2933 And if he were your boss or colleague?

What would you have done? Because I was a librarian, I worked with many, openly gay men (and some that were in the closet). Certain careers have been gay-friendly over the years, and gay men have enjoyed positions of prominence, power, and publishing in library science and technology. Back in the 60s we just assumed the aging spinster librarians living together were doing so for convenience and security--the fact that they were lesbians in long term relationships went right over my head.

I knew the monogamous and the promiscuous ones, and several who had also formerly been married. One of my former male employees was still married to his wife the last time he visited me, but he's now a she, so I'm a bit out of the loop on the sexual dynamics of that coupling. It's just more than I want to know. My favorite boss of many years was gay, and his long time partner was often included in social activities. Even in the weeks before he died and I visited him in hospice, he tried to be cheerful and up-to-date on what was happening at the library despite his pain. And so the dilemma of what Foley's colleagues knew and when they knew, hits close to home for me. I truly don't know what I would have done, because it is human nature to make excuses for the failings of friends and colleagues. And it is also human nature to guard your own career ladder and not chop off any of the rungs you need to advance.

Mark Foley was openly gay, his homosexuality apparently well-known on the Hill, and a Republican congressman from Florida. The mainstream media isn't praising his fellow Republicans for accepting him for years as a colleague and friend. No, Foley's homosexuality is never mentioned, but the "failure" of his colleagues and superiors to protect underage boys is. Tricky business, ratting on a friend, a superior, or a "protected" person in today's political climate, isn't it?

In today's upside down world of political correctness, Foley's colleagues' assumed failures are looming much larger in the media than his known disgusting behavior. I think ABC was the first to break the story. A story they sat on for some time before it was trotted out after the deadline for a new Republican to get on the Florida ballot. They showed even less concern "for the children" than Foley did.

There's an editorial about this in the Wall Street Journal today, which has implications for your job and community too. Here's my thoughts:

• Do you assume the colleague's behavior is predatory if you notice something odd,
• or do you wonder if you're being homophobic, or prudish if the colleague isn't gay
• Or are you afraid you'll be accused of being homophobic putting your own career in jeopardy if you say something?
• Do you ask or tell another colleague about it
• or is that gossip if your suspicions are groundless?
• Do you talk privately to the offending colleague or boss (yeah, boss, that's gonna happen!) assuming he won't torpedo your career at the next team evaluation?
• Would you instigated an investigation of e-mail at work?
• Would you go to the ombudsman or personnel director if you knew they were also homosexual, or known to be promiscuous
• Would you know which privacy laws you might be violating?
• Would your private discussion go into your personnel record?
• Do you assume gay men are going to be targeting gay boys?
• And what if the gay boys like and encourage the attention the same way straight teens enjoy attention?
• is this another round of political correctness because of the big push for children to become comfortable with their sexuality?
• Would you alert the child's parents, who may not even be aware of his sexual orientation.

Yes, a lot to think about before you rat out a colleague.