Adrian Peterson

The Adrian Peterson situation has brought on a lot of discussion--all except how to be a good father. Is it depositing sperm and making support payments? How many children does he have with how many baby mommas? His home is a mansion, he's a millionaire, but the kids (no one seems to know how many) all live with their mothers. I believe he'd never met his 2 year old child (paternity test) who died last year (that man, the boyfriend of the child's mother, has been charged with murder).

A father looks back—my nephew Robert--Friday family photo

As I look back on the 28 years since I had my first child, Christopher, and then the 17 years since I was blessed with twins, Alex and Sydney, I think about all the times I held them, giving them a really big hug to calm their fears, or to make them feel safe. Little did I know then that the one who really needed the hug, the one who needed to know love, was in fact me. Nothing in the world feels as good as a big, tight hug from your kids, and I really miss that. The military, out of state schools, and a busy school and work schedule keep me and my kids from having that special moment every time I desire or need it, but I want them to know, just how incredibly important they are to me and how much their simple act of a hug has on their dad. You guys are my world. Love you more than life itself!  (from a Facebook post, used with permission)

Happy Father’s Day

Everyone is posting photos of “dad,” so here’s mine.  I don’t have a lot to choose from.  We didn’t have digital cameras in those days, or smart phones, and we didn’t record every get-together and holiday.  But this one was on the occasion of three new grandbabies born between September 10 and October 5 in 1961.  Dad wasn’t all that experienced holding babies, as you can see from the shape of his hands.  He was the oldest of nine, so of course my mother thought he must love kids!  He was 48.

Father's Day is June 19--think about it!

"To everyone who had a great dad who was always there for you, great. And if you got a crummy one in life's father lottery, well, honor him anyway. The Bible promises you a blessing if you do. It's the only one of the Ten Commandments that comes with a promise.

Men who marry the mother of their children reverse the devastation of childhood poverty. It's worth more than a college education in family economics compared to the single mom household. On the other hand, married dads who walk out on the family, usually for another, younger version of the wife of their youth, hurt everyone involved, including his kids, friends and community." Norma Bruce, June 20, 2010

Crime and fatherless homes are directly related

Heather McDonald in City Journal reports on what has happened in Chicago since the September 2009 death of  16-year-old Derrion Albert, when his attack was caught on video and spread across the internet.  The federal government and social workers responded as they've learned to do with a $40 million dollar federal grant for "at risk males."  But that's not what they need.  They need married fathers. Since Albert’s death, 78 more youth under the age of 19 have been killed in Chicago, overwhelmingly in black-on-black shootings.

In every American city, the disproportionate black-illegitimacy rate is matched only by the disproportionate black crime rate. In Chicago, blacks, at least 35 percent of the population, commit 76 percent of all homicides; whites, about 28 percent of the population, commit 4 percent. In New York City, blacks, 24 percent of the population, commit 80 percent of all shootings; whites, 35 percent of the population, commit less than 2 percent of all shootings. The black illegitimacy rate in New York is over 78 percent; the white illegitimacy rate in the city is 7 percent. The national rate of homicide commission for black males between the ages of 14 and 17 is ten times higher than that of “whites,” into which category the federal government puts the vast majority of Hispanics.

Of all the problems we face as a nation, this one seem insoluable to me. I certainly don't think the government can change this, but it sure did help create it, beginning with Johnson's War on Poverty which is when the out of wedlock birth rate began to soar for both blacks and whites. Slight reversal with the 1996 Welfare Reform (begun in 1994) intended to strengthen families and marriage, but was maligned by the press as "War on Welfare Mothers." It had a side affect of reducing illegal immigration and did increase marriage, resulting in more children living with their fathers. Gradually, other federal and state programs were added back in like SCHIP. It did result in reducing case loads for agencies and possibly some lost jobs or transfers.

Happy Father's Day!

To everyone who had a great dad who was always there for you, great. And if you got a crummy one in life's father lottery, well, honor him anyway. The Bible promises you a blessing if you do. It's the only one of the Ten Commandments that comes with a promise.

Men who marry the mother of their children reverse the devastation of childhood poverty. It's worth more than a college education in family economics compared to the single mom household. On the other hand, married dads who walk out on the family, usually for another, younger version of the wife of their youth, hurt everyone involved, including his kids, friends and community.

Our children aren't with us today at our lake home, but I have a package for their dad. Two shirts and a book. Woot! One of the shirts is a style he loves; the other, not so much--but I liked it. I also got him Glenn Beck's new book, The Overton Window, of the "thriller" genre. I never read that genre, but I suppose I could grit my teeth and try it. Couldn't be worse than reading the newspaper headlines. The lefty blogs (as Glenn says, writing in their mom's basement) keep trying to harass Glenn about this book (#1 on Amazon). First they ridiculed the poem used in the promo, not realizing it was Kipling's not his; then they accused him of plagiarism, not reading his credits to the author they accused him of plagiarizing. Sigh. It would help if his critics either watched or read him, instead of making up things.

The newly relocated art store, Artists N Kahoots looks very nice in the old Cokesbury bookstore location. My husband has his own section for prints of his watercolors. It's the crafty stuff that really sells, however. He doesn't do jewelry or pottery or cheese knives or decorated mirrors, batik scarves, wind chimes, etc.

I watched the sunrise at 5:55 this morning on my walk. It wasn't spectacular like many I've seen over Lake Erie, but it's always amazing to see the pink horizon, and then POP! there it is. If sunrises don't make you feel small and sunsets make you feel peaceful, then you need a tune up with the Creator. Don't worship "mother nature" or "mother earth," talk to the real Father of us all. He's anxious to hear from you on Father's Day, or any day.

We ate at the hotel again last night.  I had my 3rd rueben of the season, but this one wasn't as good as the first two--sort of soggy and the corned beef tasted odd.  So next time I'll go for the grilled chicken salad.  But the view of the lakefront and the classic car show on the lawn was spectacular.  Saw lots of cars from the 1950s, and a few from the early 60s that I would gladly ride around in with the top down.  We're really glad the hotel dining room as reopened.  When my husband went to pay the bill he discovered I had taken a twenty from his wallet when I went out to check on the new art store.  Plus, I hadn't spent it, but it was in my slacks and I had changed clothes!  So I dug around in my purse and we came up with enough for the bill and tip. Always check your wallet before leaving the house!

Worship at the pavilion at 8:30 with Bud Cox, the former Lakeside director.  I assume Rev. Jennings had another commitment--we always enjoy his services. Then after communion looking over the lake horizon we go to the Patio Restaurant for breakfast. It's a tradition, but the frig is pretty empty so today it will be a necessity too.

"Fatherhood changed him"

Just not enough to marry his girlfriend of seven years, the mother of his 18 month old daughter. Yes, the intruder that shot him in the bedroom of his $900,000 home inflicting a fatal wound created a terrible tragedy for his family and his teammates, but let's not laud Sean Taylor's parenting, any more than his past scrapes with the law and fights off the football field. Although his daughter will probably not grow up in poverty, most children whose mothers don't marry the father of their children do. It's the number one cause of poverty in America. And he was a powerful role model. This tragedy has multiple threads--let's not get them tangled.

Perhaps I've watched too much Law and Order, or episodes of the Closer, but burglars don't look for people in home invasions, they try to avoid them. And there are easier places for a revenge killing if this was related to his previous problems with "bad guys."