Will the New Green just be a shade of Cabrini Green?

When city planners, social workers, developers and architects start eyeing the neighborhood and deciding that they know best how Americans should live, hang on to your wallet. You might get the Cabrini Greens of the mid-20th century, or the paradigm-shift-responsible-growth green designs of the 21st century. What we've got going up on Tremont Road here in Upper Arlington isn't exactly a Cabrini Green, but it's ugly as hell and is euphemistically called "mixed-use development." That means the developer was allowed to tear down four family units inhabited by modest income elderly and young couples, and put up four story, half million dollar condo units sitting on top of a Walgreen's or Starbucks.

Cabrini Green for those of you who didn't grow up near Chicago is the infamous public housing complex that was going to fix slum housing and crime through regulation and relocation of the poor. When I was a teen and we would drive past those shiny new developments, I probably believed that new bricks made new people. I was so open minded you could have driven a loaded dump truck through my brain. Even though I could hear my dad grumbling in the background about what a waste it was and how it'd be a slum within a decade. He was right (he was a Republican and my mother a Democrat and they regularly cancelled each others' votes on election day). Didn't work. Stacking 15-20,000 poor people and welfare families into high rises creates a high rise slum. Imagine! In fact, it probably contributed to more gang violence and white flight than anything else social scientists have pushed Americans in to over the years from their protected ivory towers and government buildings made of pork. Then when they decided to tear it all down 40 years later because it was so unsafe and unsightly (not to mention sitting on increasingly valuable land), the poor had to be uprooted again, just a different generation and a different ethnic mix.

The Green Alphabet Soup

Here's the green alphabet soup of code words for the New Green, minus the Cabrini. Keep in mind that asbestos in insulation and lead in paint were the best ideas of the smartest people of an earlier generation. A generation from now your grandchildren might be ripping out extruded-polystyrene foam and collector panels with glycol. And if you thought your local zoning board was tough, just wait till you encounter the green czars of building regulatory agencies.

LEED - Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design

USGBC - United States Green Building Council

CNU - Congress for the New Urbanism

NRDC - Natural Resources Defense Council

ND - Neighborhood Development

You may think you have the right to vote, that we have a representative form of government, and that there are courts to whom you can take your case as an American citizen, but regulatory agencies and groups can snatch that away from you faster than you can say "endangered species."

Here are the non-acronym code words and phrases that I see in all my husband's magazines and newsletters. Some can be mixed and matched, not that I'd suggest that just to take it to your community's zoning board.

sustainable

alternative

renewable

payback

energy efficiency, energy costs, energy investment, energy footprint, energy security

ecosystem, eco-friendly

wetlands

recycled

effects of global warming

green choice

safe environment

high performance replacement [fill in the blank]

drought resistant or drought tolerant landscaping

smart growth, responsible growth

access to transportation (public), walk to the grocer (this is code term for keep out big-box stores), bicycle paths, footpaths

best practices

benchmarks

neighborhood design, mixed-use design

geothermal, solar, photovoltaic, window film

How to have an award winning home

Here's how to have an award winning design that will get past your regulatory and zoning commissions and get your home into the latest building magazines.

1. Buy a lot that is near public transportation, a bike path, and within 1/2 mile of the nearest store--even if you'd never shop there. But look out for places like Ohio State where the bike path ends for 100 ft. under a bridge and the city and university can't agree on whose responsibility it is.

2. Use photovoltaic panels on the roof. Have a battery back-up if you live in a low sun area like Columbus (37% sunshine) or Seattle.

3. Collect rain water and heat it with solar panels. Keep an eye on the mold problem.

4. Use paint that has one of the approved, seal of perfection from one of the above groups. No one knows how long this stuff will last or what the long term affects are to your health, so be forewarned.

5. Make-up for the cramped square footage by having high ceilings (steep roof helps those panels). Spiders love it.

6. Don't attach your garage to the house so you can avoid all those environmental codes about fumes. Live in North Dakota? Tough.

7. Use less wood by not using headers of traditional framing and pray for no tornados in your life time. Or, don't build in tornado alley.

8. Site the house on the lot to take advantage of the sun, even if you're facing the free-way or the landfill and missing the forest, the view for which you bought the lot.

9. Don't build on a compacted landfill like just off Trabue Road in Columbus, Ohio. Something might ooze up later. (I watched them create that.)

10. Choose a climate for your lot where you won't need air conditioning. Like Huntington Beach, California or Bainbridge Island, Washington.

If you had to do all this, when would you do the rest of your job?