Sad news for Honey Dip Customers

 My husband and his Romeo (retired old men eating out) friends have been meeting here for years. It's sad to see small businesses chased out for what I presume will be yet another ugly, multistory, prison architecture building. Story was on Facebook.

"It is with heavy hearts that we share difficult news. For over 50 years, we’ve proudly served the Columbus community at 4480 Kenny Road. But now, we—along with our small business neighbors—are at risk of losing our home to redevelopment.

Unfortunately, our landlord’s property went into receivership due to internal disputes, and a court-appointed receiver has quietly arranged to sell these buildings as part of a package deal to developers—without giving us notice or a fair chance to purchase the spaces we’ve occupied for decades. 

We are heartbroken, feel blindsided, and have been left without a voice in this process. If this sale and redevelopment move forward, our businesses—and a piece of Columbus history—face permanent displacement. 

We need your support now more than ever.
* Sign and share our petition. https://chng.it/CVR6hdjdfg
* Post your favorite photos and memories at Honey Dip over the years. (We'd love to see them!) 

Together, we can fight to preserve our legacy and support the small businesses on Kenny Road that have been part of this community for generations. 

With gratitude,

Honey Dip & The Kenny Road Tenants

The Chef-o-Nette

We took a step back in time today. The little restaurant near our former home on Abington Rd. has reopened (closed for over a year with new owners). It opened in 1955, was refurbished in the 70s, and that's about the decor today. We went there for lunch after church. Some of the old favorites are on the menu, except the sandwiches which used to be $1.50 are now $11.95, and they don't have their fabulous tapioca. I had the "Hangover," which is/was their signature sandwich. Hamburger with slice of ham, and cheese, lettuce, tomato and onion. Bob had a big waffle.  Breakfast is all day, but they close at 2:30 p.m. We moved here in June 1967 to an apartment on Farleigh Rd. and after the movers left, we cut through an alley and found a shopping center with a little luncheonette. We had our first meal there. Phil and I had our last meal together there the last week of September 2019 for my birthday and he was diagnosed on October 1, 2019, with terminal cancer.

Spring rains in April 2024

We've certainly had our spring rains. We have a small, sleepy creek north (our view), south and east of our condo grounds . Although I've seen it higher, not often. What's usually quiet is called "Turkey Run" and it meanders through the OSU Golf course and empties into the Olentangy River. The view from our deck. First view.

Second View link.  This is the topographic map and we're sitting on that little red line between Kenny and Olentangy. We get a lot of deer here and the birds love it. Long time residents of UA may remember the bad flood we had around 1973. Then we were 2 houses from "Evans Ditch" on Abington Rd. which was really for drainage, but people called it a creek. Everyone but us had flooded basements--we were slab on grade. Our neighbor had a large wine collection in his basement.  All the labels came off and floated away. I think all the creek beds and walls in UA were upgraded then. It ran to the Scioto Golf Course on Rt. 33. Phil and his little friends loved playing in it and scaring me to death. 

  

Turkey Run Topo Map in Franklin County, Ohio (anyplaceamerica.com)

Fitness routine with the guys

I was minding my own business at the Lifetime Fitness Center watching HGTV on the big screen, but I couldn't help overhearing the 3 guys next to me. Men just rag on each other. It's a hoot. They call each other ugly, bald and fat, and then they all laugh. Don't try that with women. But after the introductions it's down to business. A friend who wasn't there on the treadmill was at the hospital with his wife who was having surgery; another guy was waiting for a kidney transplant; two guys were discussing the various taxes they were struggling with; another reminisced about the old days when our suburb had its own trash department and little scooters would go to the garage to pick up the trash cans (I'd forgotten that, but it was true).

And meanwhile, I missed which house was chosen by the home buyers.

House Hunters is getting a new twist. A New 'House Hunters' Spin-Off Is Coming to HGTV with a Major Twist (msn.com)

Are apartments more expensive than 1967?

I've been watching the real estate values. Right now mortgage rates are really high, although nothing like the 80s. Then I saw a chart that showed renting is cheaper than buying right now. Although I'm math challenged, I did a bit of real estate snooping.

If you want to live in Lancaster, OH or Marion, OH you can find a fixer upper under $50,000, although one had no walls or plumbing fixtures. Nice property near Springfield, OH on 8 acres with several barns, quiet road, and a 4 bedroom house that didn't look too bad for $400,000.

Then I did an inflation calculation and looked at townhomes in our first Upper Arlington neighborhood. In 1967 I think we paid $150 a month for 2 bdrms, 1 bath, living room, dining room, kitchen, basement unfinished, and 1 car garage. Using inflation calculator that's $1,366 in 2023. I poked around the rental listings for this month and found one almost the same (nice) neighborhood near shopping and schools and park for $1,395. But it had a finished room in the basement, a dishwasher, and breakfast bar and the kitchen was updated with granite tops (appeared to be older cabinets). No garage. So essentially, the same, trading a room in the basement for garage for the 1967 model.

 
Of course, in 1967 I had the advantage of living on the same street as Arlene, but we didn't find that out until about 6 years ago (Lakeside neighbor).

Enjoy the holiday.

 I took a wrong turn today and drove through a neighborhood I probably hadn't seen in 20 years. The small houses I remembered had either been remodeled grandly, or torn down and replaced and all the empty lots now had mini-mansions. Then I saw something that really warmed my heart; two young girls were roller skating on the sidewalk, laughing and having the best time. The younger one was looking up to the older. The neighborhood had changed, but kids hadn't.

This is how we did it in the 1940s-50s.  The base could be lengthened so you could pass them on to the next kid.  It would hurt when the shoe clip would slip and you'd go flying into the grass.

How the media are handling the Loudoun County, Virginia story

Admittedly, I haven't done a thorough deep dive in the archives on whether CNN, MSNBC, NYT, and WaPo have covered the rape and sodomizing of a female student by a boy in a skirt at a Loudoun Co., Virginia school bathroom. That boy was transferred to another school where it's been reported (also by non MSM sources) he did it again to another girl. It has been covered by Fox and Newsmax who apparently thought that the previous spin on this story which was everywhere on the MSM was newsworthy. If you watch CNN, have you seen the coverage of the father who was arrested for speaking out at a school board meeting? That video went viral. Have you seen the current information now available on why he spoke at the meeting? (The school was covering up the rape because of the transgenda bathroom policy.)

In 2005 a Columbus school principal was fired and 3 assistants put on leave for covering up the rape of a disabled girl in her school and not calling the police, but handling it in house. In the Virginia case, the police have the record of the assault, but the school denied it happened. In 15 years the intersectionality pendulum has really swung back at the expense of the children.

Fox has a much bigger audience than CNN and MSNBC, so let's hope someone in the Northeast or the DC bubble has seen it, as well as our school board in Upper Arlington which is making a big mess of the bathroom issue. We've had a huge "Keeping up with the other Suburbs" building expansion here with our taxes soaring.

Also, there is an election going on in VA and this is one of the issues. It seems the Democrat has said parents should stop telling teachers how to do their jobs. VA is part of DC. Glenn Youngkin (R) and Terry McAuliffe (D). I just looked at MSN News and the reporter is spewing the usual--white parents, right wing media yada yada--but says nothing about the rape in a bathroom charges by the father and why he was protesting at that meeting in June. You can lie without saying anything!

Worshiping at St. Agatha, May 2

This morning I "attended" via YouTube the May 2 service at St. Agatha, in our former neighborhood, but I've never been inside. I saw something really strange to a Lutheran--holy water being sprinkled on the congregation instead of in a font for fingers. Perhaps it's the pandemic, or maybe they always do it that way. The priest and the deacon walked up and down the aisles and sprinkled everyone (aspergillium), making a special stop for the young children, who seemed to love it. Water is everywhere in the Bible, and has many special meanings. I looked it up, and discovered this is a sacramental, not a sacrament. I had guessed it was a reminder of baptism, but apparently it's much more.

Repentance of sin. The ritual washing background of holy water comes into play here, says, Father William, who quotes Psalm 50, which reads in part, “Have mercy on me, O God, in your goodness; in the greatness of your compassion wipe out my offense. Thoroughly wash me from my guilt and of my sin cleanse me.” St. John the Baptist underscored this sentiment in calling people of his time to conversion. This is occasionally recalled during the course of the Mass, he adds, when the priest sprinkles the congregation with holy water.
 
Protection from evil. Catholic tradition has long held that holy water is a substantial force for keeping evil at bay. A proponent who wrote specifically about this in 1562 is Saint Teresa of Avila: “From long experience I have learned that there is nothing like holy water to put devils to flight and prevent them from coming back again. They also flee from the Cross, but return; so holy water must have great virtue.”

Baptism. “In making the Sign of the Cross with the holy water, we are mindful that we are called to renew those baptismal promises of rejecting Satan, all his works, and all his empty promises, and to profess our creedal faith,” writes Father William. “Once again, we repent of sin, so that we can offer our prayers and worship to God with pure and contrite hearts.”

https://occatholic.com/its-the-water/?

 

Use this form to apply for a ballot to vote by mail

Our household has received a hand delivered brochure with 2 absentee ballot applications. I could say it's rigged against a certain class of people. The elderly. And not for naught. We old folks, especially remembering the creaming we got for that school bond issue which was so outrageous many didn't bother to vote, might just vote down a recreation center as fancy as our neighbors in Dublin, Westerville and Worthington. This keeping up with the Jones on a pension budget is tough. I suspect the supporters do all they can to discourage the elderly from voting and not campaigning.

Back to voting. These applications certainly ask for a lot of information. Probably much more than Georgians need to know. This one has 8 parts, but #8 is not required. There is a bold warning that WHOEVER COMMITS ELECTION FALSIFICATION IS GUILTY OF A FELONY OF THE FIFTH DEGREE.

The first thing I noticed is that the print is so tiny (and I have a minimal prescription for bifocals and have had cataract surgery) I may need to look for a magnifying glass.

Second, there are at least 7-8 items one can use for voter ID and I can think of many elderly voters who might have a problem (not a current driver, don't know where their SS card is, have bills taken care of by someone else or the bank, or get confused about that exception that is listed which won't be accepted.

Third, the form to apply for a ballot to vote by mail asks the date of the election (do not write today's date), and that information is on the brochure, not on the application, which has been separated and possibly thrown away.

Fourth, the application to apply for a ballot asks if this is for a general election, a special election , a primary election, the name of the voter's political party, or an issues only ballot. Then outside that space to the left are instructions in teeny print that the voter must complete a separate application for each election.

Part 7 of the form to apply for a ballot to vote by mail needs a signed affirmation that the voter wants the form mailed to the address shown in part 4, not part 3. Pt. 7 contains another warning about legal penalty if the statements are not true.

The request (this form) must be received by the board of elections no later than noon on the Saturday before Election Day if by mail or by 2 pm the day before the election if in person. Who gets mail before noon around here? Ours sometimes arrives at 7 p.m. If I mess that up or forget I applied (not voted) and go to the polling place to vote in person, then I will have to vote a provisional ballot which cannot be counted until at least 11 days after Election Day.

I can recall "in the old days" we could request absentee if we were going to be out of town, or were ill or disabled, by calling, It wasn't a mass mailing (or distribution) and it was very simple.

Now where is that magnifying glass? I think I'll drive to the polls on that date I need to look up. It's easier.

More files for the trash

I'm throwing out files from 40-50 years ago. I was a Democrat then. I wrote to anyone who would listen/respond from Robert Lazarus to the chaplain at the Ohio Penitentiary, from the Principal of my kids' school to the public library director, from the Columbus Dispatch editor to our church's education director--about prison conditions, bank practices that hurt the poor, story hours that included racist or weak female story lines, the number of black clerks that Lazarus hired for Upper Arlington Kingsdale, fair housing practices and the morally squishy material from ELCA. I remember attending meetings to discuss the need for a local food warehouse that was going the "end" hunger, and a planning group for a community center for Upper Arlington. I was carrying posters at the state house about the ERA. I was beyond woke, but I was asking specific people and companies to change their policies. I wasn't asking the government to do it. I guess I should have organized some protests and thrown bricks through windows instead of writing letters. 

What if Joe Biden had worked as hard on these issues as I did? Maybe he might have made a difference in his 40-something years in "service."

UA CARES

Our program at the UALC Thursday Bible study lunch [delicious, btw] was UA CARES, which stands for Community Assistance, Referrals and Education Services. A representative from the Fire Division of Upper Arlington explained many services they offer to make our homes safer ranging from home assessments, coordination with care providers and medical services, to grab bars to a handy little feature I'd never heard of called KNOX.

"Knox Box is a mini, lockable steel vault that provides firefighters and paramedics access to keys for entry to a residence or business in an emergency. Only the UA Fire Division can access boxes in Upper Arlington. The vault is installed by the resident or business owner on the structure’s exterior near the entry. In an emergency, the dispatcher tells first responders if a Knox-Box is onsite for easy building access, without forcing a door or damaging the building.’

Many communities have similar services.  The speaker said 80% of what the Fire Division does is NOT fighting fires.

Update on the local house explosion

On Saturday a house about a mile from us exploded, damaging 7 others and dropping debris for miles even in adjoining suburbs.  It continues to be on the news—it’s pretty unusual, not only from the damage but because no one was hurt. It was a lovely day, and there didn’t appear to be anyone outside in the area.  The owners are visiting relatives in Japan, and even their dog had been boarded out.  But everything in the house and garage, including their car, is all over the neighborhood.  People are finding scraps of personal effects for miles, like pages from a Japanese cookbook. One interview last night reported that neighbors had been complaining for over  year to the gas company about the “rotten egg” smell, but were always told nothing was found.  And I think it is still there—makes it a bit scary.

http://www.nbc4i.com/story/28593258/6-homes-deemed-not-safe-after-upper-arlington-house-explosion

http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2015/03/21/House_explosion.html

Gas explosion a few blocks from our home—50 firefighters respond

“UPPER ARLINGTON, Ohio - At least seven homes were destroyed or damaged Saturday when a house exploded in Upper Arlington. The explosion was reported around 2:45 p.m. at a home on Sunningdale Way in Upper Arlington.

According to firefighters, a Columbia Gas employee was investigating an earlier report of a gas smell at the home at the time of the explosion.
A mail carrier told NBC4's Dan Pearlman that he reported smelling natural gas in the area around 11:30 a.m.

Tremont Road is closed near the OSU Golf course. NBC4 crews reported seeing debris from the explosion as far away as West North Broadway.” NBC TV local

We heard the boom, but had no idea what had happened until it was reported on the news. It could be felt as far south as Grandview and all the way into Clintonville.

Columbus Dispatch photo

Where are the yard signs against issue 51?

A friend’s daughter is trying to do a photo essay on our local school levy, but can’t find a yard sign to photograph.  I don't support issue 51 , but I see no yard signs either. The Vote for Issue 51 signs are standing next to both Romney and Obama signs.

In a suburb next door to OSU, not voting for a school or library issue is tough going. Issue 51 is a 5.8-mill operating levy for Upper Arlington City Schools on the Nov. 6 ballot. If approved by voters, the levy would cost homeowners an additional $178 in annual taxes per $100,000 in property value and generate about $9.2 million per year for the school district. We have an exceptionally good school system, but 86% of the money goes for wages and benefits.  Ohio is not a Right to Work state, so these teachers are protected by both the union and the STRS.  Their retirement package will be 3-4 times what someone on Social Security will get, with far fewer years of service. 

UA schools are especially fine for those going to college (others are the children left behind--my friends suggest moving to Worthington if you have special needs children), but it's pricey and gets the same results as other districts that spend far less. UA cost per student is $15,172; at Olentangy district schools it is $9,465. Hard to find a website or an article, but here's one:

http://www.thisweeknews.com/content/stories/upperarlington/news/2012/10/03/anti-levy-campaign-educate-ua-seeking-lasting-district-reforms.html

Campaign 2012 snippets

Alan Dershowitz predicted on 9/11 that President Obama’s apparent snub of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu will put the critical swing state of Florida [large Jewish vote] at “substantial risk” in the November election.

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What voter fraud? Wendy W. Rosen, the Democrats' hand-picked candidate in Maryland’s 1st Congressional District, was forced to drop out of her race on September 10 after she admitted to illegally voting in both Maryland and Florida in 2006 and 2008. Tampa Bay Times

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"For those of us who were counting, in his coronation speech, Obama, the consummate narcissist, said "I" (not in reference but in credit to himself) 55 times and "we" (that's the socialist collective "we" not as in "We, the people...") 75 times. Moreover, in the 40-page Demo platform, Obama is cited on 38 pages more than 200 times. By way of comparison, the 2012 GOP platform makes reference to Mitt Romney once." Mark Alexander, Patriot Post.

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More middle east cities in flames, our "free press" journalists caught off mic spinning the news to make Romney look bad, Hillary and some obscure Florida preacher being blamed, and Obama is off campaigning. Did I get that right? Oh, and apparently our ambassador was raped/sodomized by his captors before he was killed. Shouldn't the president stick a little closer to the White House and just float on his own stupendous record rather than campaign? None of his followers will leave him.  This is making him look really, really bad. Unprepared. Unrepentant. Unpresidential.

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The other night, before the middle east went up in flames on phony film charges, Glenn Beck had 3 people on his internet TV show talking about security of the American people. I think it was a 9/11 special. He asked, "What is the greatest threat to our security today?" One said, warrantless wire taps, one said the Patriot Act, and the third said, infiltration of our government by the Muslim Brotherhood. Given recent events, I'd choose door #3. I think his name was Patrick Poole, but I'm not sure.

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Last night we attended the Upper Arlington GOP gathering at the Greek St. restaurant in Kingsdale--learned 2 things--local candidates are awesome and this is a great place to eat. Mostly women candidates--one an immigrant, one had enlisted in the military when she was 17 later became a lawyer and is running for judge. Another, Stephanie Kunze, is the daughter-in-law of our good friends Wes and Sue. Even if you're sick of the national scene and aren't happy with your party's choice, look around for where you can help a local candidate.

It's amazing what a little rain can do

It's very dry and crispy in northern Ohio, so it is a treat to see all the green around Columbus. Our complex has well water sprinkler system, but the whole metropolitan area has had more rain than the Toledo area. Still we expect some heat build up, so after church I put on some walking shoes, a sleeveless denim dress, and walked for about 15 minutes. It's not as much as I get at the lake where I walk everywhere, but it sooths the conscience.

Some of our neighbors still haven't discovered that now that we have sidewalks, they are expected to take care of the area they can't see from their yard (huge bushes to hide the street). Weeds, grass clippings, and branches from the bushes are making the walk a bit hazardous. 1195 Kingsdale Terrace has a lovely house and yard, but I wish they'd step around the corner and see what we see. 'Taint purty.

Had to go to Caribou this morning since Panera's opens late. I noticed that there's a bulletin board for customers to post their "goals." Some are really funny, but pathetic too, because they are so unrealistic and vague ("change the world"), there's no way to get there from here. I've written before about the best book I ever read on the topic of planning is "Stop setting goals." Worth another look:

The book I'd been waiting for my whole life I didn't read until the first official day of my retirement (Oct. 1, 2000). Its title grabbed me and I knew it was written for me: "STOP SETTING GOALS" by Bob Biehl (Nashville: Moorings, 1995).

The premise is that some people are energized by achieving goals they have set, and others (a higher percentage) are energized by identifying and solving problems. And it isn't semantics. To ask problem solvers to set goals puts knots in their stomachs and interferes with their natural gifts. To ask goal setters to work on a problem puts them in a foul mood because they think "negative" when they hear "problem."

Problem solvers see goal setters as sort of pie-in-the sky, never-finish-anything types, and goal setters see problem solvers as negative nay-sayers. Bigotry, in both directions.

I'm willing to bet that most librarians are problem solvers and that's why they chose the field. I used to be in Slavic Studies. In my own mind, I thought the Soviet Union collapsed from pathologically terminal five year plans--too much goal setting and not enough problem solving.

Biehl poses an interesting question that works for both groups. "What three things can we do in the next 90 days to make a 50% difference (by the end of this year, by the end of the decade, by the end of my life). It makes no difference if you say, "what three goals can we reach" or "what three problems can we solve," because either personality can get a handle on this question.

I was challenged during my last year at work to stop using the word "problem" and replace it with "challenge" or "opportunity." It was a good time to retire. It took away all motivation for showing up at work for a darn good problem solver.

Litter--whose problem?

This morning I was reading an Indianapolis Star blog and the writer said she'd been through 5 midwestern states, and Indiana got the prize for litter. That doesn't make me feel better about Columbus, nor its suburb, Upper Arlington. We recently returned from California, staying in Tustin, but visiting many towns in Orange County and along the coast and in the "valley." Maybe we joke about Californians being tree huggers, but I think they do take more pride in not just environment with a capital E, but in the immediate environment of their neighborhoods, business districts and freeways. Our side walk was installed in 2009 and I think the residents of the two houses at Millcreek and Kenny have not peeked over their hedges and bushes to the easement, because it's a mess. And it's not just winter trash. It's also dead leaves and weeds from 2009.

And Mayor Coleman of Columbus should be ashamed of the interchanges of major arteries in and out of Columbus' neighborhoods (I see mainly 315). How does he expect to attract new business or confidence in a well-run and safe city if it looks like a trash truck overturned every 2 or 3 blocks? The areas with safety fences and barricades are the worst--by the times the bushes bloom, the plastic bags, bottles and newspapers are almost impossible to reach. Someone needs to tackle them in March.

Yes, we walkers, joggers and strollers can take a trash bag with us, and drivers can stop throwing things out of car windows, but some of this just accumulates from blowing off construction sites and from trucks, or is debris left from storms and snow plows. It will take some commitment from our city administrations to keep things looking tidy and prosperous. Even if you are poor, you don't have to look it. Let's send a few over paid administrators out to the road side with a stick and bag to pick up the trash.

This is a volunteer in the Cleveland area in 2009. I wonder if he outsources?

Is the city supposed to clear its sidewalks? Or just the residents?

I think I've seen a requirement for residents in our city (Upper Arlington, Ohio, a suburb of Columbus) to clear their side walks after a snow storm. We haven't had the snow that the northeast or west of Chicago have had, but we get 2-3 inches from time to time. Today I noticed that when driving west on McCoy Road, all the sidewalks on the south (residential) were clear, and all the sidewalks on the north (Thompson Park) were icy and snow covered and dangerous, because that's where people go to walk.

Terrible tragedy in Upper Arlington

Last night a father in our community killed his two little boys and then himself. His wife found the bodies. There are no words . . .

Story

And sound and look of affluence

On my morning walk today I could hear the sound of traffic roaring both north and south from Rt. 315--several miles away. I could also hear the happy sounds of the Upper Arlington High School band practicing miles away. I saw construction/remodeling signs of contractors in the yards of the upscale neighborhood built in the mid-1970s. Then I picked up a flyer from a real estate sign for 3815 Criswell Drive.

Half a million won't get you much in Huntington Beach, California, or Coolidge Corners, a suburb of Boston, Massachusetts, but it buys a heck of a lot of house in a very convenient neighborhood of Upper Arlington, a community of outstanding schools and community services, minutes to Dublin or downtown Columbus or OSU, Battelle or Chem Abstracts and a stone's throw from one of the country's best golf courses.

1. Almost 3,000 sq ft
2. 112 x 150 lot
3. finished media room
4. bump out on garage for hobbies or third car
5. beautiful yard with patio and irrigation system
6. island kitchen with pantry wall and mud room
7. dining room with wet bar and built-ins
8. marble floors in foyer and kitchen
9. 2nd floor laundry
10. deluxe master bath with jetted tub and shower

So the taxes are over $10,500, but we don't have personal property taxes like some of you do; we don't have mountains and beaches near by, but there is an airport; and of course, we have football out the wazoo.

Today I got an e-mail from Bob, a high school friend warning me Starbucks prices were going up, up and away. (About 6 guys from my high school (1950s) have e-mail lists--and they say women talk. . .) I wrote back and told Bob I judge affluence by . . . kitchen counter tops. Recently our neighborhood had a home tour. You would think laminate counters are a sign of 3rd world poverty. Granite, marble, polished concrete, and the new cabinets to support them, the track lighting to shine on them, and the gorgeous art to hang above them are a sign that Americans are still doing quite well, thank you. Also, I'm a fan of HGTV, and hooked on the home buying "reality" shows (completely unreal). You would think people have seen a rat if the buyers see laminate.

Personally, I think marble is way overrated. It's hard to clean--in fact my kitchen counter never feels clean to me and it's too dark to tell. The instructions for its care read like a school exam, so now I just clean it with anything handy--usually Windex, which I've learned is just about the handiest tool around.

The point of all this is to tell all those economic experts and journalists who for the last 30 years have been telling me how awful it is to be poor in the United States and how we're all going to hell in a hand basket, that many Americans are doing just fine. And they are very, very tired of hearing our scolding, obsequious president diminish what a market economy can provide for most of us, and give hope for the rest. We started our marriage in the bottom quintile 50 years ago and never even noticed we were poor because we had so much for which to be grateful.