Tuesday, February 28, 2006

2227 The daughter-in-law--taking applications

You've seen the reality show about the bachelor choosing a wife. Why couldn't there be a show called "The daughter-in-law?" I've thought of throwing a big party and inviting all the single women I know to meet my son--he'd be the only guy at the party (unfortunately, most are in their 50s and 60s, and one in her 80s). He has excellent manners and I'm sure would make them all feel special, but would probably not speak to me for awhile.

My idea of the perfect daughter-in-law is probably different than my son's idea of a perfect wife. Actually, in marriage there is no perfection, so let's just toss that word out, OK? Marriage is mostly enjoying the good qualities and accepting the flaws, your spouse's and your own. Marriage is smoothing out your own rough edges so you aren't always poking at each other. He says next time he'd like to be the boss; he wants to be only 50% to blame when there is a problem. Personally, I don't think that's the best attitude if he wants it to last longer than a week or two.

I would like her (my new daughter-in-law) to be a little bit like my friend Mitzi, who used to use her week-ends to help care for her husband's father. Not so unusual, you say? Well, she lived in Illinois and her father-in-law lived in Arizona. So I'd say she was one fabulous daughter-in-law. My father-in-law's other daughter-in-law, Kate, is another one who willingly stepped in to provide care when needed, but they lived in the same house.

I would also like her to be a little bit like my son-in-law, who is cuddly, funny, and available when we need help--like tomorrow he's coming over to move furniture so we can have carpeting installed on Thursday. He also cleans the house and does the laundry (at his house) and has a good job. She wouldn't have to be strong enough to move furniture, but it would be nice for my son if she liked to clean and do laundry (don't laugh, some women do) and was also the CEO of a Fortune 500 company.

I would also like her to be a bit like my former daughter-in-law who was a fabulous cook and hostess. We aren't party people, so having her around was always a blast, and being invited for dinner was marvelous. Once when I was in the hospital she brought in a great meal and also gave me a manicure! I would also like her to be smart like my niece-in-law, Leigh, who is brainy, but very easy to talk to. I would like my daughter-in-law to be active in her church like my niece-in-law Joan, who seems to have a wonderful group of supportive friends and helps with the youth group. My son is a Christian and has learned the meaning of being unequally yoked.

I also think it would be nice if she were as good to her own parents as our daughter is to us. God save us from a woman who "has issues" she's always working on. I just don't think we have enough time left on this earth for her to find herself. She should like living in the mid-west and not be pining for mountains or oceans all the time. Sharing holidays--would that be too much to ask for?

I'm sorry this list is getting a bit long and doesn't look very romantic, but my son, of course, is going to be looking for what men always look for, so I thought that department was covered and I'd just throw out some ideas.

Oh yes, and he likes to fish, plays the guitar, and has a dog and a cat. So we want someone outdoorsy with no allergies.


Anvilcloud said...

What a list! Don't hold your breath; I don't think there will be a flood of applicants. :)

mdoneil said...

Let me know if she has a sister :)

Melli said...

Let ME know if she has a BROTHER! I'm shopping for a son-in-law! ;)

Anonymous said...

Huh.. not pining for mountains or oceans? LOLOL, sounds hideous, what on earth is there in the Mid-West then? Thank God I live where I have both.

Carmen said...

Ok, I'm posting my application! :P


Norma said...

Carmen, you've got some great photographs. But I think your lust for travel would disqualify you for settling in the midwest and being a good daughter-in-law.

KC said...

Forgive me if you've posted this elsewhere (I haven't kept up with the blog) -- what happened to the former daughter-in-law?

Norma said...

KC: she's doing fine, lives in California. It just didn't work out for them, and we were very sorry about that.

Mohamed Taher said...

Hello from a librarian who understands this as a perfect fit in the South Asian context. Pl. make a powerpoint with bullets of a) mandated, b) desired and c) avoidable (interesting will be undesireable) categories.
I am not joking; this is a serious subject in a culture where arranged marriages dominate, and education on what works is rare.

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Anonymous said...

Hi,im having alot of issues with my mil.
Im looking to make peace and compromise.
Im writing down your list.Hopefully this will help:)...lol..

Norma said...

I wrote this almost 5 years ago and still don't have a daughter in law!