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DNA = Darn Nuisance Again

It's in our genes. Something in our DNA gurgles forth when we find a problem on the web. Talking with other librarians at the retirees lunch last Friday I realize I'm not the only one who gets sidetracked in the middle of researching something to offer the webmaster or IT staff some suggestions about broken links, links that misdirect, or bad printing advice. It just happened again, although not at a library or church site (where I usually suggest they at least mention the name of the town or city when giving the street address). This was a very lovely letter from Campus Crusade for "Rapid Deployment Kits" providing spiritual resources for our troops. Because my husband doesn't use the computer (and sleeps in longer than I do and I would forget this by the time we see each other), I wanted to print it. We usually consult with each other before straying from our list of parachurch donations.

To print a webpage I first do a print preview, because I hate getting that 3rd or 4th page with one line of advertising on it. But some web pages get around this by printing the pretty stuff (don't know the technical term) on page 1 after you've adjusted your printer to print only one page based on a "print preview." So after it spits it out, you have the colorful heading and no letter. For some reason, my printer (HP Photosmart, 3 in one, don't ever buy one), will then grab 5 or 6 pages if you try to turn that sheet over and print the "real" information, jamming as it goes, requiring a 5 minute hassle when all you wanted to do was donate $10 so a soldier in Iraq or Afghanistan will have a New Testament.

After the paper is unjammed and you have the letter (if you have librarian DNA), you then stop to send the company webmaster/IT staff an e-mail explaining how they could be more helpful to the ordinary reader who isn't 21 years old and gaming in their off time. It takes awhile to do this because the comment window is well hidden behind the FAQ which they want you to read first. Since they rarely acknowledge that their own stuff might be unhelpful, printing instructions are rarely included in an FAQ (also printers differ). The easiest thing is to have a "print only this page" or similar option, but that might leave out the advertising, so not all sites offer this. My prontomail e-mail is a mess to print. I have to copy and drop it in a word processing document or it tries all sorts of funny things. No matter what I comment on, they tell me to clear my cache.

I tried to order 2 books for my husband and his friend from Amazon. I had checked it out of the library for him (he also never goes to a library) and he loved it. Amazon offered me an additional 30% off if I'd get their charge card. I don't really want another charge card, but I thought it might be useful for ordering books. "Just a few seconds" ran into many minutes and gazillions of pages of tiny print I'm sure no one but a librarian would read, so I backed out of that and went back to my one credit card. Five times I tried. Five times it told me I didn't enter select the name of the card (but I did). So I backed out again, and decided I would just go up the street to Barnes and Noble and talk to a human being and tell them I wanted to order 2 copies of one title for 2 retired architects who want to own the wonderful book on architectural drawings that's available at UAPL.

But my DNA kicked in and I stopped to search for the comment window (not easy to do) and tell them about the problem. After 3 days, I finally got a response, apologizing for nothing, and telling me I hadn't selected the right card name (I only have one card so I think I know which company I use), or my number didn't match their database (why is my number in their database?) or other snarky suggestions. I wrote back that I'd done it all correctly and I was going to a bookstore, but their response was automated and said I couldn't reply to their reply! I will waste no more valuable librarian DNA on Amazon. They can just keep their old books.

When I shared with the retirees group my opinion on the lack of flexibility and awkwardness of "digital repository" software (many libraries use the same program which looks like no librarian ever sat on the selection committee) one retiree told me I should volunteer for the committee at OSU that handles that. A committee? No way! If I wanted to spend my life on a committee I wouldn't have retired.

Rant over. I feel better.