2371 Decade of nightmares or his years of lost dreams?

Philip Jenkins' Decade of Nightmares which redefines the 1960s to be 1964-1973 (death of JFK to resignation of Nixon) and the 1980s as the Carter-Reagan presidencies is an interesting study on how everything is the fault (or credit) of the conservatives, even the successes in the pop culture, politics and media that only look liberal. Whoever called this author a Christian neo-con must have been looking at a few books back, or else he's had a huge conversion going the other direction on the Road to Damascus. Chapter 6 is the wildest paen of praise to Jimmy Carter that I've ever read. It's so full of shoulda, coulda, woulda and crediting him with establishing the ground work for everything good that Reagan accomplished, that I had to pinch myself to make sure I'd lived through those years and had voted for Jimmy Carter twice and President Reagan never.

To take Jenkins point of view seriously, all the liberals should be ashamed that they haven't made a bit of progress since 1973--all these inroads women have made in sports or establishing abortion clinics, or blacks in business and academe, or gays in marriage and shifting huge federal investments to AIDS--pffft--give the conservatives all the credit (sarcasm alert here, for those of you who only read every third line). Reducing welfare and crime during Clinton's years? Gun control? Environmental red tape? Running religion out out of the schools? All because of conservatives and their crazy paranoia forcing their hand. If I were to accept Jenkins' thesis, I'd have to believe that nothing good came out of those years of Democratic control of our government because it was all just reactionary bungling caused by the Republicans who undid all those wonderful plans laid in the wonderful 1960s (which was really 1964-1973).

I pay a lot of attention to words. In context and out of context. Here's some phrases Jenkins uses for the right: archaic ideas, conspiracy interpretations, messy, disaster, growing mythology, diabolical claims, darkening vision, desperate measures, targeted regimes, allowed them to boast, powerful motives, distortion. And now the left: strong fight, social reform, a shift gone wrong, unjust power relations, the goal, curious, oddity, sexual frankness, social mainstream, overconfidence, political victories, engines of social change.

Pop culture buffs are going to think he doesn't give enough space or credit to films, TV, books, etc., but it was way more than enough for me. I'd seen a few of the films he mentions like Rocky and The way we were, but really, your mileage will vary depending on how much you let Hollywood influence you. I am a bit surprised that his book has had so little attention. Possibly he's not strident enough or too scholarly (it's well written and referenced) for today's political climate? Maybe no one cares?

Decade of Nightmares
Philip Jenkins
The Sixties
The Seventies
Reagan presidency
Republicans
popular culture

2370 Gas Prices in Ohio

If I've heard one report today on gas prices, I've heard five. But I was also printing out my blog--I'm a bit behind, so I was doing October. Lookee here. October 14, 2005. The reasons we filled up that night in Oregon, was that prices had dropped considerably, and we thought we'd better grab it before they went back up. Right now it's about $2.65 here in Columbus.

"We filled up Wednesday evening in Oregon, Il at $2.79/gal and by the time we got to Columbus, it was $2.59. Also we got 27 mpg in my mini-van due to the better roads we have now. One of the Chicago radio stations was telling us to get better gas mileage by reducing our speed to 55 mph, but the limit for cars in Illinois and Indiana interstates is 70 (65 in Ohio), and I really doubt that we'd do better than 27. I don't know what you're driving, but I'm pretty sure a 1965 sedan got about 10-12 mpg."

gasoline prices

2369 Photos of illegals demonstrating for rights they don't have and don't deserve

Bridges to nowhere. Gender politics. Pork Barrel Polkas. Deranged fringe elements of both parties. Killing the unborn legally with impunity. Really, I thought I'd seen every disaster our Congress could move out of committee, but this immigration thing takes the cake, doesn't it? And it's not immigration. That's what you do when it is legal.

Today I asked the Pakistani clerk at the grocery store and the Ghanian clerk at the department store, both of whom are here legally, have become citizens, and have relatives back home waiting on quotas, what they thought of this. "United States of Mexico" said the one; the other just rolled her eyes.

I am first and most mad at our do nothing Congress who can think no further than the next election. And then the President. What idiots. How can we fight insurgents in Iraq when we can't even keep out 11,000,000 "labor insurgents" in our own country? What must our brave service men and women be thinking? Particularly those who have shortened their residency requirements to become citizens by joining up to defend and protect us. Now they're being asked to defend a group large enough to be a 51st state who are illegal aliens?

Secondly, I'm angry at the American businesses who would employ these people because they are cheap and will work without benefits. It's like prostitution. It doesn't exist if only one group participates.

Third, I'm angry at the socialist/communist/progressive coalition who is gleefully rubbing their hands together, organizing "spontaneous" demonstrations and illegally registering these people to vote so they can tie up our next election in law suits. I heard them recruiting on a local call in radio show Saturday. The guy was so excited I thought he'd wet himself.

Fourth, I'm disappointed that the Democrats don't even see that #3 is stealing their party right out from under them.

Fifth, I'm furious at the Republicans because in a tight situation when leadership is called for they can only dither, wring their hands, wimp out, wet a finger and see if the wind is blowing their way.

Sixth, the border states' governments can't be absolved of responsibility. These millions of illegals didn't show up last year, or even the last decade. On a local radio show I heard a man who formerly worked in Arizona say illegals were given one-way bus tickets to northern states, which might explain why all our Ohio construction firms, landscape crews and restaurant kitchens speak only Spanish. So why a ticket north? It's too expensive (involving the INS, housing them, retaining them, food and medical care, to keep them in the border states until they can be returned to Mexico).

Seventh, our schools aren't doing such a hot job if these people don't know their history or ours and think our border states were once are part of Mexico. (Spain maybe, but never just a blip in time, Mexico.)

Eighth, I think it stinks that there are a lot of Americans who want a permanent underclass of maids to clean toilets and Pedros to pick tomatoes so they can vote Democratic in hopes of getting perks.

Ninth, the Mexican government and Mexico's wealthy, light-skinned, European power class can be blamed for not wanting to create wealth for their own darker skinned, mixed race poor. This mess could be resolved on the other side of the border through a few political improvements (maybe we could send them a Kennedy/Pelosi dog and pony show?)

Tenth, schools and businesses that have given their students and employees a pass to participate should be ashamed and don't deserve their position of responsibilty. The school administrators should be put on leave or fired; the businesses should be boycotted. They are stealing the American dream right out from under the very people they think they are helping.

illegal aliens
immigration
Mexico
politics as usual

Monday Memories

Did I ever tell you about our Easter egg tradition?
It's dead. This year I bought phony Easter eggs. Well, as phony as imitation colored eggs delivered by a rabbit could be. Turquoise, white, brown, pink and all plastic. I've arranged them in a little painted wooden wheelbarrow made by someone in China who was probably wondering what strange American custom required such a small garden implement. I didn't notice until I took them out of the package--a cute little fake wooden crate with make believe straw--that they had plastic strings so I could hang them on a bush or tree. Bunnies and eggs are pagan symbols that the Christian church absorbed years ago from some Germanic tribes who wanted to keep their own traditions of the Spring equinox. Easter bushes and trees, however, I'm sure were the invention of an American entrepreneur. But the little bunnies and eggs are sort of cute and a sure sign of Spring even if they have no spiritual meaning.



These days I have no one for whom to make an Easter basket. And even when my son's step-daughter was a part of our family, I can't remember if she ever colored eggs at our house. We probably just put candy and presents in a basket. Counting us, the poor little girl had eleven grandparents, so we really weren't needed for her holiday traditions, but she made ours more fun.

When my husband and I were children we always colored eggs for Easter on Saturday. In the kitchen. With lots of newspapers on the table. The dye came in little tablets sealed in cellophane in a cardboard package that cost about 39 cents. The package included cut-outs for ears and collars, little transfers for faces or scenes to put on a colored egg, and a wax white crayon for designing our own scheme. Our mothers would boil the eggs gently so there wouldn't be cracks. Then they poured hot water in a coffee cup with some vinegar and dropped in the tablets and gave us teaspoons so we could ease the hard cooked egg into the cup while stirring gently. At least that was the plan. We were soon moving the eggs from cup to cup, maybe getting a lovely purple going from blue to red, or violet going red to blue, or ending up with a hopeless dull gray from too many trips to and dips in a different cup. There was also a small wire loop to dip the egg half in one color and half in another. We'd apply the little transfers when the egg was dry so we'd have bunnies, or chickens with eyes, noses, or beaks. Then we'd add hats or collars.

At my home, we never got candy or chocolate that I can remember, but my husband's relatives did give the children jelly beans and chocolates. Early Sunday morning, our mothers would hide the eggs in the house and we'd search for them before going to church (often with new shoes or hat or gloves because people dressed up in the old days to worship God and left their faded jeans and torn t-shirts in the basement or garage). I'm not sure we even had baskets to gather the eggs (my husband did, he says), but the eggs could be found under couch cushions or in the drawers with the table linen, or inside the piano bench.

When my children were little, we had a very similar routine of coloring eggs and hiding them. One year we couldn't find one until weeks later when it started to smell--it was hidden in the bathroom under the plumber's helper. As they got older, I think we added some foil wrapped candy and bought baskets with pink and green fake grass. In 1973 we hid the eggs outside because my sister's family was visiting so we had 4 additional children coloring eggs. Another year when they were about 5 or 6 we took them to the "community egg roll." Ours is an affluent, suburban community, so our family was horrified to see hundreds of children swarming and screaming and beating on each other like they were starving in a mad scramble to grab the most foil covered candy eggs. My son came back to me crying because one little boy had snatched away from him the only egg he was able to find. We never went to another egg hunt and continued with our own little homegrown celebration that we had learned from our mothers back in the 40s.

Easter egg hunt 1973 in the apple blossoms

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2367 Don't count on it

This poem was posted at Sherri's site; she used to be a children's librarian, and I've learned so much about "kiddie lit" reading her blog that I didn't know. I took no courses in children's literature when I was in library school, and as near as I can tell, I didn't even read what others my age did, nor did I read much to my kids that was popular and recommended in the 70s (I liked My Book House when I was growing up and that's also what I read to my kids.)

The Reading Mother

I had a mother who read to me
Sagas of pirates who scoured the sea,
Cutlasses clenched in their yellow teeth,
“Blackbirds” stowed in the hold beneath.

I had a Mother who read me lays
Of ancient and gallant and golden days;
Stories of Marmion and Ivanhoe,
Which every boy has a right to know.

I had a Mother who read me tales
Of Gelert the hound of the hills of Wales,
True to his trust till his tragic death,
Faithfulness blent with his final breath.

I had a Mother who read me the things
That wholesome life to the boy heart brings —
Stories that stir with an upward touch,
Oh, that each mother of boys were such!

You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be —
I had a Mother who read to me. - Strickland Gillilan

I've heard or seen this poem before--maybe on bookmarks, and I think I've remembered it because it doesn't reflect my own experience. My son doesn't read unless it is work related or concerns his hobby, and doesn't have a library card. My daughter has certain favorite authors, none of whom I've read, and she only buys books; I doubt if she has a library card. My husband uses the public library about once every two years. He read a book word-for-word recently, because one chapter was about him and his work. I go the the public library once or twice a week and to the OSU Libraries several times a month. I only read fiction if it is assigned in book club and there are several genres I've never tried nor do I want to. We all lived together, breathed the same air, and talked about the same things. If having a "reading mother" or wife made a bit of difference to my family, I haven't seen it.

My own theory is that you pop out of the womb with your learning style set to enjoy print on a page. Or not. If it brings you pleasure when something stimulates it, you'll continue to seek that experience. It can be thwarted or encouraged, but it can't be created. But reading aloud to children is always good for cuddle time even if they don't get much from the books, so keep that in mind.
From this site

reading

2366 Corbett National Park

It's in India. Here. Ecotourism.

2365 Love your dog--in your own space

If you think solving the illegal immigration problem is tough, the Columbus City Council has been going around and around for two years about leash laws and dog parks. I try to go back to the origin of a problem, and it is always the owners, never the dogs. I ask myself,

"Why do people get puppies they know will grow up to be huge and which will need space to run if they live in areas where that can't happen?

Why do they want the rest of us to cough up $500,000 for special parks so their miniature horse sized pets can run because the owner is too blessed lazy to take the pet elephant out for a run with a plastic bag in hand?

Why do people let dogs run in public areas when they know darn well Fido won't come on command if he spots a squirrel or a smaller dog?

Why do people who own dogs, large or small, always think "My dog won't bite," or "My dog won't knock down a small child and break his leg," or "My dog won't drive everyone with half a brain for safety away from a public park," when all the evidence is to the contrary?

The answers to all the above is ignorance about animal behavior mixed with bad manners, rudeness, and a sense of entitlement so common in our society.

Folks! Listen up. Any dog will bite if he or she senses danger or spots something to eat. You are not a dog and you don't see that a small child's movement may signal something totally different to a canine. This article I'm quoting below is about YOU! The 5,000 owners.

“[Dr. Aaron] Messer said an estimated 5,000 people in Columbus are bitten by dogs each year, a majority of which are children. Mark Young, assistant director of the city's Recreation and Parks Department, said many people call his department, concerned about unleashed dogs running around. [Includes details about barking, defecating, knocking down children, chasing bicyclers, attacking other dogs.] “ SNP Publications March 31, 2004

The photo in today's paper shows two adults, one with a lab type dog, the other with a mastiff mix. The adults are hovering over these calf size animals; the child in the picture whose shoulder is about at the dog's shoulder is being ignored and seems to be looking for some space to run and play that would be safe and free of dog feces. Unfortunately these people seem to love dogs more than children.

Man's best friend

dogbites
Columbus Dispatch
leash laws
dog parks
child safety

2364 Why?

would a young woman want to desecrate her natural beauty for this look? I couldn't take my eyes off her. A gray t-shirt 3 sizes too small that wouldn't cover the roll bulging over the top of her too tight, ugly jeans. Of course, every woman knows the reason. We dress for other women, not men. And at 16 or 17, this is what she sees the tall, willowy popular girls wearing. So about 80% who look awful in this are following the 10% who look fabulous and the 10% who look so-so. But I've seen worse at church.

Scene and seen at Panera's.

teen fashions

2363 Palm Sunday

The choir sang two songs at two services this morning, with a small brass ensemble of 5 or 6. Much of this, like processing up the center aisle, or trying to sing with a trombone in the ear is new to me, but I'm still enjoying it. We're singing at three services on Easter and also at the Maundy Thursday service and the Good Friday evening service. The pastor's sermon this morning was on pride (we're doing a 7 deadly sins series), and he used the example of the donkey carrying the King. He was on jury duty this week and spent some of his waiting time rereading the account of the final week in all four gospels. He said the donkey appears in all of them, although some details aren't included in all four.

Then we drove to our son's home on the far southeast side of the metropolitan area for a birthday celebration for my husband. He fixed a fabulous bacon and cheese lasagne--I'd never heard of it, but everyone raved about it. He also baked the bread. I think the 5 of us ate the whole loaf, which was still warm. My daughter brought a tossed salad and I brought a rhubarb pie and a peanut butter-chocolate dessert. He loves to garden so I'm assuming the sauce was his home grown and canned.


Some neighbors stopped by trying to get him to take a puppy--a pit bull. They are cute, but not safe. That will make some of you mad because you have one and she's wonderful, great with kids, yada, yada. But my years in the vet library taught me otherwise. I would never risk having a German Shepherd, a Chow, a Pit Bull, a Doberman, a part wolf or some of those other aggressive, boistrous breeds around children or other dogs, my own or anyone else's. Not only would I not want to see a child or pet hurt, I wouldn't want the law suit. Youth and maleness are the main reason for dog bites: young human males owning young male dogs who bite younger male children. Mix that with an aggressive, possessive breed and you're in trouble.

It's not every day I can mix singing, lasagne and dogs into one post.

2362 The DaVinci Clubbers

Stacey makes some good points at her blog about all the nonsense floating around like the DaVinci Code book and movie and the lengths people will go to try to disprove the resurrection. Just be prepared to turn down her music when you arrive there. (She must be young.)

"If these men truly don't believe that Jesus is God's son and died on the cross for our salvation, then why are they spending so much time/money/energy trying to disprove it? I don't believe in Santa Claus, but you don't see me doing extensive research and wasting countless hours trying to disprove his existence.
They are just making it all so complicated when the truth is simple: you can either accept Jesus as your saviour and spend eternity in heaven with Him, or reject Him and suffer the consequences." You go girl.

My friend Peggy who is a strong, well-informed Christian who reads a lot, read the DaVinci Code, found it interesting, exciting fiction, although plodding and not particularly well-written. Well educated, devout Christians like her know it is pure fiction; it's the weak and the Chreasters (attend on Christmas and Easter) I worry about--like my kids. They won't get my money at the box office, not even when it comes to the 50 cent night at our local has-been theater. Like any product of questionable honesty, if you buy it, you have voted for it.

2361 At the coffee shop

I saw a young woman with anorexia in line. Unlike many with her disease, her clothes weren't too large. But her bony fingers and toothpick legs indicated her hunger was now eating muscle, not fat stores, regardless of how much running and exercise she did. Her bony spine was curved and her face had some discoloration. With breast implants and the right make-up, she could be a model.

She bought a huge box of pastries. I wondered if they were for a morning gathering or if she was going to gobble them down in the car and then throw them up later.

2360 Families United for Our Troops

Families United for Our Troops and Their Mission is a not-for-profit 501(c)(4) organization. They are a grassroots coalition of Gold Star families, veterans, families with loved ones in harm's way, and Americans who support our men and women in uniform. I signed on as an ordinary American. I have no family in the military.

"Collectively we will ensure that the sacrifices our courageous warriors have made are not in vain, and that the heroic soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines who have been charged with such a vital mission will be given the support they need to complete their mission. The members of our organization know well why these brave individuals choose to serve. We know that these humble Americans leave their homes and loved ones with the knowledge that they are making the world a safer place. And we know that these dedicated service members are committed, first and foremost, to seeing their mission through to completion."

Their blog is here. They will be celebrating Iraq Liberation Day April 9. These mothers who have lost a child don't get the publicity that Sheehan does, but they should.

2359 Ugly at any price!

Wall Street Journal real estate ads fascinate me. Today I saw one for a "villa" in Highland Beach, Florida. I think the bargain was $7.5 million and the upscale model was $9 million. 6,500 sq. ft. with beach view, which is good because you'd never want to actually see this, and if it faces the water, no one would. It's so ugly, blogger.com refused to load it the first 2 times I tried! Anyway, you can contact Greg and Cindy at Seasideagents.com if you want something at this price, uglier than your neighbor's Hummer.
If you go north a bit to St. Augustine in Florida you can get a 3 BR, 2 BA home with views of the lst fairway at Marsh Creek Country Club in a gated community with a clubhouse, pool and 18 hole golf course for "only" $580,000. I think I'd check on the hurricane patterns. Although I don't want a home in Florida, I'd say it looks like a better deal, and the photo, although a bit fuzzy, was nice too.

However, for my money, and maybe because I've been watching "Upstairs Downstairs" from this era, the 1917 home near the University of Chicago that overlooks the park (Hyde Park?) and has a doorman for $895,000 looked good. It has 6 BR, 4BA and 5,000 sq. ft and is a co-op. This is at www.century21krm.com

2358 What are you doing with your free time?

Did you know that on the average, today's worker has roughly eight to ten weeks more of leisure time per year than we did 40 years ago? That is reported in the April Kiplinger's Personal Finance in an interview with Erik Hurst, a professor of economics at the University of Chicago. I've checked the on-line version, but this interview wasn't available. But here's a link to the author at his college's website discussing the same topic. Here's a link to The Economist with additional information on the study. The time saving has come primarily through changes in household chores and labor saving appliances, and these have been tracked meticulously since 1965 by economists, so the information is different than what the government statistics show about time on the job.



So why do people feel so rushed and harried? This is my opinion, not the study's:

• I believe multi-tasking is counter productive in the long run. You may be saving time, driving to work while listening to a conference report, and picking up your knitting on the exit ramp and applying your make-up while munching an egg-mcmuffin, but I think it makes you feel rushed, or that you aren't doing anything really well.
• Also, the media is constantly telling you how busy you are and should buy this one additional product or toy to "save time." You may not buy it or believe it will, but you internalize that "I'm so busy," message.
• Third, one of the activities Americans are doing less is attending church. 30 minutes less a week than in 1965. That nagging feeling you're overwhelmed? Might be guilt.
• Fourth, being wired (or unwired) like a trussed up goose for Christmas dinner really isn't good for you. It gives you no peace. Turn off the cell phone, take the ear buds out, and don't take your laptop on vacation or to the coffee shop.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen things you might not know about librarians

Last week when I suggested this as a possible topic, I got an overwhelming demand (3 or 4 at least) to include it. So here goes my best shot.

1) The largest library in the world is the Library of Congress of the United States. The Librarian of Congress has never been a librarian. The current and 13th Librarian of Congress is James H. Billington, appointed in 1987.

2) Most of the people you see working in libraries are not librarians. Librarians are probably in the back room dealing with personnel issues, budget cuts, unhappy board members, preparing a speech for a consortium, or working through a license for a new database.

3) Librarians as children loved going to school--and they keep on going. A Master’s in Library Science is the entry level degree in the United States, but many librarians I know have double masters or PhDs. To my knowledge, there is no Bachelor’s degree in library science and hasn’t been for about 50 years. It may be possible to have an education degree with a minor in library science, however.

4) We are often wannabees--both staff and librarians. It’s not unusual to find a librarian or library staffer who is also a performing musician, a published novelist or poet, costume designer, archaeologist or historian. I met many former teachers, a few former lawyers, a former nurse, and one former veterinarian who became librarians. I've only met one librarian who started college with a goal to become a librarian.

5) A survey done during the 2004 election of political party preference came up 223:1, Democrat to Republican for librarians--the biggest lack of diversity of any profession. Not even Hollywood is that liberal. But we have a librarian in the White House.

6) Librarians are entrenched in their own value system. These values do change over the years. Thirty some years ago when my children were little I asked the children’s librarian to stop offering “Little Black Sambo” during story hour, and got a response something like, “It’s a classic, a delightful story and the children love it.”

7) Librarians have a strong missionary spirit--that everyone needs a good library is an article of faith (this is doubtful since many people find salvation in bookstores or worship Google). However, librarians aren’t particularly good at evangelizing (marketing to) the unbeliever--unless the poor soul accidentally get trapped inside the library and sees some really terrific bulletin boards or displays.

8) Librarians are slavish about following "standards" approved by the profession even if they don't apply to a specific situation (think NCLB on steroids). But only when it suits them.

9) Although there are exceptions, librarians are thin-skinned, tenacious, opinionated and determined with a very low tolerance for debate. And defensive. So don't let on you know this. I certainly include myself in this description, so I’m not telling tales out of school. When librarians get together for lunch, we really do talk about what we just read and push our favorites off on each other. Librarians also are gentle, caring, kind hearted, very service oriented, and most have a terrific sense of humor that leans toward irony and wit. Although there are exceptions.

10) Library school graduates (now called information specialists) of the last 10-15 years, the techno-geeks, are everything the old style librarians of my era were, but with computer street creds and coding skills. Some of them are just awesome in their skills, but might have difficulty in a for-profit, entrepreneurial environment.

11) On an introvert/extrovert scale of 1-10, you'd be hard pressed to find a librarian who is a 6 or 7 (that would be me). I’ve never seen a survey to prove this, but I think our birth rate is rather low, therefore new librarians have to be lured from non-librarian families unlike doctors and lawyers who seem to create their own successors.

12) There is a career slot for all tastes--public libraries, academic libraries, private libraries, school libraries, government libraries, and special libraries; some jobs will put you in a cubicle, others will have you facing a demanding public all day. Willingness to relocate is an essential attitude in today's market.

13) You will make a librarian’s day if you ask a question, especially if it is one not heard five times this week, or “where is the wi-fi hot spot.” So think up something challenging, but tell her she must find it in a book. If you get a blank stare, you haven't found a librarian.

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2356 Where do you knit?

I’ve been taking my knitting to church and do a few rows while chatting with the ladies in the fireside lounge between services. We (the choir) sing at the 8:30 and the 11 a.m. services, so there’s about 75 minutes to kill (we have 11 services at 3 locations). Of course, I’m just learning, so it won’t make much difference where I knit. But recently I read an article in Easy Knitting where readers wrote in with stories about where they knit:

1) transcontinental air flights
2) soccer games, baseball practice and various school activities of their children
3) beside the bathtub while the toddler played in the water
4) on a walk (ouch, that doesn’t even sound safe)
5) at meetings
6) back of the Honda motorcycle (for 5,000 miles)
7) during church--she’s making stoles with Celtic symbols
8) anywhere--using circular needles
9) while her husband fishes (she’s with him)
10) on the way to work at traffic lights
11) at the jail (waiting for defendants), at the movies, and working out on exercise machines
12) baseball stadium
13) at the nursing home visiting her husband who has had a massive stroke
14) while “jeeping” and waiting for the other vehicles to go over obstacles
15) doctor’s office
16) under the covers in the dark (when she was a child)
17) sitting under the grape arbor in the back yard
18) freeway ramp, waiting
19) between hands during bridge
20) with a friend on Sunday afternoons watching football on TV.

While visitng another TT today, Domesticated Bloggage, I learned about this site for free knitting patterns. Elle just loves freebies.

Yarn Boy has a Guide to Knitting on Mass-Transit delays.

knitters

2355 Name five things

This is a challenge, not a meme. I gave it to my son this morning and he just laughed, because I think he knows he'll flunk the test. List the five suggestions or pieces of advice (wanted or unwanted) that your parents gave you that turned out to be wrong. I'm even going to challenge myself, since my parents (now deceased) were very liberal with their advice throughout my life.

I can only come up with some "also rans." The advice wasn't wrong exactly, or terrible, and things worked out, but maybe not for the expected reasons.

The one that I think I remember most clearly is my father telling me I shouldn't major in foreign languages in college because I wouldn't be able to get a job (in the 1960s). You know what? He was right, although for the wrong reasons. I just wasn't very good at it. However, even if I'd been really fabulous and fluent, I'm not sure I would have had what it takes to go after a foreign service career or working in another country. I did go on and combine that degree with library science and had an interesting career--although only a fraction of it ever involved my first degree.

Both my parents told me I was too strict with my children and had too many rules. Again, they were right, but for the wrong reasons. My rules were fine, well thought out and logical. They just created too much work for ME. Our family life could have been more pleasant and relaxed for me if I'd not been spitting into the wind so much. I don't think it affected our children one way or the other. Children probably need security and stability more than fun and games.

There were at least two times in my adult life when I asked my parents for a loan, and they said no, and gave me advice instead. They weren't exactly wrong, and it didn't alter my life. But it wouldn't have hurt them a bit, and nothing in the experience and hard feelings that resulted particularly benefited anyone.

Usually, father (or mother) does know best. Can you think of 5 times the advice your parents gave you was wrong? Google the question in both the negative and positive, and you'll see what I mean. If parents give bad advice, no one seems to be writing about it.

2354 Lives of Quiet Turbulence

is an interview with Elizabeth Marquardt on the moral and spiritual life of the children of divorce in the March 2006 issue of Christianity Today based on her book, Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce, (Crown, 288 pp., $24.95).

I thought I knew a lot about this topic, but Marquardt definitely looks at a different angle. My husband and one of his nieces are the only members of his family who are not divorced or married to a divorced person. His four siblings and their spouses or ex-spouses have had 17 marriages among them, and at least 3 long term non-married arrangements that have lasted longer than the marriages. His parents and most of his aunts and uncles were divorced before the 1940s when it was still rare. Celebrating a holiday with my in-laws brought new meaning to the idea of the "blended family."

We don't talk much about divorce any more, but reading this article brought back to me some of the conversations we had in our early years about the pain of his parents' divorce and his mixed feelings about growing up in a step family. And he really had no memory of his birth parents ever being together. What I loved about his families were their openess, acceptance of differences, sense of humor, and relaxed way of life (much of which was caused by alcohol, but I didn't know that then). What he loved about my family were commitment, stability, integrity and honesty. Over the years, I've decided there is an invisible scar from divorce even one that happened 50 or 60 years ago--or there's a small open wound that doesn't heal.

Marquardt discovered that children of divorce have a different interpretation of the Prodigal Son story. They tend to focus on the leaving, not the coming back and uniting of the family. They see themselves as the "waiting father" and their parents as the wayward child.

She says that children of a "good divorce" don't fare as well as children of a "bad marriage." Any kind of divorce is a radical restructuring of a child's life.

"Happy talk" about divorce, such as that which appears in some children's books, is callous and dishonest, in Marquart's opinion.

Children of divorce have a "job" that should belong to adults--making sense of different sets of values, beliefs and ways of living. They grow up traveling between 2 worlds (or 3) with separate memories with each parent.

Marriage is the most pro-child institution in all societies and civilizations and has been since the beginning of recorded history. The idea of staying together for someone else's benefit is radical in our modern society.

Children are generally unaware of adults' feelings in low-conflict, but loveless, marriages. A pre-schooler doesn't care whether his parents are having sex 5 times a week or never. He does care if daddy doesn't come home.

"Honor your parents" has a different meaning for children of divorce. They either don't, or they honor the one who made the sacrifices. Those who are Christians make a stronger effort to do this than those who are not.

If you're feeling defensive, insisting your parents' divorce did not harm you in any way, read this review of Marquardt's book in a different journal by Lauren Winner, a wonderful writer in her own right. Winner declares, "I have always hated the phrase "children of divorce." I am not a child of divorce. I am the child of two people who, among other things, got divorced."

divorce
children and divorce

2353 Book review: The Health Care Mess

I haven't checked the catalog yet, but I'm betting my local public library has this title.

Julius Richmond, Rashi Fein. The Health Care Mess - How We Got Into It and What It Will Take to Get Out. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 2005. 294pp. $26.95

According to a review in the New England Journal of Medicine (March 23, 2006), this book was written by two former members of Democratic administrations (although I didn't know anyone from the Truman administration was still writing) one of whom was the founder of Head Start, a 40 year old, tax supported failure. Jimmy Carter wrote the forward, and both Daniel Schorr and Ted Kennedy are promoting it, and the four photos of Truman, Johnson, Kennedy and Clinton demonstrate the authors' bipartisanship! Richmond as received the Heinz Award (remember Mrs. Kerry?) Wow. Is this singing to the choir, or what? The reviewer, David Hyman, MD (UIUC) describes the system they want:

1. Single payer system
2. Raise taxes
3. Regulate all options and choices for the consumer and doctors
4. Marginalize all for-profit enterprises in medicine
5. Create a new bureaucracy, both regionally and nationally
6. The IRS will collect the premiums
7. Don't stop there--include changes in housing, environment, etc.

This is nothing new--trees were killed for this? But Hyman does praise the authors' sophisticated and sensible history from the trenches (the grave?) of the left, and points out that this is a view from academe, not the clinic.

2352 Speaking of photos, what's up with Cynthia McKinney?

She's asked by the police for her badge which is supposed to be worn (so they can by-pass the metal detectors), she attacks him after refusing to stop, and now she's crying racism? I may have been one of the early ones to report that she had attacked a capitol policeman, but I was writing about leaks to the press, not idiot behavior by people who think they are above the rules. I'm not up on my southern pols, so I didn't even know my example was an African American.

Sean Hackbarth gets a bit catty after seeing her hair on the video: "Call me superficial but I would have arrested Rep. Cynthia McKinney for that awful hairdo. Homeless chic isn't hip even in Washington, D.C., a beggar's paradise.

And don't get me started about her wild eyes. A mugger confronting her in a dark alley would run away screaming."


I watched the video. It is probably not one of her better performances. Or hair days.

Captain Ed brings us all back to the national security agenda of the Democrats: "I just need to make sure we have this correct. The new Democratic effort on national security, therefore, is to defy identification procedures, ignore common-sense safeguards, pretend not to hear warnings, and then assault the people protecting us. Gee, I don't know ... sounds like the old Democratic program on security to me."

Cynthia McKinney
national security
bad hair days