Today I got my new Macy's card attached to a bright red and white "Congratulations" letter--enclosed with 4 pages of tiny print with a very nasty tone. “The following terms apply to both your store account purchases and American Express account purchases. It seems there’s an entity behind all this called “Department Stores National Bank” which is known as “we”, “us”, and “our”, and I‘m “you“ and “your.”
“Payments in excess of the Minimum Payment Due will be applied in accordance with law, and payments less than the Minimum Payment Due and credits will be applied at our discretion.”
Returns and credits are not applied toward your minimum payment due. Oops. I mean--Minimum Payment Due with capital letters.
“The late payment fee for each billing cycle bill be $25; or $35 for any additional past due payment during the next six billing cycles after a past due payment.” Huh?
“We may add a returned check fee for a returned payment--electronic debit, payment check, or similar payment instrument which is returned unpaid. We may add this fee the firs time your payment is returned, even if it is not returned upon resubmission. The fee will be $25; or $35 or any additional returned payment during the next six billing cycles . . . But will not exceed that permitted by law.” Woot!
You could do a telephone transfer from a deposit account, but “we” will charge a Pay-by-Phone Fee for each such transfer. . .but “we” won’t tell how much that is unless you request this optional payment service.
If for some reason you want copies of your statements, then “we” will charge you $3.00 PER ITEM--
And if you die, and “we” fail to receive Minimum Payment Due “we” can declare the entire unpaid balance in your Account due and payable (paraphrase).
We can change any thing we want in this agreement--we’ll mail you the changes but only if you’ve first notified us you are moving (paraphrase).
We can assign any information you gave us to open this account to anyone we damn well please (I’m paraphrasing), and don’t come whining to us if you think we made a mistake, contact the Credit Bureau Dispute Verification, etc. Mason, OH.
And you realize all this is done from South Dakota. What?
You are only half way down the first page, and can’t even grasp was #19 says.
On to the next section:
The annual percentage rate description is so arcane, you can’t understand it, but it is calculated at 24.50% which corresponds to a Daily Periodic Rate of .06712%. But that could increase. . .
“We” can terminate the use of your Account without giving you notice in advance. . .
Then in the last third of the 2nd page is “Your Billing Rights,” in which we tell you what we will do if you think there is an error. (paraphrase)
Then the next document is about how we share your information.
Everyone we do business with; everything you do or any information you gave us.