#22 The anniversary

I'm at an age where many of my friends have lost a spouse. Some a number of years ago. Like the happy anniversaries of birthdays and weddings, there are sad anniversaries too. The ones that give you pause when you remember and to which you don't call attention. This poem is about that, but it could be the anniversary of any loss.

I read this poem at the poetry "open mic" at our library this October.

“The Anniversary"
August 10, 2003

The first year is the hardest.
In your mind you're wearing black;
you still hear his voice
see his smile
feel his touch and
pick up the phone
to share and then
you remember.

The second year is harder yet.
You've shed the arm band;
now you don't hear his voice
or see his smile
or smell his clothes and
there's only black holes
where once you had
your memories.

The third year is just a blur.
Mourning is officially over;
you fill up the calendar pages
make new friends
buy tickets for a cruise and
stand here surprised
when he's not home
to share it all.

The fourth year is a wake up call.
Everyone else has moved on;
you decide instead of nothing
you'd rather have the pain
and sleepless nights
and wonder why they said
Time would be your friend