Thursday, March 16, 2006

2281 My ridiculous invention

Glenn Beck was doing an over the top routine on the new Idol show about inventions. Like the watch alarm that goes off when the hand gets near the mouth, or the butt crack designer jeans that actually has creative cut outs placed strategically and then is marketed to 15 year olds, not plumbers. So he's having a contest for the most ridiculous invention.

I won't submit this because I think someone ought to get a Small Business Administration loan and go for it. Invent a nice smelling hand cream, one for sugar junkies and one for salt freaks that emits an odor like raccoon feces when the hand dips inside the package or touches the plate of the offending food. The fat, or salt or sugar triggers a chemical in the cream, and you'd have to head for the nearest rest room and scrub down. After a few tries, my hand, like Pavlov's dog would be avoiding that bag of Fritos. But not right now.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

2280 Help us plan our trip

I get a brain freeze when it comes to trip planning. I'm pretty good at the "Why don't we. . . " part, and paralyzed when it comes to final decisions. This summer we're planning to go to Helsinki, Finland to see Finn friends whom we met in the late 1970s. She's a veterinarian and he's an architect. And while we're there and so close we plan to go to St. Petersburg, either by train or by bus. We are working with a woman who helped us in 2003. Today she was riding in a car with another woman and mentioned what she was doing. The other woman said not only had she taken that exact same trip, but she had visited the couple we are planning to see (and indirectly she knows me too through my former job at the vet college).

So my husband called her, and of course, got a million suggestions because I think they stayed in Helsinki 9 months, not 2 weeks.

If you've been to Finland, or to St. Petersburg, I'm open to suggestions, especially any small tour company you might have used, little restaurant you loved, vistas you enjoyed, etc.

I've already told them I won't go naked in the sauna at their summer cottage.

Virtual tour of St. Petersburg

2279 Harvey's unhappy

He decided on his 40th birthday to come out to his doctor, a major emotional breakthrough for him*. He was disappointed that "he did not discuss my sexual history or recommend that I be tested for HIV, nor did we discuss the need for hepatitis A or B immunizations." And when he was at the registration desk of a hospital he was listed as "single," when he told them he had a partner. Harvey, I feel your pain. No one has ever suggested I be tested for HIV, and I've even had to inquire about a tetanus shot when I got a new kitten and "should I be worried about this spot on my arm."

In our diversity-hysteria society it must be very tough for doctors, pharmacists, lawyers, police, and school teachers to say nothing of bakers and candlestick makers to know what they are legally allowed to ask or advise. How many ways are there to spell l-i-t-i-g-a-t-i-o-n? It's just a suggestion of course, but if anyone, gay, straight, bi, tri or trans thinks he/she/they might have gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, lymphogranuloma venereum, hepatitis, HPV, or any of those other "fun diseases," just speak up. Anyone can fill in the "who to notify in an emergency" box. It may not be legal in that jurisdiction to even ask you what you've been doing with your free time and with whom. Harvey, by the way, IS a doctor.

[*NEJM, March 2, 2006]

2278 Recruiting hospitalists

The term "hospitalist" first appeared about 10 years ago in the New England Journal of Medicine. The term seems to be a bit squishy and nebulous and my spell checks flag it, but I think it means "there's a doctor in the house," the same one most of the time looking after other doctors' patients. Originally, doctors "in transition" took these jobs while waiting for something better to turn up. Now it is considered a specialty. Today I was perusing the ads for hospitalists in JAMA and noticed it's either a growing field, or no one wants those jobs, because there were a lot of ads. Also, some ads promote the location more than the job--unless there was nothing to say about it, then said nothing.

1. Hartford, CT: Upscale living choices, easy access to NYC and Boston, first rate schools, pleasures of coastal environment. . .
2. Brunswick, ME: 1/2 hour north of Portland, minutes from the ocean, good schools, serene life style, boating. . .
3. New York City: says nothing about the location, assuming I suppose that everyone knows the Big Apple. . .
4. Prince George's County, MD: I think the ad writer hopes all readers will know this is a DC suburban area, but she could be wrong . .
5. Indianapolis Community Hospital: not a word about the city or location. No oceans, no mountains. Just my relatives.
6. Denver: beautiful Rocky Mountains . . .
7. California: beautiful central coast. . . pretty vague, but at least it isn't LA. . .
8. Eugene, OR: major university, PAC-10 football, pristine rivers, forests, lakes, snow covered peaks in the Cascades. . .

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

2278 Why would you do this?

If I ever write a Thursday 13 about foods I can't cook, rice-anything would be at the top of my list. Third world women using an open fire in a pit can cook rice, but not me. If rice is going to be on our menu, we've either gone to a restaurant, or it is the boil-in-a-bag type. But this week I bought a pouch of Knorr/Lipton Rice Sides, Cheddar Broccoli, rice & pasta blend and will fix it for dinner tonight. Even in the picture, you can barely see the broccoli, so I'll have to add some. For some reason I haven't figured out yet, I buy more prepared food now than I did when I was working. Trying new recipes was not on my list of things to do during retirement.

However, I noticed in reading the instructions that to microwave this dish takes 12 minutes; stove top takes 7 minutes. Definitely not a time saver.

2277 Have they no shame?

This morning I went to the sweeper repair shop to pick up my wonderful Panasonic vacuum cleaner and noticed the police were there and the front door was busted with glass broken. Fortunately, an alarm or someone must have scared the bad guys away, and they weren't successful. "What were they trying to steal?" I asked the owner, thinking maybe they were after cash or something. "Oh, the vacuum sweepers--they go fast on the street." Imagine. Clean and tidy thieves and fences. Do you suppose a thief is dumb enough to give his girl friend a vacuum cleaner as a gift?

I don't remember when I got this sweeper, but I know I ruined one by vacuuming up paint dust when we were sanding the window trim in the dining room of our former home before painting (don't ever do that--ruins the motor because the dust is so fine). So I'm thinking 30 years? And this is the first repair or tune up it's ever had. The owner of the repair shop told me that some of today's models barely last 2-3 years--and he showed me one that had just been brought in.

Mine is a good machine--the new Panasonics like it but with a few more amps (12 instead of 7) cost about $299, and he'll give me a trade in on this one worth $50. But I think I'll just hang on to it for another 30 years. They'll have to pry it out of my hand for the funeral.


Dust mite is smaller than the size of this period.

If your spouse or kids wants to know why you are washing all the bedding in the middle of the week, tell them it's because Norma said they are full of dust mites. Although not as many as reported by the Wall St. Journal.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Monday Memories


Have I ever told you I was horse crazy when I was a little girl?
During 1949 and 1950, when I wasn’t hanging out at the livestock barn owned by father and son, Charlie and Raymond, in our little town, Forreston, IL, I was heading out to a farm of a girl friend to ride her horses. At Charlie’s barn I had to be sort of sober and grown up because there were only adults there and it was a place of business. I could watch them muck the stalls, shoe the horses, and listen as they explained the parts of a saddle and tack. I was allowed to sit on the horses and wash or curry them; and I could ask questions which seemed to cause the men a lot of mirth and red faces, such as, “How do you tell a steer from a bull?”

None of my friends were as interested in horses as I was, so after school I’d go to the barn by myself, within walking distance of our home but outside the town limits. I knew how to open the latches to the doors, so I’d let myself in. When my eyes adjusted to the dim light, I'd climb up on the stall dividers, scoot over and slide onto the horses. If I did take a friend with me, I would show off by walking under the horse. I shudder now to think of the danger I was in. There wasn’t an adult within a half mile. Usually, Charlie and Raymond bought nice, well-trained horses, but they were in the resale business and never kept an animal very long, so who knows what behavior problems they could have had? I probably weighed less than 100 lbs., and the average horse can be over a 1,000 lbs., and really, they aren't very bright.

Charlie and Raymond would take me with them in their stock truck on their buying trips--I remember going with them up to Wisconsin and over to Iowa. Again, I can’t imagine I would have allowed my children to do this, but it was a different time, and my parents knew them, or at least Dad did. I was a reasonably well behaved child, but I do remember wandering around stock barns and county fairs by myself as the men attended to their buying. I can remember being too embarrassed to ask about a rest room or for something to eat. So I wasn't as brave as it might sound. Then the cattle or horses would be loaded into the truck and we’d start for home.

Charlie and me and a gray pony

I don’t remember how I met Marlene and Carol and their large family. At least one was my age, so possibly we met at summer Bible School. They didn’t go to elementary school in our town, but attended a one room rural school. However, for Bible School, the country kids came to town, which was always exciting because it meant some new faces--important in a town of 1,000 or less. Their mother was a jolly farm woman who made beef tongue sandwiches for our lunch (which made me gag and decline her hospitality) and all the children in the family could play the accordion.

For my first visit to their farm, which was on Route 72 between Forreston and Leaf River, my mother probably dropped me off, but after that, I was on my own. So I rode my standard bicycle along a busy highway, with a gravel and dirt berm before the days of helmets and safety concerns. It was years later working in an agriculture library that I learned about the high injury and death rate among farm children because of dangerous machinery, but their townie friends, like 10 year old Norma riding her bike out to see them, were probably at risk too. (We'd also take rides on the tractor driven by a 14 year old, but that's another story.)

This family had two riding horses, one a handsome, fast sorrel mare, and the other a blind, overweight “Indian” pony, named Pinky. Pinky’s eyes were blank and glassy, but one was blue. He was white and his pink skin showed through, which is probably how he got his name. If he wasn’t an albino (who often are blind), he was close to it. The sorrel I would gallop around a pasture where she would attempt to rub me off against the fence while spinning so she could make a break for the barn.

Pinky was a step down in prestige, but was easier to catch. If you’ve never ridden an overweight equine, let me explain. When he galloped, or attempted to, his breath expelled with very loud heaving noises, especially when the three children on his back came down out of the air to make contact in sequence. Because Pinky was so fat, the saddle girth wouldn’t fit, so we rode him bareback. Away we'd go, along busy Route 72, always with two or three children atop, with cars whizzing by, many honking their horns to see if they could startle the horse. As Pinky would hesitate and balk, confused by the noise, the gravel, and holes in the dirt, we kids would slip-slide back and forth on his sweaty back, our thigh muscles burning, hanging on to his mane, the reins, and each other for dear life.

Mother would have had nightmares had she known. It’s a mystery to me that I don’t.


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2275 My best student

Last summer I taught blogging at the coffee shop in Lakeside. It was not an overwhelming success. Having something to say, knowing how to type, even a little, and being able to put some sentences together in an interesting way are important for would-be bloggers. So far, Eric is my star pupil, and has five entries on his blog, and is experimenting with photographs. He and his wife Sharon have just celebrated their 32nd wedding anniversary in Puerto Rico. They were back by the week-end, and Sharon did a lovely performance in a trio for church.

2274 Catholic parents: what are you paying for?

Sometimes Glenn Beck is really the "sick twisted freak" he calls himself. However, if most of your news stories come from the cable or network news, listening to his homegrown hysteria is sometimes enlightening. Like the time he interviewed Columbus' mayor live about the assault on a disabled student, but that's not this story. This morning he told about attending his daughter's performance in her Catholic high school play. Nunsense. With 13-17 year olds.

Beck is a former Catholic (now a Mormon), but his daughters from his first marriage attend a private Catholic high school. He started the program by reporting that his eldest told him, after the fact, that her theology teacher at this school had denied all Jesus' miracles and the resurrection, that they were just nice stories to make a point. Then he moved on to describe the stage production (which even when he mentioned the title I knew was way too wrong for teeny-boppers) where the sexual innuendo, ribald jokes, and ridicule of Roman Catholic doctrine were horribly out of place being performed by children in a Catholic school. He told of them swinging their crucifix on their belts, and pretending to perform sex acts to ridicule the Virgin Birth. He said if such an outrage were performed in a public school, Catholics would storm the administration and school board, but since it was a Catholic school, no one seemed to object. Except him. A Mormon. He is outraged that he is paying for a Catholic education that is ridiculing Catholic doctrine and faith.



2273 Show the bump maternity fashion is just ugly

There. I've said it and I'm not sorry. Clingy, tight maternity fashions showing plumbers' crack and cleavage just make pregnant women look uncomfortable and unglam, with a bursting sausage look, the opposite of what I think they believe they are doing. (Not that fashion in general makes any sense.) Low rise jeans with tube tops--please save that outfit for housecleaning. Don't go out in public and subject the rest of us to it. Pregnant women are beautiful. They are our future. Today's maternity clothes (and I actually can't tell if they just moved up a size or two or bought a specially designed outfit) make the women look like they grabbed something out of the box meant for Good Will and are in denial about what's going on.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

The 2006 Auto Show

This afternoon we went downtown, parked in a wet garage (there had been flood watches earlier), and walked to our ugly, ugly convention center designed by Peter Eisenman. We stayed about an hour, and although they let you sit in a $60,000 Lincoln or Mercedez Benz, they rope off the $344,000 Lambourgini. I couldn't believe the gas guzzlers (like 11 mpg) I saw. And people whine about gasoline prices?

I think my favorite is still the Dodge Magnum for comfort, looks and value. But Dodge has a new little guy that was really cute and reasonably priced--the 2007 Caliber.
There seemed to be plenty of room inside, the seats fold down for cargo space, and the gas mileage is good. Auto Week doesn't seem to know what to call it--"Coupled with a Magnum-like face, flared fenders and bold shoulder lines that flow into the taillights, it’s little wonder people mistake the car for an SUV. . . It’s not an SUV, and we wouldn’t call it a mini crossover either. This new Dodge may be boldly styled and ride a tad higher, but at its core the Caliber is still a sedan, just a new interpretation of what a compact sedan can be."

With the low end model right around $14,000 and good gas mileage, I think people will like this one. I did.

Getting ready for the summer shows

Last summer my husband had a one artist show all summer long at the Patio Restaurant in Lakeside. I'm not sure if he's made arrangements for summer 2006, but he'll certainly have the paintings ready to go. I think he's done 14 in the past month. That would be an entire year's output for me. I've done 3 in 2006, and the one of the hockey players never came together so we're down to two. Too much blogging, I guess. Here are some of his recent works, with the cat stepping into the picture at the last minute. See those windows. That's north light. Wonderful for a studio, but I have yet to put brush to paper on that nice spot we set up for me in December.

Lighthouse cottage at Marblehead, OH

Lotsa artsa

Saturday, March 11, 2006

2270 Columbus has a new magazine

It's for the young professionals and adults on the verge of greatness. I blogged about it today at In the Beginning, my blog about premiere issues.

Shame, shame on those "31 Ohio pastors"

That's all you'll need to type into Google to get the story noted in yesterday's Wall Street Journal. Just "31 Ohio pastors." They don't care a whit about politics from the pulpit when they are preaching their viewpoint. I've been a member of a liberal church, and you better believe you hear politics. I didn't hear a squawk from them when Kerry and Edwards were making the rounds of the black churches and speaking from their pulpits.

This is pure pew envy. The largest churches in Columbus, like Upper Arlington Lutheran, First Community, Vineyard and Grace Brethren didn't sign on. These liberal pastors probably can't even raise a quorum in their own congregation, let alone attract new members. All their congregations added together could probably fit into our sanctuary. You'll determine their politics almost immediately by the tone of the news coverage. Usually, the media ignores churches, unless they can spot a juicy fight on the horizon.

Not that the non-signers have been pillers in the public square. Two years ago the pastor of First Community (and they don't get much more liberal) said, "If we work to take away the tax exempt status of All Saints Church in Pasadena and World Harvest Church in Columbus, that means we must do the same with First Community Church." [First News, Feb. 19-Mar. 4, 2006] OK, so that's sort of self-serving. Rich Nathan, pastor of Vineyard published a wimp-out article in the Dispatch saying in effect Can't we all just get along and stick to the Bible from our pulpits so we don't turn unbelievers off. I wonder if he means preach non-political things like sanctity of marriage, evils of abortion, evolution, parental choice, etc. UALC pastors haven't commented to my knowledge. The last time we did anything even remotely political was to sing "God Bless America" the evening of 9/11 at a church service filled with terrified people.

Cleveland Channel 5: "Another group comprised of 31 Ohio pastors believes Restoration Ohio is breaking the law, and has asked the IRS to investigate.

"They crossed the line and they're not acting as a church, in my mind. They're acting more like a political organization to elect a single candidate," said the Rev. Eric Williams.

Everson delivered a strong warning about illegal campaigning.

"Are we going to let this cancer spread to our charities and churches? Now is the time to act before it is too late," said Everson."


PewForum: "Churches and religious organizations agree to abide by the regulations of the Internal Revenue Code when they accept tax-exempt status as 501(c)(3) organizations. The 31 Ohio pastors who recently asked the Internal Revenue Service to investigate possible violations by two pastors and their religious organizations had reason for concern.

The Revs. Rod Parsley and Russell Johnson have been upfront about their political objectives. They have created separate affiliates (Reformation Ohio by Parsley and Johnson's Ohio Restoration Project) to build a network of conservative pastors to promote political candidates sympathetic to their conservative religious agenda.

According to the complaint to the IRS, Parsley, the pastor of World Harvest Church, and Johnson of Fairfield Christian Church, have practically adopted J. Kenneth Blackwell, the secretary of state, as their favored candidate for Ohio governor, showcasing him on road trips and events to the exclusion of other candidates for the same office. The complaint accuses the evangelical coalition of launching a voter registration campaign and voter-education materials intended to garner Blackwell maximum support.

It is common enough for candidates to make the rounds of religious establishments, especially in African-American churches, to be introduced to the congregation. It is a different story when churches align themselves so plainly behind specific candidates. The involvement alleged in the complaint goes far beyond a mere visit. It suggests church-activated machinery to promote one candidacy."


Columbus Dispatch: HARTVILLE, Ohio — Republican gubernatorial candidate J. Kenneth Blackwell told conservative religious leaders yesterday not to be deterred from political participation by a federal complaint filed by 31 Columbus-area pastors.

"You tell those 31 bullies that you aren’t about to be whupped," said Blackwell, the secretary of state, who said that "political and social and cultural forces are trying to run God out of the public square."

Trying something new

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2266 Six visitors

We live in the middle of a metropolitan area of about a 1.6 million people, in suburbia, with the newer suburbs spreading out many miles beyond us. But here's what was in our back yard in January. Six deer. Two rivers flow through Columbus, and I think they hang around the flood plains and river beds, working further down into the city. We have two creeks surrounding our complex which eventually flow into the rivers through many trees, so the deer make their way here. Grazing as they go. Sometimes bringing the babies. If they try to eat my flowers, they'll be disappointed, or have stomachs of iron. I plant only artificial blooms.

2265 Trying to keep up

with the choir is a challenge. Sunday we'll be singing "Fairest Lord Jesus," which they've apparently done before, because the music was handed out Wednesday evening, we did a quick run through, and then moved on to preparations for Easter. Many of these people have been singing together over 20-30 years--maybe more. This is actually one I remember from when I sang in junior choir as a child, which I wrote about in my Thursday Thirteen (although a different arrangement). I have a set of 3 CD's called Passionate Worship, 60 best loved hymns. One disc is "Jesus Our Savior" with the painting, The Garden of Promise by Thomas Kinkade, and selection 3 is "Fairest Lord Jesus," so I've been La la-ing in the car with it.

Having my son's Midi is a big help. Here's how it looks in the guest room. The new carpet helps muffle the sound. The cat sits right outside the door while I practice. At least she isn't howling!

2264 The bracelet

is the title I've given this painting.



It started as a black and white photograph of five children and a grandfather sent to me by my friend Sylvia. (My little brother didn't like to play with us, otherwise there would have been six children.) I cropped it to three children, and if I get really brave, I might try the five. Sylvia was wearing roller skates and I couldn't quite figure that part out with the shadows. Shoes and feet and fingers are hard enough--I just didn't feel ready for skates. Sylvia lived on a farm and says she loved to "come to town" where she could use her roller skates and her bike on hard surfaces. Roller skating in the gravel or riding a bike in a pasture was tough! Earlier view.

JoElla and I lived in the big town of Forreston, about 1,000 residents. I couldn't see a cat in the photo, but JoElla's cat was very prolific, and probably the feline ancestor of every kitty in northern Illinois, so I added "Butch" (Bertha Matilda Pussycat Elvira Mouser Mouria) in Richard's arms. I'm calling it "The bracelet" because I was so surprised to see it in the photo. It was probably my only piece of adornment and I was very proud of it. It had been given to me by my Sunday School teacher in the town from which we moved. Then the latest issue of Watercolor has a fabulous painting of two children sitting on a porch step that really almost made me want to throw this one away. It is realism beyond realism--the kind that goes beyond the photograph to show more than a photo tells. Oh well, this works on a greeting card which is how I'll use this. My sister will probably get one next week.

When we grew up, JoElla became my college roommate and later my Maid of Honor in my wedding. The last time I saw her was in 1996 when I visited her in Seattle where she was the President of a company that researches opinions and products. Sylvia, the little girl with the beautiful curls and roller skates who is NOT in the painting, is an RN and church musician, living in my hometown, and we had coffee together in October when I visited my sister and brother.

Friday, March 10, 2006

2263 Good-bye Yellow Brick Road

may be just about the best blog you'll ever read about how we got from vinyl to i-Pod in the lifetime of a 32 year old. As a child he made cassette tapes from his parents' records; he remembers when he discovered CDs and replacing the tape deck in his car; and his first experience with MP3, then iPod and iTunes.

"Like many revolutions, this one happened quietly for years, and then snapped into sharp focus in one instant. For me, it was a party here at the house. Heather and I had friends over and we were all standing around in the living room. A few of the guests started pouring over my CDs - these physical reminders, this luggage I've carted around for years. They were reading off the names, the titles, and I had a sudden revelation: I hadn't bought a CD in years. Many years.

My CDs had become this snapshot of who I was, like carrying around a driver's license with a 5 year-old photo where you're wearing old glasses and a shirt you wouldn't be caught dead in now. And here I was displaying them like a shrine in an immense tower in my living room."

Read the whole amazing, interesting story.

At least it was a eye-opener review of technology for me. The last time we were up-to-date in the recorded music department was when we had a big old 4-door '69 deep green Olds with an 8-track tape deck and two baby seats in the backseat. And I thought we'd arrived!

2262 "Together, America can do better"

Rosa Brooks in the LATimes [registration] writes on March 10 about the Democrats sloganeering:

"You can do better" is what you say to a dim child whose grades were even worse than expected. Is this really the Democrats' message to the nation: that we don't need to be quite as pathetic as we now are, though excellence is certainly beyond our reach?

This slogan speaks not of hope but of hopelessness, of scaled-down ambitions, of dreams deferred and dreams denied."

Brooks has got a point; silly me, I just thought it didn't sound grammatical or accurate. I can see "Together, Americans. . ., but . . . singular? It sounds like they've left out something--Canada? Mexico? Aren't we the United States?

"And as a message, "Let America be America again" [Kerry's discredited campaign slogan] sure beats "Hello, you've reached the Democratic Party. We're not home right now." " [Brooks]

Or, "we're out to lunch," works for me.