2471 Glenn Beck doesn't get it

Glenn Beck doesn't seem to realize this battle's been lost. Today, as I listened in the car, he's taking calls about a survey that reports 48% of Americans think it is OK for mothers to leave their children in day care and go to work. (That's a paraphrase.) He's the father of new-born girl, of a one-year old adopted son, and two teen-age daughters from his first marriage. As he says, it is the pot calling the kettle black, but he thinks it is best for young children to be raised by a parent, not a care provider.

A child comes into the world already formed. Intelligence, personality, physical appearance, and predisposition to many health problems are already in place.--practically carved in stone. You get to contribute 1%--the values they'll carry to adulthood. Why would anyone want to turn that over to a stranger, if this is your only chance to make a difference post-conception?

On Mother's Day I wrote here about attempting to return to work part time when my children were small and deciding to wait until they were in school when I got a close look at the options. That said, I believe there are some home situations where it's probably better for a child to be gone 10 hours a day (or even it's entire life) rather than live in chaos; unfortunately, those moms are probably not finding quality substitutes. They are such poor mothers, they probably wouldn’t even know good day care if they found it.

Today at the coffee shop a single mom who lives with her boyfriend and 3 sons told me about babysitting for a friend. The other woman, also a single mom of two, has an abusive boyfriend and needed to get away. While he's spreading his sperm around central Ohio, she lives with her father, his girlfriend and her son, and a recently returned sister and her family, all under one roof. Can you imagine the chaos for all those children? Not a married father in the entire household!

The poverty rate for single women who had their first child before 21, didn't finish their schooling or marry their child’s father is extremely high. If she has married the father of her children and completed high school her children will probably not grow up poor. A step-father later doesn't really change the statistical mix that much, for the children's future.

Women--you have the power to change the world. Use it.

Monday Memories--the lost beds

Have I ever told you about our lost and missing beds?

No one noticed they were gone. Until sometime in 1987. We were planning where our house guests would sleep. Then we noticed. We had lost or misplaced many beds.

What happened to our "marriage bed" is anyone's guess. We don't remember where we got it, or where it went, but when we moved from our honeymoon apartment in Indianapolis in 1961 to Illinois, the bed didn't make the trip. When we moved from Maude's furnished room in Urbana to the apartment in Champaign on Third Avenue, we brought over a grandmother‘s bedroom suite with a lumpy and saggy mattress. After the baby was born in 1961 we splurged and spent $60 on a new box springs and mattress from the Champaign Mattress Factory. Did those delivery fellows haul the old one away?

That new "ortho" bed moved to our first house, the White Street duplex with us, and later grandma’s furniture went to Tamara and Sasha (who drank too much) when we bought our lovely oiled walnut set (which we still have). Mom and my sister came on visits so we bought an orange daybed that sort of looked like a couch. It was terribly uncomfortable. Later my brother came and took the crib and dresser for his baby, Amy. The last time I saw the dresser it was around 1984 in Florida. Our baby’s plaid pram with the folding mattress went to the guy who also bought my trombone.

When we moved from White Street to Charles Street, we had an extra bedroom. We bought another double bed mattress set from the mattress factory. The orange daybed moved to Charles Street and then back to White Street (which we kept as a rental property) when we decided to rent the second floor apartment out as a furnished place. Only one double bed went with us to Columbus, Ohio in 1967, so one of them must have gone to the apartment for the renters.

After being in Columbus about 3 weeks, we bought a king size bed from a mattress factory and put the other one in the second bedroom of our apartment on Farleigh Road. Later the top mattress was damaged in the move from the apartment to our house on Abington Road in 1968 (where we lived for 34 years). It got so lumpy from the broken springs that in 1974 I purchased two long twin top mattresses from Lazarus. I have no idea where the King size top mattress went.

Meanwhile, two more baby cribs and a port-a-crib were purchased. The red one was given away to a welfare mother. We still have the green crib and the port-a-crib was finally put in a yard sale last year. For some reason I've been anticipating grandchildren all these years and didn’t let go of those cribs.



25 years later in a truck bed
When the children outgrew the cribs, we bought bunk beds for one and used the double bed (mattress factory #2) for the other. We also bought folding single bed for guests. It was used maybe three times; we sold it to my friend Susan, who later also bought the bunk beds when our son outgrew them. With no place for company to sleep, we bought a couch that converts to a queen size bed around 1978. It was in the family room for years and then was given away around 1993.

We bought our daughter a queen size waterbed with under bed storage and a bookshelf headboard when she was a teen. We sold her old bed to the person who answered the ad for the dresser that matched the red crib that went to the welfare mother. We also bought a soft sided waterbed in 1983 for ourselves. We gave our son one half of the king size bed (whose box springs came from the mattress factory and the mattresses from Lazarus) and gave the other half to his friend George (who changed his name to Stuart after a rock star).

When our daughter graduated from high school in 1986 she moved out and took her waterbed. A whiz at packing, she stuffed it all in the back of a Ford Fiesta. Only the crack in the dining room ceiling remained. I bought a navy blue pull out couch and put it in her empty room. Then our son graduated in 1987, moved into his own apartment and wanted his bed (the one-half of our king size). That left his room empty. Meanwhile our daughter, following a family tradition, lost her waterbed in a move to another apartment. So we gave her the navy blue couch around 1990 and she got rid of it in 1994 (how I don‘t know).

I inherited my parents’ maple bedroom suite in 1990 (which had been at Mom's retreat center in Franklin Grove, IL) and that went into our son’s empty room for a few years and then traveled up to the Lake house when I converted his bedroom to my office. Since we already had 2 beds in the Lake house guest room, there was some swapping and donating done. My friend Helen got one. Friends at the Lake gave us a wonderful old style metal double bed with mattress for our daughter’s room in Columbus. I painted it green to match the dresser that matched her baby crib which was in storage. In 2001 we replaced that mattress giving it to our son who had separated from his wife and needed a bed for his bachelor apartment. When they reconciled, he dumped that bed. We replaced our water bed (I have no idea where it went) and bought a queen size mattress set after trying out two others and rejecting them. The faithful old army cot purchased in 1961 and rarely used was sold in our daughter's garage sale in 2001.


My parents’ maple twin set (from Illinois) has come back to Columbus from the lake and the metal bed is back at Lakeside from which it came in our guest room.

Would you believe we had to borrow a bed from our daughter when we put the house on Abington up for sale in 2001 so one bedroom would look right?


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2469 Say hello to a new teacher

In April JK graduated from college and has now started her first job--teaching special needs children. What a challenge. She's positive, sensitive, beautiful, has a can-do spirit, and usually writes a Thursday Thirteen, which is how I started following her story. If you were or are a teacher, or ever had a teacher who mattered in your life, stop by her site and give her a hug or a word of encouragement. [I find her site a tad difficult to navigate, but if you click on "currently" you should find her latest entry.]

2468 Dixie Chicks

They wouldn't have gotten that much time on 60 minutes if they'd been pro-Bush, now would they?

Video of 60 minutes interview here.
Dixie Chicks

2467 Mothers' Day Musing #2

Business Schools are targeting at home Moms according to a Wall St. Journal article on May 10 by Anne Marie Chaker available here in Career Journal. It could cost you anywhere from $5-10,000 for a 2 week tune-up. Such a deal! Those must have been some high paying jobs those mommies left.

There's never been much money in being a librarian, so no one targeted me when I decided to return to the labor force in 1977. I sort of fell into it when my friend Ana Llorenz, the Romance languages librarian at OSU called and told me that there was a listing for a fill-in for Marti Alt who would be out on maternity leave. Yes, in those days, libraries had enough soft money to replace someone who would be gone for a few months. I took the job and that led to a 3+ year position in agricultural economics.

But some years before that, Sandy Boyd who worked in Cataloging, my old department, and I had put together a job sharing plan and tried to shop it to the department head. In the early 70s, during the first wave of the current feminist movement, there was tremendous pressure on women to get into the labor force. I was the spoil sport. I started looking around at child care options (my children were then in about 4 and 5). Even in our nice suburb it seemed grim. One woman was on a busy corner with no fenced yard; someone else had a dog that looked a little dicey to me; the churches that offered child care near the university were not in good neighborhoods. So I backed off for four more years until the children were in third and fourth grade. I never regretted it, and can't see that it made any difference in my career track.

One woman who took advantage of Harvard's New Path program used it to develop her custom cake business. Sweet.

2466 Mothers' Day Musing

"Accidents Happen. Mornings after can be tough" is the new poster for the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecology urging doctors to tell women to keep a prescription for "emergency" birth control handy. (That's also known as the "morning after," Plan-B or "mega-regrets" pill.)

I wonder how many of the doctors, ad agency employees and maybe you, the reader here, were the result of an "accident" or unintended conception. Fortunately, many of us were conceived in a kinder, gentler more humanistic era--like the Great Depression or WWII. Possibly our parents weren't thrilled, but soon learned to love us and make do. And then others, well, you got lucky I guess and slipped on through despite the laws protecting choice and the peer pressure your mom experienced to abort when it just wasn't the right time to start a family or you were too close to your sibling. Congratulations on showing up!

Happy Mothers' Day

to all of you who are mothers or had a mother or still have a mother. That ought to be just about everyone. Sorry, but I got the best.

My mother-in-law and my mother, together in 1993

2464 Big Update

Today I updated all seven of my blogs. One has been on the back burner for several months, and I just never got around to finishing it (dated December), but now they have all been put to bed. Actually, counting LISNews.com, I have eight, but I rarely post there anymore.

2463 The 45th TOSRV

TOSRV means Tour of the Scioto River Valley, and the 45th is this week-end, May 13-14, 2006. The challenge isn't so much the terrain, as the weather. I think it is generally just awful, no matter when the cyclists try to do this 210 mile round trip from Columbus to Portsmouth. My right hand man for several years when I was the Vet librarian rode in TOSRV and he also ran marathons. He was sort of a small, wirey guy--I'm not real tall, but I'm taller than he was. He became a woman. I'll always miss him.

Cycling
TOSRV

2462 Church potlucks

are ubiquitous. But golf tournaments? Who knew? They want you to take your pastor out for a game of golf--the site says 50% of the pastors have considered leaving the ministry in the last 3 months. Maybe you shouldn't wait until September (date of the event).

2461 Are you a statistics freak?

Here's a quick overview of my statistics for the past year.

There are two noticeable places where you see an increase in hits. The first is in October when I moved the site reader to the top of the page. I can't remember where I saw that hint, but apparently if it is too far down, the little robotic spiders can miss it and some hits won't be counted. Then on Jan. 5, 2006 I wrote my first Thursday Thirteen, and I think in February I started Monday Memories. These are called Memes and you invite people to participate. I see that some of you like Carmen (so far the only blogger interested in applying to be my daughter-in-law) and Lazy Daisy (a pastor's wife and mother of a librarian) get a huge number of comments on Thursday. Carmen got 106! Wow. I can't imagine how you get around to visit everyone who drops their name and address at your blog. Are you speed readers?

And you should see the dip on Saturdays and Sundays. Apparently, there's a lot of blogging going on at work.

Today TLB isn't recognizing me, and for years it has said I average 71 hits a day, which is silly because it is usually 170-180, but today, sigh, he said I don't even exist!

2460 Dr. Sanity wonders why

The only time I read the "loyal opposition" is at some of the library sites, but Dr. Sanity is questioning the left, who I think are in the media or the new media (i.e. bloggers). And she simply asks the questions we've all thought about:

"You wonder why--if America is so terrible--we have a problem with too much immigration; and people desperately trying to get into the country. You wonder why--if America is so awful a place; on the verge of dictatorship--people (especially the loudmouths on the left--aren't scrambling for the last planes in a desperate attempt to get out to the safety of, say, Chavez' Venezuela (a much more progressive and enlightened part of the world); or peaceloving Iran (whose president genuinely seeks dialog with us).

Why, if whatever we do is imperialistic, immoral, and BAD, are re-enlistments in our warmongering military at an all-time record high? Are all those men and women stupid and foolish to throw their lives away for a system that doesn't care if they live or die--as long as it gets its oil?

Why, if everything in this country is going to hell in a handbasket, does its damn economy keep growing--at a rate faster than any other country in the world to be precise--even as gas prices rise and apparently destroy anyone's ability to put food on the table, let alone enjoy American Idol or their other favorites on TV."

Actually, Dr. Sanity, I'm concerned that Americans have it so good that they have to watch American Idol to get a little tension going.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen enjoyable things I've done since last Thursday. Have I mentioned I love being retired and being able to schedule anything I want to do?

1) Had dinner at a restaurant with my daughter while our guys were out of town on Friday.

2) After dinner we browsed a jewelry store and then a book store--something our husbands would find really boring.

3) We were guests at a Kentucky Derby dinner party on Saturday. My husband picked the winner and got 1/3 of the pool (2 others picked Barbaro). Saturday morning I hung a photography show at our Lytham Rd. campus with Howard. That hanging space is not as good as our other campus, so it's a bit of a challenge.

4) Sang in choir at two services on Sunday--"God so Loved the World." It was so beautiful my teeth hurt.

5) Met with our couples group from church Sunday evening at a home settled in a beautiful ravine for an evening of sharing and prayer.

6) Helped check-in and shelve books at the church library on Monday morning. Got to look at a lot of the new titles, and even some that were added when I was the church librarian 20 years ago. Took two long walks in the wonderful Spring weather. Updated my hobby bloggy.

7) Tuesday was cover-those-roots-day, with a visit to Melissa who worked her magic. Updated my church blog. Walked 2 miles in the old neighborhood.

8) In the afternoon on Tuesday I helped for several hours with the church picture directory. This is my fourth time slot for this--the first picture directory the church has done in nine years.

9) Writing class met on Wednesday at the public library, using my suggested topic. We've decided to stop bringing snacks--no one needed them but we all ate them anyway.

10) Choir met on Wednesday evening. Our Mozart Requiem concert has been postponed until October, so I'll be able to participate. The original date was Memorial Day Week-end. I'm still amazed they let me sing with them--it's such fun.

11) Cleaned like a possessed Flylady on Thursday, made the menu, checked it twice. Bought the whistles (see this entry).

12) Thursday the Visual Arts Ministry will finalize plans for the fall and next spring. The church will be celebrating its 50th anniversary in the fall, and that committee may need some assistance--although we have no budget. We don't hang shows in the summer, but are scheduling through 2007.

13) And finally, I'll set the table on Thursday and prepare to welcome my guests on Friday evening, relaxed and ready to enjoy myself. All events are better if the hostess is rested and happy.



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2457 More about skin care

If you are 60+, your left arm probably looks a little older than your right arm. For you youngsters, that's because in the "olden days" automobiles didn't have air conditioning, at least not the ones we drove in our teens and twenties when most of the sun damage happens. So we steered with our right hand, casually laid our left arm on the open driver's side window, with perhaps the index finger touching the steering wheel (if you're reading this across the pond, this will probably be reversed). Consequently, your left arm got a lot more sun and wind burn than your right. Pause to reflect: I'm sure Murray will correct me on this and say that the index finger controlled the car and the right arm was around his girl friend of the moment.

Or at least I thought this about my own arms as I was smearing on my Peaches and Creme this morning. So I counted brown spots, aka age spots (I'm retired and have time to do this). I have about 10 tiny spots on my right arm (if you are a Caucasian gardener or a golfer, your entire arm is probably a brown spot). My left arm is about the same but it has a slightly splotchy look, like there might be dozens of baby brown spots ready to bloom. It had one large spot which I had removed 2 weeks ago which still looks extremely mad that it got burned off. It wasn't precancerous the doctor said, just an ugly brown spot.

2456 Slip into bed

According to the beauty experts, your skin loses moisture while you sleep. "Forget the facelift" author says that you should cover your body with a rich lotion before hitting the sheets. Unless you're sleeping with my guy, then he may comment and wake you up to say something smells funny in the bedroom.

I don't care much for the current popularity of fruity or botanical fragrances. All the ones I liked died with the 60s and 70s and went to fragrance heaven (Shulton's Desert Flower, Prince Matchabelli's Summer Shower). But recently I bought a bottle of "Peaches and Creme" by Kiss My Face (got it at Trader Joe's) with alpha hydroxy acids, and I love it. I smell just like a peach pie fresh from the oven. Also, it is so much more reasonably priced than many moisturizers.

And I like alpha hydroxy products. I remember reading an article in a peer-reviewed dermatology journal about 10 years ago--they really do improve your skin. What www.kissmyface.com says:

"Alpha Hydroxy Acids are all-natural, safe and gentle substances found in fruits and sugar cane. This 4% AHA moisturizer is recommended for daily use on the face or body. This powerful moisturizer helps unblock and cleanse pores, speeds up the exfoliation process, allows new healthy skin cells to emerge, reduces discoloration and age spots, and quickly absorbs. As always, our products contain no animal ingredients, artificial colors, or unnecessary chemicals and were not tested on animals."

Thank you. Now Kiss My Face.

Kiss my face.com
moisturizer

What I've written about health

Stem Cell research

Syphilis on the increase

Dog bites

Diabesity

About safety

Chromosomes

Liberal states and high abortion rates

Americans and Brits

Accidents happen

Skin care

Whistle Stop Pot Luck

Dream Mom has a dream

Visit to the dermatologist

Socioeconomic groups and health care

It's the snacks

Pediatric obesity, downloads and deafness

Health care mess: book review

endometrial stem cells

allergies

voice problems

Mortality after hospitalization of a spouse

Health benefits of chewing gum

Death risk in 4 years

Health problems you can control

Polio epidemics

Avian Flu

FEMA--is this what you want for health care?

Cardiovascular Aging

Natural Tobacco

Illnesses and injuries I've had

MSMs and STDs

BMI at midlife

Exercise and Alzheimer's

Fat pills for dogs

Hand disinfection

Elizabeth Edwards

Children's sports medicine

Calorie restriction and health

Thursday Thirteen walking goals

Yoga and obesity in children

Golf swings and health issues

Government health care

Women who snore

Low birth weight and depression

Smoking and back pain

Vegetarianism and health

Testing malaria drugs on children

Protecting your skin

Statistics

Get the lead out

Chromosomes

Comparing health care costs over 40 years

Obamacare or Affordable Care Act

2455 Aging is a growth industry

because of all you baby boomers. Then Gen-X will be coming right up. Anyway, this fellow (long name) thinks we ought to have physical activity areas for older adults just like the McDonald's Playlands for children. Actually, considering how many overweight older adults I see hanging out at McDonald's, I think they should install them there.

Another U of I researcher says that physical fitness in older adults provides them a better sense of self-worth and improves their sense of happiness. "If we could bottle this stuff, we'd make a fortune selling it." says Ed McAuley, a kinesiology professor.

Both items are from Illinois Alumni, Vol. 18, Is. 4, Jan/Feb 2006, pp. 18-19

2454 Writing family memoirs

Today it is my turn to contribute the prompt for my writing group. I submitted, "List or expand on the ten pleasures, delights, frustrations, joys, or challenges of writing, collecting, or expanding family memoirs in the style you have chosen." After I started on the topic, I ended up with 4 typewritten (wp), single spaced pages, and I didn't even mention the class as one of the joys. The intent when I suggested it, was that the writer might record a map or a template for the one who follows, because you are always building a foundation for someone else's work.

I'm not going to post it here (aren't you glad). But one of the frustrations is that once I found genealogy on the internet, I was swamped and had to reinterpret who I was. Looking through family Bibles when I was young, I determined that both my parents were seventh generation Americans, both Church of the Brethren, one German descended, the other Scots-Irish. That made me eighth. For maybe 30 years, if the subject ever came up, I said, "I'm eighth generation American."

Then I joined a genealogy listserv for Church of the Brethren and found surname websites and county histories on the internet. I uncovered my foremothers' maiden names. And I found Cousin Dan. I bought his CD of my Wenger side (a lot of Mennonites) of the family "Hans and Hannah Wenger; North American Descendants" because the BOOK HAD 3,300 PAGES! Over three thousand pages of family I didn't know about until 1996!

I just printed off the "short list" from my FamilyTreeMaker for my ancestors--it runs to 20 pages, and I'm now 13th not 8th. It is messing with my mind.

Wenger Winger Wengert Wengerd Wingert Wingerd Wingard Whanger Reunion meets the 3rd week-end of August near Akron, PA. I've never attended.

Chart of the Brethren

2453 Firefox vs. Internet Explorer

Occasionally I switch to Firefox because there are certain blogs that I like that just shut down my whole operation if I try to view them in IE. It's really aggrevating, especially if you are clicking through a bunch of links through Mr. Linky's fine little program. Also, I've seen blogs that are virtually unreadable with half the text not viewable in Firefox, that are easily readable in IE. I just looked at Joan's site, Daddy's Roses, in Firefox and it is bizarro, as are her sisters'. You put up with this poor quality, Mr. Cloud, so you can keep open tabs? No thank you! I know that when I insert quotes or stories in boxes or dashes that work just fine in IE, they appear acres later in Firefox, after all the sidebar stuff.

Also, why the rush to leave blogger.com for WordPress or LiveJournal or your own domain? I've yet to see one of those that looked better, and here's why. Because often you can do MORE with them, and in reading text, MORE is not BETTER. You should strive for a bit of clarity and simplicity if you want people to READ. Blinking, flashing, burping and bouncing will make your readers ADHD if they weren't before.

Thank you for your attention. I know nothing will change. But sometimes it is important to spit into the wind.

Mozilla Firefox
Internet Explorer
Blogger.com

2452 Farewell to The New Leader

At lunch today I was reading the library's copy of The New Leader, final issue, January/April 2006. I told my husband it was a liberal magazine, folding after 82 years of publication. He asked me why. I looked through the foreword by Arthur M. Schlesigner Jr. (didn't know he was still alive--one of JFK's men) and didn't see a reason, although there was a sort of snarky remark about a conservative "small" magazine, The Nation, which "thanks to George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and its editor Katrina vanden Heuvel, now claims to have 200,000 subscribers and to be approaching a profit for the first time in its history." Whoa, is that sour grapes, or what?

So I told him I thought most print magazines were struggling with subscribers and advertising revenues. But I never really did see a reason listed. However, it is a well written magazine, and this issue is sort of a historical overview by many well-known writers including George Gilder, who says when he wrote for it, an independent mind was demanded, Diane Ravtch, of the first Bush administration, and Daniel Bell, who's written 14 books. An 82 year life in the political/cultural media is nothing to sneer at.

Octogenarian, one of my links, wrote about this in January.