765 Reading the help wanted ads

Four or five people in my prayer job jar are looking for work. Some want more pay. Some less stress. Some will take anything if it is a "living wage." So I skim the advertised jobs occasionally and read the career column in the Wall Street Journal. Sometimes I think their ads are a test for comprehension and following instructions.

1) Raymond James advertises a drug free workplace. It doesn't mention tobacco, but I know some firms are now turning down smokers because of insurance costs.
2) If you don't include ad number and job title, Johnson Controls won't even look at your application. Their web site says they have worked on the Pentagon, the Eiffel Tower, the Kremlin and the Sydney Opera House, so I suppose following instructions is key.
3) A DOE position at the NBL is a CH-SES-05-01 and must be applied for on-line.
4) Whoever applies for Chancellor at the University of Denver will need to watch out for the following verbs: lead; increase; improve; build; elevate; extend; and cultivate. Sounds like Jesus' job description.
5) Pilgrim's Pride may be the "2nd largest poultry producer in the U.S. and Mexico" and the 1st in Puerto Rico, but you will be working in "beautiful east Texas."
6) Apply to MorningStar on line, but only if you have a "healthy dose of skepticism."
7) There's a golf course for sale in SC--recently renovated. I'll bet there's a bankruptcy story in there somewhere.
8) While looking, you can feed the poor and homeless by donating your yacht.