#12 Who’s lying?

Yesterday’s Columbus Dispatch ran an article “The truth about lying,” which stated adults may lie from 13 times a week to 25 times a day. The side bar chart listed the “Pants on Fire” signs like throat clearing, increased stammering, qualifiers, vague content, losing train of thought, and the following declaratives, “did not” “could not” and “however.”

That’s dumb (clearing my throat) I couldn’t, um, possibly, er, say, er, speak, er, point out, anything, ever, without um doing, um thinking, supposing, all or most of that.

The biggest lie I’ve seen recently is the one on the sealed package of sliced, cooked, roast beef: “To open, tear along dotted line.” After you get the strip off, you need to call the emergency squad to bring the Jaws of Life so you can make your sandwich. And that’s no lie.