Showing posts with label grandparents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grandparents. Show all posts

Thursday, August 21, 2025

Memories from 1957--Grandma's fall

 Repacking my genealogy files today, I found a 1957 letter from Leslie, my mother's brother, describing an incident I'd heard about from Mom--my grandmother's fall after I'd left for college.  The envelop has a 3 cent stamp, no zip code, and no street address for Mrs. Elbert Trent. 

Franklin Grove, Ill   Sept. 14, 1957

Dear Cousin:

Your letter was much appreciated informing us of the passing of Martha Klein, which we received on Tuesday before the funeral.  Mother & Father were planning to drive out to the funeral Wednesday morning. In the excitement of making plans, Mother fell down the porch steps on to the cement sidewalk.  She suffered a broken nose, which necessitated a cast, and various other sprains & bruises.  Of course, she spent a few days in the hospital and could not attend the funeral. She has recovered almost entirely now except for a general overall weakness which the doctor describes as "after effects."

Martha Klein's partner Addie was in sick bed when Mother last visited them some months back.  She wishes to send her sympathy to relatives & friends who cared for illness & final arrangements for Martha & Addie.

Martha seemed to be quite well at that time of their last visit, so it was of considerable shock to hear of her death.

She had hoped to see Marian (Marianne Michael?) while she was in this country but it did not seem to work out.  We are glad to hear of your son Norman, and his being set up in practice so near by in Mason City.  We are sorry to hear of your son Dee, having a painful accident.

As for me, I can remember rather faintly of stopping at your place about 1919 or 1920.  I have spent the last 31 years with the Bell Telephone Co--in, and also near Chicago at present.

Sincerely

Leslie . . . 

Written for Mary & Charles . . . 

----------------------------------------

As for me, Norma Bruce, the Trent name didn't come to mind as a relative, but it is addressed to "Dear Cousin." All my other genealogy resources are not unpacked, so I can't check the relationships. I know that Marianne Michael's mother who was widowed later married a Trent, and my mother called Helen Trent a cousin so possibly that will connect somewhere. Marianne, Norman and Dee were siblings.  Marianne was a missionary in Nigeria which would account for being "in this country."  It was from Helen Trent my mother learned a lot of "lost" family stories.

Wednesday, February 28, 2024

Antiques Roadshow, pt. 3, the dictionary

The Antiques Roadshow appraisal at our house today is my Merriam-Webster New International Dictionary of the English Language 2nd edition Unabridged. At least that's what I told my husband at dinner, but I was wrong. The word Merriam isn't in the title but is in the publisher's name. And until I looked at it carefully, I had several things incorrect. I'd assumed it was copyright 1948, but it is 1934. It has an updated "New Word" section which is 1939 and 1945, but 1948 is on the title page. That section (from the 40s) is truly fascinating. You can still purchase Mr. Webster's 1828 edition and it's interesting because it reflects a Judeo-Christian culture. The 1934 2nd edition unabridged was last printed about 1960 and the copyright doesn't end for a few years. But the 3rd edition is available.

This particular antique was a Christmas gift to my parents perhaps in 1949 or 1950 from my grandparents. My aunt and uncle probably were given one too. My parents had a special stand for it which someone else in the family might have. The volume is massive, so a stand that fits would be helpful. It sits on our dining room buffet. After my father died in 2002 it became mine. I use it frequently. 

Here's how language and dictionaries change with the culture.
 
Marriage (1828 Webster's dictionary): "MAR'RIAGE, noun [Latin mas, maris.] The act of uniting a man and woman for life; wedlock; the legal union of a man and woman for life. marriage is a contract both civil and religious, by which the parties engage to live together in mutual affection and fidelity, till death shall separate them. marriage was instituted by God himself for the purpose of preventing the promiscuous intercourse of the sexes, for promoting domestic felicity, and for securing the maintenance and education of children."
 
The color plates and illustrations are as good as the day 10 year old Norma first looked at it. The print does seem to have grown smaller! There are 600 special topics with little bios about the editors and there were special assistant editors checking their work!



Thursday, June 08, 2023

Back to the seventies, Hippity Hop and Big Wheel

I'm not sure why I posted this 10 years ago on Facebook, except to tell of my parents' voices in my head. They are about 60 in the photo, so I was maybe 34. The original in 2013 said, "Hallmark should have a card to celebrate the day you become your parent(s). (Heard on the radio) I would love to sound like my mother, but usually it is Dad who speaks. He would give a solid yes or no, and Mom would say, "We'll see," so we interpreted that any way that suited us."

Now I've waited too long to tell about the visit or what we did. If I had my photo album, I might have notes. It was spring, that's a flowering quince which will take over the yard if you aren't careful, a sand box which Bob built and the neighborhood cats used. The kids weren't very interested in t.  The toys are Big wheel and Hippity Hop. Anyone remember those? Today about 50 years later I'm wearing mom's hairstyle in this photo. It's very windy this week at the Lake. Not once did I ever hear her complain about her hair, but I do every day. Every day. Oh, how I miss her wisdom, strength and love of service.



Sunday, February 19, 2023

Things my grandfather used to say

Things my grandfather used to say: By Sean Dietrich (Sean of the South)

Be nice; because if you’re not being nice, what are you being?

Don’t cut in line. Don’t interrupt. Don’t pout. Never, ever take the last biscuit.

Smile, it increases your face value.

The wise man knoweth how to dumb it down.

You can’t think your way into the right action, but you can act your way into the right thinking.

Try your hardest, do your absolute best, and when all else fails, cuss.

Always obey your mother when she is around.

Everyone should pee in his own backyard at least once.

Listen to the elderly, they’re smarter than you. Unless they are men.

Treat other people the way you want to be treated. If the Golden Rule were actually practiced today, there would be no karaoke bars.

You never know what a consummate ass you can be until you give someone else advice.

Never judge a Denny’s menu by the photographs.

Let him who is without sin throw the first boomerang.

Whenever something stinks, check your own diaper first.

Don’t point fingers unless you're standing in front of a mirror.

Always, always, always trust your gut.

Tomorrow is a day with no mistakes in it, but you’ll change all that.

Be nice to kids, one day they’ll be running your nursing home.

Feed strays.

When in doubt, do it the way your wife told you.

Never pass up an opportunity to hold a baby.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she is wrong.

‘Fess up when you mess up. Admit when you’re wrong. Don’t gloat when you’re right. And above all, don’t act like you know everything. Know-it-alls make life so incredibly difficult for those of us who actually do.

Change your oil before you think it needs to be changed.

Quit watching the news for 72 hours and just see how you feel.

Doctors don’t know everything. Neither do preachers. Neither do granddaddies.

Your heart knows a lot more than you give it credit.

Life is too short to work for bosses who treat you like crap.

Make a resolution to rid yourself of all bad habits, you can start with perfectionism.

Never, ever be lazy unless you absolutely feel like it.

Always bury politicians at least six feet below the soil, because deep down they’re good people.

Everyone is screwed up. The only ones who aren’t screwed up live in graveyards.

If you love someone, love them hard. If you hate someone, love them even harder.

There is nothing half as exciting as canceled plans.

If you’re hogging all the credit, you’re going to hog all the blame, too.

This is not the end.

Neither was that.

Ninety-nine percent of the things you worry about will never happen.

If you really want to believe in God, you already do.

Always listen to your grandparents. And if you don’t have any, then you can always listen to mine.

Friday, December 09, 2022

Transportation 100 years ago

When my mother was a little girl, her family still kept a carriage horse in the barn that did useful tasks like pulling their cars out of the muddy lanes that approached their graceful farm home two miles from the main road near Franklin Grove, Illinois. I believe she told me the children never rode "Beauty" because she hadn't been broken to ride. Because I was madly in love with horses, I couldn't imagine having a horse that close and NOT riding it. My maternal grandparents were "early adopters" and owned automobiles probably before 1910. Draft horses were still used in the fields because tractors weren't reliable enough, but I believe they were stabled at the tenant farm barn. My father's family in the next county, however, used draft horses regularly in farming. My father told me they sometimes rode one to church, the Pine Creek Church of the Brethren (now disbanded). Draft horses are so massive, so wide and so powerful, I have difficulty picturing this. My grandmother was blind and the four older children would have been quite small. But then, picturing her walking there with little ones doesn't read either. (repeat from 2005 blog about draft horses)

Friday, July 08, 2022

Lakeside nostalgia--guest blogger Jennifer Mathews-Santulli

We have sold our cottage in Lakeside, but are leasing it for the final summer.  The air conditioning died 2 weeks ago, and is being installed today ( for new owners, of course).  It feels different, of course, especially since several in our neighborhood haven't returned due to illness, or busy schedules "back home" (usually doctors' appointments and grandchildren's activities).  I noticed this very nice nostalgia piece on Jennifer's Facebook post today.  I knew her mother--and perhaps I knew Jennifer when she was a little girl playing in Perry Park which was near her parents' house and the first cottage we rented back in 1974. She gave permission to repost it here, so enjoy a peek back.

"It was very hot and humid all day yesterday. Portable A/C units blasting all day… for the relief of it in a few rooms in the cottage. It is nothing fancy but we love it that way… it’s like going back in time to Mayberry… you don’t have to lock up your bikes in the park… chances are, if you forgot it last night… it will still be there in the morning. Right where you left it. Unless some kid took it on a late night joy ride… and it will be discovered 4 blocks away discarded after the fun. Some neighbor will recognize it from a lost bike sign and you’ll go pick it up. Last night, I listened as I heard the American flag start to flap… after dropping heavy and low thru the heat of yesterday. It’s a welcome change and you snuggle in tight with a smile. You know that the northeast winds have blown in and will chase the thick humidity away leaving a crisp chilliness. Great sleeping weather. Perfect for reading on the porch.. or taking a nap. Everybody is out riding bikes and golf carts… kids racing, cousins reunited, birds and squirrels chirping and scurrying for seeds and bugs. Rushing to or from summer jobs up here… or out to pick up some forgotten BBQ or picnic supplies.
 
In my opinion, this is some sort of surreal little pocket of heaven which I have been so lucky to be a part of all these years of my life. Again, unlike the new trend of leveling the older cottages and rebuilding up newer versions of themselves, our place is almost still original, save the shower updates in which my mother had the beloved Victorian tubs hauled away… and kitchen updates years ago… but the memories we have made in this place echo in my heart and mind all thru these years. I had first loves in this place, and brought my fresh faced new fiancĂ© here. I nursed and rocked my babies under the moonlight rocking on vintage white wickers… until they snoozed back in bed. I taught my 3 girls how to ride their bikes or paint rocks or sing Bible school songs here. We experimented with food options and became instant chefs for only our people here. I walked dogs by the beloved great Erie lake shore here in the day and nighttime, being leery of running into midnight “friends” of the skunks or raccoons. I have stood face to face with a deer or coyote in the predawn’s light going down to the lake front. What a thrill… I had late night boat rides with old boyfriends… watching the bobbing lights on the nearby Islands… that feeling of being so young and free… and alive. I am still friends with many of these people still today… it doesn’t matter how different our lives are or have taken us… we all share that “Lakeside Bond” that does not seem to break. That’s what is so great about old friends and most especially up here.
 
I have met celebrities while being a young waitress across from the concert venue… serving them food and having the opportunity to chat awhile. And experiencing the MAGIC of hearing them play in that great and unique auditorium.. something so intimate and “back in the day” that never goes away. Magical nights when the wind turns during a program and gusts welcomed breezes to the performers.. sometimes bringing them to change their intended set list to something more intimate. Including the audience because they feel Lakeside’s spell, too.

Conversely, I have nursed my dying mother here in this cottage… watching her great light fade away slowly while secretly begging God for a miracle so she could stay awhile longer in this place… my 3 girls spread around her holding her hands and whispering gratefulness for what she had brought to us in this place… a second mother to them really… after my sad divorce. What memories we share singing and reading and taking walks and telling stories. . . playing cards games or “chicken foot” dominoes with their Nana.
 
And now I am caring for my elderly Pop. He’s still kicking it but very frail. Still hanging on. We go back and forth some . . . he’s much grumpier than my mom ever was but still . . .  he’s my dad and I love him. He took me fishing off his wooden Lyman boat.. we caught two at a time on perch double hooks. I got many a suntan on that boat . . .  while my dad and my brother fished. We drove to Canada to Pelee island and bought our English tea cups and woolen wear counting our Canadian coin change.
 
So many memories . . .  such a different life than my other 10 months of teaching in a Title One school in an Atlanta suburb. I love Lakeside for all it has given to me and my family. It always goes by too fast… And I will never forget it.

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

The grey, golden years—Vantage Point Devotional for February 13

I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come.
Psalm 71:18

In Psalm 71, we see David reminiscing on his life, and now acknowledging the grey in his hair. While he is filled with praise for God’s lifetime of provision, he is eager to pass what he has learned to the next generations. David asks the Lord to sustain him so that he might.

Aging has its challenges…failing health, falling income, possibly even thoughts of uselessness or obsolescence. But God wants you to glory in your grey. You have lessons to teach. Times when God healed health issues, or provided just the right job when you thought financial ruin was looming. You are not useless so long as you can have the sound of praise in your heart and in your voice. Grandparents can often get their messages through to children and youth when the words of parents fall on deaf ears.

What legacy are you preparing for the generations who will follow you? The most important is their memories of your love and praise for the Lord. Ask Him to be your sustainer through your grey (or golden) years. Intercede for God to grant His loving wisdom to the grandparents who serve in Congress, the courts and the Trump Administration.

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

My summer of 1958, part 5

See Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4 for the story about why I was living on my grandparents’ farm in 1958, the summer between my freshman and sophomore years in college.  The diary also covers problems with the water, my menus and cooking, disagreements with my grandparents and my social life. Transcribed from my diary!

I’d forgotten so much of this, and yet, not much has changed in my personal interests and activities and Grandma and Grandpa been gone for over 55 years—1963 and 1968. The signs were there in 1958 for my future career as a librarian, I just didn’t know it then. Even the topics of my publications in the 1990s when I was a librarian at Ohio State university—the journals and books and their stories—I was holding the raw material in my hands in 1958. "A Bibliographic Field of Dreams," AB Bookman's Weekly for the Specialist Book World, in 1994;   "A Commitment to Women--The Ohio Cultivator and The Ohio Farmer of the 19th Century," Serials Librarian in 1998; research on home libraries , spanning two farm family collections for the years 1850-1930.
The diary begins on June 1, 1958 with Grandma and I having a long talk—some of which I probably knew before. I recorded other conversations too personal to repeat. Who but me would remember now she had a baby named Glenn Oliver who died at birth?   I wrote down that Grandma and Grandpa met in college in Mt. Morris, Illinois, in the 1890s when both belonged to the same boarding club.  She was raised on a farm near Ashton, Illinois, and graduated from Ashton High School;  he was raised on a farm near Dayton, Ohio. Both had a financially comfortable life, being younger than their siblings, and enjoyed travel, reading and hobbies—hers was painting, his was bicycles. I’ve often wondered if he’d ever met the Wright brothers whose home and bicycle shop were in Dayton.  They were members of the same small religious group (German Baptist Brethren, later called Church of the Brethren).  They had gone their separate ways after meeting in college—she returned to the farm to take care of her sick mother, and he and his brother had gone on an adventure west, teaching school in the Dakotas and working as lumberjacks in the northwest. Because her father was able to support her, she told me, the local school board would not hire her as a teacher, but she continued with art lessons and “did the books” for her father’s numerous farms.

Jacob Weybright Home 
The farm home near Englewood, Ohio where Grandpa grew up, one of 9 children.
Mary Charles Boarding Club
The boarding club where my grandparents met at Mt. Morris College. She is back row far left, and he is front row far right

I loved learning family history, and Grandma and I talked a lot that summer.  By attrition, sixty years later I’m the only one left in the family who keeps track. I have a genealogy software program, I’ve written several family stories I distribute to my cousins and siblings, a family cookbook, and in my own house, I still have many books and clippings and even some clothing that belonged to these grandparents.  There will never be another home for them since there is no one to pass them on to.
June 5: “After supper dishes I straightened things and cut a fresh bouquet.  Then I looked at old books, clippings and pictures until 11.  I sure found some interesting things.” (Grandma had a parlor for clipping articles out of her journals, and a large walk-in closet with special shelving for her journals dating back to the 1890s.)

June 6: “Grandma and I talked after dishes.  She still worries about Clare (son who died in WWII), whether or not she had tied him down.”. . . “Browsing the tool shed I found agricultural books over 100 years old, also an English grammar from 1850.”

June 24: “Mom came down about 3 p.m. while I was straightening Grandmas’s  magazines.  I drove our car to town  . . . I had a letter from Lynne. . . The water is fixed so I took a bath and read some journals and went to bed.”

Also in my diary are a lot of visits with the neighbors in the evening, especially the Jaspers (both of whom died within the last two years in their 90s), and I learned from their stories about their pasts and families.

Another interest still strong 60 years later is all the letters I mentioned in the diary. Going to the post office each afternoon, then opening my mail at the drug store was a special treat noted often in the diary.  I had several letters a week from my boyfriend who was attending classes in Minnesota, letters from college friends, and even a few from friends living just 20 miles away.

June 11: “ I walked into town (Franklin Grove) to look at the library.  It is pretty nice for a small town.  I got the mail, had a wonderful letter and bought a coke.  Very nice afternoon.”

June 15: “After dishes I wrote letters, studied Spanish and read Good Housekeeping. . . After supper I wrote more letters and read to page 38 in Don Quixote, which I think is a very dull book.”

June 16: “I got a letter from [boyfriend] intended for his parents and one from [another boy I’d dated at Manchester].  I mailed 6 letters.”

June 23: “I walked into town and got 4 letters.  I read them in the Drug Store. . . wrote to Richard (son of Uncle Leslie and Aunt Bernice) after dishes and read and listened to the radio.”

I still do a lot of correspondence, now mostly by e-mail—some of the same people I visited with or wrote to that summer. In the 1990s, I compiled all the “real” letters I had from parents, siblings, cousins and friends and excerpted all the  items about the holidays from Halloween through the New Year and called it “Winters past, winters’ post.”  These letters recorded the ordinary events of our lives to the faint drumbeat of the cold war, the civil rights movement, space flight, the VietNam war, political campaigns, Watergate, economic growth and slowdown cycles, the rise of feminism, employment crises, career changes and family reconfigurations. On and on we wrote, from the conservatism of the Eisenhower years, on through the upheaval of the 60's, the stagnation of the 70's, then into the conservatism of Reagan/Bush in the 80s. National and international events are rarely discussed in these letters as though we were pulling the family close into the nest for a respite from the world's woes. When my children were about 35, I compiled from letters to my parents, all the cute, wonderful and strange things they’d done or said.

I also saved letters from others, and at various life events, bundled them up and returned to sender. Others did the same for me.  In 2004 four years after Mom's death I received a bundle of letters my mother had written to her cousin, Marianne in Iowa.  For about 30 years I saved all the Christmas/holiday letters we’d received from friends and family, and just this past year we said good-bye.

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

My summer of 1958, part 4

What does an 18 year old do for a social life while living on a farm with her grandparents?  Not much except spend time with adults.  See Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 for the story about why I was living on a farm the summer between my freshman and sophomore years in college. Transcribed from my diary!

Perhaps it was a good thing, but my boyfriend had to go to Minnesota for the summer of 1958 for civil engineer camp. According to my diary, he called about 11:30 on June 6 and said he would stop by before leaving, so I grabbed a pail of water to wash up, put on some clean clothes and we said good-bye before he left. Going after the mail, either walking or driving to Franklin Grove, was a favorite activity and I got my first letter from him on June 9. I would often stop at the local drug store to get a Coke and read my mail the diary says. I mentioned letters from college friends, some other boys I’d dated, and my great uncle Edwin who lived in Ohio.

On Saturday June 14 I was picked up by a relative so I could go to my uncle’s wedding, which was a lovely event and I sat with my other grandmother (groom’s mother). I spent the night at my parents’ home and my brother drove me back to the farm after church with them.  That Sunday afternoon Aunt Muriel and Uncle John came down with my cousin Gayle and we girls had a good visit.  By this time, Grandma and I were wearing on each others’ nerves, and I noted in the diary I started to read Norman Vincent Peale’s “Power of Positive Thinking.” I was probably acting like a normal, self-centered teen-ager, which I’m sure was difficult for her. I didn’t sympathize then, but for her age and declining health, the stresses in her life and still being in deep grief over the death of her sonin WWII, she was doing better than I realized then.

The big activity of June 16 was cleaning the house and ironing clothes and in the evening I walked in the bean field and watched the men making hay. I’m sure I wished I was at the skating rink or movie, although I didn’t write that. Finally, someone my own age showed up.  On the evening of June 17 friends from high school/college—Sylvia, Sharon and Lynne drove down from Mt. Morris to see me and I wrote we had a lot of fun talking.

Uncle Leslie and Aunt Bernice would come out from Chicago about once a week and all of 5 of us would go to Dixon to eat and shop for groceries, and Bernice and I would chat while Leslie talked to his parents.  She often brought cake or cookies with her.

One rather interesting “social” event was meeting a woman, Mrs. Sharkey, on Sunday morning June 22 when I drove to Dixon, and I attended a Catholic Mass with her at St. Patrick’s  (my first and only until 2017) and she loaned me her prayer book.  She was a widow and invited me to her apartment for coffee, and I note in my diary that her china was the same pattern as Grandma’s.  In late summer 1960 I went to Dixon to the store where she worked and bought my everyday china from her. A sweet memory of a dear Christian woman.

It’s not clear from my diary why I was in Dixon on a Sunday morning, probably looking for the Church of the Brethren thinking I'd see friends from college, but later that day I drove to Mt. Morris, had supper with my other grandparents because no one was home at my parents.  Perhaps I just wanted a bath (we still had no indoor plumbing at the farm).  I recorded that my Aunt Lois (who died this last December at 91) had a baby girl the day before (that would be cousin Rhonda) and that I drove my Dad’s new red Ford Ranchero.  Dad never removed the keys from his cars, so I suppose I just hopped in and went for a joy ride stopping to talk to people I knew!

On June 25 Grandma wanted to see Dr. Boyle in Mt. Morris so we drove there and I had a chance to visit with my girlfriend, Lynne.  On many days I wrote that I walked down the lane to the neighbors after supper. Often they would give me fresh produce from their garden which I would work into my menus  Addie and Dale were 38 and 39 (died in 2016 and 2017),  had four adorable children and were fun to be around.  I also went to church and their Sunday School class, really old folks like 30 or 40, and I don’t mention meeting anyone my age.  I also visited an immigrant couple, Dora and Zieg, down the other lane who were learning English by watching TV (my grandparents didn’t have a TV).  On June 30, two sisters-in-law of my boyfriend stopped to visit me at the farm.

On July 4 after baking a cherry pie, making a big dinner of meatloaf and baked beans and sprinkling the laundry (no permanent press then—wash, starch, dry, sprinkle, iron), I walked to the neighbors down the lane and Martha Brumbaugh came by and offered to take me to Mt. Morris, so we went after supper and I caught up with high school friends Nancy, Priscilla and Lynne to attend the July 4 talent show in Mt. Morris. Sylvia drove me back to Franklin Grove that evening. Rereading this, I am surprised at all the driving back and forth and I seemed rather casual about the transportation  arrangements.  If Sylvia hadn’t offered, how would I have gotten back to the farm? It’s about 19 miles, with hilly, winding roads, and a long lane off the high-way, or about 40 minutes. Did it ever occur to me at 18 how many people I inconvenienced?  If so, I didn’t mention it.

On July 5 I wrote I had a 4 page letter from my boyfriend and I was beginning to miss him!  How shallow is that? He’d been writing several times a week. Also I went to the garden and picked over a quart of raspberries and some rhubarb.  Then I made 2 pies.  Aunt Muriel, Uncle John, their daughter Dianne and my mother came down in the evening.  I hope I served them some pie, although I didn’t write that in the diary!

          Gayle, Dianne, Muriel 1959

I don’t have a photo of my cousins and Aunt Muriel from 1958, but this is 1959 at Gayle’s wedding. Aren’t they lovely!

From July 7 through the 11th my entries are very short.  Sylvia and Dave came to visit, I went to the neighbors to help with a birthday party and got home at 1 .m., I cleaned a lot, baked a lot, took a pie to Dora and Zieg.

July 12 is my last entry in the diary of my summer at the farm. I baked a blueberry pie that day, Uncle Leslie and Aunt Bernice came and we went to Dixon where I bought a wedding gift for my high school friend, Tina, who had moved to Florida after our junior year.  And I mentioned no one would want this job. . . nothing I did was right, and there are no other entries.  I think my father picked me up the next day or within a few days, and I spent the rest of the summer in Mt. Morris.  And I was probably much more appreciative of my own home, my mother’s cooking, and just doing what teen-agers do.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Happy Father’s Day

Everyone is posting photos of “dad,” so here’s mine.  I don’t have a lot to choose from.  We didn’t have digital cameras in those days, or smart phones, and we didn’t record every get-together and holiday.  But this one was on the occasion of three new grandbabies born between September 10 and October 5 in 1961.  Dad wasn’t all that experienced holding babies, as you can see from the shape of his hands.  He was the oldest of nine, so of course my mother thought he must love kids!  He was 48.

Grands 1961 Christmas

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Thursday Thirteen -- Comparing Grandmothers

13 things about my grandmothers that make them different than today’s grandmothers

We are at Lakeside on Lake Erie, a summer Chautauqua community, where I have noticed big differences between today’s solicitous, attentive grandmothers and those no nonsense, sensibly shod ladies of the 1940s and 1950s when I was spending time with grandmothers. One of my grandmothers was born in 1876 (a centennial baby), and the other in 1896 (a turn of the century baby). So even they were a world apart in life style and experiences. Altogether, I had six grandparents (2 sets of grandparents, 1 great-grandparent couple), and loved them all, and have many fond memories of spending a lot of time with them, but. . .

My paternal grandparents, great-grandparents and Uncle and aunt and their baby, 1935

1. I never saw either of my grandmothers in slacks, let alone jeans, shorts or a swim suit.

2. I never saw either of my grandmothers on a bicycle. Can’t even picture it!

3. I never saw either grandmother drive a car, although I know one did when she was young and middle age (one was blind, the other had mild strokes in her 60s). I also never saw them ride a horse either, but I know they both did--one even rode a horse to church with several children aboard.

4. My grandmothers never read to me.

5. My grandmothers never supervised crafts for me or played games with me or took me swimming, because that’s what cousins and older sisters were for in those days.

6. My grandmothers never had house pets--there might be a cat or dog around, but it lived outside where it could earn its keep.

7. Neither of my grandmothers was a particularly fine cook--if we ate well at their homes it was a holiday and the younger generation of aunties or daughters supplied the food. Both kept gardens and canned.

8. I never ate in a restaurant with my grandmothers when I was a child, nor did they buy me huge helpings of ice cream I couldn‘t finish.

9. My grandmothers never wore make-up--or even wedding rings as I recall.

10. Neither of my grandmothers cared much about house cleaning or yard work.

11. When they were my age (now) both my grandmothers were in business--one managed several farms, the other a small call-in service to pick up and remove dead animals.

12. Neither was the huggy, smoochy type, but both knew how to soothe a crying baby.

13. Both were married over 60 years, one over 70.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Friday Family Photo--Biggie

Sunday I was moving winter coats to storage when I pulled out a forgotten maroon, hand-knit, zip front sweater in a dry cleaner bag that had belonged to my husband's grandfather, Stanley, or Biggie as he was known to his grandchildren. I think I have the story straight when I say that the oldest grandchild, whose name is Norma Lou, gave him that nickname. Probably because she was little and he was "big." She was raised by her grandparents; her cousins, my husband and his sister, visited on week-ends. These three little ones were all children of divorce, so Biggie was the one monumental and consistent male figure in their lives. Yes, he was BIG. The whole family always called them "Neno and Biggie," and so did I (although I never knew his grandfather).

I decided to take the sweater out of the bag and check for moth holes because it is 100% wool and probably close to 90-100 years old. It was made at a time when knitting or sewing for the family was just a feature of the homemaker's life, a necessity rather than a "craft." (Neno had been a police woman before marriage.) I had a vague recollection of my husband wearing it on very cold days back in the 70s (when all the talk was about global cooling and we couldn't keep our house warm enough), and I think I used to occasionally wear it to work in the 80s because we couldn't control the air conditioning in Sisson Hall. Frankly, I'm not sure either one of us could get this sweater zipped today. And no, the dry cleaners didn't shrink it. It would definitely be an XXS in either a men's or women's size.

The item on the sweater is Biggie's gold pocket watch, and we don't have much else that belonged to him. When I asked my husband where it was, he couldn't remember, but then found it in the first box he checked--along with the silver cuff links we bought our son for his wedding or graduation--don't recall which--and a few other odd items.) The photo below is Biggie, Neno and brother Jimmy, and was probably taken about 1948.





There seems to be a strong family resemblance--photo of my husband at about the same age in 2003.

Sunday, January 04, 2009

How do you find the time, Part 2

These are tips on how to be a good non-grandparent. I'm a little new at this, so if you don't have grandchildren, perhaps you have more ideas. I always thought I'd be one.

1. Find some friends in the same boat. These people might be available for movies and dinner out. We find grandparents have a very tough time scheduling because they are always on call. If dinner is at 7 p.m., they'll call at 6:55 with an emergency and you're already at the restaurant.

2. Find some new friends whose grandchildren are grown and live out of town. They still might not be around on holidays, because even college age grandchildren sometimes drop in for a day or two for 3 hots and a cot. However, these days even gramps might be checking the e-mail and texting his grandson. Be patient. You'd be doing the same if it were you. There's a corollary: if you meet someone who moved to your town to be near their grandchildren, it might be best to just pencil them in. If they made that kind of effort to be near the grandchildren, they aren't looking for a social life.

3. Meet grandparents your age somewhere neutral. We recently tried this with my sister-in-law and husband. We had to drive 100 miles to a Bob Evans, but we had an uninterrupted meal and a good time. We did get to talk to our nieces via the cell phone who found us at the restaurant. And no clean up!

4. Always ask about the grandchildren and admire the photographs. This works best, for some reason, right after "Hello, it's great to see you." These are the days of digital cameras and even the cell phones are loaded either with stills or video. Grannies are getting very good with this technology. It's a whole lot more interesting than the back surgery, arthritis or golf game.

5. We contribute money to causes that will save lives of children. We're the stand-in grandparents who didn't insist on aborting, but who think shacking up is a dumb idea for the long term solution. And say so. We know that you can't overcome poverty, AIDS, poor reading skills or autism by killing the children before you know what the outcome will be. Besides, haven't you noticed how many middle class children are now afflicted with the very problems we used to think only other people had?

Friday, April 06, 2007

3663

Fat Grandmothers

I had none. I'm so fortunate that I had both my paternal and maternal grandparents in my life, and my great-grandparents lived just a few doors away when I was very young. My grandmothers weren't fat, or even plump or curvy. If your grandmother is a member of my generation, you probably can't say that.

Today I was reading "Aging, adiposity, and calorie restriction," by Luigi Fontana and Samuel Klein in the March 7, 2007 JAMA. It's a very cautious and conservative review of the literature from 1966 through December 2006 in PubMed (the largest and most famous medical literature database) which concludes from all the studies done on calorie restriction in the last 40 years that calorie restriction in adult men and women causes beneficial metabolic, hormonal, and functional changes, but (and here's the cautious part) the precise amount of calorie intake or body fat mass associated with optimal health and longevity in humans is not known. And after laying out all this fabulous research (139 citations), the authors take a buy-out and decide that because calorie restriction is difficult to maintain long-term, we might have to turn to a pharmacological agent for a solution. Cha-ching. There's no money in eating less, moving more.

That's what got me thinking about my grandmothers, both of whom lived to their late 80s. One was born in 1876 and the other in 1895, young enough to be the other's daughter (my great grandmother was born in 1873), a time when life expectancy at birth was about 45. Their generations benefited from better hygiene, but I doubt that either ever had a vaccination. It's possible that very late in life they might have had an antibiotic. I don't know much about their early lives, but given the times, I'm sure they were both breast fed by non-smoking mothers. They didn't give birth in hospitals. They both lived their childhood and early married life on farms a few miles from each other, but didn't work in the fields. Housework, however, was much more physical in those days. I use Grandma Mary's pressing irons as book-ends--they were heated on the cookstove and weigh 10-15 lbs. Water was pumped outside and carried in to be heated either in the stove or on it. Grandma Mary was wealthier than Grandma Bessie and did have a German woman as household help, but they would've worked side by side. And both gardened (potatoes, carrots, cabbage, tomatoes, beans, turnips) and raised chickens for meat and eggs. Root crops could be stored, and beans and tomatoes were canned for winter, but table fare was pretty bland and boring. Both women baked their own bread. Beef was not on the table in either household. Grandma Mary rarely served meat, except chicken occasionally, and Grandma Bessie would have only had fatty pork, sausage, or a tough old chicken, too old to lay. Cows were for milk (cash crop) and butter (for cooking), and when you think about it, they were much more difficult to butcher for a single family than a pig or chicken. There wasn't even much in the way of fruit, maybe a few apples, grapes for juice or berries.

According to the authors, the first calorie restriction study was done in 1935 when it was discovered that limiting calories in lab rats increased their life span by 30-60%. Food shortages during WWII in some European countries were associated with a sharp decrease in coronary heart disease, and although this article didn't mention it, I've seen reports like that on breast cancer. Again, the authors use cautious language, but say "population studies suggest that lifestyle factors, such as sedentary lifestyle, dietary intake, and adiposity, are responsible for up to 70% of chronic disease and are a major contributor to reduced longevity. . . data suggest that a BMI at the low end of normal (18.5-24.9) is associated with optimal metabolic and cardiovascular health."

Friday Family Photo



Before she was married, my grandmother Mary painted in oils. She probably had private lessons, because I think the school in Ashton, IL would have been too small to offer art. In one of her account books from the 1890s I found notations for art supplies and studio rent. This painting of iris hangs in my aunt's home. I can only remember three of her paintings framed and hanging in the farm house, but they were wonderful, so there must have been many leading up to those that weren't kept or framed.

In Grandma's little community of Ashton, IL (her family lived on a farm, but that was the school district), at 25 and unmarried, she was considered an "old-maid." Her deepest desire was to be a teacher, but not only were married women kept out of the classroom, but so were single women whose father could support them, or so she told me. Mary lived at home and worked as her father's bookkeeper and managed the house (her mother had died in 1898). The median age of women at marriage in the United States was twenty-two in 1890, but for college educated women the median was over twenty-five. My grandparents (he'd been off on an adventure in the northwest but they knew each other from college days) were married in September 1901, when Mary was 25 and Charles 27. The young couple did not see a future in Illinois managing any of her father's property and so they moved to Wichita, KS after their marriage where he had relatives.

Grandfather Charles' sister and brother-in law, Alice and J. Edwin Jay lived in Wichita where Uncle Edwin was on the Faculty of the Friends' University. Charles opened a feed store, the West Side Mill, at 811 West Douglas. They bought a house at 2007 Hancock where Mary earned money by renting rooms to students from the Friends' University (she later did this in 1934 at the University of Illinois during the Depression). She audited some classes at the University until her first pregnancy began to show and appearing in public was considered unseemly. They returned to Illinois after the deaths of their second son in 1907 and of her brother Ira in 1908 to help her father.

I like to think she may have continued her painting in Kansas, but I just don't know. She was a bit of a health nut and probably thought (correctly) the fumes from the linseed oil, turpentine and oil paints weren't safe during her pregnancies and then stopped altogether.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Friday Family Photo--Veterans Day

When you go home
Tell them of us, and say,
For your tomorrow
We gave our today
Kohima Epitaph

Across the nation we're observing Veterans Day, November 11, which memorializes the end of WWI (armistice was the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month in 1918), and honors all veterans of the armed services. Today's photos are my Uncle Clare looking sharp and spiffy in his dress uniform in New Orleans and home on leave with his parents. He was 32 when he went into the Army Air Force in 1942. I think he could have had an exemption because he was a farmer and essentially was managing the Illinois and Iowa farms for his parents who were 68 and 66, and doing all the physical work on the home place. But I think he also saw the war as an opportunity to do some of the things he'd always dreamed of--he was a fabulous mechanic and loved airplanes. I have a dim memory of my mother telling me he couldn't be a pilot because of a hearing problem, but was trained for photographic mapping, and was an aerial engineer for the 24th Mapping Squadron of the 8th Photo Group, Reconnaissance (10th Air Force) which served in the China, Burma, India theater.

In New Orleans


With his parents, on the Franklin Grove farm


On a Geocities site I found the following information about this squadron: "The 8th Photographic Reconaissance Group arrived in India on 31 March 1944, assuming operational control of the 9th Photographic Reconaissance Squadron, 20th Tactical Reconaissance Squadron and 24th Combat Mapping Squadron on 25 April 1944, with the 40th Photgraphic Reconaissance Squadron joining the unit on 6 September 1944.

The main mission of the units attached to the 8th Photographic Reconaissance Group was to gather phtographs to be used in making target maps, assessing target damage and identifying potential targets"

Clare and a pilot were killed in an explosion when the plane hit a gasoline supply, through the stupidity of his commanding officer who insisted the men go up in a blinding storm. No one else in that unit lost his life and we found out how Clare died when a great nephew attended one of their reunions. I'm glad my grandparents never knew since they suffered this loss so terribly the rest of their lives (died in 1963 and 1968).

Searching the internet I found lists of accident reports, alphabetic by name of the soldier or civilian--thousands and thousands died in accidents--and his name is listed. Also found this report of USAAF Serial Numbers, "64105 (F-7A, 8th BRG, 24th CMS) w/o on takeoff accident at Hsing Hing, China Oc 29, 1944" which I assume was his plane since nothing else matches the date.

Originally buried near Chengtu, China after his death on October, 29, 1944, Uncle Clare came home on the Honda Knot in 1947 (I found this information on a Lee County, IL obituary web site) with over 200,000 dead soldiers and sailors with fighter escorts and awaiting dignitaries. While we waited in rural Illinois to bury him with other family in Ashton, he was being welcomed home in San Francisco:

"In San Francisco, a similar ceremony took place under an overcast October sky as the army transport ship Honda Knot slipped through the frigid waters beneath the Golden Gate Bridge into San Francisco Bay. An aerial escort of forty-eight fighter planes flew over the vessel before dipping their wings in salute and banking away. Surface ships from the Coast Guard and the Navy approached the Honda Knot and led her through a misting rain to anchorage off Marina Point, where a gathering of five thousand mourners waited to pay tribute to the war dead that the ship was delivering home to American soil from the Pacific theater. A navy launch approached the Honda Knot and offered another massive wreath from President Truman. Dignitaries in the audience included Army General Mark Clark, who had led American troops in Italy during the war, and the Secretary of the Navy John L. Sullivan, who honored these fallen heroes, many of whom had passed under the Golden Gate Bridge on ships bound for the Pacific war. Six of the 3,012 flag-draped coffins aboard the Honda Knot were removed the next day to lie in state in the rotunda of San Francisco’s city hall, where ordinary citizens of a sorrowful nation paid their last respects. The six dead represented servicemen from the Army, the Navy, the Marine Corps, the Air Force, and the Coast Guard, along with a civilian, all killed in the war. From the early morning until late that night, thousands of mourners filed by the coffins of knelt in prayer by their sides. The arrival of the Honda Knot and the Joseph V. Connolly officially initiated what one observer called the "most melancholy immigration movement in the history of man," the return to the United States of 233,181 American dead after the end of World War II. America's army of fallen warriors was coming home from the four corners of the earth, from Guadalcanal and Australia, from New Guinea, Japan, China, and Burma in the Pacific theater. From the Mediterranean theater men were returned from Libya, Sicily, Italy, Yugoslavia, and Romania. The bodies of men who had died in France, Belgium, Luxembourg, and Germany also came home. David Colley site

Clare is listed on this memorial site for the 10th Air Force.

Update: The National Archives has a site for WWII Honor List of Dead and Missing. You select by branch of the military, then by state, then by county. I found Uncle Clare, although his name was misspelled.

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Friday, September 15, 2006

Friday Family Photo

This group of young college students, ca. 1895, were enjoying the social contacts made through their "boarding club," at Mt. Morris College in Mt. Morris, IL. I know they don't look thrilled to be there, but I think that's because photography still required the subjects to be quiet still. The older woman in the middle of the group is the "house mother," probably a local widow who opened her home and supplied the meals for a small income. Many of the student would have also roomed at homes in the community.



My maternal grandparents probably met this way, she is in the upper left, next to her future brother-in-law, and he is in the lower right. Grandma was from Ashton, about 20 miles away and probably used a train to travel back and forth, but Grandpa was from near Dayton, Ohio, (Jamton, which no longer exists) and I am told that he and his brother bicycled from the Dayton area to get to Mt. Morris. Bicycles were still fairly new then and long distance travel was not unusual, especially with clubs. Their materials and innovations and the rider's sense of freedom and independence really paved the way for the automobile, and many early bicycle makers became auto makers.

One of the things I find interesting in this photo is the clothing. It looks rather plain to us in the 21st century, but these young people were most likely members of the German Baptist Brethren (later called Church of the Brethren), but none are dressed "in order," the word "order" meaning discipline and separation. For men this might be suits without ties or lapels, and for women dresses with no adornment and prayer coverings over the hair. I would need to check with an historian of this group, but it is possible that they did not dress "in order" until they were baptised which may have been in adulthood.

After one year of college, Grandma went home to Ashton to manage her father's farm home because her mother died, but she did continue with her painting and took private lessons. Grandpa and his brother after two years of college headed west, taught school along the way in the Dakotas, worked as lumberjacks in the northwest, and tried to get into Alaska for the gold rush. Eventually the young adventurers returned to the midwest. My grandparents got together to renew a college friendship (he was probably out of money), and married in 1901.

Update: Modern view on anabaptist dress.



Friday, August 25, 2006

Friday Family Photo

This is my husband, about age 4 or 5, his sister Jean, and cousin Norma Lou with their grandfather, whom they all called "Biggie." He was much adored, and my husband still talks about him 60+ years later. Norma lived with her grandparents and my husband and siblings stayed with them almost every week-end.



Their grandparents were a part of their lives in ways I couldn't even imagine, because these little ones all had divorced and remarried parents. I had six grandparents and thought they were just nice relatives whom we visited every Sunday so I could see my cousins. I really grew to appreciate my grandparents when I became an adult and understood the difficulties and joys of their lives better. And I was fortunate to have them many years--I was 43 when my paternal grandparents died, and 21 when my great-grandmother died.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

2409 For Family Only

The rest of you won't care about this photo, but I'm just thrilled to have it. So just move along--if you don't like sappy and sentimental.


When I opened the envelope tears came to my eyes. I had seen this photo flash by in a DVD made by my second cousin (we have the same great-grand parents). I contacted her aunt to find out who they were. She wasn't sure, but said she'd find out. And then the photo arrived with a note from my cousin. This is the wedding photo of my grandmother's grandparents of Jefferson County, TN, James and Mary Ann Elizabeth Williford. It looks like it's been through some hard times--that it had been folded, and chipped, and maybe a cup or something placed on it. I don't know its provenance. Only one granddaughter of this couple is still living, the sister of my grandmother--she's 91 and I visited her last year. She probably has a copy of this, or this is a copy of hers. There are so many things I don't know about this couple that I'd like to ask.

So I go into my genealogy software and look them up. I found out quite a bit about this family on the internet some years ago because in Tennessee during the Depression there was an attempt to record family information from old Bibles, and that has since been put on the internet by county. James and Mary Ann Elizabeth had nine children. Leanor, my great-grandmother, was only 10 years old when her father, the handsome young bridegroom of this photo, died. I knew her. Used to run down the street and sit on her front porch swing and listen to her soft Southern drawl and gentle laugh. By then she'd probably buried those hurts of 60 years before. Why would she have even mentioned such a sadness to a little five year old whose own daddy was off in a war? How did such a large family survive with only a woman to head the household? James' father was over 50 years old when he was born, so how much help could they have been if still alive? Even my grandmother, Bessie, born in 1895, didn't know this couple. They had both died before she was born. For many years Grandma Bessie was our family archive--her phenomenal memory could retrieve the stories with ease. After her death, we'd ask my father. When he died it was like the library had been burned, and my paltry software is no match for the stories he heard from his parents and grandparents and at the Tennessee Reunions that were held in northern Illinois for many years.

However, we don't know what we don't know do we? So we don't ask.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Monday Memories

Grandma's farm

Did I ever tell you about Sunday night suppers?

Thirty years ago, my children thought eating sandwiches and potato chips for Sunday night supper on trays in the living room was just about the most exciting treat ever! That’s because we didn’t do it very often. Our only TV was in the living room, so they probably watched a Disney show. I was pretty strict about eating together as a family, and even for breakfast, the table was set. By 1976 the lime green shag living room carpet (we didn’t have a family room until 1982) was about four years old, so we probably didn’t do it at all when it was new (and they would have been too small to manage a tray much before that).

When I was a child in the 1950s, Sunday night suppers were special, too. Oh, Mom made wonderful dinners--my mouth waters as I think of it. She’d put the roast in before we went to church or she fixed fried chicken when she got home. The table in the dining room in our house on Hannah Avenue or in our Forreston home would be set with the white linen table cloth and the good white china with a gold rim. Dad would always say the prayer--and I would know the ending if I heard it today, but I‘ve forgotten it now. I’m sure there were mashed potatoes and gravy and vegetables and fruit from the cellar where she kept the home canned items in gleaming glass jars. Even though at the time I didn’t think the clean up and dishes were so great (no one had dishwashers then and she had 3 daughters), I remember that fondly now as a time to chat with Mom.

As good as dinner was at noon, Sunday night with various relatives stopping by was especially nice. Can’t even remember now what we had--maybe sandwiches or left-overs, perhaps a second helping of her fabulous apple pie. But it was casual and relaxed. And occasionally Daddy would disappear and come back with 2 pints of ice cream (we had a refrigerator, but no freezer). We children would just die of excitement and try to guess the flavor until he would get back. Mom would slice the two pints into six even portions and put them into cereal bowls. You wanted it to last as long as possible, but Dad ate quickly and would look in our bowls with his spoon poised and tease, “Do you need any help finishing that?”

Also, I know my Grandmother Mary was without electricity for only a short time after WWII at her farm in Franklin Grove, but I remember Sunday evening suppers in the 1940s of sandwiches on trays by kerosene lamp. Grandma wasn’t much of a cook, but I thought her baloney sandwiches spread thick with butter (we had neither at our house) were a fabulous treat. After a supper of sandwiches, her homemade grape juice from her backyard arbor, and factory canned peaches in dainty little glass dishes, we’d load up the car and start down the gravel lane for home. I’d press my nose against the car window and watch Grandma waving good-bye from the porch silhouetted against the flickering kerosene light in the kitchen.

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