Monday Memories--Remembering Mother

January 24 will be the seventh anniversary of my mother's death. I remember getting the call at my office in the library at OSU and the overwhelming feeling of desolation and abandonment. But also I felt relief. She had died as she lived--with peace and dignity. Here's what I wrote about her in 2004 when her second cousin Marianne who lived in Iowa (their grandparents were siblings) returned a batch of her letters to me.

"I didn’t wait until Mother's death to canonize her as some have done with their parents. I've always known I had an exceptional mother (well, not counting those awful teenage years when I knew everything and she knew nothing!). And I've never known anyone who thought otherwise. She was, however, a rather private person, kept her own counsel, I think is the phrase. Didn't dabble in controversy. Didn't gossip. Didn't argue. So her letters from 1975 to 1998 are less than forthcoming. Weather report. Crop report. Grandchildren report. Health report (as they aged).

Each year Mother wrote Marianne promises or near-promises to travel to Iowa so they could see each other in person, but as far as I can tell from the letters, this only happened for Thanksgiving in 1988, although the Iowans did visit in Illinois in the late 70s.

Since Marianne was her cousin and also Brethren, she did share some thoughts on their common heritage on Christmas: "[at a 1978 retreat] no one of Brethren background could recall Christmas trees except at our country school programs. Most of us hung up stockings as children. Christmas dinners with relatives and programs at church and school seemed bigger than our present celebrations. Gifts were mostly homemade. We had lots of fun and excitement as we remembered."

She fretted a little on Memorial Day 1975 that she and her sister were the only ones left to place flowers at the grave sites of parents and brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, something their mother had always done. In 1987 she recalls visiting in Iowa her great Aunt Annie as a young child--"the comb honey served at meals and the fat feather mattress we slept on reached with a little foot stool. I wish I might have known them at a later age when memories wouldn’t be so dim and one could appreciate more."

Finally, in 1998, Mother writes Marianne that "I try to tell Amy (granddaughter, early 30s) stories about the family [learned from Marianne's mother] so someone remembers how the George family spread out and came west."

Remember to pass along those family stories to your children and grandchildren. Monday Memories is very useful for that.

View More Monday Memories Participants
My visitors and those I'll visit this week are:Anna, Becki, Chelle, Chelle Y., Cozy Reader, Debbie, Friday's Child, Gracey, Irish Church Lady, Janene, Janene in Ohio, Jen, Katia, Lady Bug, Lazy Daisy, Ma, Mrs. Lifecruiser, Melli, Michelle, Paul, Susan, Viamarie.