Poetry Thursday #9
This week for Poetry Thursday, we are invited to write about something beautiful without using its name. This feels like it is still in draft stage--changing right up through Wednesday night.
In my unformed thoughts,
in my wildest dreams,
when this mattered
(and it doesn't so much now),
I never expected we’d meet.
You were so distant and aloof,
a prisoner of your past,
corrupt and sinful
(yet charming and alluring),
Did I even want us to meet?
Now that I’ve seen you,
heard your velvet voice,
minor and sad
(but dark eyed and lovely),
I know I’ll never forget us.
Are we allowed to leave a hint? (Очи страстные и прекрасные)
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13 comments:
Hi Norma,
I don't have a clue. But seeing your hint in Russian? makes me think of all sorts of things. Hmmmmm.
I'll guess vodka. :)
I'm flummoxed but my sister speaks Russian so she may be able to help. Lovely poem, 'velvet voice, minor and sad....'
Norma,
Beautifully reminiscent, perhaps a song? A russian folk song?
regardless, nicely done.
rel
I am unable to guess. Is it a man?
:D.
gautami
Parallel Streams
Hmmm... intriguing- a prisoner of your past...
I know I wanted to leave a hint, too! When I read my poem, I can clearly see what I was talking about but I doubt if anyone else will!
Norma,
This is strange...could we have met the same man? ;) I had a huge crush on my Russian college professor and my poem today is bits and pieces of our conversations spliced together. Very interesting.
This is a great poem. So teasing and cryptic. I can't imagine what this is, but I don't sense a person.
What a wonderful prompt this has been.
Rose
xo
Hi Norma
Beautiful Poem. I laughed when I read your question about the hint. Then the comments are talking about Russian and I was just trying to read it upside down or backwards. Guess I'm not too big on foreign languages.
corrupt and sinful
(yet charming and alluring)
That in itself is alluring!
Fascinating. (Wish I could read Russian....)
Are you ever going to tell us? I don't think it is a person. The lines "when this mattered
(and it doesn't so much now),
I never expected we’d meet." make me think it is something about aging perhaps? But the last line "I'll never forget US" confuses me. Whatever it is, the phrasing and word choices are lovely. I may have to try Poetry Thursday.
OK Joan--since you're not a member yet, and asked so nicely, I'll tell you but all the other PT poets have to close their eyes.
This refers to meeting Russia last summer. I studied the language and culture in college but because of the Iron Curtain never expected to actually go there. In fact, it was so beyond the realm of imagining, I didn't even dream of going someday, and eventually didn't care because I'd moved on to a different career. And it was a beautiful country, but disturbing, with many of the old problems not just from the Communist era, but some going back to Tsarist times and now organized crime. Thus the reference to the past, corruption, sin, and yet those beautiful dark eyes (from a folk song, and you hear it constantly) in a very minor, dirge-like key. прекрасные
is the plural form of beautiful, modifying "eyes." Over on the left I have a link to our Russia Tour.
Norma: so interesting and mysterious - not because I "don't know what it is about" but because the relationship to the object or person or beloved is mysterious. I love the russian hint BTW, that made me laugh.
But, what I get out of it is that there is a beloved, and it is porbably an art work or artist of some kind (at first I thought it must be Lady Day or some other important jazz singer), but definitely a beloved, that has moved the speaker so much and forced so much inner reflection and quite possibly change, it makes you wonder if you would have been better off without it. Sort of like therapy: maybe if you never started looking, you wouldn't feel the need to be even better. It's a very nice poem!
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