More stuff, more stress

A few years ago, a well-heeled girlfriend told me that her 80-something mother was living in a tiny trailer in Arizona with a minimum amount of furnishings. She'd told her family, "When I die, just push it over the cliff." She wasn't poor; but she'd learned what most of us do after awhile--your possessions own you, not the other way around. In an article, about "Stressed out Moms" Ingrid Schlueter writes,

One factor seems to be expectations going into marriage. Newlyweds of my parents’ generation had very modest expectations financially. My parents started out in a basement apartment in Des Moines, Iowa that didn’t have much in the way of amenities. They graduated to a studio apartment later and then to a three bedroom flat where my brother, sister and I spent our early childhood years. From there it was a very simple, three-bedroom Milwaukee bungalow. No family room, one bathroom, old, basic kitchen and bath. The carpet when we moved in was the original and that goes for the linoleum as well. Mom made it all comfortable and homey, and we kids didn’t know that we lacked a thing. That’s where my parents lived until I was married.

Today, few newlyweds start out this way. Home ownership is seen as essential for many, even if it requires both husband and wife to work outside the home. It’s a dangerous way to begin because once the couple starts relying on two incomes to live, it is very hard to stop when a baby comes. Then the couple begins the stressed out years of trying to find and pay for exorbitant childcare, while strangers get the privilege of caring for their baby. Add a couple more children to the picture, and you have a lot of outgo for that same two-income couple and the race to meet all the demands begins."

That's exactly the same thing our Irish bus driver John (50 and the father of 5) said about the younger Irish generation setting up homes and getting mortgages. It's not a local problem.