A child centric world

Between rain storms this morning I walked with a neighbor to the little grocery store in Lakeside (one of my favorite things about this small town). Ron was telling me about their plans to take in the grandchildren's activities in three different states this fall. I asked him if his grandparents (or even parents) ever attended his school activities or special events. (He's 10 years younger--Vietnam vet.) I couldn't remember my own grandparents--I had 6 since my great grandparents were also living in the same town--attending anything except my wedding. I think my mom may have attended a play I was in or a musical event/recital. He agreed. He didn't think his parents or grandparents made an effort to go to children's events. His dad was working, he said, and his mom had so many household duties, grandparents were elderly. "Well," he said, "we live in a child centric culture."

If you're 50-ish, you probably remember grandparents who attended every dance recital and soccer game. I knew the grandparents of many of my friends, and I don't think mine were an exception.

Photo of my great grandmother and her siblings, sometime in the 1950s based on the car tail light, seated on right. Sweetest, dearest woman I ever met with a dear Tennessee drawl.

What a sweet grandma story!

I saw this on Facebook.  I’ve “known” Carol since 2003 as a blogger.

“Our week of babysitting the two youngest grandgirls ends tonight. One more car rider line pickup at school this afternoon, one more homework-dinner-bath/pajama time this evening - and then their parents should arrive back home right at bedtime - which means that later tonight I'll drive back to my home and sleep in my own bed for the first time since Sunday night over a week ago. What a wonderful week it has been! Snuggle and reading time with each girl individually at bedtime has been especially tender. And bedtime prayers, too. Last night they put on an original farewell song-and-dance production for me that was both entertaining and sweet! I'm so proud of the wonderful way our son and DIL are raising their precious girls. Both girls are strong, smart, sweet, confident, and beautiful. This week reminded me so much of the times I babysat Lily and Sophie when they were younger. And I know that my days of being needed as a babysitter are numbered. Children grow up so quickly!”

Daddies and babies

I love seeing the daddies and grandpas pushing the baby strollers in the dawn's early light at Lakeside. Someone drew the short straw when the little one woke up. But yesterday about 7 a.m. as I nodded and spoke to the 30-something dad, I could smell the cigarette smoke on his clothing (he wasn't smoking--we're a smoke free community, even on the streets). I could still smell it a block away as I walked where they had just been. Think about the house and car! And the baby's lungs! And think about how that sweet baby learns to associate the smell of cigarettes with hugs, cuddles and daddy.

Joan and her sister Carol, blogging and Facebook friends,  were both school teachers before retirement, and have said, “When I taught school, I could tell which children had parents who smoke because the smell of smoke permeated the children’s clothes.”

So I decided to look it up—if I were concerned, surely someone has researched it.   And yes.  “ Children’s Hedonic Judgments of Cigarette Smoke Odor: Effects of Parental Smoking and Maternal Mood” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1783765/

“We hypothesized that children of smokers would like the cigarette odor and prefer it relative to a neutral odor more than children of nonsmokers. Moreover, we hypothesized that children’s preference for cigarette odor would be attenuated if their mothers experienced cigarettes in a negative emotional context. . . . The current findings suggest that early learning about the sensory aspects of smoking is anchored to children’s experiences at home and the emotional context in which their mothers smoke. However, it is not clear how variation in the timing and amount of exposure to cigarette smoke during childhood affects the formation and persistence of such olfactory associations. If these odor associations persist throughout childhood into adolescence, our data may suggest that children who experience cigarette smoke in the context of a relaxed mother may have more positive associations with smoking, whereas those who experience the odor with a mother who smokes to reduce tension may have more negative associations. Whether such associations (either positive or negative) affect children’s risk for smoking initiation is not known. The long-term effects of early hedonic judgments about cigarette odor are important areas for future research.”

Where is she now? Uncle Sam's step daughter.

I wonder what happened to Robert C. Waterbury's granddaughter who must now be about 24?

Waterbury wrote an opinion piece for the Wall Street Journal in August 1996 about his son--an industrious, hard-working young man who served more than 8 years in the Marines, but in civilian life he was working 2 full time jobs and had no health or life insurance, no pension or profit sharing plan, and survived week to week. His son had a daughter with his girl friend who had three other children.  However, she couldn't marry the younger Waterbury, because she was already married to Uncle Sam who provided money, food stamps, medical and dental treatment.  Legal marriage he wrote terminates welfare assistance, but absentee fathers and others may visit for purposes including sex.  If his son's girlfriend got a job the welfare system would penalize her by reducing her benefits.

So grandpa was wondering how he could help his granddaughter escape the welfare system.

Some lovely children's books

Fall 2016 Poynter grandchildren

Over the years, I collected some lovely children's books for when I would have grandchildren and read to them as I did my own children.  But that was not to be.  Now my niece, who has eight grandchildren, three probably too old to sit with grandma for a book, is coming this week-end, so I've pulled them off the shelves and I'll see if she wants them.  My priority in children's books is always the illustrations. I love these books, will be sad to see them go, but would love to have children read and enjoy them.

Kjelgaard, Jim.  Sam Savitt illustrator.  Two dogs and a horse. 1964.  I think I bought this at a library sale. It's short stories. The author wrote many animal stories, and I remember reading them when I was a child--he seemed fond of Irish Setters. This was published after his death at 49. Sam Savitt was a well known equine artist. He did a Guide to Horses poster that perhaps I had in the Veterinary library at OSU.

Henry, Marguerite. Wesley Dennis illustrator.  Misty of Chincoteague. 1947. 1951.  I read this in 3rd grade, but didn't own it.  I did own her Born to Trot and King of the Wind, so when I saw this at a sale, I bought it. In my opinion these two are the premiere dog and pony children's book authors/illustrators.  Can't be beat. There is a foundation named for this pony.

dePaola, Tomie. Mary, the mother of Jesus. 1995. 1st ed. dePaola has written/illustrated over 250 books for children.

Mortimer, Anne, story by Matthew Sturgis. Tosca's Christmas. 1989.  Usually the illustrator doesn't have top billing, but in this case, she was an artist not known for children's books but for her floral paintings. Until the end of  2014 she had a painting blog, but is now doing that on Facebook.

Pryor, Bonnie.  Illustrated by Beth Peck. The house on Maple Street. 1987. 1992.  In the 90s I was doing some fiction writing, and I attended a two day workshop for children's authors and sat in a session by this author or artist, of which I remember nothing, but did buy two of her books.  She lives in Ohio and has written about 40 books.

Pryor, Bonnie.  Mark Graham illustrator. The dream jar. 1996. Pryor's specialty is writing historical fiction for children.

Rosen, Michael J. ed. Purr. . . Children's book illustrators brag about their cats. 1996. Rosen is a writer, artist and poet originally from Columbus and as I recall, we might have him at the Columbus Museum of Art or maybe visited an art exhibit about animals and bought this book--I'm a bit fuzzy on the details.  The proceeds of this book by illustrators that he edited went to benefit an animal organization.

"Scaredy Kate is a plump calico" belonging to Dyanne DiSalvo-Ryan, who says she had "her first and only litter of kittens on Father's Day, and bore them in the corner of my husband's closet surrounded by his sneakers.  We called them his Father's Day presents, and named the kittens Adidas, Nike, Converse, Etonic and Reebok."

Chorao, Kay.  The baby's bedtime book. 1984. Familiar bedtime poems and prayers--Day is done, Lullaby and good night, Minnie and Winnie, Now I lay me down to sleep--illustrated by Chorao.

Delval, Marie-Helene. Ulises Wensell illustrator. Translated from French. Reader's Digest Bible for Children; timeless stories from the Old and New Testaments. 1995.  Table of contents includes the chapter/verse citation; glossary in back. Illustrator was well known artist from Spain who died in 2011. Author is French and has written a number of Bible based books for children.

Riddles, Libby.  Shannon Cartwright illustrator. Danger the dog yard cat.  1989.  On our Alaskan cruise in 2001 we met the author who talked about the Iditarod which she won in 1985. Cartwright is both a writer and illustrator and lives in Alaska.  A customer review of her Finding Alaska, "Cartwright's art is delightful and at times very humorous. I recently heard that on the train-ride from Anchorage to Fairbanks, an announcement is made at the spot, where the train makes a stop in the middle of nowhere, when a delivery is being made for her, or when Shannon needs a ride to do her errands in the city!!"

Walsh, Vivian and J. Otto Seibold, illustrator. Olive the other reindeer. 1997.  Olive is actually a dog (a Jack Russel owned by the author) who heard the Rudolph song and thought "All of the other reindeer," was "Olive, the other reindeer," and so the story.  I think I bought it because it was about Olive.   This couple has written and illustrated a number of children's books. See Wikipedia.

McGeorge, Constance W. Mary Whyte illustrator. Boomer's big day.1994.  Snow riders. 1995.  My recollection is I met Ms. McGeorge at an authors' workshop or gathering and then bought her books at a book store. Snow Riders I thought was especially exciting because my brother and I used to make snow horses in the winter in Forreston.  I met Mary Whyte at least 10 years later and we have another one of her books, Working South, although it's not a childrens' book. She will be the judge at the fall OWS show.  I think Ms. McGeorge lived in Upper Arlington when I met her. Boomer was the first children's book for both according to the flap and Boomer was the name of Whyte's Golden Retriever. 

There's a lovely blog about the art of children's books, "The art of children's picture books," but it seems to be on vacation since August 2015.

Happy Father’s Day

Everyone is posting photos of “dad,” so here’s mine.  I don’t have a lot to choose from.  We didn’t have digital cameras in those days, or smart phones, and we didn’t record every get-together and holiday.  But this one was on the occasion of three new grandbabies born between September 10 and October 5 in 1961.  Dad wasn’t all that experienced holding babies, as you can see from the shape of his hands.  He was the oldest of nine, so of course my mother thought he must love kids!  He was 48.

Do you have grandchildren?

I don't. This one's for you.

Stress on Grandparents

I wrote this about 4 years ago--just came across it today. Maybe I'll have to go online and double check:

. . . it was reported in WSJ that Harvard University researchers found a 55% greater risk of heart disease among grandmothers who care for their grandchildren than those who don’t. 36.3% of U.S. grandparents provide intermediate or extensive care for their grandchildren. One theory about the stress is that there are other events in the lives of their adult children, such as divorce or substance abuse, that causes the parents to have to help out, thus causing a lot of stress. And those of us with no grandchildren have a 47.95% greater risk of a broken heart. (I made that up.)

This site has all sorts of links on grandparenting. The original research was published in Am J Public Health. 2003 November; 93(11): 1939–1944. "Caregiving to Children and Grandchildren and Risk of Coronary Heart Disease in Women," by Sunmin Lee, ScD, and others.

We haven't seen health problems among our friends and relatives who care for their grandchildren, but we do see some social problems. They are definitely less available to go out of an evening--either pooped, or doing something with the grandkids--and when we visit my sister-in-law, conversation is somewhat limited if she is watching two or three great-grandchildren, so their grandmothers (her daughters) can catch a break from babysitting!

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Nancy Pelosi on partial birth abortion and your daughter

"Here is how the law defines partial birth abortion:

"An abortion in which a physician delivers an unborn child's body until only the head remains inside the womb, punctures the back of the child's skull with a Sharp instrument, and sucks the child’s brains out before completing delivery of the dead infant."

Here is what Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi says about partial birth abortion:

"This is about a procedure that any parent would want her daughter to have access to if she needed it. And to frame it as an abortion issue is doing a disservice to medicine and to our young women and our country. So I hope we can get the focus back on the fact that this Supreme Court is deciding what medical procedures are necessary for child-bearing women."

from Denny Burke's blog

How could any abortion supporter say she would want her daughter, or anyone else's daughter to have this procedure, killing her grandchild in such a vicious, cruel way? Wasn't she parading her grandchildren before the TV cameras not too long ago?