We’re the mop up crew

In adult Sunday school class at Upper Arlington Lutheran Church yesterday Dave told us a vivid story of how we are to defeat Satan. He said his father was in the Battle of the Bulge, the greatest and longest battle of WWII in the dead of winter with terrible losses on both sides. His father told him that although the allies won, those who survived the battle still had to contend with the dangerous mop up in each village they passed through. And that's what we have to do. Christ has won the battle, but we have to do the mop up. That's a paraphrase of course, and don't ask about the sermon because I can only handle one good story a day.

Well, actually I remember one other. Our pastor, Steve Turnbull, told us during the 9:00 traditional service his 20th wedding anniversary is this week. I looked around the sanctuary at all the gray heads--at least for one couple I think it's 75, and some celebrating in the 50s and 60s. Many have grandchildren older than our pastor. We were probably all thinking--"you babies."

Saying Good-bye is painful

What made saying good-bye to this dress so difficult is that my mother made it. She was only 43 and I was probably 15 when I checked on her progress each day after school.  I still have an apron she made for me 50 years ago from a skirt she made for me in high school!  I still have the formal she made for me for the Christmas Dance of 1955. I still have the cloth doll she made for me in elementary school and the doll clothes she sewed and gave me at Christmas in the 1940s. I have pillows at our cottage she made in 1990.  So giving up this dress which I watched her cut out on our dining room table with trembling hands (she was a self taught seamstress) was BIG.  But yesterday it went to the Discovery Shop, which sells clothes and household items to raise funds for cancer. There are no women in the family to pass it to. I had heard that Vineyard Church had a bridal ministry, but when I called, I was told there was someone who had a ministry in Brazil that would take it.

Ready to take it to Discovery

Hanging in the sorting room

One last time

Our wedding day, September 1960

At our 50th party in Columbus in September 2010

Monday Memories--Our wedding party

On the average, probably not too bad.

I was looking at this photo of our wedding party--a very low budget wedding, September 11, 1960. Our best man, Tom--married 50 years this June; our maid of honor, JoElla--48 years; our usher Dick, 50 years; the bride and groom, 50+ years; our usher, Scot--married 4 times, at least (we see him at class reunions); our mystery usher--don't remember his name nor what became of him (not sure we ever saw him after the wedding).

Update: Extensive research (reading the newspaper article about our wedding, and checking the Tech Cannon 1957) reveals the mystery guy is James Schafer, but I still know nothing about him.

On the road to the wedding--Monday Memories

Today I received a 50th anniversary card from my cousin Sharon Weybright, which included a photograph of her and her fiance at an Oasis rest stop near Chicago, taken by her father, Leslie, when the family was on the way to our wedding in Mt. Morris, Illinois on September 11, 1960. I think the tollway was only about a year or two old then, and Fred Harvey Restaurants were the vendors. The Harvey restaurants started on trains in the 1870s and continued to serve travellers in automobiles until the mid-1960s.

Notice not only how glamorous Sharon is--hat, gloves, high heels (she was about 21), but how well dressed the people are who are entering the restaurant. It was a different time. No baggy jeans and butt cracks in those days!

September 11, 1960

And all the while the world whirled by--the Vietnam War, the Jesus Movement, the Civil Rights movement, the cultural revolution in China, new immigrants fleeing their homelands, the rise of Feminism, assassinations of our leaders, apocalyptic religious timetables, the Cold War, the nuclear arms race, the obsession with youth culture, the fall of the Berlin Wall, the collapse of the Soviet Union, the rise of the European Common Market and the Euro, Middle East wars and terrorism, increasing depravity in entertainment, the 9/11 attack (on our anniversary!), the loss of family and friends through divorce and death, and technology drawing us inward while pushing us apart. Barely able to keep up the pace and race, we eventually got a garage door opener, microwave, computer and a cell phone. We traveled to Alaska, major cities and tourist spots in the U.S., Germany, Austria, Ireland, Italy, Finland, Estonia, Russia, and toured the Holy Land seeing sights we never dreamed we‘d see on trains, planes, buses, foot and camel. Whew! What a ride it has been. How fast the time has gone and how blessed we have been.
Update: September 12--a few party photos:

What a surprise! My sister had the wedding dress sent (a big hush, hush secret) which our mother made for her in 1955, and which I wore in 1960.



Another huge surprise--my brother came from Illinois! The new deck (finished on Saturday) worked out great.



We cut the cake about 3 p.m., but most of the guests were enjoying the lovely weather and were outside on the deck or in the tent.  The knife is the one we used at our wedding.

Our Indiana family drove over for the occasion and my son-in-law's father from Cleveland.

Friends from UALC enjoying some fellowship in the family room.  We think there were between 115-120 guests, most signed the guest register, which was also my original book from 1960.

The Antiques Roadshow, Bruce version

We are taking our anniversary celebration on the road, so to speak. With friends and relatives spread across the country, some unable to travel, we are becoming party animals with an August, September and October celebration for our 50th wedding anniversary. Here's a selection of photos from the Lakeside event. Although the temperature was hot--90-ish--the breeze was great and we didn't have the predicted rain. Lake Erie presented a never ending show of color and fun, as we could hear the happy squeals and splashing of children right below the pavilion. It was a perfect day!

The Bruce siblings, Ohio, Indiana and California

The dessert table, brownies, cookies, iced tea, lemonade, and fresh fruit; another table had memorabilia

Families Bruce, Poisal, Poynter, Kelle, Doncevic--together in the same place, at the same time for the first time

Our children, all of whom have been Lakesiders from a very young age

Monday Memories from my cousin

Bill and Gayle were married August 30, 1959 in the Mt. Morris, Illinois Church of the Brethren. She writes this about the memories of the last 50 years.

"We grew up on the same street, went to the same school and attended the same church. Our first date was on June 5, 1955. Our first home was Mrs. Isley’s upstairs apartment 3 blocks from the campus of the University of Northern Iowa where we were students.

Gayle remembers:
-purchasing an Eureka vacuum cleaner with wedding money
-washing, starching, hanging, sprinkling and ironing ALL our clothes
-being afraid to light our gas oven & burning cookies
-waxing our linoleum floors every Saturday
-shopping at Cardinal Grocery & saving King Korn yellow stamps
-attending all of Bill’s varsity basketball games
-being relieved to learn that my new husband cleaned his own “game”
-wearing skirts, never slacks or jeans, to class
-playing Johnny Mathis, Ray Conniff, Nat King Cole, Percy Faith & Henry Mancini records on our stereo (no TV)
-intertwining “homemaking” with “homework”

Bill remembers:
-driving our ‘48 green Plymouth sedan
-having a basketball scholarship to help with expenses
-eating at the Panther Pizzeria after games (Pizza was new back then)
-working at the Western Auto & selling a lot of Lawn Boy mowers (new)
-hunting for pheasant and quail on Iowa farms
-having teammates over for meals
-juggling basketball practices, games, roadtrips and classes

We laughed a lot that first year and we still do; but the important relationship with our Lord and Savior didn’t come until we went to Alaska to teach. It has been our joy to follow Christ through the ups and downs of life for many years now. We’ve been blessed with four beautiful children and eleven grandchildren so far. We are grateful for our fifty years together. We want to encourage you to trust and obey God on your personal journey too!"

Thank you Gayle--wonderful memories and good advice!

I vaguely remember ironing.

3162 Monday Memories

Did I ever tell you about John and Wilma?
We went to their 50th anniversary party yesterday and had an old time, 1950s blast. Their three children hosted it at the Nutcracker Restaurant in Pataskala, OH which is completely decorated in 1950s decor, without being hokey--and in beautiful condition. The invitations had arrived with a 50s rock 'n roll theme, and guests were urged to wear 50s clothing (we didn't--I still have a 1955 formal that requires a 23" waist--but some of the outfits were hilarious).

Usually the restaurant closes at 2 p.m. on Sunday, but someone knew the owner who agreed to stay open for the party and have his experienced staff serve all the dinners. We all enjoyed huge combos of either chili-cheese hotdogs and/or cheeseburgers with sides of coleslaw, onion rings and french fries, served with root beer floats or any other soft drink we wanted. A gorgeous cake was served from the authentic fountain area that had a yummy raspberry filling. A disc jockey played 50s music all evening plus some popular Christian music--Gaithers if I'm not mistaken.

Their children had prepared a nice video of photographs of their parents' family life and career, including all the grandchildren. A photographer was roaming taking shots that will later be put on a web site. They also supplied trivia at each table on cards with John and Wilma's wedding photo and gave out prizes to the winners--Elvis records (not cds). Most of us could shout out the answers to "What was Mohammed Ali's real name?" and "Who did President Eisenhower defeat to win re-election?"

John and Wilma met when she was in high school and he was in college. She had just moved to Lynchburg, OH and he was home for a visit with some other guys when she caught his eye. They were interviewed by their two oldest grandchildren (in their 20s) with questions submitted by the guests and told some funny stories about their long courtship and early married life, when he was a high school coach and she was working. One thing a little unusual for a 50th is that their mothers are still living, and Wilma's was at the celebration--not looking a day over 80. John's mother is in a nursing home, but even after raising 12 children is alert and sharp, he said.

We met John in the early 1980s when my husband was a partner in Feinknopf, Macioce, Schappa, Architects and had gone down to Hillsboro, OH to supervise a school construction project. He was so impressed with the superintendent, John, that he just raved about him. I went with him on one trip (beautiful country down there), and was also charmed, not just with John, but the lovely community tucked away in the hills with a thriving economy. One thing that impressed my husband was that John knew every child in each building by name! And last night he did the same, by going around the room and introducing each guest by name and telling how they knew them and met. One guy, probably in his 60s, was a member of one of the high school teams John coached--another had been an older mentor, also a coach, others members of Bible study groups going back 20 or 30 years.

About six years ago, John and Wilma bought a summer place at Lakeside, OH where we have a cottage. They purchased a trailer in the campgrounds and just love it there. Although not at all interested when Bob told them years ago about Lakeside, they had apparently visited one week-end and fell in love with it. So we've been able to continue seeing them off and on in their retirement. A few years ago, they bought a condo in central Ohio so they could be closer to the grandchildren, since all their children settled in the Columbus area. But not too close--they are enjoying their retirement, and have many friends and activities.

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Reasons to Celebrate a 50th Wedding Anniversary

While looking for something else, today I came across my file of letters, 1980-1990. I wrote my parents once a week, usually, and then would periodically retrieve my letters which my mother saved. It gave me a good diary in the days before blogs. I've been married 45 years, so finding this letter giving my own parents advice and reasons they should celebrate their 50th made me realize we'll be there soon. Apparently, Dad had decided early that there would be NO 50th celebration. His word was law in our family and he and I knocked heads often. I wrote this letter almost two years before the fact, so it was apparently an item of family discussion. I won--they did have a wonderful celebration in August 1984.

I apparently began this campaign in 1980

January 3, 1983

Dear Folks,

I wanted to ask you again to reconsider about having a 50th wedding anniversary reception. I really do consider it an important milestone, not only in your lives, but in the lives of your children and grandchildren. Maybe it isn't the kind of thing you normally enjoy, but it only happens once.

It is unlikely that your whole family will ever be together again (children and grandchildren) in the same location--our ages and locales are just getting too divergent. Julie, Dave, Karen, Cindy and Greg are all adults now, and by the summer of 1984 even your youngest grandchild will be a teen-ager. This would probably be the last time we would ever all be "Home" at the same time. Even that idea may not be appealing to you, but that's not a very good reason to NOT have a get together.

One of the most significant things I remember about Grandad [my father's grandfather] is that he never wanted anyone to have a family reunion, so the only time I ever saw some of my cousins on that side was at his funeral. I think it was the first time I met Sharon [cousin 3 years older than me]. The logic of his reasoning is beyond me--we did all get together, but he missed it.

You were married during the Depression, survived the war years, struggled through business ups and downs, maintained your cool with four teen-agers, redeemed the empty nest with new careers and interests, suffered the loss of your parents, siblings, grandchildren, and helped mend broken relationships. I don't want you to celebrate the fact that two handsome, smart, naive kids got married in 1934, but the fact that those two young people were able to support and love each other and the many people whose lives depended on them.

How about punch and cake at the church, and about two days when everyone tried to get to Mt. Morris at the same time--lots of pictures and memories for my children and their cousins to tell their grandchildren. And if their recall is only that they talked to their 2nd or 3rd cousin whom they never saw again, well, what's so bad about that?

The two of you have always lived around family--you probably don't even realize the sense of connectedness and security that gives you because you take it for granted. But we don't--so we have to settle for a few intense, hectic days once in awhile to have that same sense of belonging. I hope you will rethink your decision not to have a 50th wedding celebration.

Love,

August 25, 1984