Monday, April 17, 2006

Monday Memories

Did I ever tell you about the time we took the marriage test?

We don’t remember the exact date, but I think it was in the fall of 1965. We’d been married five years and I was in graduate school. A local television station in Champaign-Urbana, Illinois was planning to run a marriage advice news story with a test for viewers after the evening news. Somehow we became part of the control group. I believe “experts” at the university prepared the test. We in the control group were to take the test first, then the people watching at home would have a basis of comparison. We’re both a bit fuzzy on the details forty years later. It doesn’t seem like very sound methods to me now because all the control group was part of a young couples group at a local church in Champaign which means we were either students or employees of the university.

After taking the test, my husband and I waited for the results, feeling quite good about our answers and pleased that we’d been invited to participate. Imagine our surprise when we discovered we’d both scored in the 60% range! Almost everyone else got 90% or better. My husband, who rarely gets riled about anything, hissed, “They lied.” In fact, when I asked him about his recollections at dinner last night, he responded, “They all lied.”

To soothe our disappointment that we were a failure not high scorers, we were told that at least we’d scored high on “values,” (how we managed finances, aspirations, etc.) and that we both had similar low scores on the other questions, meaning I suppose we were in agreement on many topics, even if we were wrong. We were told then that more marriages fail over values (particularly how to handle money) than any other problem.

As the anniversaries piled up--10, 20, 30, 40, and moving on to 50, we’ve had some good laughs about the day we flunked the marriage test. And we've wondered about what became of the top scorers.
If you've enjoyed my Monday Memory, please leave a comment and I'll link back to you here.

Click here for the Monday Memories code
Click here for Kimmy's MM banners

Trackbacks, pings, and comment links are accepted and encouraged!

14 comments:

Anvilcloud said...

Just letting you know that your template has gone weird in Firefox and Opera. The second article is way down, below the sidebar, and it stretches right across the sidebar + content columns. It might have something to do with the latest post?

Joan said...

Interesting! It would be great to have some follow-up and hear how many of the other participating couples are still together, wouldn't it?

Beckie said...

Good Morning Norma. I'm with Joan! Wonder if those couples are coming up on a 50th anniversary. Congratulations!
My MM is up.

Katherine said...

That's so funny! You sure showed those "experts" - I wonder how many of them are still married, ha ha. Too bad you don't have a copy of the test with your answers to look at after all these years.

Jane said...

Oh, what do experts know???? You have defied them all.
BTW, I have tagged you....check out my blog for details.

Ames said...

hahaha! I just tagged you too.

YellowRose said...

Just show's you never can trust what the "expert's" say! ;)

Great MM!! Thanks for visiting mine!

The Shrone said...

I'm glad that you defied that test! It just goes to show that the experts cannot account for the human factor.

Rowan said...

Just goes to show...love is far better than tests when it comes so such things.

Bec said...

Tests like that always make me laugh. You can't tell who is going to last in a marriage. Marriages are (well, should be) about two people facing life together and growing with each new experience. How can you tell with a test what people will be facing?
And 90%?! I agree with your husband - they definitely lied!

Shelli said...

Apparently those things don't always matter! Glad that you can laugh about it now.

Jen said...

At this point, I'm guessing there's a problem with the test and not with anything in your marriage :)

Happy Anniversaries, all of them!

Finn said...

That's priceless. So the lesson here is, fail the marriage test, succeed at marriage...

Congrats on beating the odds (I bet all those other couples are divorced now!).

Libragirl said...

The high scorers told each other how to answer. Put A for 1-5 b for 5-10
You and your husband were honest and that's why you're still together. They are all liars and divorced