Joyce Kilmer and Lucy Stone

When I was growing up, I thought Joyce Kilmer, the author of the poem Trees, was a woman.

I think that I shall never see
A poem as lovely as a tree. . . etc.

After all, Joyce is my name too. However, he was an American who died in WWI at the age of 31, and whose daughter died in 1917 of the after affects of polio, but which had been instrumental in his conversion to Catholicism.

Well, every morning for months I stopped on my way to the office and prayed in this Church [of the Holy Innocents] for faith. When faith did come, it came, I think, by way of my little paralyzed daughter. Her lifeless hands led me; I think her tiny feet know beautiful paths. You understand this and it gives me a selfish pleasure to write it down."

Lucy Stone was a 19th century suffragist who kept her maiden name after marriage. She was involved in the big three of that century--temperance, slavery, and woman’s suffrage--all stemming from her religious beliefs. She received her degree from Oberlin here in Ohio. After a very full life of activism, Lucy Stone died on October 18, 1893 at the age of 75.

Now the reason I’m putting these two very different, talented people together is that The National Marriage Project of Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey, in Piscatawy, NJ, is located at 54 Joyce Kilmer Avenue in Lucy Stone Hall B217.

The National Marriage Project has released a study that shows what poor preparation for marriage living together is. According to the study, “since 1970 the number of Americans living together outside of marriage has increased more than 1,000 percent, with such couples now making up about ten percent of all couples.” What has resulted are weaker marriages, worse marital relationships, and children often put in danger through the impoverishment of the mother, or the abuse from her boyfriends. Try giving this to your graduating daughter. Should they live together? Here’s what the research finds:

l. Living together before marriage increases the risk of breaking up after marriage.

2. Living together outside of marriage increases the risk of domestic violence for women, and the risk of physical and sexual abuse for children.

3. Unmarried couples have lower levels of happiness and wellbeing than married couples.