Saturday, May 06, 2006

2447 Dream Mom has a dream

Dream Mom has a severly disabled son. When I first read her blog and saw a photo of him sitting up in a wagon, I thought it was current. But it was a reflection on a past event, when he had learned to pull himself upright in his wagon while they were out for a walk--a huge accomplishment for which she lavished praise. Now he is bedridden and frequently hospitalized. She has lost her home, her job, her savings, her retirement--and cares for Dear Son, as she calls him in her blog. However, she writes an even more touching story here, "There's no place like home," about a little boy, much healthier than hers, whose mother gave him up. But life could be easier for all parents of disabled children, she writes, if just these things were available:

  • "We need to have daycare facilities that take all children, regardless of their disabilities. While legally, they can not discriminate, they often won’t take them. They don’t make money on kids like that, even if they had employees trained to care for them. Daycare for disabled children, is practically non-existant. We need to do this so these parents can work and take good care of their children and themselves.

  • We need more Respite care so when their parents are tired, they get a break.

  • We need to require hospitals or medical centers that have specialty physicians who care for these children,

  • and have suitable rest rooms so we can change them on a bed instead of on the bathroom floors.

  • We need to have assistants located in the parking lots of our medical centers, so they can help us lift the children in/out of the car, making it easier, instead of paying people to say hello to us when we come for an outpatient visit.

  • We need to allow parents to save tax free in a 401(k) for their disabled children’s retirement, in addition to their own retirement, so the children/adults will be less dependent on Medicaid, Medicare and other government programs.

  • We also need to provide for medical withdrawals, based on need, for these 401(k) plans, in case of catastrophic medical bills. We could do this very easily, by using our current Social Security definitions of a disability, as a requirement for the new 401(k)."

I've come across many blogs written by parents of disabled children, who describe the challenges, heartaches, and victories of their staggering tasks. If blogging has done nothing else, it has certainly brought these exhausted and caring parents out of the closet so the rest of us can see what they deal with daily.

2446 God and Gore

In a magazine side bar today I notice a list of conversation starters and stoppers. For instance, complimenting a woman on her jewelry can be a conversation starter. Asking her how much it cost--a stopper. On the list of conversation stoppers was disagreeing with the other person on God or Al Gore.

2445 Preview of coming attractions

On Monday May 8, Monday Memories will be about my dream to open a book store, and on Monday May 15, I'll fill you in on the lost and missing beds. These seemed to be the two most popular from the May 4 Thursday Thirteen list.



2444 Word wizards wanted

Canadian gay couples are unhappy that they aren't listed as "husband and wife" in the latest census according to an item noted by Elizabeth Marquardt at her blog at Family Scholars.

A husband is a man and a wife is a woman and these words are embedded in our English collective memory, literature, holy books, music, indeed, the very fabric of our culture. I'm puzzled that a gay man would want to be called "wife." Or a lesbian, "husband." If gays want a permanent relationship recognized by society, let them invent a word that works for them and then try it out on the general public--sing about it, write about it, and use it among their friends. Someone invented all these ridiculous terms we use with computers, and we use them without thinking in less than a generation. Considering the bad press and scorn the feminists have dumped on the institution of marriage, homosexuals may even wish to stay away from words that describe specific roles. There are probably languages or dialects that have appropriate, meaningless words, which could be borrowed for the purpose of a census until something catches on.

Friday, May 05, 2006

2443 Am I bad luck?

Recently I wrote about a film program called 168 Hour Film Project and signed up for their newsletter. The first newsletter I got announced the death by drowning in a bathtub during a seizure of one of their 14 year old actors. Then I recently linked here to a doctor, BigMamaDoc, who calls her site Fat Doctor and she was attending a conference in California the last time I looked. I checked today to find out she has had a stroke and was hospitalized for neurosurgery. She's only 37, and from reading backward in her blog, this was not her first stroke. A friend is updating her blog.

2443 What profits and price gouging?

You can read the whole piece over at Amy Ridenour's National Center Blog, as reported by Peyton Knight, and this actually records a higher amount for profits than I've seen at other sites--9.7 cents per dollar of sales:

According to Ken Cohen, vice president of ExxonMobil, ". . . in the first quarter of 2006, ExxonMobil made $8.4 billion in total profits. Profits in the U.S. accounted for $2.3 billion of that total. And what did ExxonMobil pay in total government taxes in the U.S. in this first quarter? $3.7 billion. The company paid $1.4 billion more in taxes than it took in profits.

In fact, Mr. Cohen says, from 2001 to 2005, ExxonMobil's total U.S. tax bill was $57.1 billion, and its total earnings in the country were $34.9 billion. This means that over the most recent five-year period, the company paid $22.2 billion more in taxes than it earned in profits.

In 2005, he says, ExxonMobil earned 9.7 cents per dollar of sales in the U.S. To put this in perspective, he notes that pharmaceutical companies earned 17.6 cents per dollar, banks earned 19.1 cents, and household and personal products firms earned 10.9 cents.

"We are the most heavily regulated industry in the country," said Cohen. "The FTC (Federal Trade Commission) has a special branch that does nothing but regulate energy companies."

"With regard to the current climate," he noted, "We are in an election year and it appears that the candidates are more interested in running against us than running against an opponent."

When asked about his thoughts on a possible "windfall profits tax" on the oil industry, Cohen points out that "there is a history we can refer people to... it's been tried before... it really impacted citizens in the country negatively, and did not have the desired impact."

Full account here.

2442 Gasoline Meme

What are you doing about high gasoline prices? Copy this meme and highlight the items that apply to you.

1. Very little. Prices here aren't high enough yet to cause me to sweat. $1.50-$3.00 a tank increase.

2. Consolidating some trips so I'm driving less.

3. Not driving. I stay home and pout.

4. Carpooling.

5. Bought a more fuel efficient car.

6. Bought a hybrid.

7. Installed one of those food oil converters that improves my mileage.

8. Walk more.

9. Bicycle to work or local errands.

10. Moved from the suburbs back to the city.

11. Taking public transportation.

12. Checking for lowest prices at gas web site and buying out of my neighborhood.

13. Buy gas at a discount or off-brand station.

14. Driving the speed limit with tires inflated correctly.

*15. Wrote my congressperson and asked that government gas taxes be suspended.

*16. Wrote my congressperson and asked that new refineries be approved.


17. Gave up bottled water, a 6 pack of beer, a pack or two of cigarettes, or my latte and applied the savings to the gas tank.

18. Not buying gas between Thursday and Sunday when it is the highest.

19. Bought energy funds for my portfolio.

20. I'm blogging about the problem.

*My e-mail to Congresswoman Pryce

Dear Deborah Pryce: I would like you to 1) support the suspension of federal gasoline taxes, 2) support new refineries, and 3) drilling for oil in Alaska in order to decrease our dependency on foreign oil and to reduce the prices at the pump. The immediate crisis can be solved simply by #1. It would be counter productive to tax the energy companies more because they just pass the price on to the consumer.






2441 Party Time!

The social calendar is really filling up. Tonight my daughter and I are going out for dinner while our fellas are out of town. I expect the talk will be about little Abby and her liver problems (Chihuahua). My guy will be at Lakeside and hers will be visiting his mother who is in hospice. Then tomorrow night we're invited to a Kentucky Derby party. No, we don't fly down, but the hosts are fabulous cooks and plan themed parties and have a very interesting, historical home. I have to read the sports page today so I know which horse to bet my dollar on. I'm supposed to wear a hat, but don't have one.

Then Sunday evening we meet with our new SALT group (couples group from church). Lovely people, delightful conversation. Ah, and then on Friday we are hosting some friends here for a farewell dinner (pot luck) for one of our pastors and his wife who are going back to the mission field, this time in Haiti (about 14 years ago they were in Camaroon). It will be a terrible loss for us, but they love mission work and are now empty nesters.

Speaking of parties. My son took a week in mid-April for vacation and put in his garden. I'm a woman with a brown thumb and no interest, but even I know it's awfully early for gardens in Ohio. However, the weather has been fabulous and we've had no late Spring frosts (last year it snowed the end of April). But some birds did stop by and have a huge party in his freshly installed young plants and ate them to the nubbins. He's now replanted--about the right time, too. I suggested chicken wire because I'd seen my mother do that, and now it's pretty secure so I should have a source of garden fresh tomatoes this summer. He's got a painting of Mom in her garden (by my husband) in his living room and says he knows Grandma's tending garden for God, but that He probably doesn't let her mow in electrical storms as she was inclined to do. (Interesting what kids remember, isn't it?)



Also next week, although not in the party category: a hair apppointment (roots, you know), writing class, and helping with the church picture directory. I've got a new audio book (Planets by Dava Sobel) for my walks in the park. Retirement's sure tough, innit?

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Thursday Thirteen for My Monday Memories


If I don't look through my notebooks before tossing them into a box, I might miss some good ideas. Short term memory, you know, for my long term memory. So I'm rechecking for my . I haven't written these, but they are percolating with a few notes. Some would be brief and I can't remember the endings; others are too long, or have been partially mentioned in other blog entries. Here's the list. The nice thing about the draft feature is you can start a memory, save it in draft form for the date you want, and come back to it when another idea pops up, then it's practically ready when Monday rolls around.

1) Have I ever told you about jump rope and jacks? [partially finished]

2) Did I ever tell you about my plan to own a book store in the 1980s?

3) Did I ever tell you about my paper routes? [still working on some details]

4) Have I told you about my well-planned, orderly mid-life crisis? [this one I actually remember]

5) Did I ever mention our family vacations when I was a child? [this would be extremely brief]

6) Have I ever told you about our lost and missing beds?

7) I remember my baptism; let me tell you about it.

8) Did I ever tell you about my mother's retreat center and garden?

9) Did I ever tell you about Sauerkraut Day? [partially in another entry]

10) Did I ever tell you about my empty nest syndrome back in the 80s? [it's funny now, but so painful then]

11) Did I ever tell you about my first photograph album?

12) Did I ever tell you about the time my husband brought home a sick kitten and she stayed for 18 years?

13) Did I ever tell you about my mother's dishwasher? [you've probably guessed this one]


(If you participate, leave your link in the auto-link and it will post here, but please leave a comment.)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things.

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2439 Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie

Just to placate those who thought I was teasing for not sharing the Apple Sour Cream Pie recipe (I've checked all the recipe sites on the internet, and didn't find my exact recipe), I want to mention how much I'm enjoying this one. I love chocolate and peanut butter. And this one is sugar-free. I've been experimenting since the Columbus Home Show when I saw something similar demo'd that included bananas. I couldn't get that part to work since I don't have a kitchen flame-thrower and it was extremely labor intensive. This one is super easy, or I wouldn't be making it.

If you really, truly need sugar-free, as in no sugar at all, first make a regular pastry crust and bake and cool it. If you can have a wee-bit of sugar, buy a chocolate graham cracker crust--8 or 9" and use that. It actually makes a more handsome dessert because of the rich color.

Mix low fat 8 oz. cream cheese with one cup Splenda and one teaspoon of vanilla. When smooth, add one cup creamy peanut butter (I use Krema brand which is natural, but other should work if it's natural). Mix until complete blended. Blend in about half an 8 oz. carton (or all if you want it lighter) of thawed sugar free Cool Whip. Fold all this into the prepared pie crust and chill. When it has firmed up, warm up a small amount of sugar free hot fudge sauce in the microwave, and decorate the top of the pie with circles or dabs. Put it back into the frig until serving time. Serve small pieces, because even though low fat and low sugar, it is quite rich.

I think this is just a fabulous, fancy dessert, and eating it practically takes the inches right off the thighs! (Big fat lie.) The only reason to tell anyone this is sugar free is that some people prefer not to eat Splenda or it bothers them. Otherwise, I don't think anyone would know.

2438 Feminism's granddaughters

Maybe that's an oxymoron. Perhaps the feminists of the 70s aborted their future. But that's another blog. In this morning's paper I read an employment article that indicates Gen-X supervisors (b. 1965-1980) are having a problem with the Gen-Y female workforce. That means 36 year-olds are puzzled that a 21 year old is dressing like a prostitute for the workplace, can't write or spell or work overtime without a hassle, and has been catered to and spoiled by her parents. Wow. Imagine the problem a 60 year-old must be having with Gen-Y employees.

Jeffrey Zaslow, the author of today's WSJ article, mentions the book, Tripping the Prom Queen by Susan Shapiro Barash. According to Publisher's Weekly, "The 500 women gender studies scholar Barash interviewed for this exhaustively researched book on female competition confirms that women can indeed be mean. Barash outlines why women compete with each other differently than men do with other men and why women often want to sabotage powerful female rivals. Male competition is goal-oriented and limited, Barash says, while women compete over appearance, children, the workplace and relationships. Why? According to Barash, for women, competition is about identity and relationships, and they have a harder time setting boundaries to competition. Barash devotes chapters to specific areas of competition, from looks to career, and then presents real-life examples of situations in which resentment and jealousy can be used to improve one's life without destroying anyone else's. Overall, this study provides a helpful starting place for any woman wondering if it's possible to get what she wants without hurting or being hurt." Library Journal and Kirkus reviews are a little less sure this book is accurate. See reviews here.

Often these expose books on women are as anecdotal and gossipy as the office itself. (See Spin Sisters) If this is true, it sounds like nothing has changed since the 70s. The workplace was filled in the 1960s and 70s with jealousy and backbiting, and women preferred to be supervised by men. The feminist movement was supposed to change all that as women moved into management and wrested control from the testosterone charged workplace.

The absolute best boss in the world I ever had was a woman, and I look back on that time very fondly. She was smart, fair, funny and enormously encouraging. But I've got to admit, she was a rare bird. She stopped working in her mid-30s to start a family and I lost track of her. My all time worst boss was also a woman, but I sure learned a lot working for her.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

2437 On immigration

Here is a list of entries on immigration, legal and illegal, at Collecting my thoughts.

How to Write your Congressman

Narcos and illegal immigration

Social Security and Illegals

Deborah Pryce Record

Republicans have failed us

Friday Fourteen (via Tran Sient)

Ethnicity in the United States

How a legal immigrant does it

Bite the hand that feeds you day

10 things that make me angry about illegal immigration

Word games

Illegal immigrant demonstrations

Irish illegals

Brain drain immigration

Should illegals receive. . .

Immigrant themed music

Sergey Brin, Immigrant

Immigration and security

This is my blog on illegal immigration issues.

2436 Ethnicity in the United States

About a decade ago I heard that the largest ethnic group in the United States, if you can call them that, was German-Americans. I think it was 30% or something. That would be me. But when they count the Scots-Irish and the English, that would also be me. So somewhere along the graph of ethnicities, the statisticans will have more than 100% if I get counted three times. So when I heard on the radio that by 2050 the United States will be over 50% Hispanic, I figured, Yes, if we don't count anyone twice, which wouldn't be fair.

I have a number of friends and family who ethnically are Hispanic--i.e., their parents or grand parents were born in Mexico (where the borders are now). To my knowledge, they don't know a word of Spanish, except maybe cognates or names of restaurants. They are middle class and evangelical Christians. Republicans, would be my guess. My husband's niece, even with the extremely fair skin of her blonde Indiana Scots-American mother, is noticeably Hispanic. Her sons, only one-fourth Hispanic have her large, snappy dark eyes and stocky build that hints at their Indian ancestry.

We've got an architect friend in Texas; both his parents are from Mexico. I remember asking him about Spanish, and he said his parents never spoke it in front of the children and so he spoke nothing but English. A very successful architect, he graduated from college as did his siblings with blue collar parents. And what about all those Spanish descended Americans--from Cuba or Puerto Rico--who have no native peoples in their bloodlines? How are they going to be counted--as European Americans or Hispanics? They never picked tomatoes or cleaned toilet--they've always been privileged.

My German ancestors gave up their German-English dialect in Pennsylvania after about 100 years--around the 1840s. It was probably an economic necessity--they were farmers, carpenters and teamsters and worked with "the English." Then they moved westward, and probably forgot what little German they knew. And what value would it have been to hang on to a child-like, narrow dialect when the rest of the German speaking world moved on in literature and music and politics evolving a language as they went? I once asked a German student at the university if he could translate a note I found in a family Bible. He was completely baffled. He knew it was German, but not what it meant.

And so it will be in 2050.


2435 On loving our pets

You're going to be so mad at me when I say your pet is not "just like your child," or "like a member of your family." I've been a daughter, a mother, a wife, a sister, a niece, a cousin, a grand daughter and a girl friend; and I've also had dogs and cats (and a horse) in my life. I can name all the dogs and cats I've had and how they died, and how I felt. I can still see my puppy under the wheels of that bus when I was six years old. Trust me when I say--it's not the same. Not even close, and if you think that, sit down and reassess your life's relationships. Something's missing. Something's messing with your mind.

I've buried two of my children and I've had a miscarriage and a botched adoption. Trust me folks. This is the voice of experience. Your dog is a dog. It is not a child. You can love her, play with her, look forward to spending time with her, and even trust her with your life, but she is a dog and will always be a dog. Loving him will not make him something he isn't.

You have accepted tremendous responsibilities in pet ownership, an unwritten contract to love and care for an animal who will become completely dependent on you. And I truly hope you're holding up your end, because this animal can't reason and make choices. I hope you've had him neutered and that you don't let her run loose to ruin other people's lawns, gardens and enjoyment of their privacy. I hope you've trained him so he doesn't attack other animals, that you're picking up his fecal piles from public land and easements and I hope you're not breeding Susie or Max indiscriminately and setting up shop as a puppy mill.

Now what in these examples would indicate we are talking about family members? Keep your child in a cage all day, or let her urinate in the neighbor's daffodils, or let him chase cars on the highway, and see how far you get with your excuses when you're arrested for child abuse. But dogs do it, even the dogs you love and think "they are like family," and no one will arrest you unless your dog maims and kills someone.

I know there are "animal rights" people out there who think animals should have legal rights accorded people, but that's the fringe group (for now--but they're coming down the road in packs closing in on us). I'm not addressing that. I'm talking to those of you who know that this four footed animal has a life expectancy of 8-10 years, will grovel at your feet when you are displeased, or will perform tricks (if you've trained her), or will play with a chew toy. It won't argue, discuss, listen to music, make love, worship God, bring you gifts on a holiday, contribute to the family income, clean the house, fix a bowl of soup when you're sick, fold the laundry, or fix a flat tire for you.

What's so wrong with loving your dog as a dog, or your cat as a cat? Is that so terrible? Is it a love that dares not say what it is? Why do you want to make this wonderful God-created animal into something it can never be?

Polka-dot, my last dog




Tuesday, May 02, 2006

2434 Listen while you walk

If you dislike exercise, it helps to take along a little entertainment. I've got Mozart in my CD player, and Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck on the radio. I think Rush is #1 and Glenn is #3 in talk radio. Rush is good; really good. If you don't like him, you won't believe any of this. Here's why I like Rush Limbaugh.

  • He's positive
  • he believes in America
  • he's upbeat
  • and believes you can do anything if you put your mind to it
  • he can make even sports interesting--former sports announcer (for me that's a huge accomplishment)
  • I think he's honest--without dwelling on it, he's talked about his addiction to prescription drugs and rehab and how much he's learned from the experience; if you don't believe him, you'd better stay away from Al-Anon and AA because you won't believe them either
  • he varies his program--it's not all politics
  • he's not a victim
  • and doesn't whine
  • he is a conservative, but not a party-line man
  • he has a wonderful voice--one of the best in radio
  • he's articulate
  • has good bumper music (former disc jockey)
  • on open line Friday--he gives even liberals a chance to go to the mat with him
  • usually he avoids talking about religion
  • it's often like radio theater if you can remember that far back


I only listen occasionally, but am rarely disappointed. Today because of a morning rain I walked in the afternoon, so I caught his show. There are things I don't like--but I control the dial and I switch to FM country music if he's off on a tangent that makes little sense. For instance, he really needs to give up his obsession with Bill Clinton. Gracious. It's been 6 years. Being critical of the Clintons' marriage is bizarre for someone married and divorced 3 times. Also, occasionally, his listeners know more than he does--and that's hard for him. He was doing a parody of Chairman Hu of China a few days ago, and a Chinese-American listener, a loyal fan, called to correct his ignorance of Chinese laws and customs. He just didn't get it and he missed a great opportunity to say he'd at least look into her better grasp of her own culture.

I know he has staff who put his recordings together (they probably get bonuses to find the most outlandish material), but today's montage of "President on the aircraft carrier for mission accomplished 3rd anniversary" where he ran back-to-back Democrats in Congress and then back-to-back MSM reporters (his newest favorite term for them is "drive-by media") was really hilarious. There was no comment except from the participants--and you know them from their voices. Who sounds more absurd than pompous Chris Matthews? Rush pondered whether the talking points came down from the Democratics in Congress or DNC to the MSM, or if there is a third group out there giving them both instructions on what to say. When you watch only one newscast, you don't see how the same story, with the same political slant, moves like lined up dominoes until it gets the famous Rush touch and they all collapse.


If John Kerry gave Churchill's speech

Mark Steyn mentions Kerry's position of the week on Iraq:

"We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, at least until May 15, when I have a windsurfing engagement off Nantucket."

More at the Sun Times And he's looking up that Thomas Jefferson quote, too.

2432 Book Club 2006-2007 Selections

Our May meeting, held at the lovely home and gardens of the even lovelier Barbara, was a delight with discussion of Anne Perry's The Christmas Journey, a short novel about guilt and redemption. Then we moved on to voting for next year's selections. Each member gets 1.5 minutes to plug her favorite (must have read it first). There were excellent suggestions, all well worth reading, but we can only choose nine. TA-DA. The winners are:

September: Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin. I'll bet you thought there wasn't anything left to say about Abraham Lincoln, didn't you?

October: (note to self--you're bringing the food) All shall be well by Deborah Crombie. Ah, my least favorite genre--a mystery. We get at least one a year, and I'm a good sport and read them, but the joy just eludes me.

November: Master and Commander by Patrick O'Brian. This title, published over 35 years ago, is part of a series, and was made into a popular movie starring Russell Crowe.

December: Curious incident of the dog and the nighttime by Mark Haddon. A novel about a teenager with autism.

January: Between Two Worlds by Elizabeth Marquart. I blogged about this book which looks at the effects of divorce on children.

February: Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. One of our long time members thought we needed to read a classic and made a good case. I've never read a Dickens book, so if you're yearning for the good old days of education, it apparently wasn't the 1950s. So I'll probably need a study guide.

March: The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. Another novel involving a journey and redemption.

April: Keys of the Kingdom by A.J. Cronin. The member who recommended this book, published in 1942, says that next to the Bible, this has been the most important Christian book she has read.

May: Eat cake by Jeanne Ray. This is a first novel by a 60 year old. The member who recommended this has never steered us wrong, and reads more than anyone in the group.

2431 Yummy breakfast cereal

Last week at Trader Joe's I bought Organic Pumpkin FlaxPlus Granola by Nature's Path. A mouthful to say, but a delicious mouthful to eat, too.
The back of the box says that pumpkin seeds are not just for Halloween. They are legendary (according to Michelle Fabian, the dietitian) for their Omega-3 content and digestive benefits. Omega-3 fatty acids help reduce the risk of heart disease, discourage the growth of prostate and breast cancer, and support immune function. Just like eating fish, only it tastes better! Pumpkin seeds include zinc, a trace mineral that affects our immune function, and helps keep our hair, skin, nails nice, ladies, and the male reproductive organs in working order. Pumpkin seeds are also an excellent source of iron.

Unlike a lot of cereal box authors, Michelle even sites her sources which includes three major peer reviewed research journals, and warms the heart, soul and tummy of librarians around the world. Way to go, Michelle. All this good stuff, and I think it was only $2.49 for a box. I think that is cheaper per serving than a lot of the huffed, puffed and fluffed grains I've seen at the supermarkets.

2430 How a legal immigrant does it

Lynda's entry for Monday Memories was about her becoming an American citizen. Very appropriate for May 1. Stop by and read her story.

Monday, May 01, 2006

2429 Bite the Hand that Feeds you Day

Stop by at the Guard the Borders Blogburst to catch the best at one site. Those companies that shut down to show support, should be closed for good if they are hiring illegals.

Median Sib says it's not racism.