My brown thumb

This could make me wish it weren't so. Almost. I could almost walk to this one. Almost. It's cheap, too. Here's another one in Columbus that looks good, although the website never mentions the city (I just happen to know the Historical Society is in Columbus).

All these tips from Jim McCormac

Answer the quiz

and it will pick your candidate. Just yesterday I was thinking (after watching Huckabee on TV) that maybe it was time to switch to Romney, and then I took this quiz. But I didn't think he'd score as low (based on my views) as Rudy!

88% Mitt Romney
76% Fred Thompson
70% John McCain
68% Tom Tancredo
68% Ron Paul
61% Mike Huckabee
61% Rudy Giuliani
31% Bill Richardson
29% Barack Obama
29% Hillary Clinton
28% Chris Dodd
26% John Edwards
25% Dennis Kucinich
25% Mike Gravel
21% Joe Biden

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

Sunday Search the Archives

This one from Feb. 15, 2006 at Church of the Acronym is worth a repeat--we'll be heading to church in a few hours.

334 Must the church always be a follower?
It won't be next year, or maybe not even 2016, but eventually church musicians and pastors will wake up about the noise and volume of their CCM rock, hip-hop and heavy metal music and the damage the blasting loud speakers cause to hearing just as they realized the dangers of smoking and second hand smoke 20 years ago. Too bad they can't be leaders instead of followers in this important health issue.

When we joined UALC in 1976, every meeting room and event was filled with the blue haze of cigarette smoke (with the exception of the sanctuary). I'd grown up in the Church of the Brethren, so smoking was just a plain old generic sin--below adultery and theft maybe, but certainly right up there with swearing and drunkeness. But Lutheran smokers 30 years ago believed in "freedom in Christ," and you were considered a Pharisee if you mentioned it made your clothes stink or burned your eyes. I'm not sure what turned the tide, but gradually smokers went to one room to breathe each others poisoned fumes, and then outside, and now I never see anyone smoking on the property.

What I remember most about this very serious health issue is that the church was not the leader. It was the follower.

How many of our babies and children and teens will need to lose their hearing in the low and high ranges incrementally, to be tested and fitted for hearing aids by age 40? Noise in the church is the latest blue haze that Christians think they can't do without. "Give me Jesus, but don't make me change anything," could be our motto.

I actually shudder when I see young parents taking small children into our X-Alt services because the parents identify with the music and our leadership knows this is a way to fill the seats. People who will floss for dental health, do pilates and kick boxing for exercise, and watch their cholesterol and calories seem oblivious to protecting their ears.

For a mellow evening out

Enjoy the music of Tony Marinucci --blues, pop and jazz--at Ruth's Chris Steak House, one of Columbus' best known restaurants, on Thursday and Friday evenings. You can make reservations on-line.

Have you got some audio production needs? Tony does that too, as well as wedding photography and commercials. Here's a photo of my son's band, Drive, from Tony's site. You can click to listen--the singer is my son (far left) in his living room.



This is not a commercial--I just think Tony did a great job on their audio mixing and mastering.

Which presidential candidate

is going to step up to the mike during a debate and tell China to turn out its lights, drive fewer or hybrid cars, and shutter its factories? The projected US demand for crude is actually going down. China's is going up. It's not the Arabs, it's supply and demand. This from Petroleum News, Jan. 11.

Current world crude output averages less than 72.5 million bpd, down about 2 million bpd from 27 months ago, while world oil demand, about 88 million bpd, continues to grow unchecked.

With global demand projected to grow to 115 million bpd by 2020, Simmons said numerous dangers would accompany a significant depletion of world oil supplies, including social chaos brought on by widespread hoarding as well as geopolitical conflicts that could lead to war.

“Oil shortages worry me,” he said. “China is extremely conscious of how flimsy oil supply is and is doing everything they can to lock up supply.”

Stress on Grandparents

I wrote this about 4 years ago--just came across it today. Maybe I'll have to go online and double check:

. . . it was reported in WSJ that Harvard University researchers found a 55% greater risk of heart disease among grandmothers who care for their grandchildren than those who don’t. 36.3% of U.S. grandparents provide intermediate or extensive care for their grandchildren. One theory about the stress is that there are other events in the lives of their adult children, such as divorce or substance abuse, that causes the parents to have to help out, thus causing a lot of stress. And those of us with no grandchildren have a 47.95% greater risk of a broken heart. (I made that up.)

This site has all sorts of links on grandparenting. The original research was published in Am J Public Health. 2003 November; 93(11): 1939–1944. "Caregiving to Children and Grandchildren and Risk of Coronary Heart Disease in Women," by Sunmin Lee, ScD, and others.

We haven't seen health problems among our friends and relatives who care for their grandchildren, but we do see some social problems. They are definitely less available to go out of an evening--either pooped, or doing something with the grandkids--and when we visit my sister-in-law, conversation is somewhat limited if she is watching two or three great-grandchildren, so their grandmothers (her daughters) can catch a break from babysitting!

This research hit a nerve

I read about the cell phone drivers slowing everyone down during commutes last week in the WSJ, but when I googled the story today, that story seemed to be in every paper. It's the kind of thing everyone suspects is true, and then when someone really does the research, it's an Ah-ha moment. Here's the abstract from the research paper done at the Department of Civil and Environmental Engineering and Department of Psychology at the University of Utah and prepared for the Transportation Research Board:

ABSTRACT
This research examined the effect of naturalistic, hands-free, cell phone conversation on driver’s lane-changing behavior. Thirty-six undergraduate psychology students drove six 9.2-mile scenarios, in a simulated highway environment, with three levels of traffic density. Participants were instructed only to obey the speed limit and to signal when making a lane change. These simple driving instructions allowed participants to freely vary driving behaviors such as following distance, speed, and lane-changing maneuvers. Results indicated that, when drivers conversed on the cell phone, they made fewer lane changes, had a lower overall mean speed, and a significant increase in travel time in the medium and high density driving conditions. Drivers on the cell phone were also much more likely to remain behind a slower moving lead vehicle than drivers in single-task condition. No effect of cell phone conversation on following distance was observed. Possible implications on traffic flow characteristics are discussed. "Drivers’ Lane Changing Behavior While Conversing On a Cell Phone in a Variable Density Simulated Highway Environment" pdf here

Maybe slowing people down isn't all that bad and will reduce problems later. However, I know that accidents are caused by people distracted by their phones, although conversation with passengers doesn't seem to have the same affect. What bothers me is when I see the little faces of the children and babies, strapped in and bored, with mommy chatting away ignoring the opportunity to interact with them. Dumped even before the day-care door.

Where that strange environmental data come from

Thirteen hundred gallons of water to produce a quarter-pounder? That's based on an ag extension report given to a high school class 30 years ago, according to this interesting article in the Wall St. Journal Friday. Pardon the pun but it depends on whose ox you want to gore. Carl Bailik provides a number of alternative figures. He says at his blog:

A respected nonprofit focused on water education repeated the number in pamphlets and other material. A scientist at the U.S. Geological Survey saw the pamphlet and used the stat for a USGS water-facts Web site. And once the estimate became a USGS stat, it was amplified and repeated — on other government sites, on PBS.org, on a bottled-water trade group site, in university newspapers and in other publications. It even showed up in the office elevator of Numbers Guy reader Joe Penrose, who saw the stat on the Captivate Network screen as a “fun fact” and emailed me to suggest I look into it.

But whoever you believe, we can live without oil, but we can't live without water, and using up our water to grow crops to burn in our automobiles to satisfy environmentalists who go crazy at the thought of the internal combustion engine and melting glaciers is just silly.

Where's the winning team?

The United States has been wimping out and backing off since 1945. And we'll do it again, apparently, if we elect a Democrat, because they sure don't want to talk about the Iraq War. Fred Thompson (R) said (paraphrase) that you can tell we're winning because the New York Times has stopped writing about it. And the candidates have stopped talking about it. But if we elect Hillary or Obama or Edwards, what will they do with the recent successes in Iraq? Turn it over to the Iranians? Al-Qaeda? Hussein wanna-be's? Will they allow all the folks who are trying to build a democracy to be plowed under?

Bret Stephens (WSJ 1-8-08) commented that Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid with nothing to overcome other than Republican opposition really haven't done as well as the democratically elected Prime Ministers of Iraq who have been beseiged by al-Qaeda and Iranian backed militia. The reviewer of The Coldest War wrote:

"Korea was a war waged by a centrist Democratic administration and undermined at home by the Republican right.

Two decades later another war effort, in Vietnam, was undermined by the radical left.

And today that scenario is being repeated as the Democratic left, virtually every Democratic candidate, is demanding that the U.S. abandon Iraq."

Deja Vu all over again

"How good is government medical care?" asks Osler L. Peterson. Has a familiar ring, doesn't it? You really think you're reading today's arguments about healthcare--the fact that European countries already have it and their citizens are doing fine, that many elderly are suffering under high costs, and that there are already programs for the poor. But it was published in The Atlantic Monthly in September 1960 (the month I got married). This wakes you up.

"The Health Insurance Institute estimates that “getting sick and getting well” will cost the average American $105 in 1960. This sum will be distributed about as follows: $34 for the hospital, $26 for the doctor, $28 for medicines, $11.50 for the dentist, and $5.50 for other costs. The average United States family in 1957-1958 spent a little over $300 for medical care. These averages are influenced by many factors. Those with hospital insurance received more care than those without, and families with higher incomes spent more than those with smaller ones."

Using Measuring Worth (which only goes through 2006) we can look at several ways to see $105, the CPI probably being the most familiar.

In 2006, $105.00 from 1960 is worth:

$714.65 using the Consumer Price Index
$581.70 using the GDP deflator
using the value of consumer bundle *
$849.03 using the unskilled wage
$1,586.70 using the nominal GDP per capita
$2,631.92 using the relative share of GDP

I don't know if there is an accurate figure on health care costs--it depends on what think tank and which lobbyist are beholden to which party. I know ours is terribly high and we have "government health care," i.e. Medicare. This site says it is over $6,000 per person a year--not the best, just the most expensive.

What's probably changed since 1960 is indigent care. The son of a friend recently had an appendectomy--was hospitalized four or five days. He is unemployed and uninsured. It cost him nothing at the hospital down the road where it is $5,000+ a day to have a room in which to recover, and that doesn't cover the doctor and lab costs. If he'd been insured, he would have had a deductible and a co-pay, and the hospital might have had strict insurance guidelines on how long he could stay, or his employer might have lost its coverage. Under managed care, doctors and hospitals are no longer allowed to do what's best for the patient, only what's best for the bottom line. Imagine how much worse it will be with a committee of bureaucrats. The Katrina Care Plan, I like to call it.

But another thing that has changed since 1960 is heroic measures for people with a very limited life expectancy. An 85 year old dear man we know has several systems failing at once. Any one of them could kill him, but he had surgery this week for the most serious--he was given only 2 months to live if this wasn't repaired. I truly don't know what I would do if it were me, or my parent or husband, and none of us do until it happens to us. My mother had surgery for colon cancer in her 80s and had another wonderful five years with her family and husband, celebrating 65 years of marriage, dying of something totally unrelated. My father had a heart by-pass when he was 70 and lived another 19 years, needing to replace a few pacemakers and outliving some of his doctors.

Do you have the answers to how much is too much? Because you know well, without private supplemental policies, none of the above examples would be covered under Katrina Care.

How Hillary met Hillary

Was she named (with a double L) for Sir Edmund Hillary or not? Snopes reviews all the evidence. Sometimes the stories your parents tell you are just that. My mother told me my dad chose my name for a popular movie star of the 1930s, and No it wasn't Norma Jean, since she was just an unknown then. Norma Talmadge, of silent films, was already a star when my dad was born, so I suspect it must have been Norma Shearer, if you can believe the stories mothers tell little girls when they're passing the time doing the dishes. But if any film buffs have another suggestion, I'll take a look, because I don't remember.

4510

Eating Out, Cheap and Trim

In yesterday's WSJ Suzanne Barlyn rated five restaurants for their calorie and fat accuracy so you might have an idea how to reduce a 2,000-3,000 calorie meal in a restaurant to a more reasonable 600-700 calorie one. Here's the article on-line, but Barlyn has also written some excellent stuff about budgeting and eating healthy which you can find here.

We have had a "Friday night date" for about 40 years, and when our children were young we used to go out to eat with them about twice a month, usually for breakfast after church either at Paul's Pantry or Friendly's in Grandview, or a week-night at Tommy's Pizza on Lane Ave. (We'd call ahead even for table service because our little guy was pretty active). Social engagements or business appointments might send us to restaurants another 2-3 times a month. I think we're below the six times a week eating out that I heard on the radio the other day. One thing the women's movement of the 1970s did was create the modern family's dependency on the restaurant culture--and our growing obesity problem.

My suggestions, which were not included in Barlyn's article since she was evaluating specific menus at Applebee's and Friday's, are:

1) Choose friends or a group you enjoy so that the conversation and socializing are more important than the food.

2) Begin at noon/lunch. If you're going out for dinner, don't go out for lunch, but if you have to because of invitations or business, scale it way back.

3) Eat a small, crisp sliced apple or drink a glass of water before you leave the house, especially if you expect a wait.

4) Park further away from the restaurant than you need to--don't take the place right in front. The extra exercise will do you good, and someone else will love you for doing that.

5) Order your favorite--if you are dieting or even just maintaining/watching--don't use a restaurant menu to punish yourself. You'll soon fall off the wagon if you try to drastically change your diet.

6) Order a to-go or take-out box WHEN YOU ORDER your meal.

7) When the meal is served, put 1/2 or 1/3 in the box and set the box out of view. I've only seen one restaurant meal in my adult life that didn't include a full day's allowance for calories, fat and sodium, and that didn't include dessert or drinks.

8) If you've ordered a salad, always ask for dressing on the side, but DO NOT pour it on your salad.

9) Dip your fork in the dressing, then stab the lettuce. You'll never notice the difference, and you might just be pleased to taste the greens and veggies (at least if they aren't fresh you'll know it!).

10) Pass on the drinks if you're watching calories or pennies, whether a diet soda or wine. You'll not only cut the calories, but it will make a huge difference in the bill and tip. Diet soda, I'm convinced, has contributed to our obesity problem.

11) Slow down, think about what you're chewing and tasting. Pause to reflect, enjoy the company, your friends, spouse, etc. You can probably burn a few calories just by discussing the Buckeyes, or the election, or your latest surgery.

12) Skip the items labeled low-fat, or low-carb--especially cheese or ice cream. They often don't taste good and can just create a hunger for real sugar, or real fat. Eat less and enjoy real food. Want Death-by-Chocolate? Split the real thing with 2 other diners. The first ingredient in a low-fat dressing is water. If you can't resist gobs of dressing on your salad, order the real stuff and mix in some water.

13) I personally like the "senior" option (although my favorite restaurant doesn't have it). The portions are smaller, although I don't think it is as thrifty or as low-cal as halving the regular portion and your husband eating it for lunch the next day.

My all time favorite meal at a favorite restaurant, Schmidt's in German Village

Bahama Mama Sandwich $6.95
A grilled link of their original Bahama Mama (very hot sausage) on a toasted New England Split Top bun.

If you order with a side of chunky applesauce, you can justify not taking 1/2 of it home

Now if you have some suggestions, maybe we can bump this up to 20?

Pronounceable Acronyms

Acronyms have fascinated me since my early librarian days when we used primarily paper resources. I think Gale published a thick 3 volume set (also the reverse list) even back in the 80s. I'm always finding new ones that are completely understood in certain professions, but sound funny to outsiders.

TrOOP = true out-of-pocket, not to be confused with OOP, out-of-pocket: This is a government insurance acronym, and you can read a 30 page book on it here. While there, you'll notice all the unpronounceable ones like OIG, OAS, OEI, OI, OCIG, CoBC, PDE, MA-PD, MMA, ECRS, and CMS (whenever you see this last one it's a clue that it's about Medicare).

MOLDI = Mid-Ohio Library Digital Initiative. Wow. Leave it to librarians to find a pronouceable acronym that leaves a bad taste in your ears! Instead of reading a book, you can download it 24/7. Ever a baby step behind, it is not compatible with the Apple I-Pod right now.

DISCOVER = Disease Investigation Through Specialized Clinically-Oriented Ventures in Environmental Research. "The DISCOVER centers will help to define the role of environmental agents in the initiation and progression of human disease and develop new ways to both prevent and treat disease,"

Thursday Thirteen--13 Things to do when Microsoft updates in the middle of your blogging, and then reboots your extremely slow computer

1) Stare at the frozen screen in disbelief as your entry disappears.
2) Warm your coffee.
3) Unload the dishwasher.
4) Load the dishwasher.
5) Gather the magazines due at the public library for later.
6) Put away the remote and close the TV cabinet doors in the living room.
7) Write a card and address it for a friend who has been ill.
8) Find a stamp because there are none in your desk.
9) Check the laundry and dryer cycle.
10) Put away the straggler Christmas cards that arrived after you'd put everything away.
11) Throw out the trash that's been accumulating on your desk.
12) Use the restroom.
13) Brush teeth.

New Year's Resolutions

If I'd made a New Year's Resolution to update all eleven of my blogs, it would never have happened. But yesterday I noticed all but three had been updated in 2008, so I decided to go for it. I want you to know I'm doing my part to maintain the English language. A year ago, the Japanese language blogs slightly outnumbered the English language blogs. I'm not sure how social sites like MyFaceSpace are counted, but many young'ns like those self-absorbed thingies instead of blogs. Is it your patriotic duty to start another blog (regardless of your language or country)?

Hugging and Chalking--looked like a no brainer to me.

In the Beginning--usually I don't feature losers, but. . .

Coffee Spills--An embarrassing moment, now corrected

Church of the Acronym--Rahab's thread.

On my bookshelves--cross posted here with some revisions.

Memory Patterns--updated the statistics (final entry was over 2 years ago, but it keeps plugging along)

Growth Industry--5 tips for women

Class Reunion Blog--Lynne's letter to the Rockford paper

Exercising through the church year--group blog, but many have fallen away!

Illegals Today--new I-9 rules and new handbook

And my new computer still isn't unpacked! Do you think I'm avoiding something?

The Hillary Memories

Although I have a number of female friends who are Democrats, I don't know any who support Mrs. Clinton. I'm sure they'll be loyal Democrats and vote for her if she is the party's nominee, but there is zip, nada, zilch passion about her in the primaries. I think it's women's memories. They pre-date Hillary for a lot of us.

She reminds us of "the older woman" in the office or organization when we were 30-something--witchy, bitchy, menopausal, sneaky, know-it-all, humorless--you remember her don't you? Or if you're a lot younger than me, maybe you remember the boomer feminist who gave both of those terms a bad name. Always agitating, playing the victim. Or maybe your favorite was the gossip who stirred the pot every now and then.

Dear reader, I'm older than you, but my earliest memories of my three grandmothers begin when I was about four years old--they were 71, 68 and 49! And Hillary is 60. Now, we don't necessarily think "grandfather" when McCain or Kerry run, but as women, we just didn't hang out with a lot of adult men when we were growing up. Men were at work--doing big guy tough stuff. And the feminists made that even more lopsided by making sure women were put in positions of authority, so maybe you knew even fewer adult men than I did! Surely I'm not the only woman who sees this in Hillary. Now, all my grandmothers were terrific women--they ran their families just fine and they were powerful in their own right--but they just weren't presidential material.

Tomorrow we'll know after New Hampshire pulls the levers whether women have Hillary memories.

Jan. 9 update: So much for the accuracy of polls! "Obama Widens Lead Over Clinton in New Hampshire MANCHESTER, New Hampshire- Democrat Barack Obama expanded his lead over Hillary Clinton in New Hampshire to 13 points as voting began in the . . ." (Jan. 8 Zogby Poll)

I'd know those legs anywhere

When my husband was a teenager, he ran cross country and lettered (block T) at Arsenal Technical High School, a huge school in Indianapolis larger than the town where I grew up. Today we were looking for a classmate in the 1956 Cannon (no index) and I came across this photograph, with an incorrect caption. The book says it is the football eleven, but I noticed these guys weren't the football team and there sure were more than eleven. Then my eye fell on the guy in the foreground (#2), and I just knew it was my husband. You just never forget legs like that! Nowadays he's just a skinny guy who leads a bunch of ladies in an exercise class, but back then. . .

I can get a bit envious when I leaf through his yearbooks. I had fine teachers and a new high school building (the town no longer has a high school), but then I look at the opportunities Tech kids had (in addition to a wide range of sports): service clubs, Future Nurses Club, Chemistry Club, Music Club, Nature Study Club, Drama Club, Future Teachers of America Club, Radio Club, Square Dance Club, German Club, Art Club, Home Economics Club, XYZ Club (no idea what this was, but it was very large), ROTC, all sorts of musical groups which included a string quintet, concert band, dance band, brass ensemble, madrigal singers, boys octette, concert orchestra, woodwind ensemble and to top it all off, they even got to play Christmas music! Tech had 48 people on its cafeteria staff, a staffed bookstore, and 47 people on the custodial staff including 7 engineers! A display of "The American Way of Life" in October 1956 in one of Tech's main buildings drew 9,000 visitors. Would teenagers today even be allowed to host such a patriotic display? They had 140 different courses in Shop and a class in Stagecraft that built the downtown Christmas display on Monument Circle. Tech had classes in intelligent voting (although voting age then was 21), posture, recognizing marijuana and other drugs, and keeping their campus and property clean. I don't think I ever thought about that in high school.

One of my favorite things to read in my husband's yearbook is the full page note from his girlfriend. She too knew a good man, but she lost.

Keep a Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliot

Liberated from the freebie box at the church library, Keep a Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliot may be one of the best devotional titles I've ever read. I try to spend about 30 minutes in the morning reading either scripture, or a short meditative selection, or both. This title is a collection of her essays from her newsletter (The Elisabeth Elliot Newsletter, published 6 times a year, Ann Arbor, MI, 1982-2003). My paperback was published in 1995 by Vine Books, an imprint of Servant Publications. There are 104 selections, arranged by 5 topics, but including small excerpts from other authors (verses from poetry or hymns usually) there may be a total of 120-130.

The most amazing entry in my opinion is pp. 118-120, "Lost and found," which is about an answer to prayer. I've told this story to anyone who will listen, and photocopied it to give away. I love it. I've enjoyed this title so much, I'm rereading it. The newer editions of this book have a different cover.

Elizabeth Elliot, widowed twice, is 81 and has been married 30 years to Lars Gren. Her webpage is here. Lars and Elizabeth keep an update going called Ramblings from the Cove, and here's December 2007, quite lively and filled with humor. For those of you who fret over the health and risks of older relatives or friends, you'll enjoy:

There is no distinct age when operations—ailments—aches—replacements—3rd generation descendants creep into end of the year greetings but we may as well begin by saying that I did break a leg bone on my first day of trying down hill skiing—but I am fine since that occurred 60 plus years ago and nothing broken since.

Fashion models of distinguished merit

The things you learn by reading government gobble-de-gook for 2008.

"Established by the Immigration Act of 1990 (IMMACT 90), the H-1B nonimmigrant visa category allows U.S. employers to augment the existing labor force with highly skilled temporary workers. H-1B workers are admitted to the United States for an initial period of three years, which may be extended for an additional three years and, in some cases, beyond, if an a/s application is pending.

An H-1B nonimmigrant (with the exception of certain fashion models) must have a bachelor’s degree or higher (or equivalent) in the specific specialty. The H-1B visa program is used by some U.S. employers to employ foreign workers in specialty occupations that require theoretical or technical expertise in a specialized field and a bachelor’s degree or its equivalent. Typical H-1B occupations include architects, engineers, computer programmers, accountants, doctors and college professors. The H-1B visa program also includes certain fashion models of distinguished merit and ability and up to 100 persons who will performing services of an exceptional nature in connection with Department of Defense (DOD) research and development projects or coproduction projects. The current annual cap on the H-1B category is 65,000. Not all H-1B nonimmigrants are subject to this annual cap."

Monday Memories

Did I ever tell you about my retirement party?Somewhere, I'm sure I did. I think I had five of them. Librarians love to party--it's a well-known secret. I found my thank you to the committee in the OSU Knowledge Bank here on p. 5. My thank you works itself around some photos of people I don't know who were at the party. Tom Heck, the music librarian, and I had a joint party, so the cake had animals (for veterinary medicine) and musical instruments on it. I received a beautiful glass vase as a gift, and still use it regularly. I think I had the best job in the world, and I haven't missed it a minute.

I wish I could explain Knowledge Bank to you--it's called a "digital repository." There is no explanation on the website, and the arrangement looks like the game of 52 pick-up, even though it is a cooperative effort between the Libraries and the Office of the Chief Information Officer. Just type something into the search window--you'll be surprised. You might get an undergraduate honors thesis in biology from the 1970s, or an entire book published by the OSU Press, or even a blank screen. Or my retirement party.