Saturday, September 05, 2015

A quest for spirituality gone to waist


Dear Danny  Hamen,

Your ridicule of religion in your chicken and waffles article published in Stock & Barrel, Summer ‘15 (a 614 publication, pp. 38-41) wasn’t cute, funny, or clever, but instead disrespectful, sarcastic and in poor taste (pardon the pun since it was a foodie article).  One or two references, like “promise land” or “on a mission,”  or even an “Oh Lordy” would have been fine, but you apparently spent your Sundays in church as a youth thinking about food instead of the sermon and didn’t want to waste what you learned. 

Here I quote your phrases in all your religious imagery:

Religious experience
I found divinity
The Holy Ghost veiled in Frank’s Red Hot and Ohio maple
I was speaking in tongues
Oh my God. . . Oh my God. . . Oh my God. . . Jesus Christ
Holy pilgrimage
But hath no fear
Like a great messiah of fatty fried food
Took my hand and led me to the promised land
There was only one set of footprints in the sand
Hot sauce stain which looked like a baby Jesus . . .I took this as  a sign.
I  licked it up, and drove home a believer
I had a mission
Divine intervention
I was starting to see visions
What I felt was pure divinity
I was born again, greasy and obese with a chicken breast in one hand and a waffle in the other
Praise be to Biggie

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