Your dog or your wifeWe have a cat. When we've been gone for awhile, she will roll on the floor and show her tummy, spreading cat hair everywhere, and then later climb daintly in my lap and wipe her wet nose (it runs when she's emotional) all over my hands. If we had a dog, say a chocolate lab or a fawn Chihuahua, she would jump on me, knock me down, and lick my face.
This morning on my morning walk I passed a neighbor's place being remodeled. Extensively. Workers' trucks, vans, cars and trash bins everywhere. When a young carpenter jumped out of his Volvo and opened the trunk, I stopped and told him this joke. "If you put your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car for three hours, when you open it, your dog will be happy to see you, your wife won't." He didn't crack a smile, just said, "That's a funny joke." Maybe he's tried that.