Norma's plan for wealth and security--at your expense

This may look a little ragged---I sketched it out in about 10 minutes at the coffee shop this morning and I only have a little time before I leave for exercise class, but here's a reasonable draft. If you follow this, you'll be set for life with a very comfortable income with lots of perks, plus you'll feel so good about doing good.

1) Bring together a group of like minded friends--in your home would be best--for coffee and dessert.

2) Present a "problem" or "need"--could be anything you've noticed and tsk tsk'd about.

Maybe water use on the OSU golf course

wild life in the creek that runs through the neighborhood

non-native species, birds or plants, taking habitat and changing the ecology

roaming homeless people who show up in the community riding the bus from down town

no afterschool social programs or latch key for autistic children

be creative!

3) Everyone shares their "rolodex"--who we know, our neighbors, friends, members of city council, members of the state legislature or regulatory boards, boards of directors of non-profits, boards of trustees at the university and colleges we attended, department chairs at OSU, members of local Chamber, Rotary, Lions, etc.

4) Plan a fund raiser--maybe a silent auction, a "run for awareness," or a tent at a larger community festival, art show, or school event. This not only raises money but broadens your base of support--you need more people to feel invested emotionally and mentally in your plan.

5) Write your mission and vision statement/plan; open a bank account; rent a P.O. box for an address; appoint officers. I, of course, will be at the top. Find recognizable names and appoint a board that won't have to do anything except have their names displayed. Make sure one of your volunteers is a lawyer. You'll need a charter and organizing document. Apply for 501 C 3 non-profit status for your organization (charity, scientific, save animals, etc.). After you get this, it's doubtful anyone will check on you in the future, unless you do something screwy, like appear on the Glenn Beck show or dance nude in front of the city building.

6) Apply for grants from local foundations. Grant writing is an art--so you'll want to find a member in your group that has some experience in this. I used to do this, but it was years ago, so you won't ask me.

7) Using that small amount of grant money you can do a marketing campaign, pay for a professionally designed web "presence" and offer one or two educational events (again, this isn't for information, but for broadening your base of support). Get your little group on facebook and Twitter. Blog it to death. So far, you've not saved a single bird, or drop of water, or plant, but it takes a lot of money and time to gear up for the big reveal.

8) Reevaluate your mission, members and message. Redesign to become "green,", "sustainable," or "eco-something." No matter what your original concern was, this step is absolutely critical for further funding.

If you chose wildlife, you can expand to deer killed on the interstate, and you know what that means--big bad SUVs and semi's slurping up petroleum products shipped here from the middle east making us oil dependent so we need more wind mills to save the deer and stop the war in the middle east. See how easy it is to grow?

If you chose afterschool programs for autistic children, you can branch into investigations of products, healthy foods, anti-vaccine campaigns, or any of the larger health care concerns. There are lots of people on this band wagon, so it's a little dicey--not as safe as energy needs.

9) Apply for major funding and gifts--national foundations (there are thousands of these set up by rich entreprenuers to protect their wealth and run 2 generations later by feel-good, guilt-ridden descendants), state grants (which come from and are laundered from the federal) and federal grants when you're ready. There are thousands--most with very little oversight until the next administration comes in, so now's a good time.

10) Put me (or you) and your BBF BFF (a BBF was a local hamburger) on salary--nothing flashy--maybe $75-80,000 a year with full benefits. This is all covered in the 501 C 3 instructions. You don't want to raise any red flags. But make it comfortable. It's the perks that come from the travel to conferences and meetings in exotic locales, the schmoozing with other movers and shakers, and all those great connections for home loans, investment opportunities and good deals at wholesale that really make this job pay.

I don't want you to think I was smart enough to think this up on my own. No, I just read an interesting history of a non-profit in their latest annual report, and this is how the Ohio Housing Trust Fund went from a rag tag group of volunteers with no budget 20 years ago to a constitutionally backed budget of $56 million in the 2008-2009 Ohio Biennium Budget. Or you can follow and back track any group linked to Fannie Mae, whose front man is Barnie Frank. Just now I googled, "affordable house" + Fannie Mae + grants and found an amazing group of attractive annual reports. Go to it--I have to run to class.