The Affordable Turkey Act

This past Sunday (Epiphany) we had our couples group from church here for Bible Study and brunch, and I used up several pounds of frozen, left over turkey from Thanksgiving in a fabulous turkey tetrazzini. Used the white wine, etc.  If you need a recipe, I’ve got a good one. I sent some home with our guests and we still have a small casserole in the freezer.  Today I came across a blog I’d posted in 2013 about mandatory turkey for Thanksgiving.  It was funny then, and still is, but painfully true.

From my November 25, 2013 blog entry.

The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The Affordable Turkey Act..." declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a Turkey this Thanksgiving, no later than Thanksgiving itself, Thursday, November 28th, 2013. These "affordable" turkeys will cost an average of $430 -$545 each. This does not include stuffing, cooking pots, meat thermometers, hunting fees, feather plucking fees, a stove or other device used to cook it in, meat cutters, “removal of innards” fees, labor costs resulting from losses caused by passing out after eating yourself sick of turkey [i.e. 1lb dark meat = appx. 2 lbs white meat in estimated labor losses felt by your employer].

This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase turkeys during Thanksgiving. This new law ensures that every American can now have an "affordable" turkey of his or her own, because everyone is "entitled" to a turkey during Thanksgiving. If you purchase your turkey before Thanksgiving, you will receive 4 "free" pilgrim vests; not including frequent dry-cleaning fees.

In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable turkey, the costs of buying a Thanksgiving turkey will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want, still can’t afford, or haven’t enough space in their stomachs or people in their home to eat it all. But to be fair, people who can't afford to buy a turkey for Thanksgiving will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can just eat their parent’s turkey until they turn 27; then they must purchase their own turkey for Thanksgiving. If you already have a turkey, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't). If you don't want or don't need turkey this Thanksgiving, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or can't afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one, or face imprisonment. Failure to eat the turkey this Thanksgiving will also result in fines. People living on the beachfronts; ghettos; inner cities or areas with no access to grocery stores or hunting grounds are not exempt. Meat allergies, veganism/vegetarianism, PETA advocates, lack of knowledge nor desire to cook your turkey are unacceptable excuses for not eating your turkey this Thanksgiving.

A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the turkey, duck, and bacon in a turducken will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can eat your turkey, to include how many people you can share your Thanksgiving turkey with and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to eat turkey. They will also decide if your turkey is acceptable to FDA or USDA standards or if you must purchase specific seasonings, condiments, recipes or other additions, (like a government issue can of cranberry sauce estimated at $25.00) or a newer and more fresh turkey. Those who can afford turduckens will be required to do so...it's only fair.

The government will also change the name of the “wishbone” to the “hopebone” as they will be determining the full extent of your fortune in the event that you snap off the larger half of said bone. Failure to comply with these rules – such as continuing to call it a “wishbone” – will also result in fines and possible imprisonment.

Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a Thanksgiving turkey, they and their families can obtain turkeys for free, at the expense of taxpayers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt. If the government can force you to buy health insurance, they can force you to buy a Thanksgiving turkey....or ANYTHING else.. It really is that simple.

By: Constitutional Watchmen

Turkey is good for more than naps!

“Because most cuts of turkey provide valuable amounts of protein, turkey is often regarded as a high-protein food. Skinned turkey breast will provide the most protein per serving, at 34 grams in 4 ounces. But you will still get 31 grams from 4 ounces of turkey leg and 21 grams from 4 ounces of turkey thigh.

In addition to protein, however, turkey is also rich in other nutrients. All B vitamins are present in turkey meat, including B1, B2, B3, B5, B6, B12, folate, biotin, and choline. (Because the biotin content of turkey meat is sensitive to the turkey's dietary intake, the amount of this vitamin can vary greatly, with an approximate average of 0.8 micrograms in 4 ounces of turkey breast.) Turkey is excellent for vitamin B3 (niacin) and provides over 13 milligram in 4 ounces, or over 80% of the Dietary Reference Intake (DRI). It's also a very good source of vitamin B6, at 0.92 milligrams in 4 ounces (54% DRI). By providing 22% DRI for choline in 4 ounces, turkey also ranks as a good source of this B vitamin.

In terms of minerals, turkey is richest in selenium and provides over 60% of the DRI in a single 4-ounce serving. Zinc, copper, phosphorus, magnesium, potassium, and iron are also provided by this food in noteworthy amounts. “

Read more about the benefits of turkey. http://whfoods.org/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=125#healthbenefits

Turkey Meatballs

It's not that it's magic, but I like to involve one of my mother's mixing bowls when I cook/make something unfamiliar. Friday I made something she probably never did, and I used her little red bowl. . . turkey meatballs. Ground turkey is so tasteless. I decided to add some bread crumbs, seasoning and brush with some sauce.  They tasted so good, I made more on Saturday and froze them for use later. As best as I can recall:

Bread crumbs from whatever you’ve got—I used two slices of whole wheat bread.

1/2 envelop of Lipton’s dried onion soup mix

1 egg

Mix all that together and add 1 pound of ground turkey.

Shape into small balls and place in a muffin tin for small muffins (mine has 24 spaces)

Brush the tops with some kind of sauce.  I made one from mustard, catsup and a little Truvia on Friday, and used grape jelly, mustard and catsup on Saturday.  This keeps the meatballs from drying out while baking.

325 degrees about 30-35 minutes.

Makes 24. Freeze what you don’t eat.  My husband decided they were just the right size for a Ritz cracker.

                   

Here’s a recipe from Food Network that’s a lot more work. http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/giada-de-laurentiis/mini-turkey-meatballs-recipe.html

Here’s another one—more work—but I like the idea of serving them over greens. I’d need to make more sauce, however. I only had about a dollop and a dash. http://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-quick-turkey-meatballs-over-greens-weeknight-dinner-recipes-from-the-kitchn-73204

How to fix a turkey

The National Turkey Federation recommends turkey be roasted by the Open Pan method in a preheated 325 degree F oven until the internal temperature, as registered on a meat thermometer, reaches 180 degrees F in the thigh or 170 degrees F in ...the breast. The open pan dry heat cooking method is the easiest and most reliable of all cooking methods and results in a juicy, tender, flavorful golden brown turkey. My turkey is 22 lbs. and the chart says 6 to 7 hours.

http://www.cooks.com/rec/story/66/

Yet another new law you need to know about

The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The Affordable Turkey Act..." declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a Turkey this Thanksgiving, no later than Thanksgiving itself, Thursday, November 28th, 2013. These "affordable" turkeys will cost an average of $430 -$545 each. This does not include stuffing, cooking pots, meat thermometers, hunting fees, feather plucking fees, a stove or other device used to cook it in, meat cutters, “removal of innards” fees, labor costs resulting from losses caused by passing out after eating yourself sick of turkey [i.e. 1lb dark meat = appx. 2 lbs white meat in estimated labor losses felt by your employer].

This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase turkeys during Thanksgiving. This new law ensures that every American can now have an "affordable" turkey of his or her own, because everyone is "entitled" to a turkey during Thanksgiving. If you purchase your turkey before Thanksgiving, you will receive 4 "free" pilgrim vests; not including frequent dry-cleaning fees.

In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable turkey, the costs of buying a Thanksgiving turkey will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want, still can’t afford, or haven’t enough space in their stomachs or people in their home to eat it all. But to be fair, people who can't afford to buy a turkey for Thanksgiving will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can just eat their parent’s turkey until they turn 27; then they must purchase their own turkey for Thanksgiving. If you already have a turkey, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't). If you don't want or don't need turkey this Thanksgiving, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or can't afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one, or face imprisonment. Failure to eat the turkey this Thanksgiving will also result in fines. People living on the beachfronts; ghettos; inner cities or areas with no access to grocery stores or hunting grounds are not exempt. Meat allergies, veganism/vegetarianism, PETA advocates, lack of knowledge nor desire to cook your turkey are unacceptable excuses for not eating your turkey this Thanksgiving.

A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the turkey, duck, and bacon in a turducken will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can eat your turkey, to include how many people you can share your Thanksgiving turkey with and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to eat turkey. They will also decide if your turkey is acceptable to FDA or USDA standards or if you must purchase specific seasonings, condiments, recipes or other additions, (like a government issue can of cranberry sauce estimated at $25.00) or a newer and more fresh turkey. Those who can afford turduckens will be required to do so...it's only fair.

The government will also change the name of the “wishbone” to the “hopebone” as they will be determining the full extent of your fortune in the event that you snap off the larger half of said bone. Failure to comply with these rules – such as continuing to call it a “wishbone” – will also result in fines and possible imprisonment.

Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a Thanksgiving turkey, they and their families can obtain turkeys for free, at the expense of taxpayers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt. If the government can force you to buy health insurance, they can force you to buy a Thanksgiving turkey....or ANYTHING else.. It really is that simple.

By: Constitutional Watchmen

What’s for Thanksgiving and how much will it cost?

Sunlight Foundation reports

Food stamps. Hit hard by the 2008 financial collapse, more Americans are using food stamps to help buy the basics this Thanksgiving than ever before. Average participation has increased 70 percent since 2007, with costs reaching $72 billion, according the Congressional Budget Office (CBO), and is a major stalling point in the farm bill legislation. The Senate version, which passed last summer, cuts the program by $4 billion over 10 years, while the House version, which has not yet seen a floor vote, cuts $16 billion over the same time period, with some GOP members complaining that amount is still too low. With powerful lobbies like the defense industry rallying against the automatic budget cuts that will take effect if Congress doesn't agree on other spending reductions, food stamps are a juicy target.

Turkey. The National Turkey Federation, as a member of the newly formed Coalition to Promote U.S. Agricultural Exports, urged Congressional leaders earlier this month to pass the farm bill with strong export programs. "With the expiration of the 2008 Farm Bill on September 30, FAS [Foreign Agricultural Service] currently has no authority to run market promotion and development programs..." reads the letter, which was signed by dozens of powerful agriculture trade groups. The Federation also is part of another coalition pushing Congress to quickly normalize trade relations with Russia, pointing to $300 million in annual poultry exports to that country.

Stuffing. Whether you put bread or cornmeal in your stuffing, you can bet there's a faction of farmers behind that ingredient lobbying hard, and that the federal crop insurance program is a big issue. Both the House and the Senate reform but also expand this program. Its cost is expected to rise to $15 billion this year for taxpayers in the face of this year's drought. "Federal crop insurance provides an effective risk management tool to farmers and ranchers when they are facing losses beyond their control," wrote a group of growers trade associations last spring, including the American Farm Bureau, the American Soybean Association, and the National Corn Growers Association. Meanwhile, the Environmental Working Group, along with conservative group such as the Heritage Foundation and the budget watchdog Taxpayers for Common Sense criticize the program a subsidy that benefits wealthy growers at taxpayer expense. Also decried is the secrecy built into the program: Congress in 2000 prohibited the release of information of who benefits from crop insurance, writes the Heritage Foundation. Rep. Jackie Speier, D-Calif., has introduced legislation to require release of crop insurance beneficiaries.

Cranberry sauce. Like many an agricultural group, cranberries have their own caucus. This one, however, is new, formed in June by Massachussetts Sens. John Kerry, a Democrat, and Scott Brown, Kerry's soon-to-be former Republican colleague. "Senator Kerry has been a long-time supporter of the Massachusetts cranberry industry," notes the press release from Kerry's office. "Over the last 12 years, he has worked to secure millions of dollars in funding for important cranberry projects and research in an effort to keep Massachusetts on top as an industry leader." Cranberry growers such as Ocean Spray are on the defensive as the U.S. Department of Agriculture considers standards for sugary drinks in public schools; executives say adding sugar to the juice is necessary because of the fruit is naturally tart. The company also lobbies on issues ranging from sugar taxes to pesticides.

Pumpkin pie. Dairy price support programs expired along with the farm bill in September, leaving dairy farmers in a bind. The Dairy Famers of America has called on Congress to pass the Farm bill quickly and bring "some relief to farmers suffering through weather-related disasters and unfavorable market conditions." Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-Vt., spoke for his state's dairy industry on the Senate floor on November 14, calling for passage of the bill. Meanwhile, a coalition of sugar users--the candy and beverage industries among them--pushes yet again for reform of the sugar industry, which has beat back such attacks on sugar support programs for years. Most recently, the Senate voted during the farm bill debate to table an amendment by Sen. Jeanne Shaheen, D-N.H., to eliminate the program.

Wild turkeys

couldn't keep me away from browsing "deepwoods" photos over at Weather Underground photo blogs.



She writes (but I can't find a place to comment and tell her how much I've enjoyed her photographs): "I am a lady who is now a stay at home homemaker. I live in the woods on the rocky coast of Maine. There are many opportunities to snap some great nature and wildlife scenes, as well as whatever else catches my eye as being interesting or a little different. I also love to bake, and do bake all our bread. Reading is one of my favorite pasttimes, non-fiction only. I am working on a book about my dog, Ridge, who also appears in many of my photos, as he is my constant companion...my hiking buddy, and my best friend. My firm belief and hope is that everyone will one day make a visit to the great state of Maine....it's not called "Vacationland" for nothing!" Sounds like a great life, doesn't it? I spent a summer session at a college in Maine, and we went there to see some fall color in the late 1970s. It is truly a gorgeous state. And winter doesn't look too shabby either!

Unintended consequences of planning ahead

I've always been an early riser, and I go out and meet the folks about 6 a.m. at the coffee shop (different ones depending on the day). I even blog about it. Coffee Spills. But I also bring home the refill. For a long time, I just warmed it up to drink later; then I started saving some for the next morning. Then I started saving the whole thing for the next morning. Along came the "fall back" time change. Early risers hate this time of year (we love the "spring forward". Now we're waking up at 3:30 instead of 4:30. Lately, it's been 3 a.m. because I know that coffee is downstairs waiting for me. Even if I dawdle in the shower, take special care with my make-up and hair, and don't warm it up until 4:30, my mind at 3 a.m. knows it is calling, calling. Even the cat who likes to start smacking the window blinds around 4 a.m. thinks this is way to early for breakfast.

This morning I killed a little time trying to encourage sleepiness by shifting to the couch. I didn't want to watch Birdman of Alcatraz (when I was a veterinary librarian, I had his books in the collection), so I watched a cooking show on Food Network about another bird, the turkey, thinking it would put me to sleep. But I got caught up in the techniques. Aren't these TV chefs amazing? The eye and ear are not clever enough to determine how the chatter evolves seamlessly with the green bean casserole. I know it's the miracle of writing (are their writers on strike, too?) and editing, but it's the smoothness that amazes me. The tricky biscuit dough wreath rolled in cinnamon just appears on the sheet from rolling to cutting to placing in seconds, but her cheery, instructional voice doesn't change, her jeweled sweater doesn't have egg wash splashes, nothing sticks to the rolling pin, there's nothing under her fingernails, and strands of her long, blonde hair don/t appear in the gravy. The woman is amazing.

Christian basher tries to intimidate

I'm being watched for racist comments because I'm a "self-proclaimed" Christian by

Dr. R. Watnicke
The University of British Columbia
2329 West Mall Vancouver, BC Canada V6T 1Z4
tel 604.822.2211

He left a comment on my Thanksgiving entry of four years ago when I noted the international diversity of the crew working at White Castle, the only place open on that holiday. He didn't like my humor I guess. I said the Supervisor was Canadian because his haughtiness (with the staff) reminded me of Peter Jennings (he was alive and well then). In Canada it is currently considered a hate crime to publicly criticize any identifiable group, or to say they are wrong for any reason. Especially from the pulpit. Witnessing to a non-Christian about Jesus I suppose could be hate speech in Canada, because you would be telling him you think he is a sinner, and therefore doing something wrong, and that would be an attack. This is what passes for tolerance in some countries.

I did offer at that post White Castle's turkey stuffing recipe, not realizing I'd pick up some turkeys along the way.

10 White Castle hamburgers, no pickles
1 ½ cups celery, diced
1 ¼ tsp. ground thyme
1 ½ tsp. ground sage
½ tsp. coarsely ground black pepper
¼ c. chicken broth

In a large mixing bowl, tear the burgers into pieces and add diced celery and seasonings. Toss and add chicken broth. Toss well. Stuff cavity of turkey just before roasting. Makes about 9 cups (enough for a 10- to 12-pound turkey). Note: Allow 1 hamburger for each pound of turkey, which will be the equivalent of ¾ cup of stuffing per pound.

Vancouver is one of my favorite cities.