A certain man in my life (for his protection I’ve made up a name) decided he’d try substitute teaching in his school district. We’re about the same age, so right away, you know he’s too old to take on such a dangerous assignment. It reminds me of the years my father was taking temporary jobs in his retirement, such as night watchman at a prison or driving a school bus. The bus driver job was the tougher one he said.
Things are different these days, Smithy told me. He first logged on to his computer at home and entered a password, and found the list of available spots for the day.
“Ah, that one looks good for a first try. Only half day, and at a near by smaller school. Sixth grade math. I should be able to handle that.”
When he found the school he was buzzed in (all doors were locked) and Smithy says the look on the receptionist’s face when she saw a 78 year old should have clued him in there was trouble ahead. He walked about half a mile down the hall to the classroom. The regular teacher was probably late-20s and had a well prepared lesson plan for the afternoon. She met with him about 15 minutes and explained that at 11:57 he would open the door (to the outside) where the students would be lined up. At the correct time he opened the door and led the students in, and they all started to run to different locations, but most took seats in his classroom.
Smithy hadn’t taken “Education” courses in college like I did (he had taught college level), but I remember the first instruction in Education 101 is “Don’t smile until Thanksgiving” or they’ll think you’re a push over. Yup. He smiled. Immediately 5 or 6 boys began to act out and take advantage of the old dude, fresh meat. There was a boy in the class who was “mainstream” and had an IEP and wanted a pass to leave. All was lost after that. He completely disrupted things and the other boys began with the smart aleck remarks teasing the challenged student.
One boy was so disruptive Smithy decided to escort him back to his seat (they were running around the classroom). Smithy didn’t know the rules, but the students did. “You can’t touch me—take your hand off my arm,” the little snot told the man old enough to be his great grandfather.
That class was 12 to 1. Then the 2nd period was about 25 minutes, time to prepare. At 2:02 there was a time period called “Social Emotional Learning, SEL. During this time they were to concentrate on the book, “Who moved my cheese.” Not sure how that applies to math, but apparently it is something about anticipating change and time management. The book was published over 20 years ago and has sold over 26 million copies in 37 languages. The main characters are two mice and two quasi-humans called Hem and Haw.
The third period was 2:30-3:11 (school dismisses at 3:11, teachers stay until 3:30) and Smithy only had about half a classroom. This seemed to be a time out/study hall period for people who were in trouble. Some one had quit band, and someone else had been kicked out of choir, and so forth. The librarian saved the day. The kids were so disruptive that she entered the classroom and told them they were being too loud and to quiet down. Smithy was stunned. The class came to attention immediately and were quiet when she showed up. They were angels.
And through it all, one little Asian boy worked diligently on his studies. Nothing the rowdy gang did distracted him. Smithy said, “He’ll be the class valedictorian.” The boys were the disrupters, the girls mostly tried to help. They provided directions to the correct locations, but to the boys, he was just fresh meat.
Smithy was so thankful it was just 3 hours, but he still had a fairly long evaluation to complete. He offered his advice on how the day could have gone better, like more time with the classroom teacher, and who had been helpful. He asked if he could come back as an observer and watch how the regular teacher handled the discipline and instruction.
But he particularly wanted to shadow that librarian and see what her tricks were.
Update: January 19, 2022.Mr. Smith remembers that day as yesterday. When he went in to talk to the Principal about the situations he faced that dreadful afternoon, and he was given a facial expression of "heard this all before". The reason was given that the school district, upon consolidation with another district, had to accept students (poor white trash) from the trailer court just outside the city. OH MY, WHAT LOGIC!!!
The other memory of that fateful day has been finally put to bed with my check for $6.47 from the TRS (teacher retirement system) and the State of Illinois. Yesterday, after 2 years on my part to save that system $$ by not sending out reports and other correspondence quarterly, I was allowed to close my TRS account. It took numerous phone calls (the first informed me I could not close this wonderful cushion for retirement) and other negative comments about why I would be foolish to "CASH" out and the last being an 8-page notice regarding what the IRS is going to do to me if I took a "LUMP SUM DISTRIBUTION". The final threat was that if I pulled out of the union, I would never be allowed to re-up again!!!! PRAISE THE LORD
Mr. Smith holds a Substitute Teaching License through 2025 through the Regional Office of Education #47 for the Counties of X, Y, and Z after submitting and passing the following:
- 1-9 Employment Eligibility Verification,
- Illinois teaching certificate,
- College Transcript,
- Mandated Reporter Status for Child Abuse,
- Physical exam,
- TB Test,
- Fingerprint based criminal history,
- Successful check of the Illinois Statewide Sex Offender Data Base,
- Successful check of the Illinois Statewide Child Murderer and Violent Crimes Against Children Data Base.
SMITTY
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