Monday Memories

Monday Memories

Did I ever tell you about my green thumb?

On one of my parents’ visits (they lived in Illinois and we live in Ohio) when our children were about 4 and 5, my mother gave them each a small potted houseplant. I think they may have been starts from her kitchen window collection. I'm absolutely terrible with plants, but these two little things (I never took them out of their original pots and have no idea what they are called) managed to survive on my window sill at our house for over 30 years. They always looked just awful, but they were alive, and I admired their spunk.

People who knew about plants would pause at the window and try to snip off a few dead leaves and make suggestions like, "Why are you binding up their poor little feet in those small pots," or "Have you thought about fertilizer, moving them, trimming them, etc." But the two little plants just kept on keeping on, year after year, through pre-school, grade school, high school, birthday parties, prom dates, family crises, the kids moving out and finally moving on to their own marriages and homes and coming back to visit. In fact, those poor little scruffy, pitiful, limp plants sat on the window sill through two wedding brunches, in 1993 and 1998 (one described last week).

Before we moved to the condo in 2002 I gave one plant to my son, who seems to know about how to encourage green things. He even has a cactus collection; flowers bloom around his mailbox. The other one I put in the stairwell for a bit of greenery that wasn't artificial. Every now and then I'd bring it to the kitchen so it could look out the window, but there really is no place for plants in this kitchen. In general, condos are a bit light-deprived. Our house had 34 windows; the condo has maybe 10.

In mid-May of 2002 the remaining stunted, deprived plant started to falter. When I returned home from my parents' burial (Mom died in 2000 and Dad in 2002, but they were interred together) in late May I thought maybe it needed more sun since it had been accustomed to an east window at our house. So I put it outside in the covered entry area--you know--fresh air, sunshine. It works for people.

It continued to wilt, obviously in the throes of a death struggle. One little vine was left with green leaves among some sticks. After 32 years, I actually bought a bag of potting soil--something I'd never done when the little twig still had a chance. I moved it to a larger pot and put it on the deck on the north side to see if I could encourage it. But I think it knew its job was over.

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2157 When the children are tucked in their beds

Family Man Librarian gets out a good book to read. And he keeps track of his reading and posts the titles on his blog with LibraryThing, which he'll explain here.

2156 No, we do not need to see this film

Or read the book, for that matter.

"I just read a ludicrous statement by some Christian pastor, calling for all Christians to go to see The Da Vinci Code when it opens. His statement was something to the effect of "Every Christian needs to see this film!" I beg to differ.

No. We don't need to see this film. We all know what is in it. (Especially me, as I have read the screenplay.) It is a movie which begins from the point that Jesus was a fraud. He was not only not Divine, he was less than a man. And His Church is a sham association of meglomaniacal conspirators whose unifying principles are in the oppression of women." Barb at Church of the Masses.

Just say no. Vote with your non-ticket. Check out one of the 105 movies recommended by Sherri and stay home.

2155 Politics from the pulpit in black churches

is a given. We've got a black newspaper in town, and if you've ever looked at it, there are politicians in the pulpit all the time. In a black church in Columbus, OH you can find a John Edwards or a John Kerry or an Al Gore or a Jesse Jackson, and they aren't up there directing the choir or praying for healing of the sick. Civic involvement is the 11th commandment at a black church, and I say Amen, sisters. So why have a group of Columbus pastors and rabbis joined forces to file a complaint with the IRS against World Harvest and Rod Parsley? Yes, World Harvest had a voter registration drive and I think they probably signed up more voters than liberals did, but they also passed out food to the poor, more than the liberals did, and distributing food has become a government job, too. What is this? Pulpit envy?

I've never been to World Harvest, and have only glanced at Parsley on TV, but his organization is HUGE. His is the Wal-Mart Superstore of Pentecostal, crying, hollaring, gospel singing, tell-it-like-it-is churches.
John Kedwards getting blessings from the black pastors in the 2004 campaign

Line between church and state, my foot. This really stinks. Next thing you know they'll say churches can't speak about marriage, or abortion, or gambling because those areas belong to the government and not the Lord. I wonder how many of these 30+ pastors and rabbis contribute to the ACLU?

2154 And I thought our income tax was complicated!

A law passed in Congress in 1994 called the Victims of Nazi Persecution Act of 1994 creates a special right for survivors of the Holocaust. When they apply for federally funded benefits or services that are based on financial need, the payments they have received based on their status as a victim of Nazi persecution are not counted in determining their financial eligibility for these federally funded benefits. This is an exception to the usual rule that counts all income and assets when determining eligibility for programs based on need. Part A of this brochure explains these rules. Part B explains how to find out how much restitution you have received over the years, in order to show how much of your savings do not count in determining your financial need.

This is taken from Selfhelp pamphlet, but the 12 pages of instruction are not legal advice so it might be necessary to contact the specific agency and this group isn't responsible for incorrect information.

Again, can we all say it together through April 15? Why does the government make taking our money so difficult?

2153 Can't you sit like a lady?

One of the Thursday Thirteens I have in mind to write is proverbs, sayings and comments from my parents that have stayed with me over the years. We all have them, even if Mom and Dad died years ago. Oh, maybe it wasn't your parents; maybe grandma, or a friend you admired who sort of mentored you. But they are there, little phrases and sayings speaking out when you need them. Or don't need them and wish they'd go away.

Sometimes I can hear Daddy calling across the living room, "Can't you sit like a lady," but yesterday he was saying it from my memory bank to the lovely young mother talking to me via the video screen/DVD at church. She has movie star good looks, a fabulous voice (I think she said she was a communications and voice major in college), a great sense of humor, wisdom and a presence before an audience that must be natural, because she couldn't be old enough to have developed it from experience or training.

In the final session she is not in front of a studio audience, but supposedly is in her own family room for a wrap up and review. With her Bible, she sits down on her couch, tucks one leg under her bottom, and brings one bare foot up and immediately hikes her knee (she's wearing jeans) up in front of her chest. Sort of casual for talking to a couple of million ladies in Bible study, wouldn't you say? And I think that was the point. . . Ladies, let's get real and personal here was the idea her director and writer wanted to convey.

But I've seen women do that on national television. On Oprah. On David Letterman. Usually they are in jeans, occasionally in slacks, and I've never seen anyone do it in a dress, even if the dress would cover the exposed legs and bottom. Why do women sit that way? My mother's generation didn't (b. 1912). Nor did my grandmother's (b.1876). Sloppy posture and ungainly poses only started when women began wearing jeans and slacks in public (farm women and factory women wore them much earlier than urban women) in the 1940s. They aren't imitating men, because usually only gay guys sit that awkwardly, and I assume they are imitating women.

So from my daddy's lips to your ears and hips:
Can't you sit like a lady?

2152 The ACLU is after the Scouts again

They've got some blogging milmoms they'll have to fight. Blue Star Chronicles for one.

"So, while the ACLU defends NAMBLA they wage war against the Boy Scouts. They maintain NAMBLA is not harmful to our children. The Boy Scouts, on the other hand, are 'bigots' espousing values such as honor, integrity, discipline, self-reliance, participating in the community and helping others."

2151 Olympic thoughts

Badaunt is a New Zealander living in Japan teaching English and she had some thoughts on the Olympic skaters with the fire of passion in their helmets during the opening (truly the weirdest thing I've ever seen and I fully expect some kid to try it). She drifted into her fright from a bacon fire on her stove and some thoughts on teaching English:

"I have become very good at suppressing the occasional urge to shout obscenities. It is a side effect of working in a language classroom, where students who refuse to learn the most basic English will pick up rude language at lightening speed EVEN IF YOU ONLY WHISPER IT, and will repeat it back at you at every opportunity." Badaunt

Another thing children will imitate.

2150 If you film it they will come

Average rate of return on investment by film rating


from interview with Christian film maker Ralph Winter at Religion and Liberty

You vote with your entertainment dollars, not your protests.

2149 How not to marry a high maintenance woman

Since I wrote on How not to marry a jerk, I thought I should give women equal time. A female jerk is a "high maintenance woman," and we're not talking just money here, but time, energy and emotions. They wear you out and exhaust you with their games, chatter, nagging, gossip and whining. Again, I don't have personal experience with this, but I have friends and family who do. I even checked the internet on this one, and when guys talk about this, they usually mean $$$$. Women have a different interpretation, so I had to do some interviewing to write this one.

She might be high maintenance if

• every crisis is about her. When 9/11 happened, she was worried about her trip to NY, not about the victims or the country.
  
• she's never available to help. She wants you and your buddies to help her move, but she can't even hang a towel or run the vacuum at your house.
  
• she only calls when she needs something. You might as well say, "Hello, what do you need now?" when you see her number come up.
  
• she can't save money. Can't be bothered with learning the magic alphabet from 403-b to 401-k.
  
• she's paying off credit card debt at the minimum, and should have that entertainment center paid for in 2035.
  
• she still depends on daddy to bail her out of messes. He and not she has furnished that nice house and bought the expensive clothes, and he's hoping to unload her.
  
• she interacts very differently with others than she does when it's just the two of you.

She's definitely high maintenance, so just cut and run because it is hopeless if

• You've set the date and she's turned into Bridezilla.
  
• the ring isn't big enough, the right color, yada, yada.
  
• she can't rearrange her schedule because of her hair, her make-up, doesn't have the right clothes, etc.
  
• her clothes take up all the closets in the apartment, and yours are in a box in the basement, but you shouldn't be living together anyway, so you're a putz too.
  
• she is always on a diet, or says she is, but you suspect an eating disorder. Food is missing, or she spends a lot of time in the bathroom after a meal. This will only get worse and you'll be paying for hospitals and therapists.
  
• you've never seen her without make-up. Her bathroom looks like a cosmetic counter at Macy's. If she gets a zit, the world is ending.
  
• she speaks in psycho-babble. "You're never there for me!" "We need to talk" is a prelude to torture.
  
• Narcissis could be her middle name, or her favorite flower, but it's always all about her.
  
• she lies, particularly about her ex-, former jobs, sexual harrassment, what things cost, or even the time and temperature if it brings her the attention she craves.
  
• there are many signs that she is overusing alcohol or doing drugs, but you keep making excuses for her behavior, her tardiness, her missed days at work, her damaged relationships because you like feeling like a hero. If you couldn't rescue her, what would you do with your time?
  
• she can't say no to people, particularly her parents.
  
• she is so overcommitted on activities you have to both get out your PDAs to even have a coffee date.
  
• she won't consider your church--its too liturgical or too informal or too big or too small, or too Catholic or too Pentecostal, but she never attends her own.
  
• she doesn't have custody of her children, and misses her child support payments.
  
• she ridicules people who have disabilities, or who are different than she, or who are a different race or ethnic group.
  
• she's a potty mouth. She knows more bad words and dirty jokes than you do. It might be funny now, but think about your future children and the board of directors if you ever go that high.
  
• you are looking for someone to fix, or someone to fix you.

2148 Looking for a good movie

to check out from the library for the week-end, or maybe for Valentine's Day? Semicolon has a list of 105 with a brief review. I'm guessing she's seen every one of them, too.

17. Chariots of Fire (1981)
Chariots is absolutely the most inspiring movie about standing firm for what one believes that I've ever seen.
Eric Liddell: I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure

21. Driving Miss Daisy (1989)
This movie won the Academy Award for Best Picture in 1989, and Jessica Tandy won Best Actress. It's about the friendship between an elderly Southern Jewish lady and her black chauffer. Organizer Daughter says it's extremely boring, but I like old people and relationship movies.

25. Father of the Bride (1950)
Spencer Tracy makes a better father than Steve Martin, more twinkle-in-the-eye. And Elizabeth Taylor is beautiful as usual.

32. Gone with the Wind (1939)
Classic. "I'll think about that tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day." "I don't know nothing about birthin' no babies, Miz Scarlett." "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." You just have to get the accent right.

40.It Happened One Night (1934)
Clark Gable is a reporter in this romantic comedy about a run-away rich girl.

55. The Miracle Worker (1962)
Anne Bancroft plays Teacher Annie Sullivan, and a young Patty Duke plays Helen Keller. The scene in which Helen recognizes her first words at the water pump is classic-worth the whole movie.

Well, just look at the whole list. It's fun.

2147 Dianne's so relieved!

"Iraq war protester Cindy Sheehan announced Thursday that she would not run against U.S. Sen. Dianne Feinstein, sparing the Democratic incumbent a high-profile challenger in the June primary.

At a news conference in San Francisco, Sheehan sharply criticized Feinstein for voting to authorize President Bush to invade Iraq." (LAtimes.com)

Like she had a chance. Democrats are not stupid.

2146 Well Dressed Librarian

There aren't very many. And this one is taking a "sebatical" and may not be back! I don't link to him, but have always enjoyed his posts. He's funny, observant, endearingly gay, Jewish and extremely fashion conscious, but is he spelling-challenged? So I checked Google, and over 16,000 hits come up for "sebatical" instead of "sabbatical," which had over 17 million. It comes from the Hebrew word for rest, and the Sabbath is the seventh, or day of rest. Maybe he's not that observant?

2145 Wafting

". . .an odd bread-like, sweet, yeasty smell wafted through the room. Every student in the room involuntarily smiled wryly and said...mmmmm that’s the distillery." (Smithie, an AZ blogger living in KY). Wafting is a sweet old fashioned word that means "a slight or gentle movement of air" and often I associate it with smells, don't you? It is also used with sounds.

Wafting--as I move. I just got out of the shower and am ready for our Friday night date. I'm wearing black slacks and a red velour top with black, shiny spangles (it's Valentine's week-end, you know), and low black heels. And I'm wafting. I smell like a perfume factory, and haven't so much as sprayed a drop of cologne or perfume.

1) My bath soap is a green deodorant bar.

2) I also used a vanilla scented body wash--it smells lovely, but I think it undoes whatever the magic the soap did and it makes the shower very slippery.

3) My shampoo and moisturizer is Aveda which has a very distinctive smell.

4) I used a body lotion after the shower for dry skin (caused by the soap and hot water) and it is perfumed.

5) I brushed my teeth with Crest, minty flavor.

6) I applied an anti-perspirant, also scented.

7) My lingerie smells like a well-known laundry detergent under my elegant outfit.

8) I slathered Merle Norman moisturizer on my face and it is delicately scented.

9) I followed that with Merle Norman foundation (I'm very pale) which has a much stronger smell.

10) I brushed my cheeks lightly with some Merle Norman color, which I'm sure has a scent, but by now my nose was waving a white flag and my eyes were bleeding.

But I'm not wearing cologne. It would be overkill.

odors
fragrances
smells
cosmetics

2144 Long ago and far away

when I worked for the Ohio Department of Aging (1982) I learned that the AARP is really a front for insurance, not a lobby group for the retired. They aren't really representing anyone, 55+ or even liberals, although the organization does lean to the left on political and social issues.

There is an organization for conservative retirees, however, called Sixty Plus Association, and Pat Boone, yes, old love letters in the sand, is one of their representatives. I remember attending one of his shows at Lakeside--a few years before he did that black leather and jewelry routine, which I think he grew out of (or it was all a joke). His voice was unbelieveable.

60+ seems to be against the "Death Tax." "Make no mistake, repeal of the death tax is not, I repeat, not a tax cut for the “wealthiest of the wealthy” as Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) describes it, or as her husband called it, a “windfall for the wealthy.” Both Clintons know their position is a con job of the first order. Both know the “wealthiest of the wealthy” don’t pay this confiscatory tax. Either that or they’re both stupid." Abolish death tax

Yes, this is true. Whenever you hear liberals whining that the rich aren't paying their share, but they will if we just increase taxes (like Friedman talking about raising gasoline taxes to reduce driving, which would probably hurt the poor the most), they ignore that the very wealthy can hire legions of accountants to protect them with all the loopholes Congress writes into the tax law, loopholes none of the the rest of us can qualify for or afford accountants and lawyers to interpret.

For all I know, 60+ Association might be selling something just like AARP. But keep your eye on them. Afterall, do you want the federal government or your grandchildren to get the results of your labor? A bridge to nowhere in Alaska, or a little nest egg for their college?

2142 Do you have hair on your toes?

Well, you should if you've got a good blood supply. If you don't, you might have PAD, Peripheral Arterial Disease. "PAD is a problem with blood flow in the arteries. Arteries carry blood to the muscles and organs in your body. When you have diseased arteries, they become narrow or blocked. The most common cause of narrow or blocked arteries is the buildup of fatty deposits. This is called atherosclerosis. The most common complaint of people who have PAD is claudication."

"Claudication is pain in the calf or thigh muscle that occurs after you have walked a certain distance, such as a block or two. The pain stops after you rest for a while. Each time the pain occurs, it takes about the same amount of time for the pain to go away after you stop walking."

Not everyone who has PAD has symptoms. But look for hair on your toes.

There are two articles about PAD in the Feb. 1 issue of JAMA, "Does the clinical examination predict lower extremity peripheral arterial disease," and "Medical treatment of peripheral arterial disease." Many public libraries carry JAMA. And that's its real title, despite the constant misuse of its old title in all the media (Journal of the American Medical Association).

2142 If you disgrace yourself you can always write another book

"It was sad watching [former President] Jimmy Carter making a fool of himself at the funeral of Coretta Scott King." Larry Zin, reader, USAToday, 2-10-06.

2141 Ashes in the bedroom

A woman wrote Dear Abby (today's Columbus Dispatch) that her widower boyfriend keeps his wife's ashes in his bedroom (which she's obviously using, too). How did I miss that one in my blog about How Not to Marry a Jerk.

Although there's not much chance of marriage here, is there? This guy is such a limp, spineless noodle that he's letting his dead wife give her the message that they have no future together. Maybe he's looking for someone who is smarter?

Some women! Makes me embarrassed. Truly.

2140 Comparing disasters

Perhaps you saw the article in the USAToday (2-10-06) comparing the desire and speed for rebuilding after historic disasters, the Chicago fire (1871), The Galveston hurricane (1900), the San Francisco earthquake (1906), and Katrina (2005). Sometimes I talk back to the TV; sometimes I write the story under the headlines. For this one, I answered before I read it.

It's the government, stupid.

Government aid, dispensed with government incompetency first at the local (mayor Nagin), then state (governor Blanco), then federal level (FEMA), government bureaucracy and red tape at all levels (zillions of pages of laws, rules, regulations, guidelines, codicils, codes, zoning), floating in the muck of a city that should have never been built so low but propped up by government engineers and local levee boards, peopled by a citizenry held hostage through dependency on the government for housing and jobs and medical care, having all their initiative, skills and energy drained dry by the government.

Unintended consequences
Hurricane Katrina
Natural disasters
government policy failures

2139 Don't play with your food

Have you ever said that to your kids? Maybe you're setting a bad example trying to get a free breakfast? I have in front of me a handsome, slick insert from the newspaper that conjoins Holiday Inn, Visa, Home Depot, the lure of a gift card, a coupon, a voucher, four luscious breakfast entrees for "free" and a night in a hotel. And although I haven't figured this part out, the models in the ad would get the worst-dressed retro-1970s award. At least I think that's the last time I saw a guy wearing tight-fitting, brown stripe pants with a lime green floral shirt.

Here's the game plan. In order to get a free breakfast you have to

1) stay at a Holiday Inn--one that is participating in the game, and one that isn't a Holiday-Express

2) you have to book at least one standard room

3) which qualifies you for a coupon redeemable for breakfast (none of which look healthy to me) in the hotel's restaurant

4) but only in the amount of $20.00

5) and only if you've put the room on your VISA card (but that's a bit fuzzy in the wording)

6) and saved a voucher you get only at check-in

7) which is useable if you mail it and the hotel receipt and allow 4-6 weeks for delivery for a $10 gift card to be used at the Home Depot

8) which location must be participating in the bed and breakfast game

9) at which only one of you in that standard room in the non-Express Holiday Inn gets a coupon for breakfast, but the children eat free, if they are under 12 years old

10) and all of which is void where prohibited.

Ohio prisoners may have to do without my Snickerdoodles

Today I decided to bake cookies for the Kairos Ministry for prisoners at the Ross Correctional Institution. The guys going in from the church need 660 dozen cookies. I'll let that sink in. That's probably end-to-end from here to Cleveland in cookies. So I decided on snickerdoodles and found a recipe in my mother-in-law's 1950 Betty Crocker Cookbook. When I was finished mixing I noticed they needed to chill before baking, so I put them in a bowl, and I made a cherry pie for my husband while the dough chilled out.

Later I formed the little balls of dough, rolled them in a sugar/cinnamon mix and put them in the oven. I didn't think I was making them too big, but did only get 25 instead of 5 dozen, like the recipe said. Oh well.

After about 5 minutes I smelled something burning, so I opened the oven, and they were melting! And falling over the side of the cookie sheet, splatting on the bottom of the oven set at 400 degrees. It looked like a disaster of major proportions, so I left them in a few more minutes to firm up a bit and pulled them out, with minimal dough falling on the floor of the kitchen. By this time, I had one huge piece of cookie dough. I kept about 5, and dumped the rest in the trash. They actually taste wonderful, but I would eat every last one. (My husband eats sugar free cookies, and these weren't).

Rechecking the recipe I'll just say I think I didn't notice that last cup of flour. Or it was the ghost of my mother-in-law who really didn't like to cook.

2137 I'm not sure I've ever seen one

I took one of those "which sports car are you?" I was a Mazda RX-8--but the photo image was too wide for my space, and there was no way to narrow it, so I took it down.

"You're sporty, yet practical, and you have a style of your own. You like to have fun, and you like to bring friends along for the ride, but when it comes time for everyday chores, you're willing to do your part."

2136 Let's go to a carnival

I don't participate in any of the carnivals, but I do occasionally take a peek, because you can find all of a kind at one site and click and read. Carol, the Median Sib (her whole family blogs) mentioned the Carnival of Education. I'm pretty much out of that loop, but still like to check in on the teacher blogs. When my children were in school, I was a holy terror. Not only did I expect my kids to do their job, I thought the school should too!

Yesterday I had coffee with a friend who retired from teaching last year. Now she teaches every day as a substitute, because she says it's fun. She doesn't have to do the paper work, and can even be choosy about what classes she'll teach. But she still does have to look at them--studs in their noses, lips, eyebrows, tongues and died pink hair. All the research is in--students learn better in schools that require uniforms, and even same sex classrooms, but school administrations don't seem to have a backbone when it comes to improvements in education that by-pass learning theory to get there.

For some reason, yesterday was a school holiday so my friend didn't teach and was free to have coffee like a real retired person. We have a number of friends who are retired, but stay regularly employed in warmer climates as subs while living on their pensions in vacation communities. They've had no education courses, weren't teachers by profession and one probably only had one year of college.

2135 Doctors who become nurses

Drop this one in the "unintended consequences" category. Immigration to the United States for nurses is much simpler than it is for physicians. Consequently, since 2000, more than 3500 Filipino physicians have taken accelerated nursing courses and have left for nursing jobs abroad. More than 4000 physicians are now in nursing school, not just new physicians, but internists, surgeons, anesthesiologists, family practitioners, and subspecialists. Now, the U.S. recruits nurses from abroad, creating crises in those countries, and depresses wages here at home. Sometimes it seems the more laws you make to protect one labor group, the worse you make it for someone else. (Story from New England Journal of Medicine, v. 354:5;529.)

Brain drain
Filipino nurses
Unintended consequences

2134 Thank your fairy blog mother week

While reading Uisce this morning, I learned it was Thank your fairy blog mother week. Like a lot of holidays, it has gotten out of hand. It used to be one day, now it is a whole week, which allows those of us who clicked in late to participate.

My fairy blog mother is PJ, a very talented and pretty professional writer I met on Usenet. It's possible she considers me her out-of-weblink, rather-forget-you bundle of grief whose daddy was the article in the Wall Street Journal which rated five blogging hosts. She's liberal and I'm conservative, and she sends me you did good love pats if I write sweet, endearing memories, but she defintely doesn't like my political/social/cultural take on the day to day things that matter.

Things were getting mighty nasty in the Miscellaneouswritingville (MWville) neighborhood back in 2003 and 2004. Gangs of thugs patrolled the streets. A Brit particularly was harrassing me. I had to block his e-mail--still do. So I tried blogging where I'd have the control, but had a few hitches in my get-along when I started and e-mailed PJ for help. She graciously threw a few hints my way and I was off and running, or blogging. Now I have seven blogs, but this is the one that gets most of my attention.

2133 My public library

has one title (1964) on the Lutheran church, but has The Complete annotated Grateful Dead lyrics. I don't know how many dead heads there are in Upper Arlington, but there are several thousand Lutherans.

Lutherans
Grateful Dead
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Librarianship

Thirteen magazine subscriptions you’ll find in NORMA’s house for which we have to find shelf space and/or a disposal route, usually our local Friends of the Library book sale. This isn’t all of them, but these are either worth passing on for a second look by someone else, or they are the keepers. 1. Home--stuff. 2. Metropolitan Home--more stuff. 3. Architectural Digest--over the top decorating, houses and places you’ll never visit and people you probably wouldn‘t feel comfortable with. I save the Hollywood issues, the ones that show REAL glamour from the 1930s and 1940s. The March 2006 is fabulous. 4. Residential architect--often features a regional, residential architect who does fine work but you’ve never heard of him. 5. This Old House--Few magazines retain their original format and style over the years, but this one has stayed with its roots. Why change success? 6. Fine Homebuilding--really fine. A real pleasure to look at. 7. Preservation--sometimes the “what not to do” photos are the best. After Steve Jobs (Apple) got permission to tear down his 80 year old house, a judge retracted the order. . . 8. Renovation Style--I look at this if there’s nothing else around. 9. Wired--probably the best buy out there--$10 for 12 issues, and always fascinating. 10. American Artist--we’ve subscribed for years--it began as a “bread and butter” thank you gift. 11. American Artist Watercolor--a spin-off; if owning a magazine could make me a better painter, this one should do it. Breath taking. 12. Columbus Bar Briefs--this came with another publication which has recently gone to e-mail, so I probably won’t see it anymore, but it is very interesting. No advertising, and odd bits of law you’ve never heard of without all the legal jargon. 13. Mind (Scientific American)--a quarterly, probably not worth the cost. I didn’t resubscribe. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. Carol is first. 2. Nicole 3. Uisce 4. Killired 5. Matthew 6. Kelly 7. Lazy Daisy 8. Leesa, 9. Mar in Spain, 10.Nancy, 11. Janne, mother of 9, 12. Rough draft, 13. Courtney, 14. Colleen 15. Renee 16. Lindsey 17. Frog Legs 18. Jane 19. Joe Norman who loves musicals 20. Valbee 21. Ma 22. D. Visit my magazine blog to find out why I collect them.

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2131 It's no wonder Americans don't save money for retirement

The government makes it very difficult. My daughter called me yesterday about her plans for a Roth IRA for 2005 and 2006. She's read all the instructions three times and talked to her accountant, and still won't know until she has a professional do her taxes, whether she can do the entire $4,000. I picked up a tax preparation book at the library and leafed through to the IRA section. It was impossible to understand.

In 1995 the total pages of federal tax rules were 40,500; in 2004, 60,044.

In 2000 the number of IRS tax forms were 475; in 2004 they were 529.

In 1994 there were 16 loopholes for education and training; in 2004 that had risen to 28.

In 1995, 50% of taxpayers used paid tax preparers; in 2003, 62%.

In 1995 Americans spent 5.3 billion hours filling out tax forms; in 2004, 6.5 billion.

In 1995 there were 84 pages in the 1040 instruction book; in 2003 there were 131.

To complete the 1040, A,B, and D schedules in 1995, it required 21.2 hours; in 2003 it took 28.5. [figures from CATO Handbook on Policy, p. 120]

Roth IRA
Federal tax reform
Savings accounts

2130 The writing class assignment

This week for our writing group, our topic "tickler" is a memory evoked by a Norman Rockwell magazine cover or that of another famous illustrator. Those of you familiar only with today's run of the mill, same-face-of-the-day covers (Brad or Jen or Angelina or mix and match on five different covers), might wonder why a magazine cover would evoke a memory. Yet for the first 60-70 years of the 20th century artists competed to be on the cover of business, current events, fiction and general interest magazines, particularly, Collier's, Saturday Evening Post, Ladies' Home Journal, Redbook, Ford Times, Country Gentleman, Boys' Life, and Literary Digest, to name a few. And Norman Rockwell was one of the best and the most famous, and probably the richest, if commissions tell the tale.

However, by the time I was a young adult, snobbery had set in, and because of his success, his topics, or the building war in Asia which made us question and doubt anything pro-American it became popular to turn up your nose and sniff at Rockwell's populist and cliched paintings. If you look at his composition, his use of light and value, his humor, his pathos, his occasional caricature or pulling the viewer's nose, and his technique, he really is in a class with the painters of the Renaissance. (Look at one of his April Fool paintings in the 1940s; is it a joke or isn't it?)

Through no fault of his own, he became a target of art critics and art history teachers who couldn't agree on the value of realism, or whether art should tell a story, but were quite pious about their own favorites in modern and abstract art. Snooty, snooty, snooty. And a lot of us fell for it, even me. We learned to love (or at least hype) the ugly and profane. Middlebrow all the way. That was me. Afraid to say the emporer had no clothes.

This will be my topic for the class, never to see the light of day, of course.

Norman Rockwell
writing topics
American artists

2129 Has anyone heard from David?

Sometimes a blogger drops out of site and you wonder what has happened to him or her. David Durrant, the Heretical Librarian, is not exactly in that category, but his blog is quiet for now. One of the few conservative librarians in the blogosphere, he took off his sensible shoes and traded them in for army boots (well, National Guard, actually). He had a brief moment of fame in September when he had an article published in the Chronicle of Higher Education:

"Much has been made of the left's domination of college and university faculties. Yet in terms of political composition, the library profession makes your typical Ivy League faculty look like the Heritage Foundation. Had the 2004 election been confined to librarians, I firmly believe that the presidential race would not have been between Kerry and Bush, but between Kerry and Nader.

When David Brooks did some research into political donations by profession for his September 11, 2004, column in The New York Times, he found that for librarians "the ratio of Kerry to Bush donations was a whopping 223 to 1." By contrast, the corresponding ratio for academics was 11 to 1. As one of those rarest of beasts, a conservative librarian, I can attest firsthand to the stifling left-wing orthodoxy of modern American librarianship." The loneliness of a Conservative Librarian

In October he began his North Carolina National Guard training, and in January 2006 left for basic. He says he will blog again later--possibly April with some great stories we hope.

librarianship
David Brooks
political donations

2128 Judging a book by its cover

You've heard the old saying, "You can't judge a book by its cover." This book has a nice cover, interesting content, and it is very personal, like scrapbooking with a purpose. Sarah's Daughter tells about a type of "hope chest" for today's young woman, a 3 ring binder with articles, ideas and tips for the time her daughter leaves home. But Mom has made a nice cover for it. She wrote, "I printed some articles from the internet about purity, modesty, and godly girlhood. I was a bit disappointed, since there wasn’t much that was appropriate for a thirteen year old." Yes, mommy, the internet is not a good source for these topics--not even your public library will yield much. There are wonderful sources on the internet--the craft sites just amaze me, but its biggest money maker unfortunately is pornography. If just the Christians stopped using porn and its accouterments today, the industry would be in trouble tomorrow.

HT Mrs. Happy Housewife who says she's not desperate. Also at her site I read about Randi's on-line quilting class.

If you had a daughter about to leave the nest, what tip would you add? Or would she know it all by then?

2127 Coffee and cream to the extreme

Many years ago I'd order a scoop of vanilla ice cream with my coffee and I'd take a teaspoon or two of the ice cream and stir it into the coffee. That's actually how I started drinking coffee with cream, because before that I always drank it black. After awhile, it just didn't taste right black.

But this is a bit over the top, no pun intended.

2126 The Food Pantry

Today I volunteered at the Food Pantry, and frankly, I'm bushed. Almost too tired to blog. Almost. Standing, walking, stocking, and helping clients for five hours on concrete floors is sort of tiring--I don't feel old until I have to do something physical I don't usually do.

I haven't quite figured out the schedule, but I think our church takes responsibility for one week, staffs with volunteers, and then others fill in as needed. For instance, I was working with a lovely Baptist lady who lives in the area and just walked in and asked if she could volunteer. It's extremely well run by a former business executive, and is set up differently than when I volunteered a few times in the late 80s. There are several types of food--government surplus, grocery store surplus and past due date items, items purchased by the pantry in quantity, and donated food from local churches.

Everything that comes in has to be sorted, stored and shelved, or put in the coolers to keep them fresh. Fresh items vary. Today, for instance, everyone got 10 lbs. of potatoes and 5 lbs. of apples and as much bread as they wanted. At one point, volunteers from various churches who had picked up surplus and day-old items at bakeries around town arrived in their vans, so we all went outside with palettes and grocery carts and unloaded the vans. Then everything was repacked in boxes so they could be stored, with things that wouldn't keep well--birthday cakes, pecan and fruit pies, tortes, etc. going immediately to the shelves. When we had a lull, we'd sort and fold sacks, or break down boxes, or restock shelves. Sixty nine families were served at this location today.

2125 Ray Nagin vs. Pat Robertson

in the battle to say dumb things about God, who's winning? Here's a funny from The Sacred Sandwich

via Know Tea, whose site was just redone by SmockLady.

2124 Opening first class mail

"Leahy asked Gonzales if intelligence officers had the authority to open first-class mail, and Democratic Senator Dianne Feinstein of California asked if the Bush administration had other secret programs. Gonzales said he couldn't comment on hypothetical questions." Gonzales testimony

Today on Rush's show a caller mentioned that his 92 year old mother's job during WWII was opening first class mail. She brought down a 7 member German spy ring. Now, I can't verify this story--maybe he's talking through his baseball cap. But opening first class mail by government order 60 years ago did happen and may be the reason you're reading this today. Or maybe you're reading this because of more recent surveillance which stopped something.

2123 The Super Bowl Ads, My Take

I thought the Burger King commercial was the most disgusting, anti-woman piece of trash I've ever seen on TV, billboards or magazines combined. Whopperettes? Women dressed like 50s models in 50s type make-up being thrown into sandwish buns to create a Whopper? The leering old King? If this was a parody, a 1950s style lynching in a commercial would be a parody.

Ah, and the Rolling Stones. I left my computer and sat down in the living room to watch this one.
"Who are these guys?" my husband asked.
"Those are the Rolling Stones, they are about our age," I informed him, "See that black haired guy? I think he's deaf."
"They sound just awful, let's change the channel," he said.
"No, honey this stuff is history--Mick's been prancing like that at least 40 years--it's Super Bowl XL, you know."
"Why are they cheering this nonsense," he grumbled.
"Because it's a boomer thing, I think," I said.

How not to marry a jerk

There was a radio discussion of an upcoming book as I clicked through this morning that had a title something like this. So I thought I'd make up my own list. Mind you, I've never been married to a jerk, but I know a few people who have, and the signs were like billboards down that road to the church.

He might be a jerk and you should be cautious if

• either one of you were not legally, morally or emotionally free to date
  
• he bought your ring at a pawn shop
  
• he expects you to pay for the honeymoon
  
• he cares more about you than his kids
  
• you've met his parents and his dad is a jerk
  
• you've met his parents and he's a mama's boy
  
• he's had several jobs in the last year and it's always someone else's fault that it didn't work out
  
• he wants to move in with you before marriage, "to save money"
  
• he spends more time in front of the mirror than you do
  
• he has no hobbies--you're it
  
• he has a bad credit rating and a lot of credit card debt
  
• he doesn't like your kids and thinks they're spoiled and you spend too much time with them
  

He's definitely a jerk if

• he's never introduced you to his family and has told you nothing about his background
  
• he lies about missed appointments, income, friends, employment
  
• he exaggerates his importance, his skills, his talent, his abilities, his grades, his job reviews, the important people he knows
  
• he's unemployed and not looking or training for something else
  
• he's always borrowing money from you or his other friends, or is "just a little short this month" and expects you to pick up the tab
  
• he talks about the importance of his faith and values, but never goes to church with you, or invites you to his
  
• he suffers from road rage over minor infractions of other drivers
  
• you're embarrassed to play golf or tennis or cards with him because of his temper tantrums and poor sportsmanship
  
• he expects you to change your religion even though he isn't observant in his own
  

He's beyond jerk-dom and you need to run the other way and get some counseling if

• he's ever been physically abusive or takes pleasure in ridiculing you or making you the object of his "just kidding" stories
  
• he has a prison record or was in prison when you met (i.e., he was needy and you were the savior)
  
• he has a drug or alcohol problem he's not addressing with regular meetings and a support group
  
• he never sees his kids or is behind in his child support
  
• he has no friends, or won't introduce you to those he does have
  
• he's cruel to animals or abandons his pets
  

Do you have other suggestions to add to this list?

Women give signals too, but I'm not as familiar with those. Will take suggestions.

marriage advice

Monday Memories

Did I ever tell you about The day I had 80 people for brunch on a Spring day? This is my list of instructions I taped to the inside of a cabinet door, so I could check our progress as we went along. My daughter, son-in-law, and their sister-in-law were helping me. I found this list going through my files today and thought it made a nice "memory" blog. The menu was breakfast egg casserole, tender crisp fresh asparagus, rolls and muffins, mixed fresh fruit, and beverage. I used china and silver, but did use paper napkins. Food 2 baked breakfast casseroles (which my daughter prepared at her house) here by 10 a.m. One bacon, one no meat. Start 4 casseroles in the oven at 350 at 10 a.m. Two sausage, one bacon, one no meat. Start 2 casseroles at 11 a.m. Baking time is about one hour, and can sit awhile to firm up. This means the oven is on for 2 hours. If it gets too hot, open the kitchen window. One fruit mixture has strawberries. Use it first; large glass bowl. Other has apples. Keep water at near boiling temperature and cook asparagus as needed in large saucepan. Keep 2 vegetable bowls rotating for asparagus. There are 8 doz dinner rolls, 47 muffins, 16 sweet rolls, 10 pumpkin-cranberry, 19 coffee cake. Use the large glass plate and put only two types on a plate--have another plate prepared in kitchen, ready to go; do not put out a selection of all. Margarine and butter. Home-made jam. Beverage Coffee urn serves 30; ask Peggy to make. Decaf in maroon caraffe; make in 12 cup drip. I think the coffee will go fast, so we might want to make a 12 cup to keep ready while the 30 cup is re-brewing. Sweet 'n low, sugar, creamer, half n half, skim milk. Glass cups--15-20; we'll need to use styrofoam for backup (cups that match china are too difficult to use away from a table). Tea bags and cappuccino in kitchen with hot water next to dining room door. Orange juice on buffet in glass pitcher. Plastic cups for oj. Flatware and china 20 plates and flatware on table; when this is used, put out green pattern plates from kitchen counter. Meanwhile (son-in-law) collect used plates, scrape and wash and replace on table with clean flatware. Napkins inside cabinet. Kitchen Keep south counter for stacking clean dishes. Wash left to right with space immediately left of sink for dirty dishes. Leave north counter clear for fruit and bread preparation. Use dishwasher top next to stove for casseroles and asparagus preparation. Keep trash container under sink. Dirty pans go to laundry room--wash later. All food prep and serving in kitchen; carry to dining room Seating By 11:30 it should be warm enough to be sitting on the patio. 2 tables, 12 chairs. 3 director's chairs with snack table on driveway side for smokers. 4 chairs in den. 9-10 in office. 11 in living room. If looking for a place to sit, can also use my office, or the guest room upstairs. Hang coats in front closet. Addendum, Feb. 2006: It was a fabulous day; everything went as planned; everyone had a great time and plenty to eat. And the hostess had a good time. If it had rained. . .there would be a different blog here. Links to other Monday Memories (If you participate, leave your link in the comments and I'll post it below) 1. Joan, 2. Running2K, 3. Kimmy and Jacob, 4. Ladybug

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2120 If we were as touchy as Muslims

would we be burning down buildings over the "Beauty Buyable?"



From the Amazon reviewer: This book has not even been released yet and has already sold hundreds of copies. If you haven't heard, it will be published with fifty free samples and coupons including many prestige products. The samples and book will be packaged in a box. Yes ladies, a box filled with products and discounts that you can only get with the book!

"Free" and "coupon" are the magic words. Yesiree, folks, these companies exist to give their products away. The original coupon was a wooden nickle. Now they look like credit cards, and we call them loyalty cards.

According to Galley Cat, the Buyable contains masstige brands--mass market + presige. This word first appeared around 1996. ". . . masstige brands have particular appeal to urban consumers, who are always striving to be trendy but aren't above a bargain. Target was one of the first to push masstige with its introduction of Mossimo and Michael Graves products." Word Spy.

2119 Super Bowl Hype

Friday's USAToday had a bonus sports section E as well as it's regular sports section C, and a front page story all on Super Bowl XL. But it was also covered in the Money section B. And that's where the Super Bowl stories should always be, on the Money page. I read that the ads were running $2.5 million for 30 seconds. I think I saw that Dove was running its real women have curves ad--for guys drinking beer and shouting at the TV?

So don't ever tell me that what kids see on TV or movies or computer games doesn't matter or control their brains. The advertisers know better or they wouldn't be spending this kind of money on adults. Why don't parents know this?

2118 Sometimes it just smells like death

"When I admit a new patient from the ER who reeks of cigarette smoke,. . . I watch his oxygen requirements closely and keep cancer in my differential diagnosis no matter what the reasons for his presentation." "Becoming a physician: the physical exam and the sense of smell," A. Bomback, NEJM, v.354:4;327

"Among U.S. cigarette smokers, African Americans and Native Hawaiians are more susceptible to lung cancer than whites, Japanese Americans, and Latinos." "Ethnic and racial differences in the smoking-related risk of lung cancer," NEJM, v.354:4;333.

It appeared to me that the authors of this study really struggled to find a socioeconomic reason for the discrepancy between ethnic groups for lung cancer. But the findings were not explained by diet, occupation or socioeconomic status. And after 30 cigarettes a day, it was a level graveyard anyway.

My son is on a new plan to give up, or at least cut back on, the cigarettes. It's a killer of a habit, and he started at 14.

2117 Imagine if you could create the church you wanted, any way you wanted.

Put together a worship service exactly the way YOU want: hymns, no hymns, drums, no drums. Are you from Wisconsin, start Polka Mass! Start a building campaign, ask for donations. Relax. It's just a game. Available from e-church. It is a parody--I hope.
HT Pastor Petersen.

2116 A faith-based initiative?

First the Democrats forget they were the ones who first sounded the alarm about WMD before Dubya became President. Now they are having trouble remembering they were briefed about the domestic intelligence program. But I think Cheney got in the best line.

"Rep. Jane Harman, Mr. [Jay] Rockefeller's House counterpart [Rockefeller was briefed on the domestic surveillance program], has opined that the administration broke the law by failing to brief every member of the intelligence committees. Says Mr. Cheney, "If we had done that since the beginning of the program back in '01--I ran the numbers yesterday--if we did the full House and Senate committees, as well as the elected leadership, we'd have had to read 70 people into this program" instead of eight or nine. Expecting that many congressmen to keep a secret is a faith-based initiative." James Taranto

2115 Souper Bowl Sunday

Many places are collecting cans of soup for food pantries tomorrow. I haven't been to the supermarket in awhile, so I had to go through my own pantry and pick out the soup items, and tossed in some instant mac/cheese, which I think I bought for this purpose, since I don't use it.

I read someplace that instant macaroni and cheese was one of the three liberating inventions for women in the last 150 years. That's silly. Everyone knows it was panty hose.

If you clean out the pantry, you'll have a good excuse to make home made soup, which is probably better for you.

Baked potato soup is very hearty--you can lighten it by using less cheese and bacon and low fat sour cream.

2114 Blog Guru

I took a test at Chatterbean about blogging and came out a "Blog Guru." Just ask me anything. Don't know if there is a higher category. But I do have seven blogs.

"Blogs are nothing new to you – you've weathered your share of blogstorms and maybe even started a couple yourself. You may remember reading "weblogs" in 1997, when Jorn Barger started "logging the web" in Robot Wisdom. Since then, the "blogosphere," the total of blog-related websites, has exploded. As a blog guru, you've probably encountered blog novelties out such as the milblog, a soldier's military chronicle. "Dark blogs" are no mystery to you either – you might even be a member of these hidden, invitation-only websites."

bloggers
Internet quizes

2113 To the bloggers at Philippi

Whatever is true

Whatever is noble

Whatever is right

Whatever is pure

Whatever is lovely

Whatever is admirable

Blog about those things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Paul

Philippians
Paul's Epistles
How to blog

2112 New Year's Resolutions Redux

After the hustle and bustle of Thursday Thirteen I try to go back and look at some of the writers, check out their bio and their earlier entries. Joe mentioned his New Year's resolutions since he just started blogging in December 2005. He's a 41 year old divorced father with musical ability who has returned to college to become a teacher. He wrote:

Joe: "My resolution is to be a better christian, a better person, and a better father than I was the day before."

I rarely make resolutions or set goals since I am a problem solver by nature. We problem solvers get physically ill when some chipper, pie-in-the-sky supervisor says, "Let's set some goals for this project," because we believe she already knows exactly where she wants to end up and the task force, committee, or volunteers are there for window dressing. So I left this comment at Joe's blog.

Norma: "In our annual report at Ohio State University Libraries we always had to include goals for the next year and cite how we did on last year's goals.

My boss told me something I've never forgotten (I'm not a goal setter by nature, but this was required.) Always make them measurable and achieveable, so you'll look good next year.

"I will play a board game once a week and attend a sporting event twice a month with my son to be a better father (I'm assuming these are activities he would like)," might give you something to work with. "Better" is a bit nebulous and subjective.

At Judgement, there are no "better Christians." There are only sheep and goats. No "better sheep" or "not so great goats." It's a very clear division. You might say, "I will increase my quiet time by 5 minutes daily," or something like that to grow in the faith. It's measurable, and if you tell a friend, or your son, it's accountable.

And to be a better person? Well, here you have some great choices. "Every Tuesday on the way to work I will let one very surprised driver into traffic ahead of me." Measurable--when you get to Dec. 2006. You could have 40 or even 50 successes to feel good about.

Joe never asked me for my opinion on his New Year's Resolutions, but hey, if you leave your comments open, I just might say something.

New Year's Resolutions
Thursday Thirteen
Bloggers' comments
Goals

2111 Cindy Sheehan's T-shirt

would get her removed from Columbus bars, too. I noticed an article in yesterday's Columbus Dispatch about the dress code for the bars in the arena district (I think this is where they play hockey near the site of the old Ohio Penitentiary). It may vary depending on the bar/restaurant, but here's the list.

Sports jerseys are allowed only if the team is playing that day, otherwise, you can't wear your team's shirt.

Ball caps must face foreward.

No stocking caps or flat brim hats,.

No sleeveless and plain white T-shirts.

No bandanas.

No selective logos (no idea, don't ask).

No wristbands.

Chain necklaces must be tucked in.

No excessively baggy clothing.

No excessively baggy jeans.

No Timberland brand boots (I have no idea, don't ask).

And obviously, some people are crying discrimination. The dress code isn't this tough at our church. Hmmmm. We have no dress code for church, unfortunately.

Last night as we left the Irish Pub in Grandview (not it's actual name, but I'm not going back so it doesn't matter), I noticed a gal sitting at the bar (right at the front door) in tight jeans with a grand view of her butt crack. But I think she knew that. She could have used an oversized T-shirt. Fortunately, we'd already eaten.

2110 Music hath charms

and noise hath harms. If a blog blasts hip hop or rap or even loud Frank Sinatra when I click in, I'm outta there faster than you can say spam blocker. I no longer even look for the tiny script that says, "turns me off."

When I enter a sanctuary and the worship music is vibrating the floor and changing my heart rate, I exit faster than a serious sinner running up the aisle at a camp meeting. When I see people with ear buds dangling and tethered to a torture instrument for ears, I'm reminded I need to do some serious investing in hearing aids.

I heard today on the radio that 350,000,000 downloads of music have pretty much convinced some record stores to close. To my knowledge, this is one industry segment collapse that isn't being blamed on George Bush. A lot of those downloads are sitting on i-Pods where they communicate to the delicate ear parts like a buzz saw or a jet engine.

"There are two ways that noise exposure leads to hearing damage. Brief exposures to extremely loud sounds, like gunfire, can cause permanent damage. But consistent exposure to even moderate-level loud sounds wears out the hair cells in the inner ear, which are responsible for acute hearing abilities. When these cells are damaged by noise exposure -- like a loud concert -- they typically recover after two days of rest. With repeated exposure to loud sounds, however, the hair cells' ability to recover weakens. Eventually the hair cells die, leading to permanent hearing loss."
WSJ Jan. 10, 2006


hearing loss
i-Pods
noise

2109 On the way to Yes

Yesterday I wrote a blog about How to say No, and I didn't want to leave you with the impression I never say Yes to anything. So here's a few things I've said yes to this past week. I probably could have made a Thursday Thirteen out of affirmatives, but I liked the Prayer Job Jar better.

1. Yes to being communion servers this Sunday.
2. Yes to taking our neighbor's turn at mail delivery (for church).
3. Yes to three friends making an outing to an art show.
4. Yes to lunch with friends in Springfield, OH.
5. Yes to dinner out with two couples.
6. Yes to joining a couples group from church which meets twice a month.
7. Yes to typing a report and sending it for my husband for his volunteer activity at Lakeside.
8. Yes to joining an ad hoc writing group that meets twice a month.
9. Yes to finding a new dentist to replace the one who won't listen to me (OK, this is cheating, but it is a Yes to me). It's like trying to find a new plumber or hairdresser.
10. Yes to a walk in the park with my husband on a nice day.

2108 Observation at an art show

Last night I noticed a couple at an art opening. She was of an age and disability that she was probably a thalidomide baby, and he had some severe birth defects that were probably genetic requiring alterations in his clothing and life style, but they weren't interfering with his life. They had managed the trip down town at night in the rain, just like the rest of us, manuevering with a special van and wheelchair access. After all, who is more handicapped, those who never notice or enjoy art, or those who have to struggle a bit for access to it?

Some people, liberal thinkers in other areas such as the death penalty for serial murderers or the protection of the habitat of an endangered wild animal or insect, believe that if a child's life potential is limited or his parents are dull, poor or dark skinned then that child's life can be taken from him. For the good of all, of course, but especially for his own good. "Liberals love fetuses to death" could be their bumper sticker.

Others in that liberal group, believe the reason for taking the child's life matters not at all. It's absolutely none of our business. We may have even been rubbing shoulders at the art show. It's not even up for discussion. Only the wishes of the woman (some call her "mother") providing his natural habitat, you might say, are valued. Better the little one should be a bird, rat or worm.

"In every child who is born conceived under no matter what circumstances and of no matter what parents, the potentiality of the human race is born again, and in him, too, once more, and each of us, our terrific responsibility toward human life: toward the utmost idea of goodness, of the horror of terrorism, and of God." James Agee, Let Us Now Praise Famous Men

Thirteen Things about NORMA'S Prayer Job Jar 1. The jar is real, physical, clear glass and has a lid. 2. Originally the jar held bubble bath, had a pink ribbon around the lid, and was most likely a birthday gift when I was a teen. 3. When my children were small, this jar was our cookie jar. 4. It sits on the kitchen table, catching the sun’s rays (or the Son’s). 5. We pray one or two items from the jar each evening before dinner. Recently we’ve added Stephen Harper, Canada’s new PM, because we think he has a really big job, being a Conservative in such a liberal country. 6. Most often the prayer request is actually someone looking for a job, i.e., employment or career, so it really is a “prayer job jar.” 7. Sometimes the prayer is about God’s job--to bring someone to saving faith. 8. Sometimes the prayer is general, sometimes specific--it’s every Christian’s job to pray even if we don’t understand how or why. In fact, I think it is a command. 9. Although I haven’t kept a record, most job (career) prayers have been answered to the satisfaction of the job seeker. 10. Marriage solutions are another kettle of fish and loaves. A personality transplant? A memory freeze? Get that other woman a job transfer to Alaska? Maybe we should just cut to the chase and ask God for a miracle instead of a reconciliation or resolution? 11. Because of our age and the ages of our friends and family, health issues are frequently in the prayer job jar. This usually has to be a partnership between God and the unhealthy--it’s asking a lot of God to heal if a cancer or COPD patient won’t give up smoking or an arthritic or diabetic won’t lose weight. I mean, God does allow some free will here, and bad habits he may leave up to the person while he attends to someone a bit more willing to change. 12. The prayer job jar has made our prayer time much more interesting and meaningful for us, and probably for God, who I imagine gets a little bored with the rote stuff. . . "We thank you Lord for Jesus Christ/ and for the blood he shed/ we thank you for his risen life/ and for our daily bread." 13. Here’s a photo of the jar, cropped from another picture. Looks like just one or two pieces of paper, but I think it is a list. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. D. Challener 2. KDubs 3. Joan 4. Lazy Daisy 5. Uisce 6. Mar 7. Courtney 8. Jane 9. Colleen 10. Yellow Rose 11. Karen 12. Kelly 13. D. 14. Leslie 15. Killired 16. Nancy 17. Jen 18. Better safe 19. Stacie 20. Renee 21. Susie 22. Joe Norman 23. Barbara 24. MamaB 25. Emily 26. JK 27. Kimmy and Jacob

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2106 In the past three years

2,245 Americans have died for Iraqi freedom (Cindy Sheehan's t-shirt). During the same time period, there have been 3,573 unintentional deaths from carbon monoxide poisoning, and 7,155 suicides from CO poisoning for no cause or purpose whatsoever. (JAMA 295:4;398)

2105 How to say No

Now that I have your attention, here's a caveat. I never had to learn this--I was born with an over-developed ability to say "No." I could learn a little "Yes, please," or "Certainly, I'll get right on that." However, I have read a lot of blogs and served on a lot of committees and know how stressed out, tired, and cranky people (usually women) are when they've said Yes too many times. Life isn't fun then, but they don't know how to stop the music and get off the merry go-round. So here are my observations and suggestions:

1. You can't say NO because being over-committed makes you feel needed.

2. You can't say NO because being over-committed makes you feel important.

3. You can't say NO because being over-committed makes you feel self-righteous.

I'm not Dr. Sanity, but even I know you'll need to find something else to take up the slack if you just start with saying NO to everything and everyone. It could mess up your whole equilibrium. So, don't try this all at once.

4. Saying NO makes you feel unsafe.

5. Saying NO makes you feel unloved.

6. Saying NO makes you fear being left out.

Perhaps saying NO brings some flash backs of Mommy or Daddy saying "Don't you dare talk back to me, young lady," or memories of your junior high clique dressed in full blown bullying gear and you were afraid to say NO to the group for fear they'd turn on you next.

First, practice in front of a full length mirror. Smile at your reflection, find a relaxed stance, and say, "No." Decide what to do with your hands so you don't look threatening. After a little practice, move on to the word NO followed by a truthful clause, such as "No, I won't be able to car pool next Tuesday because. . ." Don't equivocate! Don't be passive-aggressive. Make your NO mean just that. Above all, be honest. (Unless the reason is her kids are brats, then come up with a little fib.) Don't lead that person on or dawdle with long drawn out excuses. She's busy too and needs to move on to the next sucker person on her list.

After a few days of saying NO to the mirror, (hear it, see it, say it) we move on to "do it." (Those of you with LD experience will recognize the mantra.) Find a compatible friend, one who needs no favors, to role play with you. Give her a script of the most common requests you fall for (the kids need you, the school needs you, your parents need you, the poor need you, you are my last hope, etc.). Have her practice looking horrified, angry, hurt or disappointed at your response. Have her whine, beg and plead.

And get used to it, because you're on your way, babe. Bookmark this blog and return when you're feeling weak.

How to say NO

2104 Using a numerical code to oppose the war

Sam is a commenter over at Neo-Neocon, and he left a suggestion that protestors use a numerical code to identify themselves to others.

List of Anti-War Categories:
1. People who oppose the Iraq war specifically, on moral grounds.
2. People who oppose the Iraq war specifically, on legal grounds.
3. People who oppose the Iraq war specifically, on religious grounds.
4. People who oppose the Iraq war specifically, on political grounds.
5. People who oppose the Iraq war specifically, on military grounds.
6. People who oppose the Iraq war specifically, because it was Bush's idea.
7. People who oppose the Iraq war specifically, because it distracts us from the real War on Terror.
8. People who oppose the Iraq war specifically, because it distracts us from saving the environment, feeding the poor, rescuing hurricane victims, fixing Social Security, etc.
9. People who oppose the Iraq war specifically, on a combination of the previous grounds.
10. People who oppose any war that the Republicans are involved in because of something or other to do with Big Oil or the Military Industrial Complex.
11. People who oppose any war the United States is involved in on any of the previous grounds.
12. People who oppose any war the United States is involved in because the United States is Bad.
13. People who oppose any war the United States is involve in because the United States is Good.
14. People who oppose any war white people are involved in because Western Civilization is Bad.
15. People who oppose any war anyone is involved in because War Doesn't Solve Anything.
16. People who oppose any sort of definite move on anyone's part because actions have unpredictable consequences and it's safer to have endless discussions about the nature of problems rather than taking actual steps to solve them.
17. Wussies.

So you could be a 1, 3, and 13 and use it in a greeting or a closing. Or a 6, 10, and 12. Saves a lot of time and lengthy introductions. Might even get you a date for Friday night.

2103 ALA sells "radical, militant" buttons

What a surprise! What a stretch! About 90% of them are, so what's new? Maybe they could make Cindy Sheehan an honorary librarian. Or that phony balony white professor posing as an Indian. Or Maureen Dowdy.

"ALA’s Office for Intellectual Freedom will sell the buttons for $2.00 (1-10 buttons); $1.50 (11-50 buttons); and $1.25 (51 or more). All proceeds support the programs of the office [to bring down the Patriot Act and to not support Cuban librarians in their fight for freedom]."

Just can't tell you how happy I am that I never joined the American Library Association. (I was a member of the Medical Library Association.) Want to know how bad things are for librarians? Take a look at the scale for professional dues. What other profession that requires a master's degree has salaries this low?

"The salary threshold for a lower dues rate also would be increased from $20,000 to $25,000. If approved by members, the changes would go into effect in September 2006. ALA also will provide an option for installment payments by credit card."

That's because ALA minds everyone's business but its own. I'd be embarrassed to have this on the website, and do a mailing instead.

2102 Tickled Pink

Long before there was excitement about gay cowboys, there was gay TV. I watched a production of Nick at Nite last night called "Tickled Pink," in which gay writers, producers, comedians and actors chortled and snickered over all the gay sub-text in the shows they'd been in that most of the time went right over the heads of straight people. And oh how the gay guys loved their divas--Mary Tyler Moore, Maud, Lucille Ball, Buffy the Vampire, Wonder Woman, etc. Any woman who stood up to the established norm was their heroine. It's probably not an accident that it is being shown this week. They were quite proud that 30-40 years ago, gays were being written into shows, and that all the straight people involved in the productions knew the lavender story board, but the audience was ignorant.

One of the unintended consequences of everyone coming out of the closet is that a whole vein of humor will have been mined out of existence.

2101 A fine speech

He's no Reagan, but he isn't as long winded as Clinton, a lot prettier to watch than Carter, and much more inspiring than his dad. It was a fine speech. "Hindsight alone is not wisdom," Bush said. "And second-guessing is not a strategy."

"President Bush's 2006 State of the Union address was a familiar stew: a dash of Reaganesque optimism, a pinch of Clintonian small-bore initiatives, a heaping teaspoon of Truman-like tough talk, and a generous portion of warmed-up leftovers from previous policy speeches. But as familiar as the ingredients of the President's Jan. 31 oration were to viewers, they formed a tasty recipe for American business." Business Week

"Hampered by huge budget deficits and an unpopular war, President Bush will seek to take charge of the election-year agenda Tuesday by declaring America must break its dependence on Mideast oil and calling for training 70,000 math and science teachers to improve the nation's competitiveness." Forbes

Since nothing was done to fix Social Secuity, last year's poster child, I won't hold my breath on the energy theme.

2100 No matter what else Bush does

this will be his longest lasting legacy. Roberts and Alito.

"WASHINGTON (AP) - Samuel Anthony Alito Jr. was sworn in as the nation's 110th Supreme Court justice on Tuesday after being confirmed by the Senate in one of the most partisan victories in modern history.

Alito was sworn in by Chief Justice John Roberts in a private ceremony at the Supreme Court building across from the Capitol at about 12:40 p.m. EST, court officials said."

2099 Case 2-2006 is dumb as a rock and supporting an entire industry with our tax money

Sipping my Starbucks today, I opened the NEJM, Jan. 19 issue to p. 284, "A 31-year-old, HIV-positive man with rectal pain" is the title of the case. Reading a bit further. He smokes a pack of cigarettes a day, regularly uses marijuana and meth. He is unemployed. (What a surprise!)

He has AIDS, rectal discharge, pain when defecating and blood in his stool, pelvic pain, nausea, and weakness. It's the pain, not the AIDS that has sent him to the doctor this time. He has regular anal intercourse without condoms with his "usual partner" who also is HIV positive, and he has other partners.

He was diagnosed 12 years ago (as a teen-ager) and has had sporadic care over 10 years including zidovudine, lamivudine, nelfinavir, and ritonavir-lopinavir, but has been inconsistent. A year ago he was sick and hospitalized with some things too long to spell or pronounce, but I know they are bad, and received cephalexin, clarithromycin and ethambutol.

After discharge from the hospital he received didanosine, stavudine, and efavirenz, after which he developed Kaposi's sarcoma, oral thrush, rectal herpes simplex and anal condylomas. Then he was treated with acyclovir, fluconazole, and dapsone.

For the current problem, he got ceftriaxone and azithromycin. Now he is diagnosed with proctitis--a first for him. The list is narrowed to gonorrhea, herpes simplex, chlamydia and syphilis--all common among men who have sex with men--but lab tests showed he didn't have those (small miracles).

So there are more tests, as his symptoms ease and then return--probably because he keeps reinfecting himself with more anal sex. The diagnosis section of the article says "he should be screened for sexually transmitted diseases, . . . and a thorough contact investigation should be initiated."

He is referred for a sigmoidoscopy and rectal biopsy, and it is determined he has lymphogranuloma venereum proctitis. (Never heard of if, but so far I know it is very expensive and self induced.) I won't even describe what the author says will happen if this condition goes untreated, but apparently the patient shares many of the clinical and epidemiologic features of other men in an outbreak that appears to be centered in the Netherlands and has spread to Western Europe, United Kingdom and the U.S. Now he's treated with doxycycline, which resolved his symptoms.

Now his "partner" is feeling poorly with the same symptoms.

My mind is going cha-ching, cha-ching for Medicaid and the drug companies. A marriage between the pharmaceuticals and gay men with the state governments the attendants. There are about 100 pages of text in this journal, and 55 pages of advertising by pharmaceutical companies.

The internet is listed as one of the means to spread these diseases that case 2-2006 has, as men find sexual partners across great geographic distance. Sort of gives a new meaning to computer virus, doesn't it?

2098 Another tip for right brained offices, dens and studios

It's OK to pile rather than file! Oh, thank the Lord! That's chapter 6 of Organizing from the right side of the brain, by Lee Silber. Reading further. Oh, oh. There's a codicil. "As long as you can find what you need when you need it." Hmmm.

What about when it's clean and you can't find it? Remember that extensive housecleaning and studio reorganizing I wrote about in December? Forgotten it already? Here and here. The other day my husband said, "I'm out of burnt umber. Have you got any?" I was pretty sure I didn't have any because it's not on my palette, but never mind, I couldn't find my watercolor tubes anyway. Everything is clean and tidy, but something better turn up quick, or I'll have to make a run to Dick Blick's soon.

2097 Maybe liberal is the key word here

Jane Galt is debating someone in cyberspace about the statistics used to show the success of education, contraception availability and cost in reducing abortions. Their data sources are different. She says:

"The places with the best contraception access, the most liberal sexual mores, and the most liberal sex ed, are also the places with the most abortions. These are the states with more than 23 abortions per 1,000 women of childbearing age, which is the national mean.

California
Connecticut
District of Columbia
Florida
Hawaii
Illinois
Maryland
Massachussetts
Nevada
New Jersey
New York
Rhode Island

All have outstanding liberal governments, dense populations, and high levels of spending on public health, as well as lots of Planned Parenthood clinics."

So we pretty much know what doesn't reduce abortion, don't we? More sex. Whether you want to accept it, more education, more access to contraception and more clinics seem to encourage more promiscuity resulting in more pregnancies followed by more abortions. How about looking at what does work? Neither debater seems to do a good job at that. Reading through it, I must say it sounds a bit cold and detached.

New cookbooks

One of my Thursday Thirteens is going to be about my favorite cookbooks, whether or not I use them. It will really be a memory blog. For instance, my mother-in-law died in 1998 and no one seemed interested in her cookbook, Betty Crocker (1950), so I got it. She had certain meals that were just terrific, but about the time I entered the family her alcoholism was slowly taking her out of the kitchen except for a wonderful tossed salad and garlic rolls to go with the steaks her husband fixed on the grill. But since my own mother had NEVER made anything like that meal, I thought it was a banquet. While collecting my thoughts for the TT, I took it off the shelf and remembered why I wanted it. It wasn't the recipes (most of which would now be called comfort food), it was her handwritten notes. She had the loveliest handwriting. I also found an index card with a recipe from my husband's grandmother, who had Parkinson's Disease, and you can see it in her tenacious handwriting.

Saturday I received a huge box of cookbooks, not exactly a gift, but more as a keeper of the flame from someone else's collection--a tiny part of her collection. She is now in a nursing home and will never return to her home. About 2/3 of these are Martha Stewart titles--hard cover and heavy duty, serious kitchen labor. This might be just what I need to try some new recipes I thought, anticipating that I might just start with one new one a week. It wouldn't be like that Julie blogger who turned her blogs into a marketable book as she cooked her way through Julia Child (Julie and Julia : 365 Days, 524 Recipes, 1 Tiny Apartment Kitchen).

So I open what looks like the easiest one: "Martha Stewart's Healthy Quick Cook" (1997). It's January so I turn to Winter. Pot-au-Feu? Rutabaga? Monkfish? Fennel Carpaccio? Enlightened Creme Fraiche? Pappardelle?

Back to my mother-in-law's torn and stained pages, quickly.