What Women Want

When I started blogging in 2003, I had a small problem finding interesting blogs written by women. Now they've taken over blogdom. The crafters are stunning with gorgeous photos of wip and wonderful group projects; the cooking blogs can put on weight just reading the ingredients; the mommy blogs are so well written you can almost smell the diapers and spit-up and they write vivid descriptions of labor and delivery, something I've tried hard to forget; the photobloggers seem to have a way with cats and nature; the book reviewers with their TBR lists put me to shame; the career blogs are sometimes a bit specialized and require some anonymity if they want to keep their jobs; and of course, the librarian blogs are very high tech but with a light, feminine touch.

Almost every blog I read gets 20-30 times more comments than I do (I get a lot of readers; not many leave comments). There are reasons for this, and you won't be surprised when I tell you why.

1. My age. Yes, folks, I'm old enough to be the mother or even grandmother of some of the ladies whose blogs I link to. This is a huge disadvantage in drawing comments--it's a cultural divide of unbelievable proportions. When Crazy Aunt Purl, who is 30-something, cute, divorced and struggling, not to mention funny and a fabulous cat photographer who knits, writes about getting out of debt with a strict budget, she might get 145 comments! If write about budgeting to stay out of debt, I'd be lucky to get a yawn. It's much better to hear from a peer than someone your mom's age who's never even had a balance on her credit card! Even if I sprinkled my budget advice with adorable photos of my cat, I wouldn't get comments. Aunt Purl and the very political Neo-Neocon's sites act as discussion boards where people return and comment on the remarks of the other readers.

2. Mine is not a happy-clappy blog, cheering on the ladies like some of the boomer bloggers I've read who have come out of life's struggles with a smile and a hug for everyone, and never a critical word. Wow. I love to read them, too--and you should see the comments. Lazy Daisy is just the person to visit if you need a lift--except for that really gross-out story about her son's apartment.

3. I am a conservative, evangelical Christian and am also politically conservative. I could measure the drop off of readership if I even mention abortion or creation. They are lead balloon topics for blogs, unless you're targeting those groups (dominated by male bloggers who think women should keep quiet in their presence). But I can't resist pointing out fallacies and murky thinking when it comes to protecting the weakest.

4. Although I read a lot, I'm really a dabbler, and prefer magazines and newspapers. I have no background in literature (in college I never had a class in British or American literature and rarely read fiction of any type). I like to read the review and literary blogs, but can't really make a contribution.

5. Many of my "regular" readers and commenters that used to stop by closed up shop after a year or so. Some have totally removed the blog site, others have just stopped posting anything. Even two guys I used to visit have disappeared with no explanation.

6. I don't participate in more than one ring, or event at a time. Women just love these things--they are so social! I liked Friday Feast, but moved on to Thursday Thirteen, then left that and took up Poetry Thursday. Many of the women I visit have an event going on every day of the week, sometimes two. Tasks for Tuesday or Wordless Wednesday or Super Bowl Menu and so forth--I think it's like running into each other at the market and stopping for a chat.

7. And lastly, even my friends and family don't leave comments. Some don't even read--they say they are too busy, or can't find them, or have to clean a closet. I read a lot of blogs where the comment windows are like family reunions. If it weren't for good old Murray whom I knew in high school and sends me the obituaries from our home town, you would think I just growed.