Sunday, May 24, 2009

Randy's Ten Suggestions for Litter Critters

Randy lives on Cape Cod, and it seems some of you visitors are less than careful when you come to that beautiful vacation spot. He has posted some photos of the latest community clean up at his humor blog, and observes, "When someone comes tootling along sipping the last sip of an iced coffee and heaves the empty cup out the window, only one thing comes to my mind: Life imprisonment with no possibility of parole."

So Randy Hunt has a few ideas on how you can break that bad habit. It will work anywhere, even if it's Lakeside or Columbus, Ohio:
    10) No matter how old you are, think about what your mother would say if she saw you littering.

    9) Whether or not you remember the commercial released in March 1971 on the second observance of Earth Day, watch the Crying Indian Commercial.

    8) If you catch your kids littering, make them pick it up.

    7) If your kids catch you littering, make them pick it up. They’ll quickly learn how the rest of us feel about other people littering.

    6) Instead of throwing that losing scratch ticket out the window, save your two bucks and use it to buy gas to drive to the library and check out a book on environmentalism.

    5) Take your habit home with you. Rather than ruin the town for the rest of us, throw your litter onto your living room rug.

    4) Save your empty Dunkin Donuts and Mary Lou’s cups. They make great gifts for the personnel at the transfer station. Trust me. They love ‘em.

    3) If you find yourself throwing beer cans, liquor flasks, and nip bottles out your car window, seek counseling. You’ve got worse problems than being a litterbug.

    2) Rather than throw your empty cigarette pack out the window, eat it. It can’t be any worse for you than smoking the 20 cigarettes.

    And the number one suggestion for people who feel compelled to litter is:

    If your name is Ron and you feel compelled to litter out your car window, consider purchasing this hip hop vanity plate: M O dot R O N.
    Copyright 2009 Randy Hunt

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