3408 You can't marry your dental hygienist

or optician, or massage therapist because current law in some states won't even let you get acquainted. Even if you change doctors, you're prohibited from any contact for two years. You can't even date her sister or brother! Read Eugene Volokh in Opinion Journal to see how far we've gone with that bugaboo term "health care provider/practitioner," and sexual harrassment. This makes Victorian manners and morals look positively decadent.

And you alternative medicine folks aren't off the hook. In Minnesota "the law applies to a wide range of alternative health care practitioners, and not just massage therapists [where a suit was brought by the former husband of a woman who married her former client under this crazy law]. In particular, it covers people who practice "(1) acupressure; (2) anthroposophy; (3) aroma therapy; (4) ayurveda; (5) cranial sacral therapy; (6) culturally traditional healing practices; (7) detoxification practices and therapies; (8) energetic healing; (9) polarity therapy; (10) folk practices; (11) healing practices utilizing food, food supplements, nutrients, and the physical forces of heat, cold, water, touch, and light; (12) Gerson therapy and colostrum therapy; (13) healing touch; (14) herbology or herbalism; (15) homeopathy; (16) nondiagnostic iridology; (17) body work, massage, and massage therapy; (18) meditation; (19) mind-body healing practices; (20) naturopathy; (21) noninvasive instrumentalities; and (22) traditional Oriental practices, such as Qi Gong energy healing."