Prison sentences

are a mystery to me. Yesterday we attended the funeral of a 47 year old man who had been murdered last week. It's a gut wrenching thing to see the grief of his son and sisters, nieces and nephews. And there are other families somewhere here in town who will soon lose their son or sons to prison. If the perps are all apprehended, they'll probably get a stiff sentence. If they don't get them for 24 years, maybe not.

Today's Dispatch reported on a Columbus woman who in 1982 conspired with her boyfriend to kill her first husband. She was a suspect at the time, but they didn't have proof. In a cold case investigation a year ago she was interviewed and her stories didn't match (it's very hard to remember a lie). After sitting in jail for awhile in Kansas declaring her innocence, she agreed to testify against the co-defendant. I think the reason is pretty limp--her church didn't approve of divorce, so they murdered him. Both of the murderers will face prison terms of 10 to 20 years and could be eligible for parole after 6 years. She didn't do the deed, but let the boyfriend in the house at night when the husband was sleeping so that it looked like a break-in. Story here.

Am I the only one who thinks this is a screwy system? If the body has turned to dust and the family members have died, the seriousness of infidelity and murder just sort of peters out? I feel very sorry for her [current] husband and children, but six years!

2165 A touching Valentine's tribute

The Columbus Dispatch publishes a full page of Valentine's tributes, memorials and dedications. This guy's heart is definitely in the right place, even if his spelling isn't. The photo of the happy couple shows him with a baseball cap and dark glasses, so I don't know what he looks like or how old they are. I would guess 40-50's.

"Happy 16th Valentine's Day together. I thank God the "wish I could-a", "wanna-be" loser chicks that wanted to get their dirty rotten mitts into me didn't git to 'cause I couldn't bear not being available to you when our stars crossed. So thank you Jesus! thank you Lord! thank you for my little Palma & me. I love you, Honey. Your Valentine, Pat-Eye.
P.S. Go ahead and pick out that dream house of your choice, any house not to exceed a fillion dillion dollars and an MP3 Player of your choosing.

2164 In first light

I've suggested before that I just drag the box out from under the bed, and we start reusing old Valentine, St. Patrick's and birthday cards, and after spending a lot of time at the card counter, he's decided it is time. "They are all so huge, or they are terribly mushy," he reported. He commented that he's never seen me "in first light" because I get up so much earlier than he does. We may not see each other until about 11 a.m. some days because I go to the coffee shop early and when I get home, he's off leading an exercise class for 15 sweaty women.



However, the ring is really nice and I love it. Blue sapphires and little diamonds.

2163 Dog and baby pics

Since I'm not a grandmother, I can't bore you with photos of the grandkids, but I can refer you to one of the funniest posts I've read in a long time that includes BOTH a dog and adorable children. Oh sure, your dog is cute and does outrageous things, but Jesse Jane with one eye that looks like a marble used to be top dog and has adjusted to Tired Tunia's two tots nicely. If you thought librarians were--well, like me--you've got to read her. That reminds me, I haven't visited Jinky for awhile, another shelter dog.

2162 The Marriage Gap

What did we get "liberating" all those women from marriage and husbands 30-40 years ago? Poor children, that's what we got. Read the whole story, in City Journal, "Marriage and Caste."

"When Americans began their family revolution four decades ago, they didn’t tend to talk very much about its effect on children. That oversight now haunts the country, as it becomes increasingly clear that the Marriage Gap results in a yawning social divide. If you want to discuss why childhood poverty numbers have remained stubbornly high through the years that the nation was aggressively trying to lower them, begin with the Marriage Gap. Thirty-six percent of female-headed families are below the poverty line. Compare that with the 6 percent of married-couple families in poverty—a good portion of whom are recent, low-skilled immigrants, whose poverty, if history is any guide, is temporary. The same goes if you want to analyze the inequality problem—start with the Marriage Gap. Virtually all—92 percent—of children whose families make over $75,000 are living with both parents. On the other end of the income scale, the situation is reversed: only about 20 percent of kids in families earning under $15,000 live with both parents."

". . . married, low-income, low-educated women enjoyed significantly higher living standards than comparable single mothers. Joe Sixpack may not be Mr. Darcy, but financially, at any rate, he’s a lot better than no husband at all."

"Children of single mothers have lower grades and educational attainment than kids who grow up with married parents, even after controlling for race, family background, and IQ. Children of divorce are also less likely to graduate and attend college, and when they do go for a B.A., they tend to go to less elite schools. . . Children who did not grow up with their two biological parents . . . were only half as likely to go to a selective college. As adults, they also earned less and had lower occupational status."

Two parents are better than one, it seems. But not if they are step parents and not if they are nonmarried cohabiting parents. Read the whole article. Marriage matters. Marriage isn't perfect, but for children, it's better than the alternative.

Much of the data in the City Journal report comes from the US DHHS.

poverty
marriage
women

2161 The Break-out Meme

Although I'd never heard of the "break-out meme" (the myth that Fahrenheit 911 did better in red states and Brokeback Mountain was doing the same), there's an interesting analysis of it, and the myth seems to only hurt Democrats.

"Remember when Democrats actually believed that Fahrenheit would help push Bush out of office? It didn't work out that way. Moore's film didn't change many minds in part because, as York puts it, it "never reached audiences that had the power to defeat the president at the polls." Despite all the "heartland" hype, it was a blue-state movie. York notes that Mel Gibson's Passion of Christ--a mirror-image "red state" movie that did well where Fahrenheit did badly, badly where Fahrenheit did well--prefigured the 2004 results, in that it attracted an audience roughly roughly three times the size of Farhenheit's (or six times Brokeback's!). kausfiles

2160 Wealth Distribution

The chart is missing from this on-line article in USA Today about the distribution of wealth in the United States, but it looked an awful lot like the intelligence bell curve lying on its side, except it's a bit lop sided for greater wealth than lesser wealth. I don't think the intelligence curve does that.

The mid-range of assets is 22% of the population falls between $25,000-$100,000. 31% is below that and 47% is above. 6.9% are at the bottom, and 7% are at the top. I'd say it looks pretty good, and I don't know why there are people who think it should be leveled or how that would help the poor.

"Financial assets — savings, checking or retirement accounts, stocks and bonds — and non-financial assets — a car, home or business — can spell the difference between security and drift. Assets mean access to college education, the ability to open a business, buy a house, have a secure retirement and a hedge against job loss."

The push is for Individual Development Accounts (IDAs), offering a one-to-one, two-to-one or better match for every dollar saved. It's the program I mentioned a few weeks ago written up in the WSJ where some women found money to save toward homes and businesses (matched by gov't funds) by giving up their cable, cell phones and manicures.

Wealth distribution
Financial assets

2159 Now that was a big deal

A hunter carelessly getting in the way of another hunter. It's unfortunate, but I don't consider that a big deal. People get careless, particularly when they are older and have done something hundreds of times. Or when they are very young. Or just being a guy will do it.

When I was 13, I had a really cute, tall boyfriend--small town, you know. He had a number of brothers. One of them found a gun their father had hidden under the bed, the kids were goofing off as kids will do, and the one brother accidentally shot and killed the other. Now, that was a big deal. If I remember it after all these years, I'm sure the family does too.

When I was about 14 I used to babysit for a poor family that had a number of runny nose children. Having sausage for supper was a big deal for them--the mother would spend a lot of time talking about it because I don't think they had meat very often (at that time sausage was much cheaper than hamburger, although it isn't now, and it was also much fatter). One of the boys had only one arm because the other had been severed by a corn picker. Now that was a big deal.

When I was about 15, my girl friend's 17 year old brother was killed in an auto accident a few miles out of town. Now that was a big deal.

Accidents. Youth. Testosterone. It's a volatile, sometimes leathal combination.

Anyone trying to make political hay out of V.P. Cheney's gun accident, doesn't know much about the accident rate for young boys and men.

Monday Memories

Monday Memories

Did I ever tell you about my green thumb?

On one of my parents’ visits (they lived in Illinois and we live in Ohio) when our children were about 4 and 5, my mother gave them each a small potted houseplant. I think they may have been starts from her kitchen window collection. I'm absolutely terrible with plants, but these two little things (I never took them out of their original pots and have no idea what they are called) managed to survive on my window sill at our house for over 30 years. They always looked just awful, but they were alive, and I admired their spunk.

People who knew about plants would pause at the window and try to snip off a few dead leaves and make suggestions like, "Why are you binding up their poor little feet in those small pots," or "Have you thought about fertilizer, moving them, trimming them, etc." But the two little plants just kept on keeping on, year after year, through pre-school, grade school, high school, birthday parties, prom dates, family crises, the kids moving out and finally moving on to their own marriages and homes and coming back to visit. In fact, those poor little scruffy, pitiful, limp plants sat on the window sill through two wedding brunches, in 1993 and 1998 (one described last week).

Before we moved to the condo in 2002 I gave one plant to my son, who seems to know about how to encourage green things. He even has a cactus collection; flowers bloom around his mailbox. The other one I put in the stairwell for a bit of greenery that wasn't artificial. Every now and then I'd bring it to the kitchen so it could look out the window, but there really is no place for plants in this kitchen. In general, condos are a bit light-deprived. Our house had 34 windows; the condo has maybe 10.

In mid-May of 2002 the remaining stunted, deprived plant started to falter. When I returned home from my parents' burial (Mom died in 2000 and Dad in 2002, but they were interred together) in late May I thought maybe it needed more sun since it had been accustomed to an east window at our house. So I put it outside in the covered entry area--you know--fresh air, sunshine. It works for people.

It continued to wilt, obviously in the throes of a death struggle. One little vine was left with green leaves among some sticks. After 32 years, I actually bought a bag of potting soil--something I'd never done when the little twig still had a chance. I moved it to a larger pot and put it on the deck on the north side to see if I could encourage it. But I think it knew its job was over.

Links to other Monday Memories
(If you participate, leave your link in the comments and I'll post it here)
1. Frog Legs , 2. Lady Bug, 3. Ocean Lady, 4. Joan 5. Ann 6. Kimmy 7. Jen 8. Crazie Queen
Click here for the Monday Memories code

Trackbacks, pings, and comment links are accepted and encouraged!
View More Monday Memories Participants

2157 When the children are tucked in their beds

Family Man Librarian gets out a good book to read. And he keeps track of his reading and posts the titles on his blog with LibraryThing, which he'll explain here.

2156 No, we do not need to see this film

Or read the book, for that matter.

"I just read a ludicrous statement by some Christian pastor, calling for all Christians to go to see The Da Vinci Code when it opens. His statement was something to the effect of "Every Christian needs to see this film!" I beg to differ.

No. We don't need to see this film. We all know what is in it. (Especially me, as I have read the screenplay.) It is a movie which begins from the point that Jesus was a fraud. He was not only not Divine, he was less than a man. And His Church is a sham association of meglomaniacal conspirators whose unifying principles are in the oppression of women." Barb at Church of the Masses.

Just say no. Vote with your non-ticket. Check out one of the 105 movies recommended by Sherri and stay home.

2155 Politics from the pulpit in black churches

is a given. We've got a black newspaper in town, and if you've ever looked at it, there are politicians in the pulpit all the time. In a black church in Columbus, OH you can find a John Edwards or a John Kerry or an Al Gore or a Jesse Jackson, and they aren't up there directing the choir or praying for healing of the sick. Civic involvement is the 11th commandment at a black church, and I say Amen, sisters. So why have a group of Columbus pastors and rabbis joined forces to file a complaint with the IRS against World Harvest and Rod Parsley? Yes, World Harvest had a voter registration drive and I think they probably signed up more voters than liberals did, but they also passed out food to the poor, more than the liberals did, and distributing food has become a government job, too. What is this? Pulpit envy?

I've never been to World Harvest, and have only glanced at Parsley on TV, but his organization is HUGE. His is the Wal-Mart Superstore of Pentecostal, crying, hollaring, gospel singing, tell-it-like-it-is churches.
John Kedwards getting blessings from the black pastors in the 2004 campaign

Line between church and state, my foot. This really stinks. Next thing you know they'll say churches can't speak about marriage, or abortion, or gambling because those areas belong to the government and not the Lord. I wonder how many of these 30+ pastors and rabbis contribute to the ACLU?

2154 And I thought our income tax was complicated!

A law passed in Congress in 1994 called the Victims of Nazi Persecution Act of 1994 creates a special right for survivors of the Holocaust. When they apply for federally funded benefits or services that are based on financial need, the payments they have received based on their status as a victim of Nazi persecution are not counted in determining their financial eligibility for these federally funded benefits. This is an exception to the usual rule that counts all income and assets when determining eligibility for programs based on need. Part A of this brochure explains these rules. Part B explains how to find out how much restitution you have received over the years, in order to show how much of your savings do not count in determining your financial need.

This is taken from Selfhelp pamphlet, but the 12 pages of instruction are not legal advice so it might be necessary to contact the specific agency and this group isn't responsible for incorrect information.

Again, can we all say it together through April 15? Why does the government make taking our money so difficult?

2153 Can't you sit like a lady?

One of the Thursday Thirteens I have in mind to write is proverbs, sayings and comments from my parents that have stayed with me over the years. We all have them, even if Mom and Dad died years ago. Oh, maybe it wasn't your parents; maybe grandma, or a friend you admired who sort of mentored you. But they are there, little phrases and sayings speaking out when you need them. Or don't need them and wish they'd go away.

Sometimes I can hear Daddy calling across the living room, "Can't you sit like a lady," but yesterday he was saying it from my memory bank to the lovely young mother talking to me via the video screen/DVD at church. She has movie star good looks, a fabulous voice (I think she said she was a communications and voice major in college), a great sense of humor, wisdom and a presence before an audience that must be natural, because she couldn't be old enough to have developed it from experience or training.

In the final session she is not in front of a studio audience, but supposedly is in her own family room for a wrap up and review. With her Bible, she sits down on her couch, tucks one leg under her bottom, and brings one bare foot up and immediately hikes her knee (she's wearing jeans) up in front of her chest. Sort of casual for talking to a couple of million ladies in Bible study, wouldn't you say? And I think that was the point. . . Ladies, let's get real and personal here was the idea her director and writer wanted to convey.

But I've seen women do that on national television. On Oprah. On David Letterman. Usually they are in jeans, occasionally in slacks, and I've never seen anyone do it in a dress, even if the dress would cover the exposed legs and bottom. Why do women sit that way? My mother's generation didn't (b. 1912). Nor did my grandmother's (b.1876). Sloppy posture and ungainly poses only started when women began wearing jeans and slacks in public (farm women and factory women wore them much earlier than urban women) in the 1940s. They aren't imitating men, because usually only gay guys sit that awkwardly, and I assume they are imitating women.

So from my daddy's lips to your ears and hips:
Can't you sit like a lady?

2152 The ACLU is after the Scouts again

They've got some blogging milmoms they'll have to fight. Blue Star Chronicles for one.

"So, while the ACLU defends NAMBLA they wage war against the Boy Scouts. They maintain NAMBLA is not harmful to our children. The Boy Scouts, on the other hand, are 'bigots' espousing values such as honor, integrity, discipline, self-reliance, participating in the community and helping others."

2151 Olympic thoughts

Badaunt is a New Zealander living in Japan teaching English and she had some thoughts on the Olympic skaters with the fire of passion in their helmets during the opening (truly the weirdest thing I've ever seen and I fully expect some kid to try it). She drifted into her fright from a bacon fire on her stove and some thoughts on teaching English:

"I have become very good at suppressing the occasional urge to shout obscenities. It is a side effect of working in a language classroom, where students who refuse to learn the most basic English will pick up rude language at lightening speed EVEN IF YOU ONLY WHISPER IT, and will repeat it back at you at every opportunity." Badaunt

Another thing children will imitate.

2150 If you film it they will come

Average rate of return on investment by film rating


from interview with Christian film maker Ralph Winter at Religion and Liberty

You vote with your entertainment dollars, not your protests.

2149 How not to marry a high maintenance woman

Since I wrote on How not to marry a jerk, I thought I should give women equal time. A female jerk is a "high maintenance woman," and we're not talking just money here, but time, energy and emotions. They wear you out and exhaust you with their games, chatter, nagging, gossip and whining. Again, I don't have personal experience with this, but I have friends and family who do. I even checked the internet on this one, and when guys talk about this, they usually mean $$$$. Women have a different interpretation, so I had to do some interviewing to write this one.

She might be high maintenance if

• every crisis is about her. When 9/11 happened, she was worried about her trip to NY, not about the victims or the country.
  
• she's never available to help. She wants you and your buddies to help her move, but she can't even hang a towel or run the vacuum at your house.
  
• she only calls when she needs something. You might as well say, "Hello, what do you need now?" when you see her number come up.
  
• she can't save money. Can't be bothered with learning the magic alphabet from 403-b to 401-k.
  
• she's paying off credit card debt at the minimum, and should have that entertainment center paid for in 2035.
  
• she still depends on daddy to bail her out of messes. He and not she has furnished that nice house and bought the expensive clothes, and he's hoping to unload her.
  
• she interacts very differently with others than she does when it's just the two of you.

She's definitely high maintenance, so just cut and run because it is hopeless if

• You've set the date and she's turned into Bridezilla.
  
• the ring isn't big enough, the right color, yada, yada.
  
• she can't rearrange her schedule because of her hair, her make-up, doesn't have the right clothes, etc.
  
• her clothes take up all the closets in the apartment, and yours are in a box in the basement, but you shouldn't be living together anyway, so you're a putz too.
  
• she is always on a diet, or says she is, but you suspect an eating disorder. Food is missing, or she spends a lot of time in the bathroom after a meal. This will only get worse and you'll be paying for hospitals and therapists.
  
• you've never seen her without make-up. Her bathroom looks like a cosmetic counter at Macy's. If she gets a zit, the world is ending.
  
• she speaks in psycho-babble. "You're never there for me!" "We need to talk" is a prelude to torture.
  
• Narcissis could be her middle name, or her favorite flower, but it's always all about her.
  
• she lies, particularly about her ex-, former jobs, sexual harrassment, what things cost, or even the time and temperature if it brings her the attention she craves.
  
• there are many signs that she is overusing alcohol or doing drugs, but you keep making excuses for her behavior, her tardiness, her missed days at work, her damaged relationships because you like feeling like a hero. If you couldn't rescue her, what would you do with your time?
  
• she can't say no to people, particularly her parents.
  
• she is so overcommitted on activities you have to both get out your PDAs to even have a coffee date.
  
• she won't consider your church--its too liturgical or too informal or too big or too small, or too Catholic or too Pentecostal, but she never attends her own.
  
• she doesn't have custody of her children, and misses her child support payments.
  
• she ridicules people who have disabilities, or who are different than she, or who are a different race or ethnic group.
  
• she's a potty mouth. She knows more bad words and dirty jokes than you do. It might be funny now, but think about your future children and the board of directors if you ever go that high.
  
• you are looking for someone to fix, or someone to fix you.

2148 Looking for a good movie

to check out from the library for the week-end, or maybe for Valentine's Day? Semicolon has a list of 105 with a brief review. I'm guessing she's seen every one of them, too.

17. Chariots of Fire (1981)
Chariots is absolutely the most inspiring movie about standing firm for what one believes that I've ever seen.
Eric Liddell: I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure

21. Driving Miss Daisy (1989)
This movie won the Academy Award for Best Picture in 1989, and Jessica Tandy won Best Actress. It's about the friendship between an elderly Southern Jewish lady and her black chauffer. Organizer Daughter says it's extremely boring, but I like old people and relationship movies.

25. Father of the Bride (1950)
Spencer Tracy makes a better father than Steve Martin, more twinkle-in-the-eye. And Elizabeth Taylor is beautiful as usual.

32. Gone with the Wind (1939)
Classic. "I'll think about that tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day." "I don't know nothing about birthin' no babies, Miz Scarlett." "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." You just have to get the accent right.

40.It Happened One Night (1934)
Clark Gable is a reporter in this romantic comedy about a run-away rich girl.

55. The Miracle Worker (1962)
Anne Bancroft plays Teacher Annie Sullivan, and a young Patty Duke plays Helen Keller. The scene in which Helen recognizes her first words at the water pump is classic-worth the whole movie.

Well, just look at the whole list. It's fun.

2147 Dianne's so relieved!

"Iraq war protester Cindy Sheehan announced Thursday that she would not run against U.S. Sen. Dianne Feinstein, sparing the Democratic incumbent a high-profile challenger in the June primary.

At a news conference in San Francisco, Sheehan sharply criticized Feinstein for voting to authorize President Bush to invade Iraq." (LAtimes.com)

Like she had a chance. Democrats are not stupid.