Cite your sources, please

Today I was reading a passage about Leo Tolstoy in the book A Faith and Culture Devotional. Parts of the book are used in an on-line guide, so this link is to that. I have the print copy. (It's a wonderful book in case you're looking for Christmas ideas.)

The passage about Tolstoy’s treatment of his wife Sophia and their children was used to show how a quest for holiness and perfection may backfire in the lives of those nearest and dearest.

“There is so little genuine warmth about him; his kindness does not come from his heart, but merely from his principles.… no one will ever know that he never gave his wife a rest and never—in all these 32 years—gave his child a drink of water or spent five minutes by his bedside.”

But Philip Yancey, the author of the essay on Tolstoy, provides no citation. Yancey is an editor of Christianity Today and should know better. Oh well, now we have the internet and it shouldn’t be that tough to track down, right? Wrong. I spent about 45 minutes (it was an interesting search) and still don't have the exact source. I did find a wonderful source at NPR with photos of Sophia and a new book about the family, but not that passage. However, I kept finding this same quote in numerous sources, all without a citation. It was like trying to track one of those viral e-mails or an urban legend.

Eventually I revised my search and found a partially scanned copy of Sophia’s autobiography with extensive notes at the end about the battle of the diaries. I looked through it quickly, and I’m guessing this popular legend about Tolstoy's family life came from her book, translated and published in 1922. Autobiography of Countess Tolstoy [Sophie Andreevna Tolstoy] By Sofʹi︠a︡ Andreevna Tolstai︠a︡, translated by S. Koteliansky and Leonard Woolf. 1922.

However, in reading the extensive notes at the end (more interesting and complicated than my original quest), it is easy to see that wives of famous people (Mary Lincoln comes to mind) don’t fare well at the hands of male historians and biographers. They seem to grasp that although she was caring for 9 children when Lev decided to go on his spiritual quest and give away all their wealth and possessions, and that several of her 13 children died, and there were family squabbles enough to populate several large Russian estates, she was the one who was crazy. Go figure.