have discovered that even though your brain starts shrinking after age 60, that doesn't impair your cognitive functions. Oh yeah? Just where do they think those brain parts are going? In men, they go to their ears and nose(s), and in women they settle either on their waists or thighs, whichever area they've been battling all their lives. I'm using my extra 10-15 pounds as a cheap cosmetic solution to fill out my facial wrinkles, but I'm suspecting my brain cells have settled on my waist. All my life my waist has been too small to wear with the clothing size my hips demanded. Even in the days I wore a size 8 jeans (now memorialized in my clothing archives), the waist gapped. Now when I put my hands on my hips to display the body language of "I don't believe you just said that," there is a roll of flesh protruding between my index and middle fingers. Brain matter, most likely. Mystery solved, because my honed reference skills can still figure out the more important problems of the world, even if I can't understand the Jackson verdict.