Oprah and Orpah

Oprah (no last name needed) is the richest woman in the United States. . . and no, the lists don't say that because they include women who got their wealth from their family status, and inheritance--wife, widow, daughter, granddaughter, etc. Oprah actually earned her billions. And then there's Orpah, the check-out clerk (not her real name). Orpah is a Biblical name, the daughter-in-law of Ruth (means "she who turned back") and Oprah is probably a misspelling of that Biblical name on her birth certificate.

Poor Orpah behind the cash register is about Oprah's age, but she's white, skinny, with a long gray pony tail, a sullen grimace for all the customers, and no fashion sense at all, unless baggy t-shirts and work boots are in style.

So, here's a question for all you Democrats and liberal Republicans. How much of Oprah's wealth should be redistributed to Orpah who didn't get the personality, looks or education to become a successful talk show host and media mogul? She's a victim. Maybe her parents died; maybe she had an abusive husband; maybe she was a single mom.  Just because she rarely speaks to the customers and isn't photogenic, didn't pursue an education (although I really don't know--perhaps there were no scholarships or loans for skinny, unathletic white teen girls in the 1970s) doesn't mean she deserves to have so much less money than Oprah. She'd probably enjoy a few of those acres by the ocean in California, or attentive personal assistants, or dining out in fancy restaurants, or even Oprah's health care plan.

So, liberals, how would you redistribute Oprah's wealth to Orpah? And how much before Oprah would notice it was even gone?