679 Dear Preferred Former Member

Considering the letter I sent them some years ago, I'm really surprised they want me back. It was a "record club," although I guess that is a cd club now. I'm old enough to remember vinyl. But here's what I told them:

Please discontinue my membership for the following reasons:

Your mailings are omnipresent, never-ending, stuffed with things I'm not interested in. If I'm interested in music why assume I want new checks, skin care products and Disney junk?

Your bills are confusing, hard to read, and difficult to find in the envelope.

The due date is so small and hard to find in the mailings, one needs a magnifying glass. If it is a good service/product there is no need to trick the unwary and careless into buying it.

The offers are monotonous. Although I expressed an interest in a type of music, "Christian," that is all I hear about and they all sound the same--like boy bands.

Your shipping charges are so high that after having ordered only 2 disks and 2 tapes, I owe $31.46. That is no bargain. I can do better at Kroger's.

Thank you for removing me immediately as a member of whatever it is this company is called. You may keep my free points and the free subscription bonuses--they are too expensive to cash in.

As I said, why would they want me back? Why would I rejoin? This letter is from the "Office of the President." He says he's serious about wanting me back. Wants me to test the music at his website. 100,000 sound samples. 12 CDs for the price of 1. Sure, sure. Tell me another story. And how did they find me? I've moved since I took this scam the last time.