Saturday, April 05, 2014

Three Grandmas read Beyonce’s lyrics

GRANDMA 1: "Have you heard Kanye West and Beyoncé's new song 'Drunk in Love?' It's ridiculous"
GRANDMA 2: "They sing it together? Kanye West and Beyonce? What is Kanye West, a basketball player or a singer?"
GRANDMA 3: "Kanye West is a singer."
GRANDMA 2: "No I think he's a basketball player."
GRANDMA 1: "No. He's a rapper."
GRANDMA 2: "Kim Kardashian likes 'em big, trust me. He's a basketball -- although I've never seen him play."
GRANDMA 1: "He's not tall."
GRANDMA 2: "Oh then he's a rapper. But you don't like the song? What did you say --"
GRANDMA 1: "Oh, the newest song is ridiculous. Watch. All the teenagers are singing this. 'Woo, 'cause you a myth and I'm a mother-f***ker. Yeah tonight I see some super freaky hos.'"
GRANDMA 2: "That's -- that's --"
GRANDMA 1: "'That could go from being strippers to a super CEO. You reverse, you reverse, and I'm impregnating your mouth.'"
GRANDMA 3: "Oh."
GRANDMA 2: "Why you even putting this out for me to see? would you even put that in --"
GRANDMA 1: "'Cause I'm a visionary."
GRANDMA 2: "Why do you do this sh**?"
GRANDMA 1: "'I put you on that bike you bound girl, we too won't turn down, we drunk in love f***'"
GRANDMA 2: "Oh god."
GRANDMA 1: "You know --"
GRANDMA 2: "This is a disk, a record?"
GRANDMA 1: "Yeah. Number one."
[CROSSTALK]
GRANDMA 3: "But a teenager, kids don't read this --"
GRANDMA 2: "But Beyoncé, her husband is such a sweetheart. You don't mind her saying 'we be all night and everything all right. Boy I'm drinking, park it in my lot. 7-11.' What the hell is 7-11? 'I'm rubbing on it, rubbing rubbing. If you're scared go --' We never talk when we have sex. What's all this talking? 'Then I fill the tub up half way then I ride it with my surf board. Surf board, surf board. Grinding on the' -- Get out of here, I don't want to finish. 'Grinding on that wood, grinding grinding on that wood. I'm swerving on that, swerving, swerving on that.' They must have a big bathtub.'"
GRANDMA 3: "Hold up that doocy? D'USSÉ? It's the sh** if I do say so myself.' Wait, 'hold up that douche. Douche?'"
GRANDMA 2: "What the hell is D'USSÉ?"
GRANDMA 1: "Hold up the deuce means this."
GRANDMA 3: "Oh that. 'It's the sh** if I do say so myself. Slip, slide the panties right to the side. Ain't got the time to take of drawers. I'm Ike, Turner, turn up, Baby no I don't play, now eat the cake, Anna Mae
Said, "Eat the cake, Anna Mae!"'"
GRANDMA 2: "Oh, this is disgusting."
GRANDMA 3: "Who the hell is Anna Mae anyway?"
GRANDMA 2: "I don't know, I think she wrote a book."
GRANDMA 3: "'I'm nice, for you all to reach these heights. Sleep tight, we sex again in the morning, your beastesness --"
GRANDMA 2: "Your breastases."
GRANDMA 3: "Your breasts."
GRANDMA 2: "'-- is my breakfast. We goin in we--' Oh my. And that's a number one hit? That's a piece of sh**"
GRANDMA 3: "I don't like those lyrics at all."

https://grabien.com/story.php?id=7114

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