797 Such an exclusive deal!

Yesterday I returned a birthday present--the slacks were 5 inches too big in the waist, and about 4 inches too long in the legs. Rather than pay a seamstress to make the adjustments, I returned them to Lazarus. At least we called that store Lazarus when my daughter bought the gift in September (took me awhile to try them on--she loves that brand, but she has long legs and is short waisted). It was really a Macy's store when I took them back (name was actually changed in 2003).

With my new Macy's charge card I received a 15% off coupon to break it in. With the $44 credit for the slacks (I had no receipt, so I got whatever the current price is), and the coupon, and a huge 70% off sale, I figured the store would be paying me to shop! Maybe I'd pick something up for the Florida trip. But it was not to be. Nothing but picked over winter stuff in sizes 2XL or Petite2. Besides, the fine print on the coupon had that little "exclusions apply, see back for details" note.

May not be combined with any additional discount offers.
May not be applied to previous purchases.
Excludes Everyday value items
Excludes specials
Excludes super buys
Excludes cosmetics and fragrances
Excludes Polo/Lauren/Ralph Lauren
Excludes Tommy Bahama
Excludes Impulse
Excludes Bridge and Design Sportswear for her
Excludes Dooney & Bourke
Excludes Coach
Excludes Kate Spade
Excludes watches
Excludes Bridge/Designer shoes, handbags
Excludes small electrics and personal care
Excludes Vera Wang
Excludes Waterford
Excludes furniture, mattresses, floor covering
Excludes services
Excludes restaurants
Excludes Macys.com, macysweddingchannel.com/Kiosks
Excludes special orders
Excludes Macy's gift cards and merchandise certificates

Twenty five years ago I wrote a newsletter called "No Free Lunch" about marketing schemes using coupons, stamps, sweepstakes and other ways to play with your food. It is all coming back to me now. The house always wins.