Saturday, September 23, 2017

My adoption story, by guest blogger

I’ve known the guest blogger most of her life and used to sit behind her in church when she was an adorable, wiggly little girl, a little younger than my kids.  She was adopted as an infant and later was joined by two brothers.  She located her birth mother as an adult.


I had two burning reasons on why I wanted to find my birth mother:

1. Thank her...
2. Discover my heritage

Now, in my case, when I found out who she was, I made sure to research that she didn't have a family, and wasn't married, as I didn't want to upset the apple cart, so to speak. Once it became known that she was single, living with my birth Aunt, and never had any other kids, I made the call to thank her. This is the very reason of why I do not kick my birth father's nest; he does have children, a few years older than me, and he is still married to the woman he took a brief "break" (wink, wink) from, to "meet" with my birth mother, to create me, I see no need to upset the apple cart there.  Anyhoo, back to my birth mother...

At first, I was told that I had the wrong number, knowing I didn't, but I accepted that and thanked my birth Aunt profusely for taking my call, and apologized profusely for my error (again, even knowing I hadn't made an error, because it was the respectful thing to do).
I hung up the phone, and tried to calm the trembles that had taken over my body, and thought, "Well, at least I have a name and can research my heritage from that," and then the phone rang.  I answered it, a deep, raspy voice, similar to mine, asked for me. 

She identified herself as my birth mother, and her first question to me was, "Did you get an education?" It blew me away, I immediately responded yes. She then went on to say that she was not able to provide for me the way she thought she should, and that is why she chose to give me up for adoption, especially when she learned that there was a couple (my Mom and Dad) who was so anxious to start a family and couldn't, and would be able to provide for said child (me) in the ways in which she couldn't (my Mom and birth mother shared the same OBGYN).

At a later date, she said that she had been considering abortion, which brought a whole other round of Thank You's from me. And no, I wasn't angry with her for sharing that with me;  it had to be a tough decision for her.  Thank Heavens, the mutual OBGYN offered another solution, and my parents were there, waiting, to call me their own . I then apologized over and over for finding her, but that I had to tell her Thank you for her choice to allow me to have the life that I have had.

The conversation progressed from there and we wound up meeting each other, and continued to do so for awhile, until life seemed to take over and we lost touch, but again, I am OK with that because I accomplished my two objectives and after meeting her, I am sure she is OK with it too

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