Reasons to Celebrate a 50th Wedding Anniversary
While looking for something else, today I came across my file of letters, 1980-1990. I wrote my parents once a week, usually, and then would periodically retrieve my letters which my mother saved. It gave me a good diary in the days before blogs. I've been married 45 years, so finding this letter giving my own parents advice and reasons they should celebrate their 50th made me realize we'll be there soon. Apparently, Dad had decided early that there would be NO 50th celebration. His word was law in our family and he and I knocked heads often. I wrote this letter almost two years before the fact, so it was apparently an item of family discussion. I won--they did have a wonderful celebration in August 1984.
January 3, 1983
Dear Folks,
I wanted to ask you again to reconsider about having a 50th wedding anniversary reception. I really do consider it an important milestone, not only in your lives, but in the lives of your children and grandchildren. Maybe it isn't the kind of thing you normally enjoy, but it only happens once.
It is unlikely that your whole family will ever be together again (children and grandchildren) in the same location--our ages and locales are just getting too divergent. Julie, Dave, Karen, Cindy and Greg are all adults now, and by the summer of 1984 even your youngest grandchild will be a teen-ager. This would probably be the last time we would ever all be "Home" at the same time. Even that idea may not be appealing to you, but that's not a very good reason to NOT have a get together.
One of the most significant things I remember about Grandad [my father's grandfather] is that he never wanted anyone to have a family reunion, so the only time I ever saw some of my cousins on that side was at his funeral. I think it was the first time I met Sharon [cousin 3 years older than me]. The logic of his reasoning is beyond me--we did all get together, but he missed it.
You were married during the Depression, survived the war years, struggled through business ups and downs, maintained your cool with four teen-agers, redeemed the empty nest with new careers and interests, suffered the loss of your parents, siblings, grandchildren, and helped mend broken relationships. I don't want you to celebrate the fact that two handsome, smart, naive kids got married in 1934, but the fact that those two young people were able to support and love each other and the many people whose lives depended on them.
How about punch and cake at the church, and about two days when everyone tried to get to Mt. Morris at the same time--lots of pictures and memories for my children and their cousins to tell their grandchildren. And if their recall is only that they talked to their 2nd or 3rd cousin whom they never saw again, well, what's so bad about that?
The two of you have always lived around family--you probably don't even realize the sense of connectedness and security that gives you because you take it for granted. But we don't--so we have to settle for a few intense, hectic days once in awhile to have that same sense of belonging. I hope you will rethink your decision not to have a 50th wedding celebration.
Love,
Dear Folks,
I wanted to ask you again to reconsider about having a 50th wedding anniversary reception. I really do consider it an important milestone, not only in your lives, but in the lives of your children and grandchildren. Maybe it isn't the kind of thing you normally enjoy, but it only happens once.
It is unlikely that your whole family will ever be together again (children and grandchildren) in the same location--our ages and locales are just getting too divergent. Julie, Dave, Karen, Cindy and Greg are all adults now, and by the summer of 1984 even your youngest grandchild will be a teen-ager. This would probably be the last time we would ever all be "Home" at the same time. Even that idea may not be appealing to you, but that's not a very good reason to NOT have a get together.
One of the most significant things I remember about Grandad [my father's grandfather] is that he never wanted anyone to have a family reunion, so the only time I ever saw some of my cousins on that side was at his funeral. I think it was the first time I met Sharon [cousin 3 years older than me]. The logic of his reasoning is beyond me--we did all get together, but he missed it.
You were married during the Depression, survived the war years, struggled through business ups and downs, maintained your cool with four teen-agers, redeemed the empty nest with new careers and interests, suffered the loss of your parents, siblings, grandchildren, and helped mend broken relationships. I don't want you to celebrate the fact that two handsome, smart, naive kids got married in 1934, but the fact that those two young people were able to support and love each other and the many people whose lives depended on them.
How about punch and cake at the church, and about two days when everyone tried to get to Mt. Morris at the same time--lots of pictures and memories for my children and their cousins to tell their grandchildren. And if their recall is only that they talked to their 2nd or 3rd cousin whom they never saw again, well, what's so bad about that?
The two of you have always lived around family--you probably don't even realize the sense of connectedness and security that gives you because you take it for granted. But we don't--so we have to settle for a few intense, hectic days once in awhile to have that same sense of belonging. I hope you will rethink your decision not to have a 50th wedding celebration.
Love,
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