1784 Teaching an old husband new tricks

We've been married 45 years and have a good system for division of labor--I do the easy stuff, he does the tough stuff. Even when I was a SAHM (1968-1978) in the midst of the feminist propaganda of the 70s about how downtrodden and overworked we women are, I sat down and charted the work loads of our family. The kids were given credit for "work" for each hour in school and homework and any little jobs they had around the house. My husband got credit for hours at work, travel time, meetings, continuing ed and work around the house like gutter cleaning, yard work, carpentry, small repairs, autocare and night time child care if I was out of the house at a consciousness raising group. I gave myself credit for time spent on the seven C's, cooking, cleaning, clothes care, car pooling, children's outside the home activities and clubs--VBS, Campfire, etc., cat care and child direct supervision (they were in elementary school and not at home from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. week days). Wow. How humbling. I was definitely the sluggard--working about half the hours of everyone else, which gave me time for reading, painting, watching TV and lunching with friends.

So I've never been too eager to include my husband in household chores. But being sick the past two weeks, I've learned we need some minimal instruction if I don't want him snapped up by some floozy in 6 weeks if something were to happen to me. I never thought about the fact that when we moved here in 2002, we had all new appliances, and I spent a little time experimenting and learning their foibles, all of which come without thinking now. But although he could load the dish washer (sort of), he didn't know the digital settings for heavy and light and times; he didn't know the digital settings on the ovens; he could put clothes in the dryer, but didn't know how to turn it on (4 setting and a bazillion choices for time and fabrics); and he knew how to buy bananas, but not apples.

Thank God he knew how to scoop the kitty litter because she was getting hair ball cat food instead of her usual diet!