It's moving day

 I haven't been wild about my "page a day" table calendar this year. I went from birds to horses. Hmm. Love horses, but birds are certainly a more colorful wake me up greeting for the day. Also, the quotes were sort of boring. But today's horse was back lit with a hazy sky and a showy canter in a corral (or so it seemed). Not a fabulous photo, but the quote for August 14 seemed appropriate. "Simply enjoy life and the great pleasures that come with it." Karolina Kurkovd

It's moving day for the Bruces.

Yesterday was our final day at Kenbook Hills, the prettiest place in Upper Arlington, Ohio, in our opinion. We first saw it during a rain storm in July 2001 with a decor that shocked and energized us--splashy faux everywhere--including the ceilings--brown/gold living room, orange dining room, red family room, some wild fuchsia trim wall paper in one of the bathrooms and black carpet in one bedroom. But it was the landscape that grabbed us. Turkey Run Creek, huge trees of many varieties, wild life (we're not gardeners so that didn't bother us) and a fabulous layout for the 30 condos in 5 styles, unlike other boring developments we'd seen. And windows. Oh my. So many condos have windows front and back and borrow the rest of the light. This unit had windows in every room, a deck in the trees, and as we were to find out later, wonderful, helpful neighbors.

Bob still had his own architectural firm in 2001 and the lower level famiily room became his office, studio and client space with north light and an outside entrance. The former owner had her OSU student living there with private bath and entrance. It was perfect. In the last 15 years it evolved into an art studio for his watercolor hobby with massive storage for bulky frames, mat board and finished paintings.

But time marches on and we're not as frisky as we once were for 3 floor living, so we're moving to a much smaller space in The Forum, just up the road a mile or two in our familiar neighborhood. It feels a bit like moving into my first college dorm, Oakwood, at Manchester College in Indiana. Close to my Illinois home, but not too close. My sister Carol was near-by at Goshen College where they locked up the Coke machine on Sunday (a joke, but true). I could hang out with old friends from childhood like Sylvia and JoElla, my roommate, but could enjoy new adventures and community meals. We'll have three meals a day at The Forum, and I hope I don't gain the weight I did my freshman year in college!

The Forum sits on 14 acres and we'll see the treetops from the 3d floor, just like we do in Kenbrook. Packing and sorting has made me too tired to prepare meals, so we've been stopping by and being served in the lovely dining room. We've met many new people but also some from our past, including the first neighbor we met in 1967 in our first apartment on Farleigh Rd. and one of the engineers Bob worked with.

And so we hope to meet the expectations of the calendar page, "Simply enjoy life and the great pleasures that come with it."

A big move to a smaller space

 We are downsizing for a move. I expected a lot of dust, mustiness, foxing, mystery computer and TV cords and clothes that will never fit again, but was unprepared for grief, sadness, and bewilderment on what to do with "treasures" no one wants, or things we want but can't store. How can 2 people have 70 photo albums.

Retirement residential check list

I made up this checklist to use when looking at retirement apartments or assisted care facilities.  I looked at some on the internet, but listed the ones important to us. The additional considerations were AI generated.

Affordability: Consider whether the facility is within your budget, including any additional charges for services. Ask about past rate increases and whether costs are clearly outlined in the admission agreement. Know what your current living arrangements are so you can compare.

    Buy in,

    Rent

    Contract

    

    Extra costs

    Wait list. Right to refuse.

Contract Review: Obtain and carefully review the admission agreement, especially clauses related to transfer policies and extra charges.

Technology and Communication: Are there provisions for internet access, phone lines, and emergency call systems?

Personalization: Are residents encouraged to bring their own furniture and personalize their rooms? Is there adequate storage space?

Library, church services, lectures, concerts, activities, etc.  Ask to see month/weekly list.

Recreation/hobby areas.

Parking, garage, costs?

Laundry

Will the unit be repainted, carpet, are hanging systems allowed.  Keys.

Location: Is the facility close to family, friends, and medical providers? Consider ease of visitation and proximity to local amenities.

Resident Compatibility: Ask yourself if you or your loved one would feel at home here. Consider lifestyle compatibility and whether residents seem happy and engaged.

Dining Experience: What is the meal plan.  Required/optional.  Check if meals are appealing, fresh, and offer variety. Ask to see menu for week/month Ask about dietary accommodations and whether meals can be served in rooms.

Visiting Hours: Determine if there are strict visiting hours or if family and friends are welcome at any time.

Unannounced Visits: Visit at different times, including nights and weekends, to get a full picture of daily life.

Reputation and Feedback: Ask about the facility’s reputation in the community and whether current residents or families are willing to speak with you.

Staff Stability: Inquire about staff turnover, particularly for key roles like the administrator, cook, and nurse consultant.

Staff Interaction: Observe how staff treat residents—whether they are respectful, know residents by name, and respond promptly to requests.

Additional Considerations

Outdoor Access: Check for safe, accessible outdoor areas, including walking paths and seating.

Transportation: Does the facility offer scheduled transportation for medical appointments or shopping? Extra cost.  

Care Services: Ensure the facility offers necessary services such as dementia care, medication management, and access to doctors and hospitals.

Care Plans: Confirm there is a written plan of care for each resident, and that it is reviewed and updated regularly by qualified personnel. (for assisted care)

Health and Safety: Ensure the building is safe, with non-skid flooring, handrails in bathrooms, and adequate lighting. Confirm there is a disaster plan and regular drills. Visiting nurse?

Privacy and Dignity: Residents should have privacy in their rooms, especially in shared spaces, and staff should knock before entering. (assisted care)

Activities and Engagement: Look for a planned activities program that includes individualized options and weekend events. Check if calendars are posted and if residents can influence activity planning.

Cleanliness and Maintenance: Inspect the overall cleanliness of the facility, including bathrooms, common areas, and resident rooms.

Just looking

This week we visited "The Forum," a retirement facility that's about 3 miles from here. I remember when it was built, about 35 years ago. It was sort of on the edge of our community with not a lot of housing and apartment buildings nearby, but now it is surrounded. I'd made a check list of what to look for based on some I'd seen on the internet, but I rearranged it a bit. They were all for "mom" and that was not our concern, and most lists were for assisted care or memory care. The Forum stopped doing nursing care during Covid so that section is vacant. Memory care and assisted care are across the street in a different building, so that's a separate concern.

So, I had things on my list like staffing, cleanliness, security, activities and proximity to the things we already knew. For proximity it gets A+ as our primary care doctor is on the same street. If we were 5 years younger, we could walk there. Also, the pharmacy, the stores we are used to are within a mile, and it's maybe one more mile to church than our current home. The big shock was it sits on 14 wooded acres. We've been driving past it all these years and didn't know that--I'd seen trees but I guess I thought there were houses in there. There's nothing prettier than a woods this time of year in central Ohio, So, that was a plus. Now I suppose that could change as land prices shoot up. Around here they are building very ugly multi-story apartment buildings in every open space.

I had picked out a floor plan from their website, and we toured the model, and also 2 that were empty, and not updated. It's 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, living/dining area and a one person kitchen. that's 856 sq. ft., although there are some models that are over 1200 sq. ft. with a den and a dining room. One perk is a lovely balcony or deck. No washer/dryer--there are several on each floor. Some larger units do have a stackable in a closet. That would be hard to get used to, although they launder sheets. Elevators, of course. Beautiful dining room that looks into the woods. It was well appointed having been recently "refreshed" in contemporary colors and new chairs and flooring. We didn't have a meal, but there is a chef on site. There was a group of residents waiting in the lobby to go to a state park for a picnic, and it turns out the bus driver (an employee) is a member of our Sunday School class. Each unit has free parking at the entrance closest to that unit, but you can rent garage space. The word has it that many people use their garage for storage! Imagine that.

I was expecting some sort of meal plan in the cost, but it is full throttle--3 meals a day. I'm an apple and walnuts or cottage cheese breakfast person myself, and Bob is boring oatmeal with raisins guy. We'd probably put on weight. That might solve one problem--I have a bit of a china fetish--5 sets, and with no cooking, I won't need but a few dishes. As I thought about it, it started to sound like a good idea. If we have guests, just take them to the dining room.

And storage is definitely a problem for us. It's different for everyone, but in our case it's paintings. Hundreds. Other painters, plus both of us. If you're familiar with "flat files" which architects use, that's another problem.  I won't mind packing up and giving away the bazillions of nails and screws we've moved from house to house over the years, but paintings are a bit more personal. Books are a smaller problem, but we've been whittling that down for the past year.

Family

I got the newsletter from Pinecrest Community yesterday--a Church of the Brethren facility that began in the 19th c. as a home for the destitute aged and orphans. There are independent apartments and small houses; assisted care, nursing care, and memory care. When I was a little girl, I'd go with other children to sing for them, or take presents we had made. Now I can visit some of my classmates there! Over the years, I've visited parents of my friends, my aunts and uncles, eventually my parents, and now a sibling. At one time both my father and his uncle Orville were living there, and I thought that was rare, however, there was only about 2-3 years difference in their ages. But I saw a story I'd never seen: Wally Brooks and his mother Ruth Linger both live there! He is 85 and she's 107!! In the photo, they look terrific.

Six ways to prepare to age well

Well, when I saw that heading, I said, “Too late.”  But these are good reminders published in Health Beat, Harvard Medical School.

1. Adapt your home. Stairs, baths, and kitchens can present hazards for older people. Even if you don't need to make changes now, do an annual safety review so you can make necessary updates if your needs change. [When we remodeled out bathrooms we put in taller base cabinets and “comfort height toilets. Some recent changes in the kitchen, although not sure those will make any difference.]

2. Prevent falls. Falls are a big deal for older people - they often result in fractures that can lead to disability, further health problems, or even death. Safety precautions are important, but so are exercises that can improve balance and strength. [I’m nagging my husband a lot about the ladder and yard work.  We have hired a service for our lake house. We’re both in exercise classes and balance and strength are part of the routine.]

3. Consider your housing options. You might consider investigating naturally occurring retirement communities (NORCs). These neighborhoods and housing complexes aren't developed specifically to serve seniors - and, in fact, tend to host a mix of ages - but because they have plenty of coordinated care and support available, they are senior-friendly. [We’ve been living in a NORC since 2002 and love it. We wanted a one floor plan, but have 3, and so far it hasn’t been a problem.  The grounds are gorgeous, and the neighbors the best.]

4. Think ahead about how to get the help you may need. Meal preparation, transportation, home repair, housecleaning, and help with financial tasks such as paying bills might be hired out if you can afford it, or shared among friends and family. Elder services offered in your community might be another option. [I have some friends in their 90s, and am watching carefully. Elder services seem to be quite good in our area. The kitchen repainting was done by professionals this winter.]

5. Plan for emergencies. Who would you call in an emergency? Is there someone who can check in on you regularly? What would you do if you fell and couldn't reach the phone? Keep emergency numbers near each phone or on speed dial. Carry a cellphone (preferably with large buttons and a bright screen), or consider investing in some type of personal alarm system. [We recently got new phones; bigger numbers, but I still like phones with a little heft.  These feel like they’d break if dropped, and the sound quality isn’t that great. We aren’t in the habit of carry cell phones.]

6. Write advance care directives. Advance care directives, such as a living will, durable power of attorney for health care, or health care proxy, allow you to explain the type of medical care you want if you're too sick, confused, or injured to voice your wishes. Every adult should have these documents. [We’ve got the funeral/burial stuff purchased, and wills, and power of attorney, but best of all, our children live close buy.  A family is the best safety net.]

Are you looking at retirement homes?

We're not, but we thoroughly enjoyed visiting the new Willow Brook at Delaware Run in Delaware, Ohio yesterday. If you or your parents are at a stage where you're starting to think about this, I'd certainly schedule a visit. We visited our former neighbors, had a personal tour with them, and ate in the lovely dining room, The Water's Edge Restaurant, which incidentally has a French chef and is open to the public. The food was as good or better than any restaurant I've enjoyed recently.

Although this is not my favorite architectural style, nothing has been overlooked on the inside for tasteful decor and comfort of the residents. This facility just opened, so these owners/residents got to pick cabinet finishes, and extra features. A number of residents already had plans for the Erickson facility in Hilliard that went into bankruptcy, so there were some last minutes changes, and fortunately they got their money back. As I understand the plans, the area you see in this photo will eventually have buildings all around the little lake. Our friends' apartment faces the highway and a residential neighborhood (not all that close), which they just love because there is so much to look at from their large windows or balcony. They have an alcove in the living room which accomodates their grand piano--so you can see these are not small units.

At this time Willow Brook has 1 and 2 bedroom apartments and twin singles, and our friends also had a study so they were using the 2nd bedroom as a TV room. On the 3rd floor they have vaulted ceilings with gives a nice feeling of openess. There is an assisted care wing and a "memory care" wing on the first floor. There's a lovely library in the balcony area over the lobby, and we stopped by and chatted with the volunteers who were working to get the shelves stocked under the supervision of a retired librarian. There's an artists' workshop, an underground garage, exercise facilities with the latest in equipment, a chapel (not much there yet except chairs despite all the retired preachers), and a very large activity/banquet room.

We met a number of the pleasant staff including Larry Harris, CEO, and the chef, and some of the residents, many retired pastors and professors and business people. Willow Brook is part of Christian Communities (Church of Christ). There is also a Willow Brook Christian Village (about 20 years old) and Willow Brook Christian Home (skilled nursing and rehab).

So if you're starting to look, or you have a parent thinking of moving closer to the children, this facility is about a 45 minute drive from Arlington if you use Rt 33 and about 35 using Rt 315 (we tried both). Delaware is a college town with a nice business district--however, I'm sure there are so many activities planned for the residents they don't have much time to take in the local sights. We heard only two very mild complaints from two couples we know there--they haven't found a local church and haven't changed doctors, dentists, hair dressers, etc., and are still driving back to Columbus.